Chapter3: Your Hands

And I'll do anything you say
If you say it with your hands.
And I'd be smart to walk away
But you're quicksand.

(Taylor Swift – Treacherous)

I wasn't alone in my bed. There was somebody in my bed with me. And there was never anyone in bed with me.

It was nice.

The Joker lay beside me, sleeping peacefully and the events of the past hours came back to me as I stared up into the darkness.

"Mr. J. Drive me home."

"Do you not own a car?"

Idiot. I knew he was only teasing me, but I was too impatient for his games.

"Are you coming to my place, or not?"

"You live in one room? You're a doctor!"

"I'm paying back my student loans. And you talk too much."

"You have no idea who I am. Or you wouldn't talk to me like that."

"Show me who you are then."

Our clothes vanished into every corner of the apartment.

His lips had an enchanting effect on me, always pulling me closer.

We tripped, fell, laughed and something shattered.

Then we made it to the bed.

I scratched his back bloody.

I didn't even know his name.

His hands had murdered.

His hands made me feel alive.

"Why did you become a doctor?"

"My sister was raped by an attending and then killed herself. I wanted to avenge her."

"Did you find him?"

"No. I gave up."

"What was your sisters name?"

"Sharleen."

"Sharleen and Harleen. That's not very creative."

"She called me Harley."

"Why did you follow me?"

"I didn't."

"Liar. Your mask matched my dress."

"You noticed that?"

"Can I call you Harley?"

"Why?"

"Because I like it. It's so you."

"Ok."

"I followed you, because I'm fascinated by you."

"Why?"

"You don't fear me."

"I fear myself sometimes."

"Why do you have so many tattoos?"

"Why don't you have any?"

"Did they hurt?"

"Define hurt."

"How many people have you murdered?"

"That's not the question you want to ask."

"How many girlfriends have you had?"

"None."

"Do you know the names of all the people working for you?"

"I only have men working for me and yes."

"No women?"

"No."

"What's your real name?"

I awoke with a start. After my own memories I had fallen asleep after all. He was gone. At first I thought he'd left, but then I heard the shower and realised he was in my bathroom.

My apartment was a mess. We had knocked against everything, the kitchen table, the sofa, the plant by the sofa, the table by my bed...

My hand went up to trace along my lips as a cold shiver ran over and through me. What have I done?!

I jumped out of bed and to my closet and got dressed in record speed. I didn't want him to see me naked. Not again.

Then I began to tidy up. All the broken glass was swept away, the furniture stood up again...the bed made.

When the Joker came out of the bathroom the apartment was in perfect shape again. It was time for him to leave, he realised that didn't he?

He didn't have to say anything. It was written all over his face and reflected in his blazing eyes. He was not leaving anytime soon.

"No." I held up my hand between us to keep him at bay. "Don't come any closer."

He laughed, "After last night that wasn't the kind of greeting I was expecting!"

Because he was moving towards me with the movements of a hunter searching for his prey I backed away further, behind the small kitchen table.

"I have to say Harley...I'm not really feeling the love." There was that rage in his voice again, like in our first night. The threat.

"There is no love." I said clearly. "What happened last night was a mistake. It won't happen again."

He smiled his joyless smile: "Do you really think you can reject me?"

This guy was so full of himself.

"I just did."

The Joker growled and it wasn't in a hot way, like it had been last night and flung the table away with one brush of his arm. I jumped back and if I hadn't been so terrified I would have been impressed by his strength.

"Harley, do you have any idea what I am capable of?" He stepped closer to me, his hot breath tickling my skin as he hissed into my ear. "I can make your life a living hell until you are pleading with me to just put you out of your misery and finally kill you."

It was in that moment that I knew I was in too deep. Not last night. This moment right here. While he was threatening to do horrible things to me I could feel my knees grow weak and my heart race in a good way.

I was falling in love with him and I could do nothing to stop it.

Well. There was one thing.

"Last night is not going to repeat itself." I said clearly, trying not to let his harshness intimidate me. "You're just going to have to get over it."

A smile played around his lips as he slid even closer to me, reminding me of nothing less than a snake in that moment. He pressed his body against mine and I felt myself growing weak again. His mouth travelled across my neck, his tongue sliding over the delicate skin there.

I didn't mean for it to happen, but a low moan escaped my mouth as his hands wandered down my body.

Give in, Harley. A voice inside me whispered. Just give in. Give in. Give in...

The Jokers lips brushed against mine in the softest manner, just to tease me, barely kissing me, when I all I wanted was for him to kiss me like he had last nights. With fireworks.

"Baby, I can promise you: I will not be the one begging."

With that he turned around and left me alone with my intense feelings. So intense that I slid to the floor, as if he had taken all of my strength with him.

"Goodbye, Dr. Quinzel." His voice had a bitter tone to it and although I had been alone all my life and had little friends, I had never felt so lonely like in that moment, when the Joker had left.

I was late to work again. After I'd put the table back where it belonged – it had still been in one piece surprisingly enough – I'd had a shower and tried to call Shayne. But he hadn't answered. When I hurried into the locker room it was deserted, luckily. I pulled my top over my head in a swift motion and then heard a low chuckle behind me:

"Late night?" Quinn asked. She'd been sitting on the bench behind me and I hadn't seen her in my hurries. She wasn't changed completely yet either. "I lost track of you at the party. You followed my advice didn't you?"

"Yeah." I groaned, as I opened my locker to put on my scrubs. "I'm not doing that again."

"Come one! Give me details!"

I pulled the blue fabric over my head, "You don't want to know."

"Did you do it with Dr. Turner? Because that would be like...super kinky."

"No!" I stood up to shove my clothes into the locker.

"Well, he's hot and he obviously has a thing for you."

I rolled my eyes, "No, he hasn't."

"Whatever you say...but if it was me, I'd go for it. Screwing the Chief of Surgery? That will get you to places."

Angrily I spun around to her: "He's married Quinn!"

"Harleen, you're so sweet sometimes." She leaned forward, tying her trainers. "Honestly, how has you naivete not gotten you killed yet?"

"It was the Joker!" I snapped, fed up with her characterization of me. "Ok? I spent the entire night screwing a psychopath, so would you please just let it go?!"

Her mouth had popped open, but she regained her speech very quickly: "Are you crazy?! How could you do that?!"

I shrugged my shoulders, pushing the locker door shut: "You said no pain, no gain."

"I meant if the guy's married or arrogant...or smells funny! I didn't mean for you to go and fuck a killer!"

Her harsh words made me flinch. They were my thoughts exactly. They were true. There was a silence between us and that fine by me. But Quinn had other ideas.

She took a deep breath and then asked: "Well...how was it?"

I closed my eyes with an annoyed sigh. I so didn't want to have this conversation right now.

"Is he kinky?" She asked and as soon as that question had left her mouth more followed immediately: "Does he use toys?Is he shaved? How big is his-"

"Quinn!" I yelled in my loudest voice, causing her to jump. "Stop asking me questions. It was good, ok? It was..." I shook my head, "I'm disgusted by myself, but it was amazing. It was..." This was 10 times more humiliating than I had first thought, but I finally admitted: "It was the best sex I've ever had."

"Oh shit." She whispered with a wide grin. "You're in love with him!"

"What?!" Where on earth had she gotten that from?! "You are the crazy one! That is not true! It was just one night."

She raised her eyebrows questioningly, "And now it's over?"

Baby, I can promise you: I will not be the one begging.

He'd been so hurt and so sad.

"Yes." I said clearly. "It's over."

Finally the door to the locking room burst open and a male nurse yelled: "We have car-crash victims coming in!"

Quinn and I hurried out of the small room to get to our patients when the nurse calmly said: "Oh no, Dr. Quinn. Not you. Chief Turner wants to see you in his office."

I stopped dead in my tracks, as did Quinn. She looked, shrugged her shoulders and then vanished into the mass of doctors, nurses and patients, leaving me behind by myself.

Up until this scene I didn't really like Quinn, now I love her, so expect to read more of her :) Thank you for all your messages! Please review!