Chapter7: Lost Your Mind

I guess you really did it this time
Left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on a tightrope
Lost your mind tryin' to get it back

(Taylor Swift – Innocent)

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His blood was everywhere. I stood still for a moment looking at his dead body. Do no harm. That had been our oath. We weren't supposed to do any harm.

He was dead.

"Meow." Puddin came out from her hiding place from under the bed.

There was a dead man in my apartment and I was covered in his blood! I was going to jail! I had just murdered somebody!

"No." I said out loud, still unable to move. "No. It was self-defence." He had attacked me. He had tried to rape me. I needed help. Now.

And suddenly I was laughing hysterically, unable to stop.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" I sunk to the ground laughing uncontrollably and Puddin hid under the bed again.

Because who should I have called? Hey Quinn, you know the Chief of Surgery, right? The one you like so much? He tried to rape me and I killed him, so...do you want to come over and help me get rid of the body?

Or Shayne? Hey big brother! Turns out the just-a-pervert-doctor actually was a rapist afteral! Was. Yeah. I killed him. Do you know what I should do with his body?

Just as suddenly as my laughing fit had begun, it subsided. I knew who I could ask these questions. I knew who knew how to get rid of a body. I knew who could save me.

Stepping over Dr. Turners corpse I grabbed my keys and walked out the door. I couldn't remember how I got into my car. It felt like I'd blinked and suddenly I was standing in front of his penthouse.

The Joker would be able to help me and if he refused I'd just continue driving. Anyway this ended: I was not seeing that dead body again. I couldn't take it.

I ran up the stairs to the front door and then just barged inside, without knocking.

"Mr. J!" I roared loudly. "Are you here?!"

He had to be here. I couldn't wait this out. In my high heels I stumbled into his living room. It was kind of a funny picture:

The Joker dressed in dark trousers and a purple jacket over his bare chest was standing in his living room, five of his men were standing nearby. They all seemed frozen, looking at me confused.

"There's a corpse in my apartment!" I burst out. "He...he tried to rape me and I killed him." Saying it out loud like this forced tears into my eyes, but I blinked them away. "I don't know what to do."

The six men continued staring at me. My words hadn't helped them with any of their confusion. Some of then shook their heads with blank looks on their faces.

Everyone but the Joker was silent. He stepped forward and called very softly:

"Johnny?"

I had no idea how Johnny had heard this, but the young man came into the living room immediately. I guess if your one purpose in life was to serve a person you always managed to hear their voice.

"Yes, boss?"

"Do you remember how I was not amused about Dr. Quinzel knowing where I live?" He nodded towards me. "These kind of surprise visits are what I meant."

"I'm sorry boss. It won't happen again."

"No it won't." These three words sounded like a threat. There was a silence and all I could hear was my loud breath, until I finally whispered:

"Can you help me? Please?" At the last word our eyes met and I was suddenly reminded of what he had said. How he would not be the one begging. A smile spread on his face and I laughed humourlessly. This was not the begging he had meant.

"Johnny, take the boys to Dr. Quinzel's apartment. There's a situation that needs cleaning up."

In an instant all men left the living room and I was alone with him. I was suddenly overwhelmed with relief, so I sunk into the armchair closest to me.

I closed my eyes. It had been self-defence. An accident. And starting now it had never happened. No one would ever know.

When I opened my eyes again the Joker had come closer to me. He stood right in front of me.

"Take off your clothes."

I was speechless and could only stare up at him open-mouthed. I had just almost been raped and he thought I wanted to have sex with him?!

Mr. J rolled his eyes. "You're basically a walking crime-scene. We need to get rid of the evidence."

We.

I nodded and stood up.

"Come." I was surprised at the gentleness of his tone and even more when he extended his hand out to me and led me up the stairs.

"He was in my apartment when I got home." I said. "He had a knife. He was going to rape me."

The Joker didn't answer. What should he have said? I had just killed a man. When we entered his large bathroom he let go of my hand and said:

"Take of all of your clothes. Including your underwear, we're going to have to burn it. Scrub yourself clean of all his blood and..." His gaze darkened. "Any other traces of him."

I nodded.

"When you're done, there's bleach in the lower cabinette. Make sure to clean the shower thoroughly. Ok?"

I nodded.

"I'll bring you some clean clothes. Leave the door unlocked."

The shower was the only thing I was thinking about. I didn't care about afterwards. I just wanted to feel clean again. I basically scrubbed my skin raw over and over again until I felt like I had truly washed all of the traces of him from me.

When I stepped out of the shower he had put a dark blue shirt, even darker pants and light brown boots out for me. And black underwear.

I almost emptied the bleach in the shower and didn't even find it odd that he had women's underwear and bleach lying around his house. What I had done was part of his everyday life. I was a part of his world now.

I stepped outside into the empty hallway and walked down the stairs quietly. Mr. J was on the phone.

"What?" He sounded confused.

There was a small pause and then the Joker muttered: "Interesting. I'll see you back here." He hung up the phone and turned around to me: "The jobs done."

"Really?" I held on to the bannister tightly, not sure if I could believe his words. A part of me wanted to him to hold me and promise me that everything would be alright. The other wanted him to tell me he was proud of me. However his next remark caused both parts to shut up instantly:

"That would be 20 Million."

"What?!" I screeched. "Dollars?!"

"No. Apples." The Joker rolled his eyes and then snapped: "Of course Dollars!"

"But..." I found myself rendered completely speechless, as I stepped closer to him. "I don't have that kind of money!"

Mr. J did not look happy at all, when he pointed his index finger at me: "Then do not come to me with that kind of problem! You owe me Harley!"

I didn't know what to say, because I supposed I did owe him. But how on earth was I supposed to pay my debt? I hadn't even covered my student loans yet. And I didn't know what to do now. Could I really just go home?

"Do you still need something?" He asked coldly and I realised he was right. I had no reason to stay. The fact that I didn't want to be alone right now didn't count.

"Why?" I snapped. "Got plans with your girlfriend?"

"Yes in fact I have." He smiled without looking joyfully. "Carley should be here any minute."

"Her name is Marley! The least you could do is remember her name!"

Mr. Joker chuckled. "I have a new one."

"Great." I sighed. "Does she look like me too?"

"No." He said clearly, but I could tell he was lying.

"Goodbye, Mr. J." I walked towards the door and had almost reached it when he called me back:

"Oh and Harley, my dear? Do not come back here, without my money. You owe me!"

3rd Person POV

"Hey Boss, there's no body here."

"What?" He was confused. Had the little doctor just tried to get his attention? Well, it had worked...

"Don't get me wrong. Something went on here. There's blood everywhere." Johnny paused. "But this guy survived, boss."

There was a small pause and then the Joker muttered: "Interesting. I'll see you back here."

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