Chapter4: Killing Me

And I'm dying to know, is it killing you
Like it's killing me?

(Taylor Swift – Story of Us)

A/N: Hi guys! So, this is a first, but I actually forgot to upload? Sorry! You can thank my friend J for reminding me. No pun intended. Her name starts with J :D

Hailey: Shayne is super important for the rest of the story. You'll see why. Thanks for your review :)

"Time of death – 18:22." Dr. Russel sighed as he looked down at the dead woman. "Such a shame."

It was more than a shame. It was heart-breaking.

"Dr. Quinzel?"

"Yes?"

"Would you tell the family?" His eyes looked so sad behind the surgical mask and since it wasn't possible for my own mood to sink lower, I sighed:

"Yes, Dr. Russel."

He was also head of cardio and very good friends with Dr. Turner, so I just did what he said. Once I was outside of the OR and had scrubbed out I took a deep shaky breath.

Kelly Bennet had been 32 years old. Her daughter Samantha was in the waiting room, she was ten and her little brother Tommy was six years old. Her husband had died of cancer two years ago and now someone had missed a red light and these little children were orphans.

When I stepped into the waiting room I could see that an older woman had sat down beside the two children. I looked at the family with a sinking heart. Maybe my mood could worsen after all.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Bennet?"

She looked up at me with large blue eyes. Her hair was grey, her skin wrinkled and she looked like she had already seen all the bad things the world had to offer.

"My name is Dr. Quinzel. I'm your daughters doctor, could we go somewhere private and talk?"

Tommy was asleep, slumped in his chair, but Samantha was staring up at me with the same blue eyes her grandmother had.

"Is my mum ok?"

"Mrs. Bennet?"

"Sweetie, I'm going to talk to the doctor. You look after your brother, ok?"

The old lady stood up with shaking legs and followed me outside. The hallway was buzzing with people, so I led her into a vacated examination room.

"Your daughter was bleeding internally very strongly and we did everything we could, but then her heart failed and I'm sorry, Mrs. Bennett, but we weren't able to resuscitate. Your daughter has died."

The old womans eyes filled with tears and she whispered hoarsely: "I felt it this morning when I woke up. I knew something horrible was going to happen." Her hand reached up to cover her mouth and she began to sob. "Now they have nobody left! My poor grandchildren!"

"They have you", I reminded her softly, as I hugged her tightly.

She cried against my shoulder, then pulled herself together, wiped her tears and took a deep breath, before she turned around and went back to the children.

My shift was over and I was ready to go home and lie in my bed and wallow in self-pity as I had been doing the entire last week. I missed the Joker and I didn't know what to do against it. I wished I hadn't sent him away and I had no way of contacting him. And he was a psychotic criminal.

And now, a week later I had bought a cat and spent every free minute I had wondering what he was doing and whether he was thinking of me?

"Dr. Quinzel? Would you come into my office, please? I have a matter I need to discuss with you."

I turned around to tell Dr. Turner no, I was not going anywhere with him, but he had already gone into his office and two nurses had seen him ask me. I couldn't not go. He was my boss.

Sighing deeply I followed him.

"Please, take a seat. I just heard that your patient died on the table. Do you need a hug?"

I hated this man so much. Every day he had called me into his office. And the problem was: He always found a reason. On Monday it had been complaints from a patient. On Tuesday complaints from a colleague. On Wednesday he had apologized for only giving me bad news, asking if I was ok. On Thursday he wanted to hear my opinion of Quinn, because he'd been watching her and didn't like the way she spoke to patients. Because she wasn't as kind as I was.

On Friday I was close to loosing it.

"No. I just want to go home."

Dr. Turner stood behind me, running his fingers over my exposed neck. My blood ran cold at his touch.

"The problem is, if the family asks questions and tries to file a lawsuit...whose name will it be on the papers?" His hands left me, as he came around the chair to look at me with an evil: "Here's a hint: It won't be Dr. Russel."

I closed my eyes for a brief second. Threatening my career? Seriously? Enough was enough. I was about to give him a piece of my mind, when he leaned forward and whispered:

"And Dr. Russel hasn't got the means to make this go away. You, on the other hand...you have the right means, Dr. Quinzel."

He wasn't the Doctor of sexual harassment – he was the Superhero of sexual harassment. What he said wasn't necessarily sexual, the way he said it however and the fact that he was staring at my breasts turned the whole thing into something else.

The door opened suddenly and his beautiful wife Susanne came inside. She was a resident here as well and there was something about her that made me shiver. Maybe it was just the fact that she was married to this vile creature.

"What's going on in here?" Her tone was friendly enough, but her eyes...this woman scared the shit out of me and I'd had sex with the notorious Joker – I knew scary.

"Dr. Quinzel lost a patient, Darling."

Her features softened and she stroked some of her brown hair out of her face: "Oh, I'm so sorry."

"I...eh...just wanted to...I was worried about a law-suit", I stammled, straightening my glasses and standing up, "But Dr. Turner here has told me there's no need to worry." He nodded with a glint in his eye.

"So he's all yours now. Bye!" I rushed out of the office, with goosebumps all over my skin. I couldn't tell who had his claws into me deeper: The Joker, because I couldn't stop thinking about him or Dr. Turner because he had me lying for him.

Never mind any of it, I thought, I'm going home now.

I dressed quickly and had just made it out of the hospital, when a familiar voice called me back:

"Harleen!" It was Quinn and it looked like she'd been waiting for me. "There you are!"

"Yeah", I ran my hand through my hair, "I still had to...what's up?"

Quinn, although she annoyed me at times, was my only friend. She didn't know everything going on, but she knew the most and I liked talking to somebody. However...she loved Dr. Turner. Everyone liked him, but she was obsessed. She thought he was the best Chief of Surgery anyone could ask for and the problem was: I couldn't disagree. He was friendly, he always seemed to have time for every little problem we had, he took us seriously...if only he weren't such a pervert.

So I couldn't tell her. It was impossible.

"Let's go and get drinks!" She begged, "It's Friday and you need to leave that flat of yours!"

"I can't." Although a part of me actually wanted to. "I have to go home to my Puddin'."

"I'm sorry – you're what?"

Her confusion made me laugh, as I walked across the parking lot to my car.

"My kitten, I told you about her."

"No." She said clearly, "You said you were thinking of getting a cat – I said you needed to get laid."

"Well I did. And now I have a cat."

Quinn closed her eyes and sighed once, loud and dramatically: "Harleen. I'm your friend, right? I mean...you haven't told anyone else about Mr. J, have you?"

"No."

"Ok. Then listen to my advice: Find out where he lives, apologise and tell him you're in love with him. I'm serious. Dating a killer would be healthier than whatever you are doing right now. Just...you know, ask him for a second chance."

I'd given up on saying I wasn't love with him. I was completely in love with him and Quinn knew it.

"No." Now I was the one to say it clearly. "Do you have any idea how pathetic that is?"

"About as pathetic as getting a cat, because you're love-sick. Probably less."

I rolled my eyes and opened my car, "I've always wanted a cat. It has nothing to do with him."

"Right." She didn't believe a word I said, but she knew I wouldn't be coming with her: "Have a nice night, crazy cat lady!"

"I'm not crazy! And it's one cat."

Puddin' was still a tiny little kitten. Black with blue eyes. I loved her so much already, even though I'd only gotten her two days ago. I loved coming home to her.

"Meow!"

"Hey Puddin'!" I cradled her in my arms, pressing my face into her soft fur. "I got held up at work, but I'll feed you right now!"

"Meow."

I sat her down on the floor again and hurried to the kitchen, where I kept her food on the counter. I pressed the button on my answering machine and heard Shayne's voice:

"Hey sis! Just wanted to see how you're doin'. Is Dr. Pervert still giving you a bad time?" I had to smile at his nickname and put the cat food in Puddin's bowl, "I can't get off work yet, but I have vacation time coming up and thought I could come see you and...straighten him out. I'm worried. Call me!"

"Here you go, baby." I set the bowl on the floor and then switched on the radio to hear the news.

"...The body of a 28-year-old woman was found this afternoon, Jeff." One reporter was saying: "She was raped and all of her hair was cut off, just like the other three. This guys a real freak and NYPD are trying their best..."

The phone rang and I reached for it,

"Yeah?"

"Harleen!"

"Shayne", I rolled my eyes, sitting down on the bed, "I'm fine. But you should come and visit me. I need to switch some things around in my apartment."

I also needed a new bed.

"Harleen." His voice was so serious, so sad that I almost dropped the phone. The last time he'd spoken to me like this was when he'd told me about Sharleens death.

"What's wrong?"

"This...this doctor Turner...do you think he's the one who raped Sharley?"

"I..." I was speechless for a moment, "I hadn't thought about it. I don't know...he's too young to have been an attending 10 years ago."

"Well" Shayne sounded excited, "I was thinking about that...what if...what if it wasn't an attending?"

"What do you mean?!" I snapped now. "You're the one, who told me it was!"

"I can't remember!" Shayne called out: "I mean she...she never said who it was. She just said, he raped me. And I...I'm not sure Harleen." His voice had something desperate. "This guy...I mean he's been targeting you, right? Maybe because of your name, maybe he remembers her."

I lied down on my bed with a sigh. Shayne was feeling guilty again and wanted it to be Dr. Turner. He needed it to be over.

"I don't know." I said again. "Dr. Turner's...gross. But he's not a rapist.. He's just a regular perv. Does that make sense?"

"I don't know." He sighed now.

"Look, why don-"

"Dr. Quinzel!" A loud voice called at my door and then somebody started knocking.

"Who is that?" Shayne sounded worried.

Knowing my luck lately, it was probably death himself.

"I don't know." I stood up. "Hold on."

When I looked through the peephole I almost dropped the phone in shock of who was standing there.

"Shayne, I'm gonna call you back." I hung up and ripped the door open immediately. He didn't come inside or waste any time in greetings:

"Dr. Quinzel. The boss needs you. He's hurt."

I didn't hesitate for a second and hurried after Johnny to help the Joker. And to finally see him again.

Please tell me what you think :)