VOLUME 2: SHINTARO HYOUDOU VS. THE PHENEX'S HAREM

First Person POV – Shintaro Hyoudou

So, This Passes for Normal Now?

The day after Asia was inducted into the class, I decided it was high time to get back to my usual skulduggery.

We were all sitting in class, waiting for the teacher to arrive. Most people had noticed something missing from the classroom, though most didn't think anything of it. I could hear them muttering in curiosity, but the conversation topics drifted away pretty quickly. I could feel Koneko-chan's eyes flicking to me now and then. She knew I'd done something. Her desk was closer to mine than it used to be, and Asia had moved hers closer on the first day, too. I enjoyed the jealous looks I was getting from the other guys in the room.

The door opened.

The teacher entered.

Confused silence followed.

"Hyoudou," he said tersely.

"Yes?" I asked innocently.

"Where is my desk?"

"Don't know, sensei. Not in here, I can say that for definite. Weird."

He groaned and held his head in his hands. "Two weeks of peace come crashing to an abrupt halt …" he muttered, though loud enough that we heard it. He fixed me with a stern stare. "Where did you put it?"

"I really don't know what you're talking about, sensei," I said, like a liar.

"This is not funny, Hyoudou."

"Well, you're the one who lost an entire desk, I don't know what you're going off on me for."

"I didn't lose my desk." He started pacing back and forth at the front of the room.

"Where was the last place you saw it?" Asia asked in an attempt to be helpful. I felt just a little bad for inadvertently having her make this funnier, but only a little.

He looked like he was about to snap, but Asia's overall aura of niceness had just as significant an effect on him as it did on everybody else, and he couldn't bring himself to do it. He looked me dead in the eyes again. "Tell me where my desk is right now, or I'll grab the T.V. out of the closet and make the entire class watch the original cut of the Sonic the Hedgehog movie."

"Where did you even get that?"

"I mean it, Hyoudou."

"…"

"Okay, Hyoudou, it's your fault the entire class needs to be punished." He walked to the closet, which was on the other side of the room to the door he came through.

"Colder," I said.

He stopped in his tracks, turned around, and looked at me. He took a single step back towards the centre-front of the room.

"Warmer," I said.

He took a couple more steps, getting closer to the classroom door.

"Warmer." I stood up and walked around my desk, so I could see him as he left the classroom, considered his options, and went left. "Colder." He walked past the door and to the right. "Warmer." I walked out of the classroom, initially just poking my head around the corner to check his progress. "Ooh, a little warmer."

He looked back at me with a glare that could have melted steel, but I just smiled at him.

"Even warmer," I said once he started walking again. "Hot, you're getting hot. Warmer. Colder. You're getting colder!" I said as he passed by a door.

He paused and walked back.

"Warmer," I assured him.

He looked at the door he was standing by in the hallway, then turned to look at me. By this point, the entire class was stood behind me, just watching this unfold. He shook his head at me and opened the door to the male staff bathroom and found there was just enough space to open the door, but the desk was blocking off just about every other point in the room. He looked at the surprisingly working computer and the ground, now noticing that the wires for everything were leading out of the bathroom and were plugged in in the hallway.

"Scalding hot, sensei," I said.

"Yeah, no shi—"

Our teacher was saved from the jokes that would originate if he swore in front of his students when the only person in the school scarier than the teachers happened to walk down the hallway and upon our scene: the student council president.

Shit, I thought.

Souna Shitori was in the third year, just like Buchou and Akeno-san, and she carried an air of authority unmatched by any other student in Kuoh Academy. She was a bespectacled girl with a very slim figure, not as buxom as the two third-years mentioned but still pretty sexy, black hair styled in a bob cut, and violet eyes. She wore her uniform as perfect as it could be worn. I knew from my run-ins with her before this that she was not a woman to be trifled with. Fantasised about on a lonely night when my imagination is running wild with a sub-dom scenario in which I am the sub? Most definitely, but not trifled with.

"Hyoudou," she said when she saw what was going on. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Shitori-senpai," I said back. "I feel like we both already know the answer to that."

"The fact that we're not too far away from the start of the year and I'm already getting used to hearing your name pop up is not a good sign for you."

"On the contrary, that sort of notoriety is great for business."

She breathed out through her nose. "It's pointless arguing with you. Not unlike someone else I know," she added under her breath. I don't think I was supposed to hear it. "I know you first years are still relatively new, but really, how do you expect to progress if you keep up this kind of juvenile behaviour? Failing academically won't be very funny for you in the long run."

"Um, actually …" our teacher said from the seat he'd squeezed into at his desk. It wasn't the toilet seat – I had enough decency to leave him with some dignity. "Hyoudou is … problematic, to put it politely, but in the few tests we've done so far he's come out on top of every single one."

I didn't realise it was possible to stun Shitori-senpai into silence until the teacher finished that sentence, but it happened. She always seemed like the type to have a well-educated answer to everything, so seeing her with no response like that was something of a novelty. I also couldn't help but feel a swell of pride. Despite how insane I was driving him so early on in the year, my teacher couldn't think of anything bad to say about my academic achievements.

"… I see," Shitori-senpai said, at last, giving me a look. It was different from the looks she usually gave me, but only subtly. "That is unexpected. No offence."

I shrugged. "Just because I like to have a laugh and keep everyone in high spirits doesn't mean I'm stupid," I said. "What's the problem with having fun if I can?"

"… I'll leave you to it, then." Her eyes sharpened at all of us. "Get back to class."

We all clamoured to comply.

As we got into the classroom, I noticed that the teacher had found what else I'd done for him. His face was on the interactive whiteboard at the front of the class, being sent to us through the webcam I'd set up on his computer. Another webcam sat in front of the interactive whiteboard, sending him an image of us as well as allowing him to hear us. I had put a lot of thought into a prank that would still let us to get on with our school work.

"So, sensei, what are we doing today?" I asked grinning.

"Just give me a second …" said the teacher, struggling to rifle through the drawers of his desk.

I was back on form.

And it felt fantastic.

Earlier in the year …

"You'll do fine, little bro," Ise-nii assured me as he walked me to Kuoh Academy for the first time, for my first day of high school. "It's just like middle school, except you're a year older. Just keep being funny like you did before and you'll be popular in no time. And if that smile slips, just think of the oppai. That's what I do!"

"Of course it is," I muttered. As we approached the school, the building loomed menacingly over me. "I'm sure I'll be fine," I said louder, with confidence I didn't have.

In truth, I was terrified. Since he had left middle school himself, Ise-nii's taste for women had grown to consume most of his personality. Damn that dirty old bastard, I thought bitterly, thinking of the old shithead that encouraged Ise-nii's behaviour to begin with. Anyone with that sort of perverted attitude should have been on a watch list long before he was allowed to interact with children. As it stood, however, Ise-nii's perversions had taken over quite a lot, which worried me since that sort of behaviour would no doubt build him a reputation.

A reputation that I, being his younger brother, would have to try my damnedest to crawl the hell out of as soon as possible.

People are shit like that. I would be guilty until proven innocent; I was sure of it.

"Hey, where you going, Shin?" Ise-nii asked as I continued walking even after he'd stopped to talk to his friends.

"I have to get a … point across to my sensei," I explained with my trademark grin, though it was somewhat shakier than usual. I kept on walking, checking the note I had in my pocket to tell me which classroom was mine.

I entered the classroom and immediately made a beeline for the sensei's desk. I reached into the pocket of my blazer and picked out several drawing pins, placing them on the sensei's chair, face-up, so that the sensei would sit on them when they arrived, assuming they didn't look, which most people didn't, I'd found. It was terrific how careless adhering to routine made people.

"You shouldn't do that," said a flat female voice, startling me.

I swung around to see a girl I hadn't noticed upon entering the room. Her snow-white hair dazzled my eyes, and she was pretty cute. "Why not?" I asked. "I'm just politely establishing what our sensei will be dealing with all year, that's all."

"If you last all year, you mean."

"Ooh." I mimed being shot. "Shots fired! You've got quite the sharp sense of wit, haven't you?"

"If by that you mean common sense and intolerance for idiots, then yes."

The grin on my face grew far more genuine. "I like you." I moved and took the seat next to her. I bowed my head. "Hi, my name's—"

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

Almost as soon as the bell rang, other students began pouring into the classroom. They must have been waiting just in the corridor outside. I flopped in my chair, disappointed I didn't get to complete my introduction and learn this girl's name in conversation rather than in roll call, which would happen once everyone was seated.

The sensei came in not long after and stood in the centre of the front of the room. "All rise," he said, and we did. "Bow." We did. "Be seated." We sat.

Then he went and, just as I predicted, sat down at his desk without looking.

"OW!" he exclaimed as he shot up from his chair. He looked down, saw the drawing pins, and glared around the classroom as he brushed them from his seat. "Which of you is responsible for this?" Nobody answered. "Well?"

I held my laughter in as long as I could, but the sight of him picking out some drawing pins that had gotten stuck in his behind broke me down. I started cackling under my breath, which he immediately noticed.

"You!" he said, pointing down at me. "Stand up." I did. "What's your name, boy?"

"Hyoudou, sensei," I said. "Shintaro Hyoudou."

Just as I feared, the whispers started. These were all first-years like me, so they didn't know my brother themselves, but they had been warned. "My sister warned me about a Hyoudou," one girl whispered to another, not subtle in the least. "She says he's some sort of lecherous beast."

"But it can't be this Hyoudou, can it?" her friend whispered back. "He's in our year."

I felt myself turning scarlet from embarrassment, something which the sensei smiled at. He clearly felt the rumour mill was punishing me enough. "Sit back down, and don't do anything like this again."

"Of course not, sensei," I lied through my teeth.

"Told you," said the girl as I sat down.

"That you did," I responded, a bit quieter than before since I hadn't yet recovered from my embarrassment. "But you can't say it wasn't funny."

"It wasn't funny."

"Ouch." I once again mimed being shot. "So what do you find funny?"

"Not that."

Once again, I started grinning. "Well, then I'll just have to see if I can figure it out."

"Please don't."

"Too late for that, Snow White-chan."

She sighed. "Don't call me that. My name is Koneko Toujou."

"Okay, then, Toujou-chan. Mark my words, by the end of the year, I guarantee I'll get a laugh out of you."

"Good look with that." She turned away from me dismissively.

As the class got started, I couldn't help occasionally glancing at her from the corner of my eye. I promised myself at that moment that I would make her laugh by the end of my first year.

I was riding that buzz the whole way through the school day. Koneko-chan kept scolding me, though it was a lot lighter than it used to be. Asia, bless her innocent soul, didn't seem to understand what I had done. I didn't have every period of the day with my homeroom teacher, but I heard later on that he spent the whole school day teaching out of that bathroom. Now that's what I call a successful bit of hi-jinx.

Walking to the clubroom with a girl on each arm was the icing on the cake of a beautiful day.

"Hello, you three," Akeno-san greeted us as we entered the room. She and Kiba-kun were both in there, but there was no sign of Ise-nii or Buchou. "You look like you're enjoying yourself," Akeno-san commented on the look on my face.

"What's not to enjoy?" I asked. "I'm back in my rhythm, and I'm walking around school like a movie star. Life is good."

"Then you should be in the mood for a contract," she said. "There's one waiting, and you seem jovial right now, so you might get a good reaction from the client."

"Right you are, my Queen," I said, mock bowing as Asia and Koneko-chan released my arms. Calling Akeno-san "my Queen" reminded me that Buchou was my King, and having Buchou as King and Akeno-san as Queen … that word association put quite the yuri fantasy in my head. As I quickly stepped into the magic circle, I tried to get my throbbing erection under control before it teleported me to the client.

As the circle began to glow, I remembered something.

"Hey, Koneko-chan!" I called before the light could swallow me up. "Let's go on that date tonight, okay?"

I teleported before I could hear her response.

Third Person POV

A week into her first year of high school, Koneko was wondering why she chose to hang out with Hyoudou willingly.

"A blind man walked into a bar," he started with another of his dumb jokes. "Ouch."

"Hilarious," she said with no sincerity at all.

"I know it is," he said insufferably.

Her mind wandered back to that first day. She had gone to class early, wanting to avoid the crowd that would inevitably rush in upon the opening bell. When Shintaro Hyoudou had entered, she had at first assumed he had a similar idea, but then he started putting those drawing pins on the sensei's chair, and she knew immediately that this was the kind of guy who considered himself the class clown. But then she had scolded him, and she'd seen badly-hidden nervousness all over his face.

That had made sense once the class started whispering after he revealed his name. By now, she knew that he was the clownish type, but there was still some part of him that was trying desperately to escape his brother's reputation. She knew how that felt, to a more extreme degree than he could understand, but it was that sentiment that brought her back to spending time with him every single lunchtime.

Which she sometimes regretted. At least he wasn't doing puns today.

Not many, anyway.

"What's the opposite of opposite?" he asked. She blanched. "Consider yourself bamboozled!"

Odd though it was, that stupid joke sparked a thought in her head. "Why are you doing this?" she asked.

"Doing what?" he asked, with a tilt of the head.

"Trying so hard to make me laugh," she clarified. "You've been trying all week … When will it stop?"

"Never."

"Why?"

"Because you look like you have a nice smile," he said, causing her to suck in a breath as a slight pink came to her cheeks. Even though what he was saying should have been embarrassing, there was no red on his face, just complete sincerity. "When I first came into the classroom, you were sitting on your own. Your friends are all in that club of yours, right? In different years?" She nodded. "You looked lonely sitting there, and even though everyone else says you look cool and emotionless, I know melancholy when I see it. Happy isn't something you are a lot, is it?"

"Not everyone is like you, Hyoudou," she said.

"True. And I'm not happy all the time, either, but I try to be. And I try to make other people happy, too." Now he went a bit red, knowing how this next part was going to sound. "I want to make you happy, Toujou-chan. You deserve to smile, too."

"…"

She was unprepared for that to be his answer. Her face went red, much like his. "… Koneko," she said after a moment. He looked confused. "You can call me Koneko."

What appeared on his face then was not a grin, but a smile. "Okay, Koneko-chan," he said softly. "You can call me Shin."

"… Shin-kun, then."

First Person POV – Shintaro Hyoudou

"Gremory Devils' Dildo Delivery!" I announced as I arrived at the client's house. "Any time, any place, any hole! How may I help you this fine afternoon?"

The guy who summoned me was an average-looking college student who looked like acne hadn't been kind to him through puberty, but I'm above mocking people over their appearance, thank you very much. He was gawping at me with an expression that told me this man was probably just fucking around and hadn't expected the flier to do anything. Still, that was no reason not to have some fun with him.

"Going by how wide it's open, I'm guessing the hole will be the mouth," I said, keeping up with my opening line. "I'm guessing you'll be after a more flexible model so it can go down the throat easier?"

"W-W-Wait!" he said, getting to his feet in a hurry. "H-Hold on a sec, I d-don't want any of your d-d-dildos!"

"That's fine. I don't have any."

"…"

"… Is this an amazed silence, or are you just disappointed I don't have the merchandise?"

"Fuck you, asshole."

"No, no, no, that's not how it works. I'm just the delivery boy. They'd be for fucking your asshole."

"Oh, God, just stop!" he pleaded with me.

I decided to take pity on him. "Okay, in all seriousness, hi. I'm a Devil of the Gremory household. That flier wouldn't have worked unless there was some real desire behind it, no matter whether you thought it was the real thing or not. So, good sir, what can I do for you this evening? I warn you that if it's anything kinky, you'll have to provide the protection."

"Yeah, do you do assassinations?" he asked. "'Cause I'm starting to want to put a hit on myself."

"Now, now, there's no need for that. Though this is a new record. I've been told my jokes are painful, but I don't think they've ever driven anyone to suicide before. Look," I leaned up against the wall, "what did you think when you summoned me? There has to have been something. Come on, man, my boss will ride my ass if I don't get a contract. Hopefully not in the literal sense, or else Ise-nii might get a bit jealous."

"I, uh, I just thought that I wanted to see if it was real …"

"Oh. Well, then. I guess my job's done. If you'll just give me a sec to get the bill …"

"N-No! Wait!" My client stood up rapidly as I moved to check the device on my wrist, hoping for an easy payday this evening. I looked up at him, a bit disappointed. It looked like I might have to do something after all. "I, I have questions! If you want a contract, then make it answering me! Please!"

I sighed, ready to turn him down outright to prevent too much knowledge of the supernatural from getting into human hands – at least, to avoid everything I knew from getting into human hands. I didn't know how much I knew in comparison to what there was, so I didn't think it worth the risk. Then I got an idea. A brilliant idea. The grin grew across my face even as I answered him. "All right, then. A little question and answer session is what you want, is it? Okay. That will be our contract."

"Awesome!" the guy said enthusiastically. "Okay, I'll just, uh, just get some stuff. Wait here a sec!" With that, he ran out of the room. I could hear him rummaging through some stuff a few rooms over. After a couple of minutes, he came back in with a laptop. He opened it up. YouTube was already open, and there was a video already up. "Just before we get onto my questions, I've got this thing here. I wanna know if this video is real or not."

I took a closer look at the screen. The video was titled "Demons Return Missing Child! Totally 100% Real!" The title alone made me doubt the validity of what I was about to see, but this seemed like it would be good to mess with him with. "Boot it up," I invited.

He clicked play.

The video was a news report. Everything about even the first frame made me sure it was fake. The headline was "WOMAN SUCKS AT DRAWING OWN KID" and the woman in question was holding a terrible drawing of what I could only assume was her child. It was just a round head with a cap, two dots for eyes, and what I thought were meant to be buck teeth, with the words "missing boy" written on it. My hype for messing with the client went down. If he was stupid enough that he had to ask to know this was fake, this was going to take absolutely no effort on my part.

"Please!" the woman cried. The reporter stood next to her impartially. "If anyone has seen my little Eddie, please contact us and—" She released a little shout of surprise as a bag just the same size and shape as a child fell from somewhere above her and into her arms. The camera panned upwards. There was what appeared to be a hole in the sky, and in that hole were three creatures. They all had red skin and horns.

Well … I thought curiously. They look pretty real even if the rest of this is shittily made.

"You're welcome!" one of the creatures chirped before the rip in the sky closed up of its own accord.

"So?" my client asked. "What do you think?"

"That's real," I lied skilfully. "Once the kid's soul's gone, there's no use for the body, so why keep it? That lot was pretty nice about it, too. Most Devils would've just fed him to the Hellhounds."

That seemed to make him a bit uncomfortable. "This … this isn't gonna cost me my soul, is it?"

I scoffed. "C'mon, man, why would we do that to a client? It's people like you that act as our source of income. Or did you think we have unlimited money just 'cause we come from Hell?"

"R-Right, that makes sense, I guess …" He cleared his throat and opened up Microsoft Word on his laptop. "Okay, then, question time."

"Hit me, big man."

"What's Hell like?"

"Just imagine the E.A. marketing department."

He typed that out. "Okay, then. How about …?"

This continued. I had a lot of fun.

My first time being scolded by Shitori-senpai in the student council room was intense. This was a while before I got used to being under that glare of hers, and it was far more intimidating than any of the senseis in school had managed so far. It was kind of impressive, to be honest.

As I left, my head lowered and my arms were shaking, trying to recover from the verbal lashing I'd just gotten, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Koneko-chan. "Hey," I said, trying and failing to keep the shake out of my voice.

"You'll get used to her, Shin-kun," she said. "Knowing you, you'll be in and out of there so many times a month they'll have to get you your own desk."

"Whatever happened to good old-fashioned detentions?" I asked. "I didn't think the students would be in charge of discipline. What, does she have the headmaster's balls in a vice or something? And is she always that intensely angry? I get the feeling that if she hated someone enough, she'd write 'fuck you' on a note and send it by carrier pigeon!"

Then a noise …

A noise so sweet it stopped me in my tracks …

… the tiniest of chuckles from Koneko-chan.

"You're laughing," I said dumbly.

"I thought you deserved a win today," she said. "It looks like Kaichou gave you PTSD in there."

"So it was a pity laugh?" I tutted. "My dearest Koneko-chan, that simply won't do! No matter how sweet a laugh that was, I shall not stop until I've made you laugh for real!"

"Then keep on trying, Shin-kun. I'm not going anywhere."

"That was fast," Akeno-san commented as I teleported back inside the clubroom. "I didn't take you for the kind of guy who finishes prematurely, Shintaro-kun."

My face went hot. "As much as I always aim to satisfy," I said. Even embarrassed, I couldn't let some dirty humour pass me by, "there's only so long I can take when the contract is basically a Q and A on the supernatural. Don't worry," I added when a look of mild concern crossed her face, "I lied on every single question. Doesn't mean I didn't have any fun with it, though." I giggled to myself mischievously. I flopped out on the sofa.

"You left Koneko all flustered when you teleported out, you know," she went on, sitting down on the sofa next to me. I took immediate notice of how close she was sitting. "Telling a girl you're taking her out tonight just a second before you left …" she laughed, "… I'm a little jealous she's found a guy who can keep things so exciting."

"I kind of have trouble believing you can be jealous of anyone," I admitted. "I mean, you could get any guy you want."

She smiled deviously. "Could I, now?" She nudged closer to me, making my blood pump even harder. "And if that guy is already carrying a torch for my adorable kouhai?" She leaned in close, so close that I could feel the moisture of her breath tickling my ear, and whispered, "I suppose it wouldn't be too bad of me, would it? After all, what kind of a friend would I be if I didn't make sure Koneko's boy toy was ready to rise to the occasion in case things get frisky after your date?" She rested a hand on my thigh, dangerously close to something that was … well, like she said, rising.

"Um …" I muttered, speechless. "I … uh …"

She laughed, removed her hand, and stood up. "But of course I wouldn't do that to Koneko," she said. She looked back and pitched a wink at me. "Yet." Then she walked off to do whatever work she was doing when I arrived.

Good God, that woman goes from "Nice to meet you, ma'am," to "Your son calls me 'mommy,' too" in half a second! I thought, incredibly flustered and now feeling very pent up. Great, now I've got balls bluer than Papa Smurf …

The door to the clubroom opened, and Asia came in. I didn't know where she'd been, but she seemed fine, so there was no need to act all concerned about it. She saw me and her face lit up, but then she frowned a little. "Shin-san … why are you all red?" she asked. She came over and sat down next to me, putting her palm against my forehead. "Do you have a fever?"

"I think he just needs to release some tension," Akeno-san said, amused.

… She drives me crazy in all the right ways … I thought in sexual frustration.

"Can I help at all?" Asia asked.

"No, no, don't worry," I said. "I'll beat it single-handedly."

Thankfully, only Akeno-san got the joke.

I wasn't wearing anything fancy. I was wearing the same clothes I wore when we were tailing Ise-nii and Raynare-san on their date. On reflection, the fact that I wore attire I thought was appropriate for a date to that meant I saw it more as an attempt to hang out with Koneko-chan than any real curiosity over my brother's business. I was so nervous before this that I showed twice, and I was even wearing some of Tou-san's aftershave.

That might have been kind of overkill, I thought. But I want to be at my best for Koneko-chan.

I stood and stared at the small house Koneko-chan lived in. From what Buchou had told me, everyone had one, just a tiny place to live in since everyone needed their privacy. Taking a deep breath, I went over to the front door and knocked.

I heard her coming to the door a few seconds before it opened. "You smell nice," she said as soon as she stepped out.

"Uh, thanks," I said. Her sense of smell must be fantastic to have picked up on the aftershave that quickly … then again, she did smell blood when we went after that Stray Devil, so it's not exactly anything new. "You look pretty," I complimented. She, too, was wearing the same thing she had worn when we tailed my brother. I chose to take that as a good sign meaning what my own choice of clothing also meant.

Her cheeks pinked. "Thank you."

I held out my arm for her. "Sh-Shall we, then?"

"… Yes." She came over and linked her arm with mine, and we started walking.

We walked in silence. I was very conscious of her body's closeness to my own as we walked, with her arms wrapped around mine. Our body warmth mixed even through our clothes. I began to have doubts about myself. What I had planned wasn't exactly some big, romantic gesture; it was just something I thought she would enjoy. But … was she expecting more? Would she be disappointed that I didn't have a full day out planned as Ise-nii did on that date we witnessed? I couldn't bear the thought of her disappointment.

The worry plagued my mind the entire time we walked.

However, the silence as we walked was a comfortable one. The worry was still there, but her very presence comforted me in a way. It was that which assured me I was making the right decision. Koneko-chan filled my being with warmth. When she was with me, no matter what else I might have been worried about … I was at peace.

The darkness of the walk would have been spooky if we didn't A) have super strength, or B) have night vision. This was the first time I had just admired how much that night vision lit up the night. By the time we reached the place I was taking Koneko-chan on our date, the lights on the inside of the building almost tricked me into thinking the site was up in flames.

"A twenty-four-hour café?" said Koneko-chan. There was curiosity in her voice, but no disappointment, which I took as a good sign.

"Not just any twenty-four-hour café, my dear Koneko-chan," I said, letting my inner showman out to play. "This place does some of the best damn sweets this side of Kuoh Town!"

"Shut the fuck up, kid!" someone shouted from somewhere nearby.

"And as you can see, the people of the surrounding area are charmingly dickish," I added.

Koneko-chan's head perked up. "Sweets?"

Hook, line, and sinker, I thought. I'd known about the existence of this place for a while, having come several times during the earlier hours, and I was candid about the quality of their sweet stuff. Bringing Koneko-chan here was something I'd wanted to do for quite a while, but a big part of me wanted to leave it for a special occasion. It was the first place I had thought of when thinking of where to bring her on the date. They say "the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach," so I figured I would try gender-inverting the concept since my best girl had such a sweet tooth. So far so good, don't you dare fuck it up now, Shin.

Obstacle one of three had been cleared. She liked the place. Obstacle two was the food – I needed to see if she liked it.

The staff on the inside were about as miserable-looking as you would expect night shift staff to be, but they were still in customer service mode, so they were courteous and patient with us as we sat down and ordered a couple of drinks to work through while we looked at the menu. I had tea, and she had hot chocolate.

"I like places like this," I said by way of conversation. "Anywhere that's open at night. Nobody's around, so I figure I don't have to put on a show for anybody. I love entertaining, but sometimes even I just need to chill out for a bit. How's the hot chocolate?"

"Nice and sweet," she said, taking another sip. She picked up the little menu. Her expression didn't change, but there was a twinkle in her eyes as she looked it over. "You're right … so many sweets …"

"Order whatever you want," I invited. "It's all on me, and I won't hear a word against the idea. What kind of a date would I be if I didn't pay for your order? I'm quite partial to the triple-chocolate cookies, myself, but the chocolate brownie with vanilla ice cream is just to die for."

The two of us ordered our food. I went with the brownie and ice cream, as I said. Koneko-chan went for a strawberry sundae.

We fell into a silence of the comfortable sort after that, though Koneko-chan soon broke it. "I'm glad you asked me out," she said. "I'm … I'm happy you still want to spend time with me."

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked.

"… I thought you'd rather spend time with Asia," she admitted. The way her face fell broke my heart. "I was … jealous, when you went to all that trouble for her. You never gave up on her. You were so worried that whole time, you didn't talk to me as much, and I thought …" Her voice became little more than a whisper as the next words passed her lips. "… I thought you might like her more than me …"

"No chance," I denied vehemently. I reached across the table and took her hand in my own, drawing a small, startled gasp from her. "Koneko-chan, if I've said it before I've said it a million times, you're my best girl. That's not going to change. It's been that way since we first met, and it's going to stay that way forever if I have anything to say about it." I felt my face heat up. "To be honest, I've liked you … like, really liked you … for quite some time now. I just … I didn't see it, not fully until I became a Devil. I thought about you so much that first day, and it made me realise just how much I love being with you." I took a deep breath and asked the question I'd wanted to ask for quite some time. "Would you … could you see me as b-boyfriend material …?"

There it was. It was out there.

No going back now, Shin, I thought. The confession had taken an enormous weight off my chest, and even though the silence, however brief, was playing havoc with my mind, I felt some ease just knowing that I had finally admitted my feelings to Koneko-chan out loud and to her face. Whatever happened from here, I had grown a pair and made a move.

The worst thing she can say is "no," I tried to encourage myself as I awaited her response. A rejection would hurt, but let's face it, you're not precisely Romeo, are you? You're more of a Mercutio if you're any of them. Just hope it doesn't hit you too hard—

"Yes."

"Sorry?" I asked.

"I said 'yes,'" Koneko-chan repeated. "I would … I would like it if you were my boyfriend, Shin-kun. It would make me happy if I were your girlfriend."

I stared for a moment, and then a smile grew on my face. Not a smirk, as was my default expression, but an honest to Satan smile. The happiness enveloping my body at that moment was like nothing I had ever felt before. "Th-Then …" I took several deep breaths, trying to get myself together. "W-Well, then I guess I'd better ask this officially. Koneko-chan, would you do me the honour of being my girlfriend?"

Then she smiled, and to my immense joy, it was just as real and happy as my own. "Yes, I will," she affirmed.

I gazed into her eyes. My mind was blank save for the joy of the moment. I tenderly stroked the back of her hand with my thumb. We stared at each other like this until our food arrived, at which point we tucked in happily. The food was all the sweeter for the event that had preceded its consumption.

Though not as sweet as Koneko-chan, I found myself thinking.

Like a lovestruck fool, I gazed at my girlfriend for the rest of our meal.

I would just like to take a moment to celebrate the fact that even though lockdown has me bored out of my skull and extremely unmotivated, I still got something done. This pleases me.

I hope you guys found the date okay. I did my best, but I'm not very experienced at writing that sort of thing, so I'll get better. And now Shintaro and Koneko are officially a couple! I appreciate slow-burn romances, but honestly, unless there's some profound psychological reason for it, I'm not one to have two characters who already like each other drag things out. If they want each other and both are capable of admitting it and seeing that the other loves them (even if Shintaro's nervousness makes him doubt it for a moment), then I see no reason to keep things waiting. Though I am aware that the first arc focused enough on Asia that I had to include more Koneko stuff here to justify it, hence the flashbacks, which I hope you liked.

Yes, that was a reference to Helluva Boss during the contract scene. I'm somewhat disappointed in that scene. I wanted to make it funnier, but I couldn't think of anything. Ah well. At least we're back to the plot next time.

You may be surprised by the latest addition to the harem.

Shintaro: Koneko Toujou, Akeno Himejima, Kalawarner, Asia Argento, Sona Sitri,

Issei: Rias Gremory, Raynare, Mittelt,

Don't worry about the harems being tipped too far in Shintaro's favour; Issei's will get bigger as we go along. Also, it's just that with the way I'm doing it, one taking over the other now and then is sort of inevitable.

Now, before I go, I'll answer the review section.

Jacksonion Democracy: Well, it's like I said above, I see no reason to drag things out when two characters like each other and know they like each other; Shintaro is inexperienced in the ways of romance, but he's learning along with the girls, so naturally he'll be shy about it. Yeah, he's typically a sub because of how emotionally vulnerable he is, which also ties into why he likes to keep himself and others laughing and smiling.

Clarent excalibur: Heheh, yeah, that'll be fun to write out.

MentalForge: It'll certainly be something, that's for sure.

Ryujomaru15: It's not just the bones, but everything in his body. Bone, flesh, blood, hair, and eventually other stuff. As you can see, yes, this chapter was the date.

TheBlindSalmon: Thanks. I did initially want Shintaro to fight Dohnaseek. Still, I realised I couldn't do it without taking away Issei's awakening of Boosted Gear, so I settled with Shintaro partaking in a bit of the old Mook Horror Show. The Rating Game will be different from the original, though I won't spoil how. I must respectfully disagree about Gasper – he likes cute things because of Valerie, the cross-dressing itself isn't that big to his character. The fact that he's a shut-in is a more certain aspect of his personality, I think.

Bigguy45: Thank you. I'll update whenever I can, but I work every day but weekends, so no guaranteed schedule, I'm afraid. Shintaro's powers will be explained.

UnsanMusho: Yeah, as I said, the harems will be unveiled over time, as they're already decided in my notes for the story.

DanDrake: Yes, and no. The bone aspect of his powers is undoubtedly similar, but his influence goes beyond just bones.

dasprofil: Thank you! I shall!

A Plexx: Me, too.

Vizard Masky: You might be right, but I won't tell you for definite. Spoilers and such, know what I mean? I came up with the concept myself, but I am taking some inspiration from people with similar powers in other series.

Guest: I'll update older stories when I can.

Oblivious I.J.: I would agree with you there.

Chrono trigger: I will have to disagree with you, respectfully. I think Issei is the closest thing to a realistic teenager we've seen in any harem anime – he thinks with his dick and comes across as kind of dim as a result. He's inexperienced, so that makes him seem like he needs carrying, but he's learning as the series goes on. And he does care about the girls, as evidenced multiple times in the series. I will not give Shintaro the majority of the girls just to spite Issei because I do not hate Issei.

Oblivious I.J.: Heheheh, funny.

Oblivious I.J. (2): I shan't tell until they appear, haha. But I can tell you it's not Millicas. Just … ew.

T-B-R: Don't worry, that'll be addressed. I'm glad you're enjoying it otherwise.

Jacob1999770777: You'll just have to wait and see.

Well, now that that's out of the way, see you guys next time!