Chapter 15 – Harry
2nd August 1980
Mary,
I'm exhausted, so try to bear with me a little bit here. I think I've only slept for about three hours in the past two days but Merlin, it's worth it.
Harry was born on Sunday. My water broke when I was in the middle of running a bath, so James thought I was drowning or something when I started shouted for him. I just have looked a sight, hunched over in the nude like that.
Starting the glamourous parent life style off right, of course.
I haven't seen many people yet, and I'm kind of glad. I feel raw somehow, like I've been underwater and I still can't quite catch my breath. Harry is wonderful and James is already great with him. I'm just worried about what could happen in the future. I feel like under all the joy and amazement at this person we made, I'm angry too. And then I feel guilty for being angry.
It's not that I'm mad at Harry, of course. I'm just frustrated. I should be worrying about him getting a fever, or nappy rash, not whether or not anyone knows where we are. James says he's going to be a champion quidditch player but I feel like I can't let myself think that far ahead.
Does that make sense? Am I an awful person for feeling like that?
I love him so much but it's hard. Maybe my hormones are just all over the place, I don't know.
I wish you were here.
I'm also glad you're not.
I know you're safer there, especially after what happened to Benjy. God.
When this is all over we'll come and visit. We can get lost in those vineyards you told me about and watch the sun go down. We can take Harry to the beach.
Don't pay too much attention to my rambling. Like I say, I've barely slept and it's been an emotional few days. But I'm happy. James is sleeping in the chair next to my bed and Harry is in his cot. When I look at them, I'm happy.
I hope you and April are doing well, and that you're happy too.
Stay safe.
Your friend,
Lily
5th August 1980
Dear James and Lily,
We all just heard from Sirius that you finally popped your baby out – congrats! Sirius has been bragging about him already, saying he smiled at Sirius the first time he held him. Gid and I reckon he was just burping, but we haven't told him that. He said Harry looks just like James, born with a bunch of messy hair and everything.
I've got to send best wishes from Molly and Arthur. She'd boil me alive if I forgot, she only mentioned it about seventeen times. Good job it's a boy or else she'd be unbearably jealous: she's got six boys now and not one girl. Her and Arthur's place is chaos, but they love them all to pieces. She'd bring half of them over to you for playdates if she could. Ron, her youngest, is only five months old. Hey, he and Harry will be in the same year at Hogwarts! I wonder if they'll both be in Gryffindor.
Molly told me all sorts of tips about raising newborns but I've forgotten half of them. I remember her saying that they'll sleep through anything so not to bother being quiet and that she gets Ron to sleep by playing music on the radio. Celestina Warbeck puts him right to sleep, apparently.
Marlene keeps peering over my shoulder. She wants to know what Quidditch position Harry's going to be, like it's his bloody star sign or something. She reckons he'll be a chaser like his dad. She and Sirius talked about it for nearly an hour, I swear, they're obsessed. Sirius is already on about getting him a miniature broom.
Everyone in the Order has been talking about you both, wanting to know if you're okay. Meetings are getting really quiet, with so many people gone. Everywhere seems kind of empty to me, without Benjy here. Both of you stay safe, alright? I bet it's tough being in hiding, stuck in your house all the time, but we can't lose anyone else.
I hope we get to meet Harry soon, when it's safer. Oh, and enjoy the apple pie – Molly made it, obviously.
From Fabian
(and Gideon and Marlene)
(and Molly and Arthur and all the kids)
15th August 1980
To Lily,
Congratulations on your little boy! Harry is a lovely name. I meant to write sooner, but we've been so exhausted with our own little one. We've called him Neville, against the advice of Frank's mum, who wanted him to be called Harfang after her father. Harfang, honestly. It sounds like the name for a dog, but don't tell Frank I said that.
He was born on the 30th, the day before yours. We went to St Mungo's for it and thank Merlin we did. My labour lasted almost twenty-four hours, I've never been so tired and achy in my entire life. We were there for so long that I don't ever want to see that hospital again. I won't tell you all the gory details, but you've been through it, so you know. I'm still sore down there now, and I keep peeing my pants. It's all pretty gross.
Anyway. We've not been out much since Neville was born, just trying to get into a routine with him. I'm starting to get antsy just sitting around, though, I don't know how the two of you manage to stay in the house all the time. Neville is asleep most of the time, and I want to be doing something.
I miss working for the Daily Prophet, but I don't think I'm ready to go back there yet, not with the type of news reports I've been having to write lately. I feel selfish saying it, but it's difficult to care about all that's happening in the world when I've got my baby boy in my arms. As long as he and Frank are safe, it feels like nothing else matters, you know?
Frank went back to work again today: they said they couldn't spare him for any longer, not with the way things are. They miss James there, everyone says he's one of the best. But with Frank gone, I'm alone with Augusta, and she's driving me up the wall. She wants everything to be neat and tidy, keeps moving things so that I can never find anything. I keep telling her I don't need her to look after me, but she won't listen. It's her way of helping, I suppose, but it's just getting more and more irritating. With any luck she'll leave soon, and then – well, I don't know what. It's hard to plan for the future with everything the way it is, isn't it? All I can think about is taking care of Neville.
Missing you loads, and give Harry a big cuddle from me.
Love from Alice
21st August, 1980
Dear Petunia,
I hope you're well. Which seems like an odd way to start a letter to you –I should probably know how my own sister is, but here we are. Please don't screw this up or burn it or whatever you might be inclined to do. I have some things to say.
I'm sure mum has told you, but our son was born on the 31st July. The birth wasn't too stressful, thankfully. I heard that you went through an awful time with Dudley. We named him Harry.
It's strange, isn't it? Holding that new life in your arms. When we were kids having a family was something we both wanted, sure, but that moment when I saw Harry open his eyes for the first time and looked right at me… it was magical.
I had to sneak out of the house to send this – I'm not supposed to leave the house. James is asleep and I've taken Harry out in the pram. I didn't want to send an owl and scare you half to death. And it's safer this way. I don't know how much you know, or how much you want to know. Mum's been here as much as she can, trying to help out, but I don't want to worry her too much by telling her how bad things might actually be.
Do you remember Severus? I'm sure you do. You never liked him, and I guess I should have trusted you on that. He became involved with an organisation that doesn't like people like me – witches and wizards who were born to parents without magic. There was a prophecy, and now they want our son dead. They wanted him dead before he was even born.
That scares me more than I can tell you.
I'm not writing to burden you with things you can't fix, Petunia; I'm writing to tell you that I love my family, and I'm going to do everything within my power to protect them, to give Harry a future. No matter what.
So, I need you to make me a promise.
Actually, I need you to make me a few.
Take care of mum. Try to stay away from places that are too busy – there's been strange things going on. And whatever happens remember that despite our differences, you're my sister and I care about you.
All my love,
Lily