Hi :)
I'm baack! I've been wanting to write so badly lately, but believe it or not, college is still very much insane. (Shocker.) I know I shouldn't complain about it as much as I do, because it's really not the worst thing in the world. I'm thankful I have the opportunity to go to college, I just don't like the system, because it's diving me nuts and giving me anxiety. I'm loving this homeschool thing though. More than actual college anyway.
I hope all of you are doing okay. We've been on lockdown for 62 days as of today and I know most of the world is probably going through a somewhat similar situation. The number of coronavirus cases keeps rising to insane numbers, and the thought that we have to multiply that number by at least five… is insane to say the least. I mean, more than 4 million cases already?! Crazy... I know some people are having a really hard time without being able to leave their home. I'm one of those lucky people who actually enjoy this whole staying at home thing, so I really can't complain. I hope all of you are as okay as you can be in the current situation and I hope you're staying safe for your own safety and the safety of others. If anyone is having a hard time and needs someone to talk to or someone to listen, feel free to message me. (Even if you're not having a hard time and you'd just like to talk, please message me. I love talking to you.)
WhyDoIWrite: Once again, thank you so so much! You always leave the kindest reviews. I looove it when I recognize usernames from the Chicago PD community, especially if we end up obsessing over the same characters too XD It makes it feel like home. I'm really glad you've enjoyed this story so far and obviously I hope you continue to in the future :)
Navyfan: Hahah I'm glad you enjoyed the popcorn comment XD It just popped into my head just as I was trying to figure out how to end the chapter, and I wasn't sure whether it was too much or not. So, I'm really glad you appreciated it. And thank you so so much for the compliment :) It really means a lot. And I'm glad you like the idea of me writing back to the reviews. It does take a while to respond to everyone if I haven't posted in a long time, but it's worth it in the end. I love talking to all of you, so I really wish there was a more practical way to respond to reviews. Until then, I'll keep responding like this :)
larutanrepus89: Thank you so much :) And congratulations! I hope all of you are still doing okay. I totally understand what you mean. I have sooo many ideas about what to write, and it drives me crazy that I can't afford to take the time to actually sit down and do it. On top of that I'm the type of person who needs to write the whole thing from beginning to end in one go. God forbid I have to stop writing in the middle of the chapter, because then I get stuck and don't know how to continue. That's exactly what happened with this chapter, which is why it took me forever to actually finish it. I hope you get to finish some of your stories too, they're amazing :)
YuukiAsuna41: Welcome to the "obsessing over TK" club XD I'm really glad you enjoyed my stories :) I hope you're healthy and not drowning in work from college anymore. I know how that feels…
FlyingWolf29: Guess what? I'm back again! Thank you so much, I really appreciate it :) I totally agree that there should be more TK whump in this world XD Obviously I know you already know this, because you can read my mind, but I decided to do another storyline before I actually do the one about tornados. It's coming at some point though, because I kinda have a thing for tornados… (I promise I'm not crazy. They scare the crap out of me in real life. I sort of had the pleasure to experience one when I was about 10 and let me tell you it was not fun.) Especially if those tornados happen to be combined with TK. (Maybe I am crazy after all XD) And oh boy were the last three episodes EPIC! I was losing my mind as I was watching them! Sooooo cool! First the shooting thing and then the flipped bus thing and then the northern lights and then I was dead! That's soo much to write about! I can't wait! Okay, fangirl moment over XD
Sara: Thank you so so much and you're very welcome :) I'm really glad you liked the previous chapter. I have to knock on wood, but for the most part my family's doing okay. I hope you and your family and friends are doing okay too. It's a scary time.
shadow1314: Thank you so much! I really wish there were more TK whump stories too. I would really like to write some original stories too, so hopefully I find the time to do it soon. As for prompts – they are always welcome. I'll definitely keep your idea in mind, because it's great and I love it! As of right now, I think you might be getting your request fulfilled very soon :)
Guest: Thank you so so much, you're so sweet. I'm really glad you liked my version of the episode and once again thank you for all the positive feedback. It means a lot! Oh, and I'll try my best to cover all of the big moments from the episodes. I've always wanted to do that with almost any show that I watch, but I'm always way too late to the game. I have a tendency to join the fandom 6 seasons later than everybody else, which makes it kind of hard to cover everything. Maybe I'll manage to keep my promise this time :)
markylannister: Thank you so much! I adore the father-son relationship TK and Owen have. It honestly makes my heart happy! And thank you for asking about my mom, I really appreciate it. She's doing really well so far. I hope you and your family are doing okay too :)
Jillian2232115: I know right?! I keep checking if the season is actually over and I still can't accept the fact that it is. I. Want. More. No, I need more. If the producers decided to make a whole 8-hour-long episode only about TK, I really wouldn't mind. I still can't get over how adorable he is. And thank you so much for the compliment :) It means a lot.
Betsy: Thank you so much :) I don't know why, but I kind of wanted to see something evolve with those tornados too. I might take that storyline on in the next chapter. We'll see where it takes me. You're gonna get your tornados eventually, I'm sure of it.
NetMyne01: Aww, thank you so much! I really appreaciate it.
Guest: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like my overly dramatic take on these XD What can I say, I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie… I'm just glad there are people like me out there, who like the overly dramatic things as well. We make a great team!
Guest: I can most certainly make reverse storylines where TK is the "uninjured one" if you would be interested in seeing a worried TK. I loved Owen's move from episode 1x04 too, even though I kinda like seeing TK get into dangerous situations. I'm hopeless XD I'll try my best to keep TK somewhat safe for a chapter and make him suffer emotionally (in the least creepy way possible XD).
Kay: Thank you so much! I looove the relationship between TK and Owen, so I'm really glad you enjoyed my take on that :) And I definitely still take prompts. I think your idea is great, so I'm sure you'll be getting an emergency bad sick TK in the future. With a worried dad and team, of course.
Guest: Your wish is my command. The next chapter is up!
Manna01: Thank you so much! My updates may take forever, but don't worry, I'm gonna keep writing and posting for a long time. At least that's my plan.
Guest: Thank you so so much! I' really appreciate you saying that :) And as you can see, the next chapter is finally up. Yaay me XD
BobWhite: Surprise! It may have taken me almost two months, but the next chapter is finally up!
mysterious-lady-n-black: Thank you so much! I've gotten quite a few requests to write about TK getting shot. I promise, I'll write my take on that storyline. (More information on that in the paragraph below.)
Guest: Aww, I miss writing and interacting with all of you too. Believe it or not, I've finally posted again.
Oh wow, that was very likely the most reviews I've ever gotten. You're amazing and incredibly sweet. Thank you so much! I can't even begin to explain how much it means to me. In my experience, some communities on here tend to be way more positive than others (I'm not here to name names or judge), and I think that this is definitely one of the most positive ones I've been a part of. I couldn't be more thankful to be on this journey with all of you. Thank you for spreading positivity. This world needs more of that (as cheesy as it sounds).
Even though I've been getting by far the most requests for my take on TK getting shot, I kind of wanna wait for the right inspiration to hit me. I wanna make that storyline even more epic and insane than all of the other ones, so I'm thinking of making a multiple chapter and expanding it a little bit. What would you think about that?
Well, that being said (I'm sorry to disappoint), we're going to stay in episode 1x03 for a little longer. Do you see where I'm going with this? I hope you like it :)
Mr. Tyler Kennedy Strand
Part 1
TK's P.O.V.
Massive headache? Check.
Sore ribs? Check.
A little bit of a metallic-tasting burning sensation in the corner of my lip? Check.
A whole bunch of painful spots all over the place, threatening to turn into beautiful bruises soon? Check, check, check.
What can I say… oops?
In my defence, Judd provoked me. Or I might've been the one doing the provoking, I don't even know.
The only thing I need right now is to hopefully get home to my own comfy bed and my soft fluffy blanket, where I can pretend the world doesn't exist, all without my dad noticing and finding out about this little event. Or anybody else for that matter. I actually think I'm doing quite well so far. I just might make it-
Ouch.
Now that was not nice, was it? Slamming my things on the desk like that. That had to have been loud enough for half of Austin to hear. Who's this idiot of a cop who did-
Oh, come on. I just had to say it, didn't I? And now I jinxed it.
"Seriously?" I say, giving Carlos the nastiest glare I can manage at the moment. Which is probably not a lot, because everything I do makes my head hurt like crazy, but whatever.
"Austin is a small town, TK" he says, slowly sitting down behind the desk, giving me some type of a look that has disappointment written all over it. I, on the other hand, hope that my face has don't -dare-to-bug-me-unless-you-wanna-lose-an-eye-because-I'm-pissed-off written all over it. In capital letters. And an exclamation mark at the end. "Or should I say Tyler Kennedy."
"Ugh." Oh, yeah. I definitely jinxed it. Great.
I decide to let my face sink into the icepack once again, hoping that the cold will at least make the nasty headache go away, if it can't restore what's left of my dignity. It does a great job of hiding me from the world though, which is honestly very welcome right now.
"Bummer about getting arrested. People might find out you real name, which marks the first actual thing I've learned about you."
Well wasn't that a nasty comment? Makes me sound like an ass. I can already feel the rage I felt before the fight rising inside my chest once again.
"Isn't you processing me like a conflict of interest or something?" I spit out, without a second thought. Thinking hurts, alright? Cut me some slack.
Carlos leans forward, carefully unlocking the handcuffs on my wrists, making sure not to touch my split knuckles in the process. Small mercies.
"The good news is, neither of your new friends want to talk about that little scuffle tonight, and since you blew a 0.0, we're not even giving you a drunk and disorderly." He keeps avoiding eye contact, but then again, so do I. He pushes the incredibly noisy plastic bag with my belongings closer to me, before finally saying those beautiful words. "You're free to go."
"And what's the bad news?" I ask, even though I really don't care at this point. I just wanna get out of here as soon as possible and pretend I don't exist.
"The bad news is that means you did this with a clear head."
Oh. Right. Didn't think about that.
Carlos leans closer to me, finally looking straight into my eyes. "I'm not trying to be your boyfriend, or even your friend if you're not into it. But you should talk to someone about why you felt compelled to do something so suicidal."
Oh, that stings. The s-word in all its glory. If he only knew…
"Got a little crud there, by the way" he says, slamming a box of tissues in front of me and pointing at the corner of his lip. Can he seriously not be a little more gentle with innocent objects that have no desire whatsoever to make me feel like I've built a skyscraper on top of my head?
I do my best to grab one of the tissues as dramatically as I possibly can and make sure to roll my eyes in the process too, before gently dabbing it on my lips.
"Other side" Carlos adds, without even looking at me. Come on, really? I was sick the day we were learning about which side is right and which side is left. 22 years later, I still can't tell them apart. Let alone do this "his left is actually my right" thing he has going on. Or is it the other way around and his left is my… See, now I'm confused. Great.
I give him a death stare and move over to the other side of my lips.
"Stop. Just let me."
I'm not entirely sure whether I should just make a run for it or actually let him help me, but my normally catlike skills seem to be a little on the slow side today, so his gentle hands land on my skin before I can move out of his reach.
I swallow what's left of my dignity and thank him, accidentally making eye contact with him in the process. Which suddenly makes me realise he seems kind of off.
Oh.
Hello guilt. Forgot you existed. Damn it. I have to make this right, don't I?
Why can't my conscience just be on a spontaneous vacation for a day? No? Okay. It was worth a try.
I carefully lean a little closer to him and do my best not to look like I'm about to bite his head off.
"I'm sorry I went crazy on you the other night."
"I'm a cop. I'm used to crazy."
Wow, Carlos, that's just what I needed to hear. Good job. Argh! Use your words, TK. Use your words. Throwing a tantrum isn't gonna achieve anything. It wasn't his fault. He couldn't have known.
"Look, I just went through a really bad breakup. Like, nuclear bad." I whisper, taking a second trying to determine if I'm actually about to say this. Yup, I guess I am. "And then I relapsed."
"You mean with me?"
What?! No! What is he, crazy?
"No..." God, he can't even look at me. Now I feel really bad. How do I put this…? Straightforward, I guess. "I mean with substances."
There goes the band aid. Is he gonna freak out and never talk to me again or is he gonna be the exception?
It takes him a second to process the information, which seems like an eternity to me. And the freaked out wide bambi eyes aren't making this any better.
"Right" he finally says after a while. "Which explains your reaction to the champagne…"
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Carlos The Exception. Oh, my chest already feels so much lighter.
"I'm such an idiot. I'm- I'm sorry-"
"No, it's fine, okay?" I quickly interrupt him, before he can go too far down the guilt hole. I know none of this is his fault. "I mean, ever since I've gotten here, it's just- it's just grey. And I just feel numb all the time. I guess I just- I wanted to feel something."
As soon as I say it, I realize how ridiculous I probably sound. He's looking at me with so much concern it almost looks like he's seen a ghost. Or maybe that's because I just dropped the suicidal thoughts bomb on him.
Well, either way that's my cue to leave.
This has been way too much for one night and judging by the horrified look plastered on his face, he isn't taking it as well as I thought he was. But honestly, what did I expect? He's a cop. And I did drugs. Not the best combination, is it?
How could I be so stupid?
Did I honestly believe that he was just gonna be okay with this? Yeah right, TK. Guess again.
Wanting to get out of here as soon as humanly possible, I quickly grab my things from the incredibly noisy bag with some serious attitude and lack of coordination.
And then I proceed to stand up way too fast.
The second I'm up, black spots start dancing all over the room and I barely manage to casually steady myself on the edge of the desk, silently praying that Carlos didn't notice.
"Judging by that lip, I'd say mission accomplished" he says, completely oblivious to the fact that I'm just about three seconds away from puking all over his desk. Or maybe I'm about three seconds away from yelling in his face. Not sure yet.
Somehow, I manage to play the part and pretend that I'm perfectly fine by carefully swallowing my own vomit.
"You really busting my balls right now?" I say, trying my best to keep the boiling anger locked up inside of an imaginary cage.
"Yeah, I suppose I am" he says with a ridiculous grin, probably wanting to make me laugh it off. But I'm way beyond that.
This impressive rage building up inside of me has reached the heights of Mount Everest and I'm honestly starting to expect smoke to erupt from my ears any second now. You know, like a volcano. Or that Harry Potter scene.
Wait, what was I doing a second ago?
Oh yeah, I was leaving. Well, trying to anyway. My ability to focus is… something.
I try to give Carlos another deadly glare, but only manage to make my headache spike to Empire State Building levels, so I quickly close my eyes to hopefully nullify my stupid idea.
It doesn't quite work.
Instead, my head manages to create a lovely buzzing sound that completely blocks out the outside world.
This is not good.
But I guess I sort of got my wish to hide from the world and pretend it doesn't exist. I couldn't see or hear anything right now, even if I tried to.
Suddenly, something touches my shoulder and makes me jump like a cat being spooked by a shadow. It probably looks as comical as it sounds. Or maybe it doesn't. I'm still mostly oblivious to the world.
But the buzzing isn't the only noise I hear anymore. There's this other noise, but I can't quite make out what it is… Maybe if I opened my eyes just a little, so I could see where it's coming from...
"ey. TK, can you hear me?"
Jesus! That scared me.
When did Carlos get up? He was sitting behind his desk two seconds ago, and now he's standing so close to me I actually see two of him instead of one.
"TK?" he asks again, even more concern in his voice, gently squeezing my shoulder to get me to talk. "TK, are you sure you're okay? Do you want me to get a paramedic to check you out?"
"What?" I ask, blinking rapidly, trying to get the double vision to leave. No paramedics. That's a definite no on that. I have no desire to ruin my night even more. "Oh, yeah. M'fine. Just sleepy."
I can see he's studying me carefully, still not letting go of my arm and probably trying to determine if my obvious lie should be a cause for concern or not. I give him a little smile, to try and get him to let it go.
"How about you sit down for a second and I can get you some water" he offers, only adding to my already cranky mood.
"Said m'fine" I whine, yanking my arm out of his grasp and causing myself to stumble backwards. He jumps forward, ready to catch me if needed, though I manage to steady myself before he has to touch me.
"Come on, Tyler, you really don't look so good. At least let me take you home-"
"Don't. Call me that." I know that I'm basically hissing at him by this point, but unless he wants me to bite his head off, he'd better back off.
He goes to say something as he reaches for my shoulder, but I duck out of the way just in time for him to miss me.
"Leave me alone" I bark, only now noticing the crowd we've gained over the last few minutes. There must be at least ten cops staring at either me or Carlos, which makes this even more awkward than it was.
I can tell that I hurt his feelings, but I honestly couldn't handle having another conversation right now. The sole task of getting mf legs to work is demanding enough.
I manage to take a few steps, before full on crashing into someone else's desk. I'm sure that's gonna bruise. Another officer steps closer to me, trying to offer help, but I wave him off.
Carlos must've given up on trying to reason with me, because I can't hear him talking anymore.
It's just me, my impressive headache and my uncoordinated limbs.
Damn it.
I just remembered that I came here in a police car. Which means I get to walk home.
Great.
It's gonna be a long way home.
To be continued…
So… I was trying my best not to do this, but as you can see, I'm splitting this chapter into two parts (or more, depending on where this journey takes us). I've been wanting to post a new chapter so badly and some of you have been asking me to update for weeks, so I figured half of a chapter was better than nothing. I hope you don't hate me. At least I tried not to leave you on the meanest cliff-hanger possible. (If you've read my Chicago PD story, you know that I love a good cliff-hanger. I can be one of those mean writers who leave you hanging in the most impossible spots ever. I honestly have no excuse, I just love the adrenaline XD)
I hope you enjoyed the first part of this chapter. Obviously, it was based on the dialogue from the show, with a little bit of a Nessie twist to it. I really hope you liked it, even though it didn't have very much whump in it. Yet. (*laughs like an evil villain*) I'm not entirely sure where I'm going to go with this story, so if you have any requests, feel free to let me know. I do have a general idea of what's about to happen though, so I can't promise that I'm gonna grant all of your wishes.
As always, prompts are more than welcome (To those of you who've sent me requests already, I hear you and I'm planning on writing what you've asked for. I promise.), as are reviews. I love interacting with you and I really do care what you guys think. Thank you for reading and really hope I manage to post the next chapter sooner than the last time. If not, feel free to blame my college XD
Once again, I hope you're healthy and safe. Until next time, whenever that will be.
Love, N
PS: Oh my god I just remembered. WE'RE GETTING ANOTHER SEASOOOON! I almost cried when I saw the Instagram posts on Easter. I have a really high bunk bed and I sat up so fast I actually hit my head on the ceiling. It was great! The bruise was definitely worth it though XD
PS2: (In the next 5 paragraphs I go on a very long rant about my current health situation. If you'd prefer not to read that, please feel free to skip the rest. Thank you.)
It's been forever since I've started writing this. Literally. Exactly 5 weeks as of today. I know the exact date, because that was the last "normal" day before I woke up with quite scary pain in my chest and realised I had a low-grade fever too. No other symptoms though. (Kock on wood.) No cough, no runny nose. Nothing whatsoever. I had no clue what it could possibly be, since I hadn't left my apartment in 24 days. Like at all. Not even to go on a walk. Well, I did take a 2-minute walk to take out the trash twice, but what are the odds of me actually catching something that fast? I am considered more likely to get coronavirus because of another autoimmune disease I have, but still. This whole coronavirus thing is just one big question mark. Not even the symptoms are the same in every case, so how was I supposed to know, what this was?
I got tested for coronavirus 10 days later and guess what? I was negative. (In case anyone's wondering, it's not nearly as unpleasant as it looks.) All the bloodwork came back negative too, so the doctor went out on a limb and put me on antibiotics for no particular reason. Obviously, that achieved absolutely nothing, since I didn't need them in the first place. I then had my blood taken again. Twice. And guess what? Everything was still negative. And then I had to get my blood taken again. Are you keeping score? That's a whole lot of poking for someone who hates needles with a passion. I haven't had my blood taken this many times in the last 5 years all together. Anyway all of the tests came back negative, so I still have no clue what's happening.
It's been an eventful five weeks to say the least. I still have a fever, which is getting kind of ridiculous. (Yes, that makes it 35 days of fever in case you're counting.) My chest stopped hurting after 3 days, which was great, until it started hurting again 25 days later. And then it stopped hurting again 3 days after that. I'm thoroughly confused at this point. The fever is really starting to get annoying because I'm dead on my feet most of the time. Not to mention the chest pain thing, which is probably one of the scariest things of this whole situation (health wise).
I'm well aware of the possibility that the coronavirus test was a false negative, and if that's the case I'd honestly be happy to know what this is and that it'll pass eventually. I'm beyond thankful that I haven't infected my mom with whatever this is. I would it myself alive if I did. I'm also very familiar with anxiety, but my gut's telling me that this is not it. I haven't been this happy in months if not years, because I get to be at home with my mom instead of a college dorm where everything's stressful. So I really don't quite see how this could be caused by anxiety. But I could be wrong. Apparently my heartbeat has been kinda fast, which has never happened to me before (the first time it was 142 and the second time it was 107), but other than that I have zero answers. If anyone has any advice on what I could do, please let me know. Our healthcare system is a very interesting thing, so I should probably figure out a way to help myself. Okay I'm done ranting XD Thank you for putting up with my mysterious brain and once again, I apologise for the longest author's note in the history of me.