Chapter 11: In Need Of Support
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Being back in the monastery felt strange, her body was still on edge since returning from her mission a few days ago. Rhea had already briefed them on the details for their next mission. At the very least, it was on the monastery's grounds, that had hardly comforted her though. Rhea had also asked her to meet up with her as soon as she was free. For what reason Balaiya was still unsure, but she had an idea. Catherine had seen her throw blood up, and as far as she knew she hadn't been injured at the time. No doubt she mentioned it to Rhea. She could always claim it was from an injury that she had gotten before they confronted Lonato…
In the meantime, she had been doing her best to rest, however resting had proven useless, she kept thinking back to what she couldn't do for Lonato, for Ashe. So she decided she'd make use of the time and try and form some sort of lesson plan for class. She threw off her blankets and lit a candle on her desk.
Sothis appeared beside her and watched in silence for a long time. Balaiya thought she heard birds chirping when she finally spoke.
"Tell me, why did you push yourself so much? You can't be doing this every time you know." Sothis said quietly. "I wanted to give you time to rest before I asked you for details… but seeing as how you are not doing much of that…"
Balaiya sighed and crossed out yet another lesson plan that she had been trying to revise throughout the night. "I'm sorry Sothis… obviously I don't need to explain the first time…" She closed her eyes as images of Annette getting hit by the arrow pushed its way to the front of her mind. "The other times? I… I wanted to try and save Lonato, for Ashe." She grit her teeth. "But every time I tried I… things just got worse." She scribbled out another paragraph. "The worst part is, I can't even tell Dimitri how hard I truly tried…He sounded so broken over it… I can't think of what I could do to comfort him. "
Sothis sighed and patted her back gently. "The best advice that I can give you Bala-can I call you that too?" She tilted her head.
Balaiya smiled slightly and nodded. "Sure, why not?"
"Ahem, like I was saying, the best advice I can give you Bala, is to keep in mind. Some things are bound by fate."
Balaiya frowned. "Bound by fate?"
Sothis shifted and crossed her legs in the air. "Like… meant to be. Inevitable."
"What makes you say that?"
"Well… I'm not quite sure. It's just a feeling." She tapped the side of her cheek in thought.
Sighing, Balaiya stood and moved over to the calendar on her wall. "I should talk to Leth later, find out how Dimitri is handling everything. And Ashe…" She frowned. "I wonder how Claude is doing…"
"Perhaps you should check in on him?" Sothis suggested.
"I guess I could…" Her frown depended. "Oh, I didn't even realize I missed another birthday…" She mumbled to herself. The tack she placed on the first for Caspar's birthday some time ago still in place.
Sothis sighed. "If you must, get him some goodies or something then."
"Perhaps I could get him some training materials…" She sighed and rubbed her temples. "The goddess's rite of rebirth is on the twenty sixth?... thats my birthday." She frowned, not that she really cared how she spent it but, she would have preferred to at least been able to relax…maybe go for a walk with her brother and father, she glanced over the calendar again. Her eyes lit up. "Claude's birthday is just three days before?" She turned to Sothis. "His birthday is this month too. It's unfortunate it's so close to the mission day... I might not have enough to spare to get them both a gift…"
"Just give Caspar some flowers then. Aren't you growing some in the greenhouse? If you're going to get anything it should be for Claude's Birthday."
"Oh, right I am. I could do that." She sighed and stretched, stifling a yawn. "I'll go do that now then…but what about Leth?"
Sothis sighed. "Uh, well work hard during the mission. Maybe Rhea will give you more funds as a reward. Though you never really got each other much any way. Am I right?"
"Um, we never had a need for material pleasures."
"Precisely my point."
"I could bake a cake for him I suppose…" She sighed and left the room.
The walk to the greenhouse was especially quiet in the early morning and she yawned more than once.
"You really need to start sleeping more often Bala." Sothis said beside her. "It's not good for your health."
"I know, but I've only been up twenty-four hours…" She mumbled quietly as she walked past the gardener.
"Need I remind you again not to push yourself?" She grumbled. She crossed her arms then yawned herself. "Look, now you've gone and gotten me tired. I think I'll take a nap now. Don't forget to check on our deer now." She grinned to herself before she vanished.
Balaiya shook her head, a faint amused smile tugging at her lips. It seems even Sothis was getting wrapped up in the puns. Balaiya scanned her plot briefly but couldn't quite figure out which flowers to pick for Caspar. Instead of mulling over it for too long she decided to go the simple route. She'd just color code it.
She picked the first bunch of bluish flowers she had, forget me nots. 'Alright, I guess I can go check to see if he's still in his room. Surely it's not too early to visit now that the sun is out.'
On her way to the dorms she hummed a quiet tune to herself, one that she quickly realized she didn't know where she'd heard it.
"Maybe it was from a dream?" She wondered aloud. "Oh, but I haven't dreamt in such a long time…" She sighed and stopped when she reached the top of the staircase. "Huh, I haven't actually been up here before. Gosh, I hope his name is on the door like they are for the students downstairs."
When she finally found his room she gave the door a few gentle taps. She didn't want to wake anyone if they were still asleep. After a few moments of waiting he still didn't answer the door. 'He could have left already I suppose… though there's still some time before they serve breakfast. He could also be asleep.' She sighed and left to find Claude's room.
'Wow, he's got Lorenz and Felix for neighbors? It's a wonder how he's so cheerful every morning…' She frowned. 'It could also be a front as well…' Sighing, she switched the bundle of flowers to her other hand and knocked gently on his door.
A few moments of silence went by and she was just about to leave when she heard movement behind his door. 'Maybe he's busy. I shouldn't bother him.' Even so, she was already knocking again.
"Ah, Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, if that's you again I'm going to have to accidentally t-"
"It's me, Claude." She said before realizing that to him, she could be anybody. Facepalming, she took another breath to clarify herself.
"Hey, Teach! Hold on a minute, okay? I'm gonna have this cleared up in no time." Something crashed and she heard him mutter something unrecognizable under his breath. Concern seeped into her chest.
"Are you alright?" She bit her lip and experimentally turned the doorknob. To her surprise it clicked right open, so she walked right in. He had his back to her and he was leaning over a bunch of vials and books. "Do you need any help?" She silently noted the loose white tunic he wore, she'd never seen him in white before. Could that possibly be his nightshirt? She felt her cheeks prick with heat. She had just barged right in after all, even after he said he'd get to the door in a minute.
"Nah, that's OK. I'll be finished soon. I'm just in the middle of mixing up a new poison." He said nonchalantly.
Balaiya blinked a few times, thrown off by how casually he admitted that to her. "A new poison?"
"Yup, I came across a fascinating book about poisons, and so I wanted to try mixing one up myself."
"Oh." She mumbled, and cast her eyes to the side in case he wanted privacy. Despite the fact that she could just leave his room, she didn't. Instead she glanced around his room. There were books everywhere, on every surface, even his bed. She silently wondered if he actually slept on them. Right on his pillow she saw Shai curled up in a tiny ball, asleep. She smiled to herself and gently pet the top of her head with one finger. By the foot of his bed, his boots were tossed haphazardly in a heap. Signing she crouched down to straighten them, but they were so worn out they no longer stood on their own, so she leaned them against the bed.
She half expected his room to smell like the library did, what with so many books littering the room, but it was far from it. Strangely enough, his room smelled like warmth, and gentle spices. Even though the books took up so much space she felt no where near crowded, rather snug and relaxed.
"Aaand…done!" He turned around suddenly, a vial in his hand.
She startled out of her reverie, her eyes widening.
"What do you think of that, Teach? A colorless, odorless poison! Say…care to test it out for me?" A grin split his face and he waved the vial in her face with a wink.
She eyed the vial for a moment then looked back at his face. "Sure." She reached for the bottle.
"Whoa, really?!" He pulled his hand away before she could grab the vial. "Heh, actually, I was just kidding."
"Why?" She tilted her head.
"Ya serious, Teach? I did call it poison for a reason."
She watched him curiously for a moment. "I trust you. I doubt you'd offer me something deadly anyway."
"Ha… I just didn't expect you to agree…"
"Well, what does it do?" She crossed her arms.
He scratched the back of his head. "Right, uh… If you drink this, in two days' time you'll have terrible, um…let's call it stomach trouble."
Balaiya rose an eyebrow. "Why the delay?"
"That's so it can be used even if you don't have access to the target when you need the poison to take effect. Um, naturally, I have no immediate plans for this stuff! I suppose I just felt like broadening the ol' horizons a bit. When devising schemes, it's best to have as many options at your disposal as possible. Expanding those options is kind of a hobby for me." He set the vial on his desk and dragged the chair over and sat in it backwards, with his elbows resting on the back of it. "Oh, excuse my mess, Teach. Please have a seat." He gestured to his bed.
She shook her head. "No, it's fine. Really. I don't mind at all actually." She gingerly sat in the corner of his bed, doing her best not to disturb anything.
He laughed lightly. "C'mon, Teach. Make yourself comfortable. You won't break anything."
After a moment of consideration she sighed and moved the books over before scooting to the middle of the bed. Once she was settled she placed the flowers on her lap. "So, why such a dangerous hobby?" She didn't miss the intense way he watched her, and she was starting to wonder if she really should leave.
After a moment he answered, but his voice was much lower than she was expecting. "Well, I grew up in an environment where it was necessary to think that way. It's like I told you before, I wasn't born into a life of luxury. Ever since I was a child, I've always been seen as…different from those around me." He started drumming his fingers on the back of the chair. "An outsider of sorts. I've been resented and hated. There have even been attempts on my life. I don't believe I've earned such treatment, but that's how it goes for people like me…" He glanced to the side, his fingers twisting in the sleeve of his shirt.
She had been watching him so carefully, she could see how tightly his jaw was clenched, the strain in his neck. Whatever memories that had surfaced were causing him some kind of pain. She felt her chest burn. There were a thousand different things she wanted to say, wanted to ask, but couldn't find the words.
"I don't think of you as an outsider." She eventually mumbled.
A slight smile tugged at the corner of his lips "Thanks, Teach. You know, in many ways I'm just a normal person like everyone else. But in the right environment, anyone could be seen as an outsider. It can become…overwhelming. That's why I kept running. Kept fighting." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "As a kid I spent a lot of time licking my wounds and coming up with schemes, trying to keep my nose out of trouble while plotting against my enemies."
"What about your parents? Didn't they ever help you with these people? Those that wronged you?" She asked quietly.
"My parents always told me I wouldn't grow stronger if I didn't learn to fight my own battles." He had a far away look in his eyes. "And so, in the end, I did. And I grew up to be as independent and self-reliant as my parents always wished for me to be. Lucky me, right?"
Balaiya frowned, his parents didn't protect him from life threatening dangers? She held the side of her face in thought. He never said that though, just that his parents wanted him to learn to fight his own battles. To protect himself. In a way it reminded her of her own childhood. Her father had never been the most delicate parent, but he was certainly protective. He was all she knew and she wouldn't trade that for the world. He made her who she is today, a strong independent fighter.
"You've been through a lot, but I think you grew up well Claude. Your parents should be proud of you." She did her best to give him a smile and was surprised by how easily it touched her face.
He stared back at her for a moment then offered her a slight one in return. Though it was small, she could have sworn it radiated warmth. So much so she felt it in her stomach.
"If anyone knows what I'm talking about, it must be you. Eh, Teach? I get the feeling you know what it's like to be an outsider."
She nodded slowly. "Yes, I suppose I do. I never quite fit in anywhere outside of my Mercenary troop. Even to them I was always… strange. And now… I'm loathe to admit I still struggle here. Though I was lucky to have my brother and father by my side."
He scooted the chair closer to her. "I think you're doing great, Teach. Besides, you still have them by your side… and now you have me." He winked. "Ya know, the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew you weren't like everyone else. People don't care for folks like that… You'd do well to watch your back. On the bright side, that's also part of the reason that I find you so interesting."
She rose an eyebrow. "Oh?"
He grinned. "Yup, and hey, since I've told you some more about me… I'd love to hear more about you."
"Well, I suppose that's fair… what would you like to know?"
"Hmm, what's your fondest memory?"
She blinked at him. "Hmm, I don't know. I don't really think about my childhood much…" She shook her head. "I was expecting something more direct."
He laughed and scooted the chair closer again. "Okay, fine. How about… that dagger?" He gestured to it with his head. "Where'd you get it?"
"Oh, this?" She unsheathed the dagger. "My Father gave it to me and a matching one to my brother when we turned ten. It was our first real weapon. He said he got them in some far away land when he was young."
His eyes lit up and he held his hand out. "May I?"
She hesitated for a moment, she'd never let anyone, anyone, touch it since she got it. But… this was Claude, it wasn't like he'd run off with it. Besides, he'd already handled it before without a problem…her throat tightened with the memory. So after another moment of chewing the inside of her cheek she took a deep breath and gently placed the dagger in his waiting hand.
The moment the weapons cool blade touched his palm he smiled brilliantly. She could only stare in silence. He quickly brought it closer to his face to inspect it.
Balaiya felt her stomach twist when he looked up at her from underneath his lashes. Why were they so long?...
"Hey, Teach? When is your birthday anyway?"
She forced a laugh though it came out airy and strangled. "Isn't that an impolite question to ask a lady?"
He smirked. "Nice try Teach, but no. I mean, as far as I'm aware. The noble ladies dislike revealing their age. Besides, I'm sure you already have all my personal info on you. What with you being a teacher and all."
"Oh, I see. Ha, well… I guess you're right. I don't mind I suppose… Well, I'll be twenty this year. My birthday is on the twenty sixth of…"
He started to run his finger down the dagger's blade. "Of?"
Balaiya watched him with slight concern, the blade was extremely sharp.
He looked back up at her. "Well?"
She bit her lip. She didn't want him worrying over her birthday when it fell so inconveniently on their mission date. Not to mention it was so close to his. After a moment she stood, and held her hand out for him to give the dagger back. "That's a secret." She locked her eyes with his and after a second she winked.
She didn't know what possessed her to do that but the next few things that happened, happened so quickly she stood for a moment in shock.
Claude's eyes widened and his cheeks were suddenly dusted the faintest of pinks. Somehow his hand slipped and the blade cut across his fingers. He jumped and quickly inspected the cuts. Blood already began to seep out of them. "Haha, oops." He smiled sheepishly.
"Claude!" She muttered though her teeth. "Why did- how, ugh." She sighed and set the flowers on his desk and snatched the weapon away. After she placed it in it's holster she swiped his injured hand into her own. "You know, I was going to warn you about touching the blade. But then I thought oh he's not careless enough to let himself get cut." She deadpanned at him. "Apparently you are." She took a deep breath and willed her healing magic forward.
"Guess we're both full of surprises, Teach." He murmured.
Balaiya shook her head and focused on the spell. She really liked the way the energy of the healing spell was so gentle, it calmed her even though she was the one performing it. She wondered if the same calming effect was experienced by others as well, or even by those who were getting healed. She would have to ask Rhea about that when she saw her later.
She focused the energy on his hand overall, then carefully inspected each of his fingers to make sure she didn't miss anything. She was vaguely aware her hands were covered in blood at this point, but she wasn't bothered.
Wordlessly he handed her a cloth and she took it and wiped his hand down.
Curiosity started tempting her the longer she held his hand in hers. His fingers looked pretty rough, though she already knew he trained a lot. She was no stranger to blood and scars, but her hands didn't look like this. Her father always made sure she was properly geared up. Her hands were calloused, yes, but not scarred the way his were.
She lightly traced an old scar that ran up his index finger. Could she possibly heal old wounds? She knew from experience that scars could sometimes cause discomfort, if she could at least lessen the mark, she'd be satisfied.
After a few moments she smoothed her thumbs out across his palm, once then twice. There were so many small nicks and scratches in his skin and she took the time to trace each one she discovered. She wondered what kind of stories lay hidden beneath them, she wanted to know, no matter how insignificant they might seem. He'd mentioned that he started using the bow at four. What was the reason behind that? He also just mentioned there had been attempts on his life, when had that started? Was that something that happened to those of a similar status? Or was it just because he was the heir to House Reigan? That couldn't be right, he said he'd only become aware of his mother's heritage this year…
Just where did he come from? Where did he grow up? Was his father from the Empire? Or the Kingdom?
There were so many questions she had, and the more she learned about him the more questions she thought of.
She turned her gaze back over to his face. He had his eyes downcast, no doubt watching her fingers press into his skin. He had just a few strands of loose waves touching his brows. She had the urge to touch his hair, though she'd invaded that space before when she first healed him. She couldn't remember anything about the feel of it… She frowned. Invaded?
Suddenly she was hyper aware of how odd she was being. His cut had long since healed by now. There was no reason for her to be touching him anymore. She suddenly released his hand and wiped her own hands on the cloth before setting it aside.
His hand dropped heavily to his side and he looked up at her quickly. What looked like confusion filled his face. And something else she couldn't name.
Unfortunately his face was now also leaning on the red side. She frowned and impulsively placed her hand on his forehead, she took the chance to gently brush the hair from his face… "Are you feeling alright?" He felt pretty warm. She bit her lip, she didn't coat the blade with poison… did she?
He laughed, but it sounded forced. Strained. "Of course. I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
His voice came out close to a whisper. "As the day follows the night." After a moment she felt his brow furrow. "Are you feeling alright? You looked a little worse for wear during the mission…"
She couldn't tell what was warmer, his skin or the burn in her chest. Or was it her own hand that was feeling… clammy? She dropped her hand from his forehead and hurriedly stepped away from him, suddenly feeling the need to leave.
"I'm fine. Let me know if you feel faint or something." She grabbed the bouquet and opened the door. "I'll see you in class." She turned to leave but stopped just outside the doorway. 'I never even asked him if he was struggling over the mission.' She turned around quickly. "Claude how have y-" She nearly ran into his chest. Just when had he stood up?
"Wait, Teach! Oh, haha sorry." He took a step back and leaned on the door frame. He cleared his throat loudly. "Soo, what's with the flowers?"
She blinked up at him then at the flowers in her hand. "They're for Caspar. I missed his birthday."
His brows furrowed again, she wanted to smooth them out. Why was she suddenly so… handsy around him? It was a terrible habit she needed to crush. Now.
"Oh, really? Why are you giving flowers to a guy like Caspar?"
She shrugged. "Why not?"
"Why flowers?"
She frowned. "I just said because I missed his birthday…"
"I just don't think he'd appreciate them." He frowned as well.
"Really?" She bit her lip. "Oh…" She looked down at the bouquet. Perhaps she shouldn't give them to him after all.
"Why Forget me nots anyway?"
"Because… they're bluish?... Like his hair." She suddenly felt silly.
"Oh."
Her frown deepened, for some reason there was a lot of tension in the air. She didn't like it. She felt like punching something. Could she be the one causing it? She was being… strange earlier… Perhaps she should apologise.
"Is it weird to give guys flowers or something?" She didn't think it was weird, after all, Sothis was the one that suggested it… though perhaps she shouldn't be taking advice like that from a girl no one but her brother and herself could see or hear…
"What? Well… I didn't say that…" He twisted the braid beside his face around his finger and mumbled something she couldn't hear.
"Well, what would you give someone as a gift if you were low on funds?"
After a moment he let out a puff of air and mumbled. "I'd uh, probably make something…"
"Well… I did grow these myself." She smiled down at the flowers. "I'm quite proud of these… I was hoping he'd appreciate them too…" Her face fell. "But, if you think it's a dumb idea then I gue-"
He shook his head urgently. "No, don't worry about it, Teach. I'm sure he'd appreciate anything you give him…" He went back to fidgeting with the braid.
She observed him for a moment then plucked out a single bloom from the modest bouquet. She looked up at him with a small smile and tucked the stem into the crossed ties at the collar of his tunic. "That's good to know. I'll see you later then." She stared at the tiny flower intensely for a few moments, some kind words he'd once said to her, what felt like forever ago resurfaced.
"You know…If you ever want to talk...I'm here to listen. Anytime, anywhere, for any reason. Your secrets are safe with me " She patted his chest a few times and smiled once more before escaping down the hall. Glad to have left the awkward atmosphere.
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Balaiya decided she'd check the dining hall first, then the training field. Caspar had to be in one of those two places since he hadn't been in his room.
When she walked in the dining hall she thankfully didn't have to look long before spotting him. He was apparently having some sort of eating competition with Raphael.
"Caspar, please. There's no way you're going to win." Hilda said from her seat beside him. "If you get food in my hair I'm going to punch those injuries of yours."
"Gah, vhy vould you oo that Hilta? You jus bandaged tem for me." He asked with a mouth full of food.
"I win!" Raphael exclaimed and slammed an empty bowl on the table.
"Oh man! Not again!" Caspar groaned.
Balaiya sighed and walked over to him. "Caspar, you need to be careful with..." She gestured to the food on the table. "...this. You don't want to get sick now, do you?"
"No… I don't." He sighed.
"I think you should be careful. You don't want to hurt yourself." She held the bouquet out. "Here, I'm sorry I missed your birthday. Happy Belated."
He gaped at her silently.
Hilda gasped dramatically. "Flowers!?"
Balaiya frowned. "Yeah?"
Caspar grinned widely and took the flowers from her. "Thanks Professor! That's so nice of you! Look Hilda! They match my hair!" He snickered.
She smiled. "You're welcome. I have to get to class now." She grabbed an apple from the hall to take with her.
Hilda followed her out. "Hey Professor? Why flowers?"
"Why not?"
Hilda chewed her lip. "Uh, well. Caspar isn't a very girly person Professor."
Balaiya glanced over at her. "Guys don't have to be girly to appreciate a pretty flower." She unlocked the classroom and propped the doors open. "Since you're here already you might as well stay. Class will start in about ten minutes anyway."
Hilda sighed and grumbled to herself. "Fine…" She took her seat.
After a few minutes the rest of the class filed in and took their seats, strangely enough Claude walked in late and took a seat in the back to avoid disrupting the class. She still noticed him slip in and stared at him in silent curiosity. He definitely couldn't use overslept as an excuse for his tardiness.
She sighed and knocked on the desk to get everyone's attention. "Okay, listen up everyone. We've been asked to provide additional assistance in guarding the monastery during the Goddesses Rite of Rebirth at the end of this moon. I want everyone to review their training plans with me so I can see what you need to work on. Before we get started though, I want everyone to understand something." She took a deep breath. "I know we just got back from another mission just a few days ago. Everyone has suffered. Everyone needs time to heal. I want you all to know that if you ever feel overwhelmed, let me know. I'll do what I can to help. In general I'm going to take the first week easy. No major assignments or tests. You guys can take the extra time this week to rest. After I meet with everyone individually then you can leave for the day."
She moved to the other side of her desk and sat down, opening her journal to review the notes she took on the students. "Come on up when you're ready."
The students shifted through their papers for a bit when suddenly Leonie and Lysithea were racing each other down the aisle.
"Professor! I have a request!' Lysithea nearly elbowed Leonie to get in front of her. "I have been considering focusing my combat studies solely on the use of dark magic. I believe I am more useful as an offensive mage anyway."
Balaiya considered her for a moment, her hand holding the side of her face. "I hear you, but considering how I feel things will only get harder from here… I think you should at least try out some healing magic. Even if that's the only spell you learn. It will help."
Lysithea nodded thoughtfully. "You're right. Thanks Professor." She wrote down some notes.
"Oh, Lysithea. I also recommend that you learn some proficiency with some sort of weapon. You never know if one day your magic may fail you."
"Uhh… I can try the bow?"
"Sure." She signed some papers and handed them to her.
"Thank you Professor." She left the room quietly.
Leonie stepped forward next. "Alright Professor, I want to start learning horseback combat, so I can be just like Captain Jeralt!"
Balaiya sighed. "Alright, I don't see why not. I do want you to spend most of your time on your lance and archery skills though. Our mission this month is within the monastery, we can't exactly bring horses indoors."
Leonie sighed. "Ugh, right… got it Professor."
"I'll sign you up for one class a week for now. You'll take care of the stables on Saturdays for at least an hour after your riding class for the day is finished." Balaiya handed her some papers.
"Thank you Professor." She grabbed her things and left.
Next to come up was Ignatz and Raphael, Ignatz being the one to ask the most questions. In the end, he walked out with new papers to sign up for Manuela's light magic classes.
Balaiya decided to keep everyone else's studies the same for the time being, save for Sylvain who also insisted he learn horseback riding. She finished listening to his reasoning and after deeming them coherent enough she handed him his confirmation papers. "Alright then, I guess you'll be joining Leonie on Saturdays."
"Thanks Professor!" Sylvain grinned and fell into step beside her. "Soo, what are you going to do with your free time?"
Balaiya glanced over to him and sighed. "Well, I was planning on stopping by the market to check over our supplies for the rest of this moon…" She held the side of her face in thought. 'Maybe I can check to see if they have anything Claude might like for his birthday…'
"Mind if I accompany you?" he asked.
"Oh," she looked back over at him. "sure, why not?"
"Awesome!" He swung his arm around her shoulders. "It's a date then."
She frowned and slipped out from under his hold. "Um, no. I'm not allowed to be doing things like that with students. It's unprofessional."
He wagged his eyebrows at her. "What things? Go on, you can tell me. I'm pretty sure we're both adults here. I won't tell anyone." He leaned down and whispered in her ear. "I promise I'm a good secret keeper."
A shiver sped down her spine. She frowned and felt her hand twitch. She saw herself punching whatever part of him was closest. "Don't be inappropriate Sylvain."
He laughed. "Aw, don't be like that Professor. I was only joking…" He scratched the back of his head. "But! If you weren't bound by that silly rule you'd totally go out with me, right?"
She blinked at him. "Sylvain, I don't think I'm going to answer that." She stepped away from him but he closed the distance again. She felt her back hit the stone behind her.
"Okay, okay. If you insist…" He cupped the swell of her cheek in his hand. His thumb brushed her skin gently. She felt warmth invade her chest and seep into her stomach. "But if you're ever feeling lonely, or bored… I can give you as much comfort and entertainment as you could ever wan-."
Balaiya felt a rush of air tousle her hair and suddenly he was being held by the back of his collar by none other than her father. A terrified look on his face, while Jeralt had a mask of false sweetness. One that she instantly recognized as one he had when threatening enemies. Before a fight.
"Hello there Mr. Guatier. How are you this morning?" Jeralt said, his grip tightened on Sylvain's shirt.
Sylvain's eyes widened and his voice cracked at the end. "C-Captain JerALT!"
Balaiya frowned. "Father, why?"
Jeralt stared at her blankly. "Oh, hello Bala. I'm just asking this young man how his day has been going."
"Let him go Father. He didn't do anything." She took a deep breath as her pulse calmed.
"He looked too close to you for any proper gentleman." Jeralt frowned.
"Father, let him go." She held his gaze for a few heavy moments.
"Hmph." Jeralt sent a frosty glare towards Sylvain and practically tossed him to the ground. "I'm not afraid to shove my foot up your ass boy."
"But you won't." Balaiya said sternly and stepped between them.
Sylvain scrambled to his feet and took a handful of steps away.
Jeralt sighed and crossed his arms. "Balaiya, I came over to ask you how your mission went."
"The students are alright… no major injuries." She sighed. She knew he wanted to ask more questions, most likely about what happened to her, but she didn't want to talk about it now. She didn't know what she would say. Besides, she'd not gotten the chance yet to speak to her brother yet. On top of that, she completely blew Claude off when he asked about her well being. Her chest tightened, why did she feel so guilty?
She turned back to her father. "I have to run some errands, Sylvain was helping me actually. I can talk to you some more later." She gestured for Sylvain to follow and hurriedly walked off towards the market.
They walked in relative silence for the rest of the way to the market and Balaiya nearly forgot that Sylvain had joined her. She was too wrapped up in her own thoughts while at the same time trying to desperately to think about nothing.
The market was relatively crowded today, a result of the merchants flaunting out their new goods from All across Fódlan and beyond. Normally she wasn't easily distracted but something on one of the stalls caught her eye. She hurried over to the stall.
"Hello little lady! How can I help you?" The merchant said.
Balaiya ignored him for a moment, instead she leaned in to inspect the pair of boots on the stand.
"Ooh, these look so nice, Bala." Sothis said beside her.
She nodded to herself. "Yeah…"
"Do you not think that our dear Claude will appreciate them?" She inspected them closely. From what I recall, they appear to be his size too." She clapped her hands together. "Oh, you must get them."
Balaiya leaned in to look at the price. "Oh…" they were definitely on the expensive side. She didn't even have anything she was willing to barter them for either.
"You like those Miss? I'll have you know they're worth every penny! They're handmade and the best quality around! You won't find something like this just anywhere in Fódlan!"
She sighed and chewed the inside of her cheek. She really shouldn't spend her money on something like this…
"How about, you get the boots and then you can take on some little jobs here and there to make up for the cost?" Sothis said.
"Like?" Balaiya asked her quietly.
She shrugged. "I do not know, you can ask Rhea or her advisor. With a place this big, there's bound to be someone willing to pay a little extra coin for some help."
"I guess you're right… but why do you care about it so much?" She mumbled.
Sothis placed her hand on her chest and gasped. "How could I not? I told you I see and experience the world through you. It's only logical that I would come to care for the students. Don't you?"
"Of course I do, I was just asking." She said quietly then looked up at the confused merchant. "I'll take them."
He grinned. "Great! I'll put them in this nice box for you free of charge." He grabbed the boots and put them in a shiny black box.
"Oh, thank you." Balaiya took the box after handing him the money.
"Anything for the pretty lady." He winked.
She felt a frown tug down on her face. "Anything but a discount I guess." She mumbled and briskly walked away.
"Ooh I am so excited to see the look on his face." Sothis said.
Balaiya glanced at her. "Why?"
Sothis crossed her arms. "Why not?"
Balaiya sighed and shook her head. "Where'd Sylvain go?" She looked around the market until she spotted him a few stalls away talking to a girl.
"You think I'd cheat? On you, baby? Never. Come on, you should know me better than that. You're the only one for me. I swear. Hey, if ya don't believe me, well... Oh, I get it. If I'm not your type, do you want me to introduce you to some other guys who have Crests? They're all nobles, just like me."
The girls eyes widened. "What?! That isn't why I'm - You - You're worse than I thought!"
Sylvain shook his head and sighed. "I just want you to be happy. You know, get what you're after. I hate seeing a girl cry, especially one as beautiful as you. So you know, maybe we…"
"Save it!" The girl yelled and ran off.
"... So, Professor, do you enjoy spying on people? You look like you've got something to say. So say it."
Balaiya frowned and walked up to him. "Spying? I was looking for you. You're the one who asked to come with me."
"Ha, right…sorry." He scratched the back of his head. "I got… distracted."
She adjusted the box under her arm. "Breaking hearts?"
Sylvain scowled suddenly. "Weren't you listening? I'm on her side! She knows that. But you know how it is. Most relationships, they end in heartbreak. Anyway, I don't know why she's so upset about me dating other girls."
"Sylvain, I'm no way near an expert on this… but usually when people um… date, isn't it an exclusive thing?"
"Not necessarily, besides she didn't care before she found out, why does she care now?"
"Did you ever um… tell her you weren't looking for a serious relationship?"
"Well… I don't recall telling her it was. I really do hate seeing a girl cry."
"Is that true?"
"Come on. It's hard on me too! If only I had someone to comfort me. Professor? It's OK if you want to console me... I happen to have some exquisite tea back in my quarters. You could come by, and...we could chat about love."
"Um… I'm not sure it's a good idea for me to go to a students room…" Even as she said this, she felt her cheeks burn. She just was in a student's room… she probably shouldn't do that again.
"Is that a blush Professor? Aw, red looks very becoming on you. Lucky me, I got red hair." He smirked. "How about it, Teach? Want to know what it looks like to have red on other parts of you?" He reached for her face again.
Balaiya frowned deeply and grabbed his wrist before he could touch her again. She squeezed him tightly. "Excuse me? What did you just insinuate?" She asked calmly, her lips pressed into a thin line. It dawned on her that he had addressed her differently. Casually, the way Claude always did. For some reason it made her feel… odd. She couldn't exactly scold him for calling her that, since Claude did so often. But she didn't think she liked the tone that he used. It was too… heavy?
Sylvain hissed in pain suddenly. "Calm down-it was only a joke! You've really got no sense of humor, you know that?"
Balaiya's eyes widened and she released him quickly. "Oh! I… I didn't…Are you okay?"
He straightened and rubbed his wrist. "Yeeaah, I guess I shouldn't get on your bad side, huh?"
"I deserve some respect as your Professor Sylvain, am I wrong for that?" She resisted the urge to inspect his wrist.
He shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. Haha, just forget this happened. Oh! Want me to carry that box for you?"
She turned the box away from him. "No, I got this. You can carry the other supplies." She walked ahead to the armory. "That way, you can keep your hands busy. I'd hate to see my Father cripple you with his bare hands." She called over her shoulder.
Thankfully he kept a normal distance the rest of the shopping trip. So she decided to give him the courtesy of forgetting it ever happened.
When she had finished re-supplying everything she deemed necessary she turned back to Sylvain. "Can you take that stuff down to where the convoy is loaded?"
He nodded. "Sure thing, Professor." He hurried off.
Balaiya sighed dramatically when she was finally alone. She was feeling a little winded, and was definitely hungry. She hoped there was still hot food left over in the dining hall. 'After I get something to eat, I might as well look for Leth so I can speak to him. Explain myself, yet again. Oh I should put this box in my room first.' She sighed louder and left for her room.
.
.
When she finally did make it to the dining hall it was relatively empty since the lunch hour had ended, however she did spot her brother in a corner so she went to sit across from him. She was glad she didn't have to look for him now, though when she finally sat down she noticed something strange on the table beside him.
"Hey, Leth… why do you have a tea set beside you?"
He rubbed his temples. "Ferdinand shoved it into my arms. Said he somehow ended up with two of the same set and asked me to find someone to give it too. But it couldn't be just anybody. It had to be someone that really appreciates its value. Thing is, I have no idea who to even give it to."
Balaiya looked over the set. "Well, I can try to give it to Lorenz. He might like it… Actually I'd be shocked if he didn't."
"Oh, right. I didn't think of that. But that'd be great Bala. Thanks." He sighed and shoved a tiny cupcakes in his mouth.
She eyed the rest of the contents on his plate, all of which comprised of sweets. She stole a cookie and bit into it.
He glared at her in silence.
"Are you okay Leth?" She asked quietly.
"Are you?"
"Yes, I already told you I was fine b-"
He clenched his fist tightly. "No, you weren't fine, Bala. You were throwing up blood!" He didn't raise his voice much at all, but it was more than she was used to and she flinched.
"What the hell were you trying to do? I keep trying to remember what happened, but I can't. Not really. I only know that I had the last strike on Lonato…"
"I'm sorry Leth…" She whispered. "I was trying to save Lonato…" She stared down at her hands. "The first time we faced him, Catherine… she… she beheaded him. His head rolled down the small hill and stopped by Ashe's feet." She grit her teeth. "I couldn't just let that happen. Imagine holding Father's head in your hands, 'cause that's what happened. Ashe picked up his head!" She bit her lip. "How is he doing?..."
Byleth finished off a few more of the sweets before answering. "He's… as good as he can be, considering everything. I was in the town market with him earlier today. We caught a thief together. He insisted he go alone but I didn't let him. I made sure the thief was taken in by the knights, and I got him his book back. I tried to ask him how he was handling things but…" He sighed. "I didn't want to ruin his mood. Besides the new curfew he has, he hasn't been punished so I was unsure about bringing things up."
Balaiya nodded. "I'm just glad he's alright. What about Dimitri?"
"He's been training more intensely than usual… I haven't gotten the chance to speak to him yet."
She frowned. "Please let me know when you do."
"I will… Bala, you can't be using this strange power all the time. We don't even know the long term side effects… it could kill you." He frowned deeply. "How exactly do you expect me to handle that? If something were to happen to you?"
"I know, I just…" She felt her chest tighten when images of his death assaulted her.
"Not to mention people might get suspicious… You didn't tell Claude anything did you? He didn't look all that shocked when you almost passed out."
She shook her head quickly. "I didn't tell him anything about Sothis or her power. Promise."
He eyed her for a moment then relaxed. "Good… I know the monastery wants everyone on guard duty but I'm not going to let them slack on training. You shouldn't either."
"I won't."
"We should train more too."
She sighed and stood, grabbing the tray with the tea set. "I know. I'll let you know when I'm free. I'll see you later Leth."
"…Alright, don't strain yourself."
She glanced at him and stole another cookie before hurrying out to find Lorenz.
She found him walking up the steps from near the pier.
"Hello Lorenz, how are you?"
"I suppose I could be worse. Claude is insufferable as always. Can you believe he was so rudely late this morning? I knew he was awake too, I saw him returning to his room when I went for my morning stroll. He had some books in his arms…I mean at least he appeared to be studying and not wasting his time with nonsense. Still, appearing late to class is unacceptable behavior for a proper Noble. I do hope you reprimanded him, Professor."
Balaiya blinked at him a few times. His attitude with Claude always soured her mood. Could he possibly know Claude was potentially only half noble blood? She felt her nose scrunch up, if that was the only reason for his hostility then it was beyond nonsensical.
"Why, this one time he replaced the wonderfully exquisite tea I was having with my lunch with terrible coffee. Ugh." He stuck his nose in the air. "I have no idea why he had his grubby hands on that terrible substance, but I do hope he doesn't like that… horrible stuff. If he does, then well… he might be a heathen after all." He had mumbled the last part but her hearing was sharp, she heard him quite clearly.
"What was that Lorenz?" She frowned.
"Oh, nothing, nothing worry not. I see you have quite the exquisite tea set there! Have you come to invite me to tea?"
"To tea?" She tilted her head. "Erm, no. I was just giving this to you actually. It's from Ferdinand."
Lorenz inspected the set and shook his head. "Ah, unfortunately I already own this, Professor! But you may have it. I'm sure you'd love it, in fact." He placed a small bag on the tray. "That bag contains some of my favorite teas! I encourage you to experience them! Do let me know how you like them, I hope you'll become a fellow tea aficionado!"
"Um, okay then." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 'Guess I'll just take this back to my room…'
She returned to her room and placed the tea set beside her desk. 'I'm so exhausted… I should really get some sleep.'
However after a long time of just laying in her bed, watching the sunlight slowly fade she sat up with an annoyed huff and lit a candle. She placed it on the shelf by the window and her eyes caught the book Manuela had given her.
"I might as well read it…" She mumbled to herself and picked it up.
When she walked into the entrance hall the next day, it was well past noon, though she'd only been up for ten minutes. She was annoyed that she slept away half of her day off. It was also particularly hot today, do she had woken up sweaty. In an attempt to minimize being that way for the rest of the day she pulled on her shorts and a short-sleeved white blouse. Her coat had been moved to hugging her hips, she couldn't bring herself to leave it behind.
She had a headache, and she was hungry but at the same time she was more eager to get back to her book anyway. She had stayed up late reading it and was thoroughly hooked. It was a strange story, the book Manuela had given her. It was filled with adventure and strange creatures she didn't even know if they were real or not. It talked about the ocean in such profound ways she was eager to see it herself. Though she did have some questions for Manuela, like why would the main character not acknowledge what a dedicated friend he had beside him? No matter what he needed, she was always there to assist him. She would appear from thin air at times, as the book phrased it, just to help him with his troubles… Balaiya was troubled by his negligence, if not annoyed.
What she saw in the hall confused her more than anything. All three houses sat at the tables lining the hall. Her brother also stood beside where most of them sat. From the other the of the hall she noticed Shamir approaching them with a strange boy in tow.
Balaiya hurried over to the group. "What's going on?"
"Ah! Teach! I was wondering where you were." Claude grinned.
She stared at him blankly. "What?"
He chuckled. "I said, I was wondering whe-"
"Oh yeah. I heard that…" She glanced to the side. "Uh sorry."
"No problem, Teach!"
"Secret meeting everyone?" Shamir interrupted.
"Greetings Shamir." Dimitri said. "I hope your mission went well."
"Hm, yes it did. I believe my skills could have been best suited with you guys. I'm sorry the mission turned out that way." Shamir said.
Claude shrugged. "We handled it easy enough… considering everything."
Edelgard shook her head. "You shouldn't be so casual about things like that Claude. Traits like that gave the makings of a bad lea-"
"Oh look who it is!" Claude cut her off. He gestured to the kid that had come over with Shamir.
"Hi everyone, I work for Lady Rhea, and I'm Shamir's apprentice! Oh the names, Cyril."
Balaiya turned to him curiously, something about him seemed oddly familiar. But she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Had she seen him around before? "You work for Lady Rhea?" She asked.
He nodded. "Yup, I help Lady Rhea with all kinds of stuff. I've gotta protect Lady Rhea, so that's why I've gotta learn all I can from Shamir."
"Cyril adores Rhea." Shamir said. "That aside, if you guys need anything. Ask. We're here to help."
Byleth turned to her. "Thank you Shamir."
She waved him off. "Don't mention it." She left and Cyril followed her.
The rest of the students dispersed but Balaiya stayed put. Part because she missed the conversation and part because she couldn't help but watch Shamir leave, her eyes trained on the back of Cyril's head. Why did he feel so familiar?
"Bala? Hello?"
She turned to her brother. "Hm?"
"Are you alright?"
"Yes."
He frowned.
"Okay, I'm tired. I stayed up late."
He shook his head. "Well, we're all going to be searching the monastery for information. Later, I'm going to be in the training field if you want to join."
She nodded and he walked off with Dimitri.
"You're not a morning person, huh?" Claude said beside her. Besides herself and some stray students at the tables, he was the only one left in the hall.
"I guess not…" She rubbed her eyes, they felt sore. "My whole body is sore too." She frowned, she wasn't used to vocalizing her complaints, but for some reason they were tumbling out. "I wish I hadn't overslept either, now I've lost out on half my day." She looked up at him to find an amused look in his eyes. "What?"
He shook his head. "It's nothing." A grin spread across his face and he clapped his hands together. "So! To fill you in. We were all talking about the supposed assassination plot. We think it's a decoy. Whoever it is, must be after something else."
"So, they wanted us to find the note? To distract the knights?"
He snapped his fingers. "Exactly. So we're going to split up and look for clues. Anything suspicious really. When you're done, we can meet up somewhere. Compare our findings."
She nodded slowly. "Alright, I guess I'll start on that then." She gave a short wave before heading out of the hall.
She figured she might as well talk to Rhea first before she got too distracted searching the monastery.
She made get way to the Advisory room and found Rhea at her desk.
Balaiya knocked on the doorframe. "Hello Lady Rhea, do you have time to talk?"
Rhea looked up with a smile. "Oh, good afternoon Professor Balaiya, how are you?" She asked her kindly.
"I'm alright, I know you wanted to see me. I'm sorry it took so long, but I also wanted to ask you a few things." Balaiya said.
Rhea shook her head. "Worry not, come. Let us speak somewhere more private if you don't mind." She gestured for her to follow her and left her office.
Balaiya followed her curiously up a flight of stairs she hadn't been aware of.
Rhea lead her into a large bedroom and sat down at a small table in the corner, she gestured for her to sit across from her.
After observing the room for a moment, Balaiya sat down warily.
"This is the first time I have welcomed you here, is it not?" Rhea asked her.
"Um, yes it is." She glanced around again.
"There is no need to be nervous. Please, make yourself at home." She offered her a bowl with spherical chocolates wrapped in silver and gold wrappings. "When you speak with me here in this room, you are not speaking with the archbishop, but with Rhea. It's just me."
Balaiya regarded her for a moment and carefully picked out two gold wrapped ones from the bowl, but she didn't eat them. "I suppose I'm still… a bit nervous." She said.
"Oh, my apologies. I should not be treating you like a child… you don't have to take those if you don't want to." She gestured to the chocolate. "But I assure you it's safe… and quite tasty." She smiled and opened one up and ate it.
"Hmm." Balaiya eyed the sweet for another moment before she unwrapped one and popped it in her mouth. Hey eyes widened slightly, she'd never tasted anything like it before. It was wonderfully smooth and creamy.
Rhea laughed slightly. "Please, take as much as you like."
She didn't want to be selfish, but… she grabbed two more and put them in her pocket.
"Oh, forgive me if you think I'm imposing… As Jeralt's kin, somehow you don't seem at all a stranger to me... Speaking of Jeralt, may I ask if he ever spoke of me to you?" Rhea asked.
Balaiya shifted in her seat, she didn't feel like it was a good idea to tell Rhea her father didn't trust her. Not to mention that he told her not to trust her either…
"Um, he had mentioned once you could be frightening…"
She frowned. "My, but that does sound like something Jeralt would say. However, one would be remiss to not take circumstance into consideration. In order to rise to the role of archbishop, one must maintain an unbiased approach to judgement. It oft requires a certain sternness of words and actions. However... I believe that the person who sits before you now is no longer frightening. At least...that is my hope."
"I haven't a reason to be afraid of you…yet." She said quietly.
"I want you to know that you are free to speak candidly with me. If you ever want to know something, please don't be afraid to ask." Her eyes lit up suddenly. "Oh, Since you are here, shall I tell you about the Jeralt that I knew? By the look of it, you haven't heard much about his time at the monastery, have you?"
Balaiya shook her head. "No, I haven't. Sometimes I feel as if everyone else knows my father more than I."
"I see… I hope my story will help solve that. Well, when I first met Jeralt, he was quite young. Why, he could not even grow a full beard at that point! One fateful occasion, the band of mercenaries he belonged to fought alongside the Knights of Seiros. I was traveling with the knights at the time, and Jeralt jumped in front of an attack meant for me. He was gravely wounded. On the verge of death. I tended to his wounds in a desperate attempt to save his life. Thankfully, my efforts were not in vain. Jeralt managed to escape a seemingly certain death. I made arrangements for him to receive further care at Garreg Mach. The moment he was deemed fully recovered, I invited him to join the knights."
"I didn't know... Thank you for telling me." What could have changed that made her father go from risking his life for someone to distrusting them so strongly? She wasn't sure she should ask Rhea or her father about that.
"Well, it is not a story I have often repeated. Even at the monastery, there are not many who know that. I tell you this because...to me, you are the child of the one who saved my life all those years ago. And also…" Rhea's words wavered faintly at the end.
Balaiya tilted her head. "Yes?"
Rhea shook her head. "Never mind. It is nothing. I simply wanted to say that I trust you. By coming to visit with me today, you have... Well... Suffice to say that my day is brighter than it otherwise would have been. I thank you for that." She stood and Balaiya stood as well. "I'm afraid I must attend a meeting now. Thank you again for speaking with me."
Balaiya moved to the door. "Oh, I'm sorry Lady Rhea, I had a question."
"Yes?"
"Well, you had asked me to come see you."
"Oh, forgive me." She shook her head. "I heard about what happened to you… are you well? Have you been to see Professor Manuela?"
"I feel fine. Really. And I haven't gone to see her. I didn't feel the need. Mercedes healed me up just fine. I think I might have gotten injured prior to the confrontation with Lonato. I did fight a dark mage… perhaps he did something?"
"Hmm, well may I look you over?"
She nodded silently.
Rhea stepped forward and scanned her with her magic, much like she did the first time. Once again, Balaiya felt soothed by the warm energy.
"Oh, I actually wanted to know. The warmth that I feel when I cast healing magic… is that also felt by the person I'm healing? I know I feel it now but… I don't know if that's exclusive to me or not." 'Especially since I'm not like everyone else. I'm not sure what's normal.' She thought to herself.
"Yes actually." Rhea finished and stepped back. "The spell is meant to heal wounds, it accelerates the body's ability to heal. It is the blessed gift of the goddess that allows us to mend wounds in this way. Those who are close to the goddess can feel and produce this extra warmth you speak of. Like an added blessing, a skilled healer may even use it to heal the mind. If you are feeling it too, then the goddess has chosen to smile upon you."
"I see. Thank you Lady Rhea."
"Of course, do be careful from now on. I hate to see you hurt."
"I'll do my best." Balaiya looked over the room once more before leaving to search the monastery.
.
A/N: I'd like to know your opinion on who's class Flayn and Cyril should join. I have an idea, but I want to know what you guys think! It's important to note though, their class choice won't affect what I have in store for them in part two! So don't let that be the deciding factor!