Disclaimer: I Don't own.
A/N Well, here's a little something for your reading pleasures!
I had written this a while ago and deleted it because it didn't sit right with me, So I went over and redid most of this story. And decided a different way to do this. And hopefully it's better than the last at any rate,and I had the idea to make this longer and have some fun with it, or I could leave as is. I don't know. Please enjoy either way.
Warnings: Male/Male between Seifer and Zell language
It was a cold and windy night in Balamb Garden and, one Zell Dincht had just gotten back from a local pub with his friends, whom were all kinda drunk off their asses and, by they time they set foot back into Garden, they were pretty much falling over each other. Squall, however, was too drunk too walk, so he ended up needing to be carried to his room.
"Puhh meeh dunn," came Sqaull's voice, barely legible right now. Trying his best for a glare, only being interrupted by a hiccup that dared to come out.
"You can't even walk!" Zell said, the far more sober of the group. He didn't much like to drink; only on the rare occasions. He wasn't one who could hold his liquor well and he knew it, too.
"Can—can,t-too!" He tried to prove his point by getting out of Zell's arms.
"Fine," Zell put him down and, for a moment, he was wobbly on his feet until…
He fell flat on his face.
"H-ey...hooww I get d-down here?" Squall's muffled voice came from the floor, not really moving because, well, his legs decided to be traitors.
He contemplated just leaving the brunet there, but decided against it, even though it would be kinda funny the next morning,
Sighing, the blond bent down to pick the brunet up again, shifting him so he was able to carry him with ease. Then, he noted, Squall was passed out. Zell snorted.
"He-hey Squallyys' asleeepp," Selphie said, almost falling down herself.
"Yeah," Zell looked at the sleeping figure, shaking his head. It was unusual to see their usually stotic friend so out of it. He'd never let himself get this way. He had changed quite a bit over the last few months.
It was an all around entertaining night, to say the least. At least he had gotten out and did something with himself instead of working all the time, which is all they all seemed to do lately. Too many days had been spent with mission after mission or having to fill out paperwork. It made Zell grow tired of it all. It was, of course, Selphie, that had offered the extravagant night out on the town.
Well, it was himself, Irvine, Selphie and Squall. Quistsi didn't go because she had previous plans, promising to go the next time they'd have an outing. Seifer also didn't go, saying he had stuff to catch up on. Seifer hadn't been leaving his room much lately, Zell had noticed. Often keeping himself locked away from the world around him. The younger blond knew the reasons.
When he had gotten back, he definitely wasn't the same Seifer as before. More quiet and introverted. He wasn't well liked around garden, but Squall had let him come back because he'd forgiven him and knew it wasn't entirely the knights fault. Zell had agreed readily to show he was all for the idea.
"Ugh. You're not as light as you look." Zell mumbled to the sleeping brunet, standing in front of his door, keying in the code to get in. The commander had given him the code one time when he was out for a few days with his father so he could take care of some plants that Squall had in his room. Stepping in, he made his way to the bed and dropped him onto it after taking off his boots and then covering him up. He was trying to be quiet so as to not wake the sleeping figure lying down. He sighed and made to get exit the room with a sigh and a shake of his head.
He considered Squall one of his best friends.
Continuing his trek along the corridors, he sighed again, deciding he needed some time in the training center. It had been a while since he'd stepped foot in there and, well, no time like the present, Zell thought, grinning to himself at his thoughts.
Passing the other corridors; he had a sudden thought if Seifer was alright. He was always so cooped up, he doesn't really get a whole lot of opportunity to talk to the taller male. When he had talked to him, he wouldn't say much either. He hadn't known what to make of this knew Seifer, honestly. Well, he supposed he was staying in his room all the time to avoid getting into trouble, Zell summarized. He felt kinda bad for the other guy. He really had no friends, not one really liked to talk to him. He hadn't seen Raijin or Fuujin around, but knew Seifer at least still talked to them on occasions. He only knew the little tid bit of information from the brief instances where he had gotten a few words out of the taller blond.
"Sure is quiet."
Though he wasn't surprised; it was past ten already, so he supposed everyone was in their rooms by now. And he wasn't feeling particularly tired at the moment, which is why he was now finding himself standing at the entrance of the doors to the training center area.
"Alright. Time to test my skills," Zell grinned to himself cracking his knuckles.
After a few minutes, he heard a noise.
Curiosity getting the better of him, he proceeded to where the noise was coming from. He was aware that it was the sound of a t-rexaur dying. Who else would be in here, Zell wondered, following the sounds. He then caught site of a familiar head of golden blond hair and paused.
"Sefier!?"
The made the other whirl around and, for a second, Zell could see panic on his face, but relief washed over it, then annoyance.
"Chicken-wuss?" There was something off about his voice.
"What are you doing here?" Zell then got a really good look at him, noticing something around his eye that looked suspiciously like a bruise. It looked as though it had been recent, as it was turning a purplish color, and there was blood from a busted lip.
"What's it look lie?" Seifer grunted, wiping his brow, feeling tired as all hell. Well, considering he had many sleepless nights, it was no surprise that he was already tired. He didn't like the look Zell was giving him and crossed his arms over his chest defensively and glared.
"Wh-what the hell happened to you?"
Nothing, Dincht," Seifer said in a low grunt, "nothing at all."
Zell was confused. "Seifer…"
"Don't," the taller of the two snarled. "I don't want your fucking pity, Dincht."
"It's not pitty...it's just…" Zell trailed off, biting his lip, not sure what to say. He knew Seifer hated anyone pitting him.
"I don't care. Just leave me alone!" Seifer snapped, glaring, wiping some blood from his cut lip. He was just ready to walk out and leave, not caring to explain. He wasn't about to tell Zell what went down, about the beating he endured, which happened a lot more than he liked to admit. It's wasn't no ones business anyway.
Zell also noticed Seifer was favoring his right leg. What the hell happened?
"You should say something to someone, Seifer. Whoever is doing this I can-"
"No!" Seifer cut him off harshly. "I don't need your help, or want it. I'm doing just fine on my own, Dincht."
"Bullshit, Seifer. You're limping and you're bleeding. You need help."
"Fuck you," Seifer got in his face, hit hot breath hitting Zell's cheek, making him crane his head away slightly. "I said I was fine!"
"But you're not!" Zell burst out, also feeling his anger rise. What was Seifer's problem anyway?
"Oh, what the hell the hell do you know, chicken-wuss!?"
"I know that you need help and you-"
"I don't need a goddamn fucking thing-"
"Like hell, Seifer! Have you seen yourself?" Zell said, matching his tone, eyeing the other man, a look that Seifer hated.
"What the fuck do you care?" Seifer's fists clenched so tight his knuckles turned white. He just wanted to leave. He didn't want Zell to see him like his—weak...powerless.
"Because you obviously need help," Zell said, shaking his head.
"I don't need your help. I can take care of myself just fine." Though he knew he was lying to himself and to Zell.
"Yeah, says the guy with a black eye.."
So?" Seifer snapped, jaw clenching. "Them bastards just got fucking lucky!"
"Seifer—"
"Just leave me alone!" he hissed to him, hating to show weakness to anyone, especially Zell.
Who would do this to somebody? Seifer didn't deserve this. No one did. "No, you need my help."
"No, I don't need anything from you, wuss."
"Bullshit."
"Just fucking drop it, Dincht!" Seifer ground out, green eyes blazing, which Zell noticed had a sheen of unshed tears in them. Oh, he'd never seen Seifer cry before. That thought actually struck him speechless for a moment as he just stared at the other, blinking.
"Seifer—" Zell shook his head, at a loss for words. Seeing Seifer near tears was unnerving to the shorter man. It tore at him at Seeing Seifer like this. "You can't do this on your own."
"Oh, fuck you, Dincht. I don't need a goddamn thing from you or anyone else."
"Stop being a stubborn ass," Zell snapped back. "I'm just trying to help you. Why do you have to be such a bastard?"
Sefier suddenly stopped, face expressionless, which was worse than his anger. He eyed the other man for a few moments, just blinking. Suddenly he let out a harsh laugh, which sounded different in it's tone. Zell took a step back, wondering if Seifer had just lost what sanity he had left.
"That's right. I'm such a bastard. So just leave me the hell alone, would you? I don't need anything from you, Zell.."
"But Seifer!"
"Oh fuck this," he spat, glaring while gathering his gunblade, sheathing it, then he turned around to walk out.
He did not need to do deal with this. He was weak and pathetic. He deserved whatever he got. He didn't need anyone's pitty. He'd be fine by himself. He had be so far, so why should this be any different? He felt a hand reach out and grab hold of his arm, halting his steps. He froze.
"Seifer, look. I know we've never been like, super close or anything, but I'm just trying to help you."
Seifer could feel himself start to fall apart at the genuine concern Zell was showing him. He almost broke down right there, and he would have if it weren't for the fact that he didn't like to cry, especially in front of others. He was growing tired of everything and he just wanted to shut himself down. Who was he kidding? He had no friends here; they only tolerated him. That was it. No one gave a fuck, so why should he think Zell cared about him?
He just wanted someone to care. But knew he was fooling himself if he thought Zell actually cared. All he'd ever done to the boy was harass and pick on him all the time for years, so why should he care? He didn't deserve it anyway.
He yanked his arm out of Zells hold. "I said I was fine. Now, if you'll excuse me." With that he walked out, leaving Zell to stare at his back, a sad look on his face.
He knew Seifer was not fine by any sense of the word. He knew Seifer needed help, but was stubbornly refusing any. Seeing Seifer like this tore at Zell's insides, making his heart ache for the other boy. He wished Seifer would just open up to him, ask him for help.
And who the hell had done that to him anyway? That was uncalled for and shouldn't have happened. He just wanted to help the other man. Shaking his head, he sighed and headed for his room, Seifer on his mind.
"Ugh, I'm never drinking again."
"You always say that, Squall," Selphie chuckled at her friend, seeing him wince because of an obvious hang over.
He glared at her. "Whatever." Though he knew she was right.
She laughed, patting his arm, going back to her meal.
"How did I get to my room last night anyway?" Squall wondered out loud, more to himself, though she answered him anyway.
"Zell had to carry out! You passed out on the floor."
An embarrassed flush came to his cheeks, utterly humiliated at the very idea he was so inebriated that someone had to carry him. Because, really, he hadn't had a clue as to how he got there last night.
"Great."
"Oh, Squall. You had fun and you know it." Irvine said, joining the duo at the table.
He just glared at the cowboy, who withered under such a stare, making him shut up.
"Sorry," he said sheepishly, shrugging.
Squall laid his head on the table, groaning. "Never again." he affirmed.
The others just chuckled at him, knowing he was only fooling himself.
"So," Selphie chirped. "How about again tonight?"
This earned her a glared from under intense gray eyes.
"Okay, guess not?"
"Hey, guys," Zell announced his presence, smiling and taking a seat beside Squall, who's head happened to still be down.
"Oh, Zell! How'd you sleep?'"
"Alright." He shrugged, starting in on his meal, mind heavy.
"You sure, man?" Irvine eyed him for a second, seeing a far off look in his eyes, wondering what was troubling his friend.
"Sure," Zell shrugged, not wanting to discuss the matter further, heart heavy. He started chewing in his food, mind wondering off to thoughts of last night and what he had witnessed.
He wondered how said man was dealing with this all on his own. He needed to ask someone for help. Even though he knew this, he also knew Seifer. He hated asking anyone for help, thinking he had to do it all himself. But that wasn't the case. He didn't have to, but the taller male was a stubborn ass, who refused any kind of help from anyone. He looked up in time to see Seifer cross his line of vision for a moment, seeing the other avoiding his eyes. He watched as Seifer got a plate of food, but noticed he wasn't really touching his food, just kinda staring at it, a far away look in his eyes.
He noticed he looked slightly better than last night. He must have took care of his wounds. Zell stared at him far longer than he intended, seeing Seifer's eyes glance over to his direction. Both men stared at each other for a second, both with thoughts in their head, before Seifer quickly looked away, going back to his tray of untouched food. Zell noticed he was looking a little thinner, but nothing to be too concerned about, he guessed. But he must not have been eating much lately. He wondered what thoughts were going on in the others head, and wished he knew.
"Zell?"
"Huh, what?" he blinked, realizing he got caught staring at Seifer.
"You were out of it. Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Don't worry about me. I'm fine, Selphie," he assured her with what he hoped was a reassuring smile.
Luck was on his side as she let the matter drop with a nod of her head. "If you're sure."
"I am."
"If something's bothering you, you can tell us. We're you're friends, Zell," she said with a smile.
A grunt was heard. "Uh, I think I'm gonna go lay down. I drank too much last night."
Zell chuckled at him. "I told ya to slow down! But, you insisted you were fine. You can't hold your liquor very well."
"Whatever. I can too!" Squall huffed. He rubbed in between his eyebrows where a headache was making itself known. Definitely needed to lie down. "Ugh…" They watch with amusement as said man got up and dashed for the rest room.
"Right," Zell snorted to his retreating back, shaking his head, seeing a pair of green eyes watching for a second. Though it happened so fast, he was probably imagining it.
"Hey, Seifer!" Selphie said, seeing the loner blond. "Why don't you come over here and sit with us?" she suggested with a smile aimed at him, waving her small hand for him to come over.
Seifer blinked at being called to, and stared blankly at her for a few short moments before coming back to himself and shaking his head, still frowning.
"Yeah, come on over, man," was said by Irvine.
"I'd rather not.." he trailed off, looking at Zell for a second, blue eyes watching him intently for a fraction of a moment before Seifer looked away from those intense eyes. "I have to go," he suddenly said. Standing up, he grabbed his tray and walked off, not bothering to look at their confused faces at his abrupt departure.
"Well, that was weird…"
"Yeah." Irvine cocked his head and frowned. "What was that about anyway?"
They all looked at Zell, who had yet to speak. "What?" he frowned, wondering if he had something on his face. He tilted his head slightly, frown still there.
"Don't you think Seifer's been acting weird lately?"
"Well, you know Seifer…" Zell chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "He's probably just busy right now." He knew, even to himself, that that sounded pretty lame.
"Hmm." She didn't look like she believed him. He never was a very good liar, he concluded in his mind.
He just shrugged to her, hoping she would drop it. He knew Seifer was in some kinda trouble, but what would the others say? They all got along, sure, but still he couldn't help but wonder about the whole thing sometimes.
"You okay? You look someone just kicked a puppy," Irvine asked, leaning back and peering into Zell's light blue eyes.
"Yeah..I'm good." He waved away his concern, as if his mind wasn't a jumbled fucked up mess right now.
"If you're sure…" he trailed off, not sure what else he could say. If Zell didn't wanna talk about, he wouldn't. He would if he wanted them to know.
He flashed them a smile. "Yeah. You worry too much!" There, he hoped that would be believable enough for them.
"Well, you're our friend! Of course we're worried!"
"I know Selph,"
"So...about going out tonight…"
"Nah, I'm not up for it tonight. You and Irvine can go and have some fun for all of us." Zell smirked at the couple, watching Selphie grin.
"Okay, I guess I'll take him."
"Thanks Seffie, you always know just how to make me feel special." She winked at him and he laughed.
"You guys." the martial artist shook his head at the duo.
"Are you sure you don't wanna come though?" Selphie asked again, feeling like she was missing something.
"Yea, Go have fun. I have other things to do anyways," he said with a wave of his hand.
"Oh that reminds me. I have to go pick something up in town anyway…"
He tuned out the rest of the conversation, mind wondering. He wondered about the look Seifer gave him earlier. He looked so...sad. He knew Seifer had trouble letting anyone inside his head. Zell was confused about why he let's this shit happen to him though. And it wasn't like he was in this alone, but that's exactly how Seifer felt. Seifer never let anyone get anything over on him, so it perplexed Zell when he'd gotten a look at the other man last night. Seifer would be the first to put someone in their place. And for the tall man to let that happen...
Though he didn't know what what was going on in his mind. He so badly wanted to.
"Hey, I'm gonna head off," he suddenly said, standing.
"O-kay?" Selphie said, confusion written on her childlike face.
"Sorry. I just remembered something." That was a lie. He just wanted time to think for himself, to try to get his thoughts in order. "I'll see you guys later." With a wave he walked off, dumping his tray of what he hadn't managed to finish, mind too preoccupied and he wasn't really feeling particularly hungry at the moment anyway. He didn't see their confused faces as he walked out without looking back.
Why was he feeling like this? To a certain point, he could understand it. Even if him and Seifer didn't talk a whole lot, they were closer than they ever use to be, that much was true. And he couldn't seem to get the look in Seifer's eyes out of his mind, or the other night. Just thinking someone was hurting the other man made him angry. Seifer had been trying his best to stay out of peoples way and mind his own business. And the fact that Seifer doesn't ask for help also angered him.
"Hey, you know what?" Zell heard from a males voices.
"What's up?" his friend asked, feigning interest.
"Almasy got his ass kicked last night!" The guy grinned, obviously happy with that news, grin on his face.
Zell could feel his hands twitching as he continued to listen.
"Really?"
"Yeah! I heard the guys who did it bragging. Man, way to go. That was the least the traitor deserved," the first guy spat.
"How many were there involved anyway?" the second man asked, totally interested now.
"At least four."
Four!?
"Seriously? Four huh?"
"Yep. They shouldn't have let that useless bastard come back here. He's not welcome."
"Yeah you're right. They should keep trash where they belong!"
"Why don't you guys just shut the fuck up!" He was surprised that that came from his own voice.
"W-what?" The guy back up a few steps, confused at the tone.
"You heard me. You're talking as if you know him. You don't know shit!" Zell snapped, glaring hatefully.
"We know he's a traitor." the first guy said. "And he doesn't deserve to be here."
"Oh, and you think you do?" Zell snorted rudely, itching to deck the bastard. Why was he acting like this?
"I didn't betray garden," he pointed out.
"No, you just talk a big a game. And you're so full of yourself. When's the last time you went on a mission? Don't fucking talk as if you know him. You don't know a damn thing about him.
"I know we don't need useless wastes like him around, He's just a traitor. Worhless-" He never got to finish that sentence as a second later Zell's fist shot out in a right hook, catching him in the jaw. The guys eyes went wide as he stared up at Zell wondering what he said.
"I thought I told you to shut the fuck up."
"W-what the-? It's just Seifer. Why are you getting so worked up? I'm just stating the truth!"
If he was smart he would have kept his mouth shut. But he obviously didn't know Zell very well. Maybe it was time to introduce him to the blond's infamous short temper? Zell grabbed his by the front of his shirt and slammed him up against the wall.
"Keep talking," he warned. "Take back what the fuck you said." His voice was like ice. The guy gulped.
"What? Why should I?"
Zell grabbed tighter and leaned in. "I don't wanna have to repeat myself," he said, voice calm.
"Okay," he gasped. "F-fine. I t-take it back. Just let go."
Satisfied he let him go. "Now, get the fuck out of my sight."
He watched in satisfaction as they scrambled away and he snorted in disgust.
"I don't think they'd like the idea of you attacking Cadets," came a familiar, hard voice.
Zell gasped and spun around, blinking. "My god, don't sneak up on me like that."
"What the hell are you doing, chicken-wuss?" Seifer asked leaning against the wall, eyes shining.
"What? They really had no room to talk." Zell defended himself, not feeling guilty in the slightest.
"I don't need you to defend me I can take care of myself." Seifer's eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms over his chest as he started at the other. An odd look passing over his face.
"I know."
Sighing, the taller glared. "Why Dincht?"
'Why what?" Zell cocked an eyebrow.
"What the hell was that about?"
Shrugging, Zell sighed, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly for a second. "They talk too much shit about stuff they don't have a fucking clue about?"
"But are they wrong?" the taller blond ask, a new sharp edge entering his tone—bitterness?
The other snapped his eyes up and thinned his lips before replying. "Yeah. They are."
"Dincht, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I'm not exactly wanted around here. I mean, they have a point. I don't belong here. Who the fuck am I kidding?" He snarled to himself, clenching his fist. "Maybe I should just-"
"Don't even finish that sentence."
Seifer blinked, taken aback by the others tone, unsure what to make of it and stared hard at the other for several silent moments. "You don't even know what I was going to say…"
"Really?" the other deadpanned, not amused. "I know exactly what you were going to say."
"Oh?" The other chuckled, but, Zell noticed, there was a cutting edge to his laugh, a sound that unnerved the other. "You think you know me, chicken?" He asked harshly, maybe a little too harshly. "Think you have me all figured out, do you?" Seifer's voice was hard, and it cut through Zell like a knife. "Well, here's a newsflash, Dincht, you don't know shit."
Zell stared at the others outburst and, not entirely sure what to say, just watched the others features contort from angry, to sad, to fucking livid. Perhaps he hadn't understood Seifer as much as he thought. He was always a hard person to read, and he never let people in. And he knew being back in Garden sure as hell wasn't easy for Seifer, and didn't really understand to the extent of what he dealt with all the time from everyone there. But knew there was a lot of hostility towards the tall blond. And knew he was dealing with shit all on his own.
"What?" Zell finally asked, though he'd heard perfectly what the other said, especially by the look the other was giving him. "You wanna repeat that? I don't think I heard you the first time?" His voice almost sounding cross.
Seifer just scoffed and frowned at the other. "Dincht, why the fuck can't you just mind your own business?" He needed to keep Zell at a distance, just like everyone else.
The other just blinked several times, but not really because he was surprised, he was use to the others attitude, that was nothing new. What stopped him was the others eyes—the look in them he knew the other tried to keep hidden. He just shook his head. Even though he tried to hide it, Zell knew what the other was trying, and failing at. So, instead of getting mad, he just sighed and regarded the other, who, by now, was looking ready to leave, posture stiffened for the briefest of seconds before the other looked away from him and turned around, a frown on his tanned face.
"Seifer...Look, man...I know-"
"Just...do me a favor….please….just fuck off…." The tone wasn't snarky, snappy, or even mean, it just sounded...tired to Zell, defeated really, and his heart went out to the other and he opened his mouth to speak, wanting to say something but not really know what to say at this precise moment.
He watched the other walk off, not looking back as he did so. "Seifer!" he tried, but the other wasn't listening, even though he knew the other heard him, and just kept up his pace, not pay attention to anyone or anything.
Dejectedly, Zell just stood there, really not sure what to do at this point, and just decided to leave the other be for a while
"Seifer, man, let's go to the movies tonight?" his burly friend, Raijin suggested. One of the only people, beside Fuujin, of course, that he considered friends—best friends at that. His only friends. And they hadn't had the opportunity to visit too much lately, having been busy with school and work. Seifer had just gotten back from class when Raijin decided to come over, not that he minded, but he really didn't feel up to company at the moment,
Seifer sat on his couch and sighed. "Why?" he asked after a bout of contemplation. He was not in the mood to go anywhere, and instead, something he hadn't done in years, wanted to go crawl under his blanket and bury his head under his pillow and just forget about everything for a while. But his friend, as moronic as he can be sometimes, was just looking out for him. He was touched he had invoked such a friendship in these two, and it made him realize he was lucky to have them.
"Come on," He said again, trying for a grin. "I know this really cool movie that's playing in a couple of hours, and I'm more than sure you'll like it," he insisted.
"You always say that," Seifer said, but couldn't help but let a small smile wash over his his sculpted face as he listened to his friend. "And it always sucks." He added with a smirk.
"Hey," he said defensively. "Not all of them, ya know?" He said this huffily.
"Really? Need I remind you of the last one?"
The last one had been a particularly horrible movie. It was called the attack of the Marlboro's, and Seifer didn't even know why he went to see it, but he had agreed, and regretted it. And knew his friend hadn't the best choice when it came the picking movies to go see. Even Fuujin didn't like the movies the other picked. Seifer leaned back in his seat, and put his hands behind his head and saw Raijin getting a drink from his kitchenette and bringing him one as well, to which he smiled his thanks as his friend sat back down. He watched his can for several quiet moments before his friend spoke up again.
"I think it'll be good to get out of Garden for a few hours, anyway, Seifer, ya know?" the bigger man tried again, patting the other on the shoulder, probably a little more roughly then he intended. The big oaf sometimes didn't realize his own strength. "When's the last time you went out?"
Seifer paused, then opened his mouth to speak, then closing it as he didn't have a suitable answer. He frowned as his racked his brain. When was the last time? Well, it would have to be, he thought, around two months since he'd been out, which was when they saw that terrible movie. He knew his friend was just trying to help him, but he couldn't help but still feel the bitterness inside of himself, the sadness looming over him, and the sudden urge to just punch something really fucking hard. He appreciated the man's efforts—and he didn't wanna take his anger out on one of the very few people who was still around, so he just shook his head.
"You okay, ya know?" he asked, a concerned frown on his face as he noticed a change in his friends demeanor.
"Fine," was what he said in reply, snapping his eyes over to his friend who was giving him a worried look. "Don't look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like...I'm fucking made of glass…" Seifer hadn't meant to snap, but he was sick of people treating him like he was going to break any second.
Raijin frowned and shook his head. "Sorry, ya know. Me and Fuu, we're just worried about you, ya know?"
"I know, but there's no reason to be," Seifer said with a shrug. "I'm fine…. I'm always fucking fine," he said, voice still calm. And he gave his friend a fake smile, before it morphed into a frown and he turned away. He hated lying to his only friends—especially when it was so obvious of the change in their bond headed leader. And his friends weren't stupid, and actually was smarter than he liked to admit, especially Fuujin.
"Stop lying to me, or, better yet, yourself." His friends voice was now edged with a little snap, and Seifer stared.
"I'm not-" but he stopped himself, and if the look Raijin was giving him was any indication, he knew he'd called his bullshit the moment the words left his mouth. So he snapped his mouth shut and just gave a blank stare, green eyes not looking at anything in particular.
"Seifer, man," the bigger man shook his head. "I know you're lying."
"Oh, what do you know?" he snarked, crossing his muscular arms and avoided looking at his friend.
Raijin chuckled, unfazed. "So, movies?" he asked again, hoping if he pestered his blond buddy enough, he'd agree, but also knew the other was stubborn as shit.
"No," Seifer said persistently. He really rather be left to his own devices. "I don't think so."
"Come on," he sighed. "You're not getting anywhere like this, ya know? Come on," he said again. "I really wanna see this movie and want you to go with me, ya know?!" Rai grinned at his leader.
"Why do you need me to go? Go ask Fuu," he said with an eye roll, getting up to go sit on the edge of his bed.. Plopping down, he laid back, arms spread out as he looked up at the ceiling of his room, mind overloaded with too many fucking thoughts. He heard his friend get up and heard some rustling around for a bit. Not caring what the other was doing, he kept his gaze up. He really just wanted to curl up and not think for a while. But Raijin was making that a little difficult at the current moment.
"I already did," the bulky man said. "She kinda busy tonight."
Seifer scoffed. "Well, then find someone else to go with you," he said crankily, arms now behind his head.
He really, at moments like this, just wanted to smack some sense into his hardheaded moron of a friend. "Seifer...stop being difficult, ya know?!" he sighed.
"It's what I do," was his reply, maybe a little cheekily.
Raijin went over to the bed and grabbed a pillow and, before Seifer could react, smacked him dead in the face.
Seifer blinked. "What the hell?" He glared.
Raijin just grinned at him. "Coming with me yet?" I won't stop bugging you until you agree to go."
Taking the pillow, he threw it back and snappily said. "Fuck. Fine. I'll fucking go." Catching the pillow effortlessly, the other male in the room grinned smugly, and Seifer scowled. "Raijin...you piss me off sometimes…" he sighed, laying back down, arms behind his head again, eyes on a far wall.
"It's what I'm here for, ya know?" He nodded.
"Piss off now," the other grouchily said, but tone not mean.
"Fine. But I'm coming back in a few hours. Be better be ready, ya know?" the larger man warned before stalking to the door.
"Yeah. Whatever," he grunted, waving his hand as his friend left, and sighed when the door was closed and he was left to himself now, which was what he wanted anyway.
He frowned as his mind continued to wander. If he had been a drinker, he would've just drowned himself in some fucking bourbon and called it a fucking night. And sometimes, he was damn tempted to. He'd been through a lot lately, and just was tired of it all...everything. He wondered why he was even still around here—there wouldn't be no love loss if he just up and left, that he was sure of. He rubbed his tired eyes and scooted up the bed, grabbing the pillow Raijin had threw so rudely at him and placed it over his head, trying to block out everything.
He heard his door open up again. He wondered if it was his friend again and frowned into the pillow. "Raijin..go away," his muffled voice said. "I really don't want company right now…"
"That's too bad," the voice said, and Seifer stilled his breathing for a second. "And too fucking bad."
"Chicken?" Seifer's muffled voice sounded, still not removing the pillow from his face.
Zell walked over to the other and shook his head, sitting down beside the other. "Seifer…"
"Zell—"
"No, Seifer." He snatched the pillow from the others face. "You had your say earlier. Now we need to talk."
Seifer scowled at him."Why the fuck do I need to talk to you?"
"You're a real asshole you know?" Zell continued as if the other hadn't said anything.
"Yes," Seifer said. "We've established that-"
Zell held a finger to his lips to silence him and Seifer blinked, startled, heart picking up in it's speed. "When I said we needed to talk, I meant I need to say something and you are gonna listen."
All Seifer could do was nod.
"Good," the shorter blond said, grinning at his lack snarky remarks. "I don't know why you always have to be such an ass, especially when I know you're not."
"How do you know?"
Zell just rolled his eyes.
"What the hell do you want?" Seifer asked with an arched brow. "Can't you just piss off?" His tone was meant to sound harsh, but he just couldn't manage it right now.
"You're right, Seifer," Zell ignored the others editorials and continued without interruption. "I don't understand you…"
Seifer's eyes narrowed and opened his mouth to say something no doubt bitchy about the fact that knew that and had said such as much, but the other beat him to it again. "But I'd like to."
The taller just blinked and tilted his head to regard the other with an odd look. "What?" was all he could manage at this particular moment as he watched and listened to the other speak.
"I'd like to understand," he repeated, seeing the other turn his face away.
"I don't know what you want me to say, Dincht," Seifer said, still avoiding the others eyes.
"I want," Zell started with a sigh. "I want to be able to help you, Seifer. But you don't make that easy."
"I told you, dammit," Seifer grit out, fist clenched in the sheet. "I don't need-"
"You do," the other blond cut him off. "You really do, but you're just too damn mother fucking stubborn to admit it and it's starting to piss me off."
Seifer's head whipped over to him and he glared. "What the fuck do you know, Chicken?!" he all but shouted, starting the other. "I've been fine this fucking long, and I don't need help,. Especially from you." His words were harsh and Zell frowned angrily and resisted the urge to just knock some damn sense into this man.
"Is that so? So you like this?" He challenged with a quirked eyebrow, daring. He pointed to the bruise and the cut lip, to which the other's face contorted to that of someone who was pissed off and hurt.
"I can handle myself," he said arrogantly, tone frosty.
"Why do you always have to be such a cunt?" Zell asked.
"Get out," Seifer hissed, sitting up on his elbows, such a glare, if looks could kill, Zell Dincht would have been gone.
Zell just sat there and shook his head slowly. He knew Seifer was just lashing out, and he didn't know how to help the other and he frowned in thought. Why did this ass have to be so stubborn? Can't he see what's in front of him? Or does he just not want to his it because he keeps telling himself He's fine on his own and nobody gives a damn anyway, and Zell knew that wasn't true; he cared—cared a lot more than the other male knew. Sure, he hadn't meant to call him that, but he was pissing him off. And his mouth usually runs without his brain thinking it through. He needed to work on his brain to mouth filter sometime.
"Seifer, I don't want to argue with you." Zell sighed as he turned to face the other and seen the others gaze meet his, making his breath still for a moment. He knew what lies in Seifer's deep green eyes—guarded and haunted eyes, even as the other finally looked away with a heavy sigh.
"Okay," Seifer said with an unreadable expression on his face. "Never call me a cunt again."
Zell chuckled. "Sorry."
Seifer sighed and closed his eyes. "What is it with you?" He finally asked. "I'm all but throwing you out the door, yet, here you are." He still had his eyes closed a thoughtful frown on his handsome face and Zell just looked at him and smiled.
"Yes," he eventually said. "Here I am." And after that he decided to move in closer to invade the others space, causing the other to open his eyes and stare down at the now blue eyes that were quite literally right in front of his face. He tried to look away but Zell hooked one hand behind his head and Seifer jerked in surprise and tried to move away, but Zell's hand stopped him, firmly grasping the nape of his neck as he drew him in closer, seeing the others wide eyes stare at him.
"Zell…" That was all he could say as Zell brought him closer and captured his lips in his own, Seifer made a surprised sound in the back of his throat and opened his mouth to say something, but that only succeeded in the other slipping his soft, wet tongue into his mouth. His hands flew to Zell's hair, gripping it tight as that tongue explored his mouth deliciously and he moaned involuntarily. Zell pulled him closer to his body as his ravished his mouth, deepening the kiss, both groaning as their bodies connected together.
Zell started massaging the nape of his neck with his thumb and enjoyed the shudder the other gave at the action.
He can't say he'd never imagined kissing Zell because he definitely had...many times. But having it actually happened surprised the shit out of him. And he knew of his own feelings and hide tried to suppress them. But, now that it's happening; Zell's tongue delving further into the heat of his own mouth, that hand that's caressing his neck, he lost all coherent thought and simply gave in to Zell. His hand went to cup the shorter blonds cheek and their mouth slowly worked together, their breaths mingling together. And it was better then Seifer could have thought,
Seifer felt the other moan against his mouth and that made him stir in his lower parts, all blood seemed to be rushing there as their heated kiss grew. Seifer pulled away and Zell started kissing his neck, causing him to moan-even louder when the other found a sensitive spot. He felt the other chuckled. "Sensitive?"
:"Yeah." He breathed then shook his head. He pulled the others face up to meet his lips in a chaste kiss.
"So...does that answer your fucking question?"
Seifer did smile at that and shook his head. "Why?"
"I'd think that pretty obvious by now."
"No..I mean...why now?" Seifer asked as he leaned his head on the other shoulder, feeling Zell run his hands through his hair. "I thought you hated me…"
"I don't think I ever really did. I just hated what you did, and I had a strong dislike for you for a while, but then I starting getting to know the real you, and I know you're not so much of a bastard that you pretend to be."
"Shows how much you know," Seifer said with a chuckle. Zell kissed his cheek. "And, Dincht, for the love of God, don't go around attacking Cadets."
"My bad," he said but wasn't really listening.
"Zell, I'm serious…" He lifted his head.
"Well, then they need to keep their mouths shut and that wouldn't be a problem," he said snidely. "I'm sorry," he said when he saw the others look. "But, I'm not going to just let them get away with shit either."
Seifer shrugged. "They're just words, and although I do appreciate it, don't act like I need some savior."
"I know," the other blond said. "It isn't even a matter of that."
"Oh?"
"I know you've been going through a lot," he shrugged. "I'm going to be there for you whether you can take care of yourself or not. You're not in this alone Seifer, you need to realize that."
Seifer nodded slowly, taking the words for what they are and even smiled a little as he laid his forehead against Zell's. "Fine. Okay." He said softy, shaking his head. "For the record…" he trialed off to kiss the others lips, "having you around isn't that bad…"
"Ass," he snipped back with no heat behind it and kissed the other again, softly,
"Chicken-wuss."
Zell pulled back and glared at him, but it melted at the site of Seifer's smile and he shook his head. "I hate you."
"Hate you too."
They grinned at each other and kissed again and they slowly laid down, each caressing each others body. Never breaking the heated kiss. Seifer moaned when Zell's tongue did some amazing things inside his mouth, swiping his tongue against his. As they laid next to each other, their bodies inching closer, breaths becoming shorter and he clutched Zell's shoulders and brought him closer to his own body, letting the overwhelming sensation of the other males tongue sweep across the roof of his mouth and held him tighter, growing painfully hard, and he could feel the other through his own pants, causing more heat to stir.
Soon the need for air made them break apart, but their bodies remained flushed together, breathing harshly against one another, mirrored stupid grins on their faces. Seifer buried his face in the crook of Zell's neck and sighed, kissing him there. "Zell.."
"Hmm?" He asked, running his hand up Seifer's back.
Seifer hesitated for a moment then just shook his head. "Nothing…" he trailed off face still resting comfortably in Zell's neck, his breath sending shivers down the other spine. "Thanks…"
Zell just held him tighter, and he swore he felt Seifer shake slightly but chose not to say anything and just laid there with him in his arms. He sighed as he felt Seifer hold him tighter as well, keeping their bodies as close as they possibly could.
Zell just smiled.