(Scene opens up with Phineas and Ferb playing with remote-controlled cars.)
Linda: Hey, boys.
Phineas: Hey, Mom!
Linda: What are you up to today?
Phineas: We're racing our remote-controlled monster trucks. (Remotes clicking)
Linda: I don't see any monster trucks.
Phineas: Oh, that's because we rigged them to go light speed. You how those stock motors are. They never give you enough action.
Linda: (unaware) You boys have such active imaginations. You must get it from your father.
(car horn)
Linda: Oh, Charlene's here. I'm off to my cooking class.
Phineas: Bye, Mom. (At Ferb) Final lap, Ferb. (Cars zooming) Aw! Another photo finish. I'm never watching closely enough to see who won.
(In Candace's room)
(Phone rings)
Candace: Despair speaking.
Stacy: Care to explain why "Despair" isn't picking up her cell phone this morning?
Candace: Because of a little thing called PARALLEL PARKING! You see yesterday, Dad was teaching me how to drive...
(Flashback)
Lawrence: Okay, Candace. All you have to do is park between this plastic trash can, and that plastic trash can.
Candace: So, I put it in reverse... AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH! (drives back and forth slamming into the two trash cans)
(Flashback ends)
(moving phone back and forth) AAH! AAH! AAH! (Sobbing) Then Dad said my parallel parking needs a little work! It means I'll never get my driver's license! I'm such a loser.
Phineas: Oh my gosh, Ferb. I can't believe it! I've never noticed how soft our carpets are. But more importantly, we have to help Candace get her confidence back. Any ideas?
(Ferb pulls out blueprint)
Phineas: This is perfect! The Candace Crusher! Nothing says confidence like a monster truck. Hey, where's Perry?
(Sometime later)
Lawrence: (Horn honking) Oh, hey boys.
Phineas: Oh, hey Dad.
Lawrence: (Notices the monster truck) CRIKEY! A monster truck!
Phineas: Yeah! Isn't it sweet? It's to help to teach Candace how to parallel park and stuff. We figured out if she learned how to drive on of these monsters, she's got the confidence to drive anything.
Lawrence: Oh yeah, brilliant. But I better check with Mom about this. (At phone) Uh, hello honey, yes, yes, oh gosh, I love you too, darling. Uh, are you aware the boys have a monster truck in the backyard?
Linda: Honestly, you're as bad as Candace.
Lawrence: Okay, okay. Just checking. (At Phineas and Ferb) It's a go, boys! I'll get your sister!
(Moments later)
Candace: Oh, this seems like a good idea.
Phineas: I gotcha. (helps Candace get on)
Candace: Oh, what's the point? I'm never gonna be able to parallel park.
Phineas: Don't worry, sis. It's just to build your confidence.
Lawrence: Okay, don't forget to buckle up.
Candace: But we can't drive here. It's just the backyard.
(Phineas and Ferb pulls rope, revealing the Monster Truck Rally)
Meap!
(Meanwhile)
Doofenshmirtz: Gentlemen, I have a unique investment opportunity for you. I'm sure you're all aware of the popularity of monster trucks, right? But you know, they are not really monsters, just big, stupid trucks! So, I came up with my own line of monster trucks! Behold!
(Evil Music)
Very evil, don't you think? And there's even one that looks like me! Look, look! (Laughs) We'll corner the markets! And just to be sure, I have created: The Monster Truck Away-inator! (Dramatic music) You know, to do away with the competition.
Evil Investor: But is it safe to use? ( in German accent)
Doofenshmirtz: Sure, let me demonstrate. (Fires laser, shooting at the evil investor) See? It doesn't affect people at all!
(Evil Investor head swells up)
Doofenshmirtz: Except maybe a little swelling, but don't worry, it will go down. You know, probably. Now, watch what it does to this miniature monster truck! (Fires laser; Evil Investors talking at once) (Monster truck toy disappears) (POOF!)
Doofenshmirtz: Of course, that was just a toy. Let's try it out on a real monster truck. Huh? Which brings me to my next invention. The Monster Truck Locate-Inator! (reveals his invention but Perry is there) Perry the Platypus? Guess what? That's not a monster truck locate-inator at all! It's a Chinese platypus trap! (captures Perry) (Laughs) I got you. Here's the real Locate-inator! Okay, now, where is the nearest monster truck? Yes! Right here in Danville! Okay, everybody, get in me and we'll go.
Evil Investor: Are you sure you want to bring him?
Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus? Well, yes, of course. He's my nemesis. I have to show him everything.
(Meanwhile, on the news)
News Reporter: Good afternoon, Danville! Dink Winkerson here, and this is little Isabella Garcia-Shapiro from Fireside Girl Troop 46231. And she got a little announcement to make.
Isabella: (inhales, man's voice) WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY! GIANT MONSTER TRUCK RALLY RIGHT HERE IN DANVILLE! CANDACE THE CRUSHER TAKES ON ALL COMERS! BE THERE, BE THERE, BE THERE! WE'LL GIVE YOU THE WHOLE SEAT, BUT YOU'LL ONLY NEED THE EDGE! (normal voice, giggles) Thanks, Dink.
Phineas: All right, Candace. All you have to do is maneuver through this traffic cone course.
Candace: Oh. So, I put it into drive... AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH!
Phineas: Okay, scratch that. All you have to do on this test is go up this gentle incline.
Candace: Dad, you look nervous.
Lawrence: No, of course not. I- I have full confidence in you. (sarcastically)
Candace: Phineas, this incline is getting kind of steep!
Phineas: Don't worry, Candace. It gets steeper!
(Monster truck revving)
Next, the break portion of the test.
(Perfectly applies the brakes.)
Candace: (Gasps) I can't believe I did it!
Lawrence: (gulps) Oh, well done!
(At the same time, Doofenshmirtz comes to the rally)
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, left on to Maple Drive, and here we are! Oh, great. There's no parking spot! I should've invented a Parked Car Away-Inator.
Evil Investor: Oh, ja! That is something that I vould buy.
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, look at him. He's got a big head, suddenly some sort of marketing genius.
Lawrence: Oh, well done, Candace! Let's- (Cars revving)
Monster Truck Driver: You're Candace the Crusher?
Candace: Yes...?
Monster Truck Driver: I heard pigs could fly, but now I've seen everything! (Laughs)
Candace: That doesn't make any sense.
Monster Truck Driver: It doesn't have to; I got a monster truck! Woohoo...!
Lawrence: Candace, those dudes need to suck our mud! (in Anger)
(They race till the end)
Phineas: It's a photo finish! The winner will be decided by our final event: The Parallel Parking Challenge!
Candace: Parallel Parking?
Monster Truck Driver: Ha ha! You're goin' down, girlie! Check out the finesse! (Backs up car, hits trash can) AAH! AAH! AAH! AAH...!
Lawrence: See, Candace? Even a trained professional has trouble from time to time. Now, I want you to just relax, and park this car!
Candace: (Parks car) Yes!
Ferb: (Playing Fanfare)
Phineas: Perfect!
(Crowd cheering)
Doofenshmirtz: Time for some Monster Truck Away-Inating! Okay, steady now... Here we-
Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus? No, wait! Perry the Platypus! No, no! Please! Don't turn the dial to the "Doofenshmirtz mobile and Evil Investors away-inator"! (Perry flips switch) I have to rethink my dials. (Car disappears)
Doofenshmirtz: Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
(At the rally)
Candace: I did it!
Lawrence: I'm proud of you, darling. You really made them eat mud.
Candace: (Comes out of monster truck and falls onto mud)
Monster Truck Driver: Gotta admit it girl. You're good.
Phineas: Hey, aren't you Buck Buckerson? The famous monster truck rally promoter?
Buck Buckerson: That's right, and me and my boys are headed to a rally up in Badgertown. Only the track up ain't near as good as this one.
Phineas: You can have ours. We're through with it.
Buck Buckerson: That's mighty nice of you. Haul her away, boys.
(Meanwhile, Linda is home from cooking class)
Linda: Thanks for the ride, Charlene.
Ferb: (Presses button and monster truck turns into Linda's car)
Phineas: Hi, Mom.
Linda: Candace, why on earth are you all covered in mud?
Ferb: Because she's a tire-spinning, gear-grinding, clutch-burning, backfiring, paint-trading, red-lining, overheating, throttle-stomping truck drivin' girl. (makes up an explanation)
(Everyone stares at Ferb in awe.
Candace: And I learned how to parallel park!
Linda: Great!