Chapter 9 – Broken China
A/N: Sorry this is so incredibly late! We're both doing Master's degrees and got swamped with uni work, but we should be back to having a regular schedule now and will be updating every two weeks. Thanks for being patient with us – enjoy the chapter
Trigger warning: lots of death!
12th August 1979
Ever since his parents' deaths, James had noticed a slight change in how some of his friends acted around him. They were a little more careful, more considerate. A lot of the time it was irritating, but James didn't mind the midweek dinners that had become somewhat of a habit at Frank and Alice's house. It had started out as just him and Lily, but soon enough it had become a group occasion, with half of the Order piling into their dining room every week, armed with cans of beer and trays of food.
It was nice – normal even.
James had never been a huge fan of normal, but walking into the house and seeing his friends – Sirius, Remus and Peter – sitting around the dining table with Marlene, the Prewetts and Kingsley, filled him with a sense of warmth that was so often lacking these days.
Frank took his and Lily's coats, Alice pushed goblets of wine into their hands, and they joined the others around the cramped table.
"Kingsley!" James said eagerly as he slid into the seat beside him, "I hear you finished your training."
"Fully qualified," Kingsley nodded proudly. "I just wish the Ministry were more focused on looking for Voldemort. Especially after what happened in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement in April."
"I know," James frowned.
"We can do much more with the Order, I think," Kingsley shrugged. "If we're going to make a difference anywhere, it's here."
"Speaking of which," Frank said, reappearing with a plate of sandwiches in his hand, "well done on the mission the other day, you two." He nodded at Lily and James. "I can't believe you managed to trap Dolohov like that. With any luck he'll be put away for a long time."
"Or they'll be able to get some information out of him," Sirius put in. He regarded James from the other side of the table, pointing a sandwich as him, "I never liked the bloke anyway."
"You never liked any of the Slytherins," Peter said reasonably.
"With good reason," Sirius said.
Shaking his head at his boyfriend, Remus plucked the sandwich out of Sirius' hand and took a bite, "what about your cousin, Andromeda?" he asked.
"Hey," Sirius said, frowning at his stolen sandwich. He grabbed another from the tray. "She doesn't count."
"Mhmm," Remus said. "Of course not."
There was a knock at the door, and while Alice hurried out to answer it, James addressed Frank. "Anyway, you guys have been doing great work too," he said. "Moody told me all about the information you and Alice got from those Giants the other day. It's going to help so much."
"Yeah," Frank said bashfully. "I hope so."
There was a lull in the conversation, and James turned to Lily, watching as she chatted with Marlene. It was nice to see her enjoying herself, James thought, nice that they could all share this time together outside of the Order meetings; just a group of friends having fun.
When Alice returned, she was talking enthusiastically with someone who James hadn't seen since his wedding.
"Benjy!" he exclaimed.
Benjy glanced around at the room full of people, all of whom had looked up at his entrance. Smiling nervously, he waved his hand in greeting and said, "hi guys."
"We didn't know you were coming," Lily told him, standing up to hug him.
"Fabian invited me last minute," he explained, smiling over at him.
"Thought it was better to ease him into the Order with food and wine than Moody's usual spiel," Fabian explained.
"How have you all been anyway?" Benjy asked, dragging over another chair and positioning himself between Fabian and Remus.
"Actually," Frank grinned. "Alice and I have some news."
"Not yet!" Alice hissed from the kitchen. "Help me with these."
Frank obligingly helped her carry in several more plates of food, and the two of them finally sat down, smiling around the table at their friends.
"Do you want to tell them?" Alice asked her husband giddily, "or should I?"
"You do it," Frank insisted, taking her hand.
James watched curiously as Alice nodded her head, turning to them with excitement in her hazel eyes.
"Well," she said, "Nothing's happened yet so no need to get over excited – but Frank and I have been trying for a baby!"
The two of them stared excitedly around the table, but for a moment their friends remained silent.
Surprisingly, it was Marlene who spoke first. "That's fantastic," she said, with more sincerity than James would have expected from her. "You'll make great parents."
Immediately there was a chorus of agreement from the others, and James saw Sirius clap Frank on the shoulder, muttering words of encouragement.
Then he felt Lily shift beside him.
"Isn't it dangerous?"
"What?" Alice asked, leaning forwards in her seat and gazing curiously at Lily.
"Having a baby," Lily said, an edgy of panic to her voice. "It's your choice, of course," she said hastily, "but we're in the middle of a war – you've said yourself that the Prophet are refusing to report all the muggleborn attacks that have been happening."
Alice nodded uneasily, and James remembered her recounting the argument she'd had with her boss about the scrapping of several stories she had written on the issue. "I hate everything that's happening," Alice said, "but I'm not going to let that stop us from living our lives." She turned to Frank. "We want to start a family together, so that's what we're going to do."
Lily's expression softened. "Then congratulations," she smiled.
James thought she meant it, but watching as she poured herself another glass of wine, he could also sense that the news had served to make her deeply uncomfortable.
Thinking about it, James couldn't help but agree. He and Lily hadn't talked much about children, but of course he'd thought about too – they had been married for almost a year after all, and it was the natural next step. James loved the idea of a family, and he was certain that one day he and Lily would create one together. He just wasn't sure whether he'd be willing to do so when they didn't know whether one of their friends would be killed from one day to the next – didn't even know whether he could guarantee his child's safety. With all the danger around him, could he take a step back from the fighting to take care of a child?
He looked down at his empty plate, aware that the others were talking around him but too caught up in his own thoughts to pay much attention to what they were saying. Was it selfish of Frank and Alice to have a baby in the middle of a war? James wasn't sure, but he admired the certainty of their decision all the same. Maybe they'd be able to keep the war and their family separate – maybe everything would work out fine for them.
But there was no certainty in the matter, and James couldn't help but feel a lingering concern as he wondered how much a baby would change things for them. He picked up his wine glass, trying to put his worry out of his mind; clearly he hadn't been paying attention to his friends, bedcause the next thing he knew, his glass was knocked out of his hand as Kingsley gestured animatedly beside him. It fell to the floor, letting out a loud splintering chime.
The china had been shattered. The Bones family had been in the middle of their evening meal when the death eaters arrived. Dinner plates were split open, their cracks as white as bone. Shards of glass caught the dim light from their wands. Regulus had the urge to whisper a quick reparo and watch the broken fragments be made whole again – to fix some of the damage they'd done: he'd done.
But the Bones family, unlike their china, were beyond repair. There was a body slumped against the dinner table – the elderly mother who hadn't even made it out of her seat before the door was blown open and the first killing curse struck. Her plate was miraculously unbroken, still laden with mashed potatoes and scraps of chicken. A meal she would never finish.
The rest of the family had fled the room, all but the dead woman's husband, who had stayed beside her in his final moments. He hadn't put up a fight, hadn't even drawn his wand – his body had crumpled on the floor, his eyes still open. No one had bothered to close them. Regulus wondered if he should. Didn't the dead at least deserve that shred of decency?
The six death eaters who had committed the massacre were searching the house now, looking for any survivors, but they weren't being thorough. Edgar Bones had been their target, and with him dead they were restless, wanting to leave before the Aurors arrived.
Regulus wandered away from Crabbe and Rowle, who seemed more concerned with the spoils they could find than the murders they had committed. He saw Rowle pocket a lock of unicorn hair and an old goblet.
In the corridor, he had to step over the body of Edgar Bones. His wand had rolled out of his hand and been snapped in half by Selwyn's boot. Edgar had fought well, could even hold his ground against Bellatrix, but with his parents dead he was vastly outnumbered. He hadn't stood a chance, not really. Though Regulus hadn't been the one to cast the final curse, the flash of green light that had chased the life from his body, he had directed a stunning spell that had distracted Edgar long enough for the more deadly curse to find its target. It might as well have been Regulus' hand that struck him down.
The final body was that of Edgar's wife. Regulus didn't know her name, only knew that she was in the Order of the Phoenix and had caused enough problems for the Dark Lord to earn her a death sentence. She had run upstairs at first, but when Edgar hadn't followed she had turned in time to see him die. Her scream when Edgar's body hit the floor was still ringing in Regulus' ears, chasing away every other thought. The curses she had rained down upon them had blasted one of the walls apart and left a deep gash in Nott's arm, but it hadn't taken long until she joined the rest of her family in death.
Regulus stepped over her body on his way up the stairs, trying not to let his gaze linger upon her. He muttered lumos and did a quick search of each of the upstairs rooms – the only ones undisturbed. The final room was locked, and Regulus almost left it that way when he heard a small sound from within, like a whimper.
He pointed his wand at the lock, and with a sharp click the door swung open. Inside were two children, a girl of about six or seven and a younger boy. The bedroom was clearly theirs, with two small beds and the floor scattered with toys and games. The little boy was holding a toy rabbit that was damp with tears, and the girl stood in front of him protectively.
The sight of them flooded Regulus' heart with guilt. He didn't know there were children – they must have been ushered to safety as soon as the first curse had been cast. They looked at him with a mixture of fear and confusion, too young to understand what had happened or why.
"Leave us alone," the girl said, standing her ground despite everything. Her chin was wobbling with the threat of tears, but she stayed between Regulus and her little brother.
Slowly, wordlessly, Regulus removed his mask.
"Sshh," he urged, as gently as he could manage. He pocketed his wand and crouched down in front of them. He remembered when he'd been young and scared of the dark, and how he'd wander down the hall to Sirius' room. His brother would groan, and pull a face at him, but he'd still pull him into bed beside him, telling him that he didn't need to be scared.
As he stood knelt in front of the children, Regulus was struck with a sense of longing. Why couldn't he be seven years old again? When all he had to fear were ghouls under his bed; when his father was alive, and his brother wasn't a enemy but a friend.
"You don't need to be scared." He whispered to the children, swallowing around the lump in his throat. "I need you to stay in here, okay? And if you hear anyone coming, hide under your beds."
They just stared at him uncomprehendingly, eyes wide.
"It's like a game," he said hurriedly. "Like hide and seek."
"Black!" called Rowle's voice from downstairs. "Did you find anything?"
His voice made the little girl jump, and the boy's face screwed up, threatening another wave of tears.
"There's nothing here," Regulus called back, keeping his voice as level as he could. To the children, he added, "I need to go now, but you're going to be okay. Just – just stay here."
The girl nodded, her face solemn. Regulus had no idea what she thought had happened, whether she knew the danger they were in, but there was no time to make her understand. As he stood up and replaced his mask, the was another flash of light: it came from outside, the light from the window dousing the room in green light. He knew that the dark mark now hung over the house like a storm cloud, proclaiming to all who saw it the death and destruction they had caused.
Regulus went back down the stairs, not even really seeing the bodies anymore.
"It's done," Bellatrix said, returning from outside. She had taken off her mask, and there was a cruel delight in her expression that turned Regulus' blood cold. She kicked Edgar Bones' body with the pointed tip of her shoe and Regulus flinched.
"There are no survivors?" she asked him. His throat was too dry to form words, so he shook his head. "Then we're done here."
Bellatrix lifted her wand, and relief swept over Regulus. In mere moments, they would be gone, and the destruction would be through – for that night, at least.
But his relief was short lived. The children had followed him out of the room and met their mother's body on the stairs. The girl had frozen in place, her wide and tearful eyes fixed upon her mother's unseeing ones, both pairs the same deep blue. The boy had dropped his rabbit, and without it to comfort him he began to wail.
Every gaze turned towards the children.
"Well, well," Bellatrix said, her wand still raised. "Look at this. Another generation of halfblood brats."
The boy cried louder, but the girl stayed silent. When she finally looked away from her mother's body, she fixed her gaze upon Regulus.
"Wait," he said, forcing the words out. "Don't hurt them."
Bellatrix ignored him. He looked towards Nott and Crabbe, but they wouldn't meet his eye.
"They're only children," he said. "Bella, please."
She laughed, an out of control sound that burst from her lips.
"Little Reg," she sneered. "I thought you had more backbone than this. More than your dear brother."
"I do," Regulus protested. "But it doesn't take courage to kill innocent -"
"Courage?" She pulled a face. "I don't care for courage – what matters is conviction. And yours seems to be wavering."
"But what's the point?" he demanded. "There's no reason to – no point in senseless murder."
The girl's gaze was still locked on his, but she had pushed her little brother behind her again. He wondered if she was going to run, but she seemed glued in place, unable to process what was happening.
"The point," Bellatrix replied, lifting her wand almost lazily, "is that we can" – two bursts of green shot from the end of her wand – "and no one can stop us."
The two bodies, the largest of which was barely above Regulus' hip height, fell to the ground like deflated balloons.
"You didn't need to do that," Regulus shouted, feeling tears brim at the corners of his eyes. "This isn't right – killing our enemies is one thing, but children?"
"Our orders were to kill the whole family," Rodolphus Lestrange said evenly.
"And is that all we do?" Regulus snapped. "We just follow the Dark Lord's orders whether we agree with them or not?"
"You dare to speak against the Dark Lord?" Bellatrix snarled.
"If this is what he wants – killing indiscriminately – torture – what makes you think we won't be next? He doesn't care about any of us; all he wants is to make himself stronger. He won't stop at muggleborns."
"You don't know what you're talking about," Bellatrix said, her tone dangerous. "I thought you were better than this Regulus, but maybe you are too childish to be have been given the mark afterall."
"I'm not a child," Regulus argued. "I notice more than you think. And I know what he's trying to do – I know about the horcruxes."
"You will not speak another word of this," she hissed. She crossed the room almost impossibly fast, her wand pointing towards his throat. "I will gladly blast another cousin from the family tree if I hear another word of this from you. Do not question the Dark Lord if you know that's good for you. If you want to live, you will be loyal."
Regulus nodded jerkily. He silenced himself and followed the other Death Eaters out of the building, the six of them moving like dark omens through the destroyed doorway before disapparating. But the bodies of those two children were imprinted on his mind.
When he'd first heard of Voldemort, it was a name whispered amongst older students and family members as though they were talking of a deity. The reality was that the Dark Lord was cruel. He relied on a current of fear to keep his followers from questioning him – and disposed of them if he deemed them weak. Regulus didn't see himself as weak, but he didn't see himself as like Bellatrix either.
He couldn't carry on like this.