A/N: Guys, I can't even...I'm so sorry I haven't uploaded in so long. Thank you for each message and review and your kind words!

III

"Everything I need"

I'll stop time for you
The second you say you'd like me to
I just wanna give you the loving that you're missing
Baby, just to wake up with you
Would be everything I need and this could be so different
Tell me what you want to do

Mr. J's face showed more emotions than I had hoped for: Shock, Realisation, Rage.

"Harley." He sounded tired as he stepped closer. "What happened?"

I knew exactly what I wanted to say. On the bus ride over here I'd prepared for this conversation. But as I looked up at him all I could do was cry. I stepped forward and so did the Joker. He caught me and I sobbed in his arms.

"You were right. About everything."

"I know." He said sadly as he put his arms around tightly and then added: "I usually am."

"I didn't know where else to go."

Mr. J pressed his face against my hair and breathed in deeply. "I know."

"Can I stay here?" I asked as I looked up at him. "Please? I don't know where else I should go. Please let me stay."

The Joker stepped back and took hold of my bruised face.

"You need to see a doctor."

My heart skipped a beat at his words. Bruce Wayne was something of a celebrity here in Gotham and as his fiancée I shared some of his fame. I couldn't just walk into the hospital looking the way I did. But I was starting to have trouble breathing...my torso really hurt.

"Johnny." Mr. J let go of my face again. "Give the doc a cal. He needs to come for an emergency."

The man who had answered the door stepped into my view. He looked handsome, somehow too handsome to be working here.

"Yes, boss."

"Is that all you took with you?" Mr. J pointed at the small bag at my feet and I nodded.

"I didn't know when he'd be back, so I just took all the contents of my closet and got out of there."

The Joker didn't ask me what happened. I saw two reasons as of why he didn't. The first was he didn't have to and he already knew what had happened. The second was that he didn't care about the details of what had happened. I liked that about him.

"You can stay here for a while." He said in an emotionless tone. I couldn't tell if he was angry or not. "Let me show you your room."

I picked up my small bag and followed him. Mr. J lived in a large villa that reminded me of Bruce's living accommodation. He had wanted me to move in with him, but I had said no. That's when we moved into the apartment together. Once we got married we were going to move into his villa again...although I was pretty sure we weren't getting married.

It was only when we were at the top of the stairs that I realised what he had said. Your room. He wasn't being a host. He really had once prepared a room for me. But I hadn't accepted.

The room was very big and it reminded me of a Disney-Movie: There was a thick warm carpet in a dark red tone, a large bed, with red and blue curtains draped around it, a wide black closet, probably filled with clothes.

"There's a bathroom over there." The Joker pointed to a door opposite the large bed.

Under different circumstances I might have squealed in delight, checked the closet, ran into the bathroom and looked at what he had prepared for me.

But this was no delightful situation, so I only set my bag on the bed and felt overwhelmed by tiredness very suddenly, very harshly. My shoulders sagged, my head bent down. I didn't know what to say.

"Ill send the doc up." Mr. J still had his very emotionless tone. "He's used to handling things discreetly."

When he had already opened the door to leave I was finally able to speak again.

"Thank you."

The insecurity in my voice was clear as day, it even sounded like a question. There was a pause so long I thought he had left but then I heard his voice, steady as a rock.

"You're welcome."

The door closed and I sat down on the bed with a small sigh. How could one day be so long? How could I feel so tired?

"And I can't do it right now, but I promise you, if I were able to I'd take your hand in mine and I'd hold it and listen to all the apologises he's given to you. Then I'd pull you into my into my arms and hold you until you felt safe again. Dr. Quinzel, I'd protect you and fight of everyone who tries to hurt you." He paused and softly said: "Because that's what you do with the people you love."

People you love. I fell back onto the large bed. It was so much softer than the bed I'd been sharing with Bruce.

I didn't know what to do, I didn't even know what to feel. Mr. J had been my patient. He was a sick and deranged man. He was a murderer who tortured people for fun.

And Bruce? I asked myself. What is he?

The Joker was sick and deranged yes, but at least he was honest about it. Getting involved with him was dangerous and that was clear. And Bruce?

He pulled me into his false sense of love and security and let me down over and over again.

So, really who was the deranged one? Mr. J? Bruce? Or was it maybe me? Loving someone who hurt me and loving someone who was utterly insane...maybe all of this was my fault.

There was a knock on the door that interrupted my thoughts.

"Miss Quinzel?"

Tears burned in my eyes because honestly I didn't know who I was any more. Miss Quinzel, Harley or Mrs. Wayne.

I was pretty sure I was none of these women and yet all of them at the same time.

"Yes?" I didn't know what else to say.

"My name is Dr. Ehrens. I understand you have some injuries?"

I laughed humourlessly. Some injuries. Laughing hurt and I groaned.

"Yes, come in please."

The door opened and the doctor stepped in. He wasn't wearing a white coat, but just jeans and a black sweater. I sat up and winced and he hurried to my side immediately. When his eyes met mine there was no shock in his face and I guess he was used to sights like this.

He pulled a chair in front of the bed and sat down before me, studying my face.

"Are you heart anywhere else?"

I nodded. "My upper torso hurts."

He didn't seem surprised and he probably remembered kicking me when I was down.

"Miss Quinzel I need you to take of your blouse."

And I'm laughing, gasping for breath as pain radiates through my body.

"That's the nicest way you've ever asked for sex, Bruce."

Confusion crosses his face but he quickly recovered. "I'm sorry. Please, take of your blouse. You might have bruised your ribs."

"I might have bruised my ribs?! You're the one who did this!"

"I don't understand. Please let me help you, Miss." With that he stepped closer and reached out to touch me and I screamed as loudly as I could, so Mr. J would hear and get him off me.

"No! Get away from me! No! Help!"

"Please, Miss –"

"Don't touch me!" I slapped him, trying my best to get away from him. I was so fed up with Bruce hurting me, I'd had it. And why was he even here? The Joker would kill him and in that moment I wanted him to.

"Help!"

Finally the door flew open and once again I was faced with a very angry man. Fire blazing in his blue eyes as he strode towards us.

"What the hell is going on here, Doc?!"

"I don't know!" Bruce was terrified and I was loving every minute of it. "I swear Mr. J! I wanted to check her injuries and then she suddenly lost it."

"Keep him away from me, Mr. J!" I sobbed. "Please, why is he here?!"

The anger in his eyes ceased as he pushed himself between Bruce and me. "He's here to help you, Harley."

"He's the one that hurt me."

Bruce frowned, but Mr. J began to laugh his crackling laugh. "Ha, ha, ha, haaaaaaaaaaa." He turned to my fiancé. "Doc, you look like her assailant." He cocked his head to the side. "Huh. I never noticed it before, but she's right."

Bruce didn't seem to find this funny at all.

"Harls." Mr. J took my bruised face in his soft hands and wiped away my tears. "This is my doctor, he won't hurt you. I promise. He just looks like Brucie that's all."

"Stay with me?" I whispered and he nodded, pressing a kiss against my temple.

One swollen black eye, one split lip, one bruised cheek-bone, two broken ribs, one bruised collarbone. And who would have thought that one body could ever look so blue and green? The doctor looked at me, pressed spots on my body and seemed to find more and more injuries with time.

"Miss Quinzel, we are going to wrap a bandage around your torso." The man who looked like Bruce said. "To stabilize your ribs. It is vital that you do not move or lift heavy things for the next few weeks and we will check them regularly."

I nodded, barely hearing what he said. Mr. J helped me stand up, taking my hands in his and steadying me.

"You'll be ok." He promised and I didn't know how to respond to that.

The doctor wrapped a large white bandage around me and I was suddenly in a completely different situation from a few weeks before...

"There we go." The saleswoman smiled brightly. "Now that we have your measurements we can find the perfect dress."

I smiled back and she vanished behind the thick curtain taking the measuring tape with her. I sat down on the small bench in the changing room. This was happening, really and actually happening, I could still barely believe it. My phone vibrated in the pocket of my jeans that were lying on the floor.

Hi beautiful, are you in your white dress yet?

I grinned as I replied: Actually in my underwear ;-) she's bringing the first dress now.

His reply came within minutes. Will you send a picture? :)

I laughed and then the curtain opened again and the blonde saleswoman came inside.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes!" I threw the phone on the jeans and she showed me the first dress she had picked out. It was

long, the waist slim, covered in a flowery pattern, it had no straps, revealing the brides neck and the cleavage wasn't too deep. The dress had a wide skirt, but not too wide, not like a princess' dress. It was perfect.

The saleslady helped me inside and as I turned around to the mirror I was surprised to find tears in my own eyes.

"It's..."

"Perfect?" She asked with a smile, handing me a handkerchief.

"Yes." I laughed and dabbed at my tears feeling more like a woman than I had in any moment in my entire life. The saleswoman stepped behind me and put the veil in my long curly hair.

"Are you ready to show it to your mother and friend?"

I nodded and wiped at my tears one last time, glad that I hadn't put on any make-up today. She opened the curtain and we stepped outside and I followed her to Sara and my mother, who were also both in tears when they saw me.

"Oh Harleen!" Mum sobbed. "You look so beautiful!"

Sara nodded beside her. Her curly her jumping up and down. "That dress was made for you!"

The saleswoman was smiling brightly. "Turn around, Miss Quinzel, so we can see it from all sides."

I turned and the dress swirled around me. It was perfect. It truly was made for me. Just like he was.

"Would you like to try on another?" She asked and I found myself laughing.

"Actually no." I stroked the white dress with a smile. "This is it."

The blonde smiled. "It doesn't happen often that the first dress is the right one, but I agree with you. You truly are a beauty."

"Thank you." I turned to the mirror and looked at the dress flowing down my body. This was really happening and I had it all. The perfect man. The perfect dress. My life was perfect. All my dreams were coming true.

"I'm not just saying this and I do mean it." The saleswoman said behind me. "You are truly the most beautiful bride I have ever seen."

Sara grinned beside her. "You are, Harleen. The most beautiful bride in the world."

"With the most loving groom in the world." Mum said with a smile, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. "A match made in heaven."

"Ow!" I muttered as the doctor pulled the bandage tighter.

"Sorry." He muttered which was ridiculous, because he had done nothing wrong. He was the only one helping me.

"Have you got some pills for her?" Mr. J asked from his position behind me where he had been standing during my ordeal with his hands securely on my shoulders.

"Sure Mr. Joker." Dr. Ehrens smiled and it lit up his handsome face. "Miss Quinzel, you need a lot of rest, I will give you some painkillers, but if the pain intensifies or you feel nauseous or dizzy do not hesitate to call me."

"Thank you."

He smiled a smile that reminded me of my father, when he'd still been alive and had helped me when I'd fallen of my bike and scraped my knee. I'd been seven and he had been the kindest man in my world.

"Take good care of yourself." He looked behind me at Mr. J. "You're in good hands here."

He left and Mr. J led me back to the bed and helped me put on my blouse again. As he buttoned it up I thought about how strange that was. His fingers on the buttons and he wasn't opening them. It was all so wrong. I'd never thought his was happen, him helping me get dressed and not undressing me. Bruce hitting me. Everything was so messed up. .

"Do you need anything?" He asked.

"Have you got something to eat?"

"Sure." He sounded surprised. "What do you want?"

"A cheeseburger." The word had left my mouth before I'd realised what I was saying. "And fries, the salty ones and..." As I said it, I only realised how hungry I was. "Tomato juice."

He stared at me for a long moment and I could see he was trying to figure out of I was joking or was actually serious about this.

"Tomato juice?"

I nodded and suddenly was so hungry and wanted just what I had described so badly.

"Ok." He said, still confused. "It's just...I can get you anything from this city, whatever you want, lamb chops, lobster, caviar...anything at all."

"Cheeseburger and fries are perfect."

He continued to stare at me and I wondered how many times that happened that someone played a joke on the Joker. "Ok. I'll have Johnny get it for you."

"Thank you."

Man that tomato juice sounded so good. I sat down on the bed again and looked around at the rich furniture and the small details. Purple and green was everywhere. His colours. And dabs of blue and red, my favourite colours as he knew. He had put so much heart into decorating this room for me and I started to cry at the thought.

Bruce had bought me the perfect dress and had said the price didn't matter. He wanted me to have whatever I wanted.

But I had never wanted this.

The door opened and he came inside. When he saw me crying, he pulled me against him and I sobbed against his chest. He never said a word, he just held me as if he knew how I felt and as I thought back to our therapy sessions I realised he did. He knew what it was like to feel hurt and disappointed and weak. He'd been in a similar situation before.

When Johnny knocked on the door with my food I stood up and went into the bathroom. I avoided the mirror, I couldn't stand the sight of my face and washed it with cold water, trying to cool it off. When I came back Mr. J handed me my cheeseburger and we sat down on the floor on pillows, sharing two large fries between us. I leaned against the bed. He didn't want any of the tomato juice even though I asked him twice.

We ate in silence and after wiping my lips with a tissue I said: "I need to call Bruce."

Mr. J sent me a dark glare that almost had me flinching and I explained with a sigh:

"Tonight's our engagement party – I need to tell him I'm not coming."

"If your guy beats you, you don't need to do anything any more." J said in a cold tone and I reached out to touch his hand.

"I need to call him for me." I looked into his blue eyes, willing him to understand. "I need to know that I will never go back to him."

He pressed his lips together, obviously not happy with this decision.

"And I need you to be here." Tears burned in my eyes and I blinked them away quickly. "I can't do this by myself."

Mr. J stood up then and left the room. I sighed. What had I expected? This guy had prepared and decorated a room just for me, had been ready to spend his life with me and I had left him stranded and now when I needed help I made him do everything for me. I should have known better. Tomorrow I'd leave.
I sighed.

Mum would be less than forthcoming, but she was all I had left.

The door opened and Mr. J came back – a cell phone in his hands. He sat down beside me leaning against the bed and I saw the symbolism of it. I wasn't sitting on the floor by myself.

I knew Bruces phone number off my heart and wished that I didn't. Wished that I could erase all my memories. Wish that I could forget him.

"Hello?" His voice brought me back to the first time we'd met. When things had been perfect.

"Bruce, it's Harleen."

"Harleen?" He sounded surprised and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Had he known that it was over? That I wasn't coming back? Had he not expected me to call?

"Bruce, I'm not coming to the party tonight." I was proud of the coldness in my tone and Mr. J pressed my hand with a small smile.

"What do you mean?" I could hear the rage in his voice, under the surface, ready to burst at any moment. "It's our engagement party, you have to come."

"You and I are no longer engaged." I said. "It's over."

"Harleen..." He whispered. "Please don't do this."

"You did this!" I snapped and it was my rage that was boiling over. "You ruined this, it's all on you. I'm not coming back, I'm not marrying you. This is over."

"But...can't we try again?"

"No."

"Can't you at least come tonight?!" And there his rage was and I flinched. "Do you realise what you make me look like, leaving me like this?! What will people think?"

"Do you really want me to come?" I felt the tears burning in my eyes again. "All bruised and bloody? What will people think then?"

He didn't answer.

"We're through, Bruce. This relationship is over."

"You can't do this to me Harleen!" He yelled and I jumped. Mr. J practically growled beside me. "Tell me where you are so we can talk about this!"

The tears streamed down my face and I tried to speak in a steady voice: "There's nothing left to talk about."

"Where are you?!"

I locked eyes with the Joker. "Somewhere safe."

"Harleen!"

"Goodbye, Bruce." I hung up before he could say anything else and took a deep shaky breath.

"You did really well, Harley." Mr. J said as he moved closer to me and put his arms around my trembling shoulders. "I'm proud of you."

"Me too." I whispered and he leaned his head against mine so that we were cheek to cheek. I tried my best to forget the good memories, tried not to remember how nice his kisses were, how warm his laughter was. The man I had loved was dead and it was time to accept that and grieve for him. And then it was time to move on.

"Are you ok?"

I turned to look at him and felt so safe just by staring into his blue eyes.

"I'm not sure." I knew nothing any more. "Thank you for being here for me."

"I told ya I'd treat you better." The seriousness of his tone made my heart flutter.

"I know." I blushed. "I remember."

He grinned because he remembered it all too well as well. The heat in the patients cell. His hands in my hair. His lips on mine. My legs around his waist. All of it was right there in his eyes. He leaned in and I knew it was going to happen right now, when a loud shrilling noise interrupted us.

It was my cell-phone. His look darkened and I pulled myself up onto my feet carefully, as I reached for my bag.

"It's just my mum." I said and pulled it out, falling onto the bed, sitting on the edge.

"Hello?"

"Harleen!" She yelled so loudly I had to hold the phone away from my ear for a moment. "You better move your butt to Bruce's house right now! What on earth are you saying, you won't marry him?! Is there another man?! How dare you– "

"Mum!" I had to yell too, so she could hear me. "Bruce beats me, ok?! I had to break it off before he killed me."

"That's nonsense!" She snapped. "He could never hurt anyone. He is so crushed right now, Harley. You have no idea how badly you hurt him, after all he's been through, how dare you do this – "

"Mum!" I cried out. "He's the one hurting me, he broke my ribs!"

"Well you must have led him to it." Mum sounded frustrated, as if this my fault in all of this was clear as day. "Is there another man? What do you expect?! You can't sleep around and then expect him to carry on treating you as well as he did. Just try harder Harley, how difficult can it be to make him happy?!"

I couldn't stop myself from crying and sobbed: "Mummy, you don't –"

"Do you know what this means for me?!" She continued. "Are you going to take care of me when I'm older? With that minimum wage of yours? Did you even think about this?! What will people say about us? They will call you a slut, they–"

Mr. J had taken the phone from me and had hang up. His arms encircled me as I fell forward against him, sobbing my heart out harder than ever before. Again he said nothing because he understood that there was nothing to say. That I had lost the love of my life and my mother in one evening.

"Mothers are totally overrated." He whispered as he wiped away my tears. "I didn't have a real Mum either and look at how great I turned out."

I laughed because we'd met in a psychiatric facility for the insane.

"You're going to be ok, Harley." He promised. "You don't need them."

I nodded, willing to believe it.

"Say it."

"I don't need them."

He grinned. "Louder."

"I don't need them!"

Mr. J stepped back, pulling me to my feet. "Say it again, baby."

"I don't need them!" I yelled now and felt it as I said it, felt the freeing sensation of it. "I don't need them! Those fucking, lying, selfish bastards! I don't need them! I don't–" My hand flew to my mouth as nausea swept up over me.

"Harley?" He stepped forward and I rushed past him into the bathroom, throwing up all the beloved food I'd been craving just half an hour ago.

"I'll call the doctor!" He called from outside and I heard a hint of panic in his voice.

"Don't bother." I croaked from inside, straightening up and washing my mouth with water. My heart had sank into my stomach, because I knew exactly what was wrong.

"This is serious." He came inside. "You might have a concussion."

"I haven't." I promised, because I'd had a suspicion for a while now.

He gave me an amused look. "The tomato juice was too much, wasn't it?"

I shook my head, took a deep breath and finally said my fears out loud: "Mr. J. I think I'm pregnant."

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