Chapter 5: A Chill Goes Through Her Veins
Most of Saturday consisted of Castle and Beckett trying to make a list of who to invite. Lux tried to call Tasha and Bug and even Gavin once, but had gotten nowhere. After trying Tasha again, Lux places her phone on the couch cushion next to her, defeated.
Castle is sitting next to her on the couch and Kate is sitting next to him, on the floor, both looking at the list of people to invite. Castle rubs his face, "We can keep it small."
Kate looks at Lux, "Do you have anyone you want to invite, Lux?"
"I tried to get a hold of Tasha, but she hasn't answered."
"Okay, we'll assume she's coming."
Lux glances at her phone and mumbles, "Yeah, I'm not so sure."
Kate gives Lux a pitiful smile, then turns to the list and writes Tasha's name down. She uses her pen to count off the names, "So that's twelve people?"
Silence washes over them, as Castle and Kate just stare at the piece of paper. Lux looks at them confused, "What's wrong?"
"Most of the people we want to invite…" Castle starts and then slowly dies out.
"Don't know I exist in the first place," Lux finishes.
"Yeah," Kate finishes.
"So, that where we start," Lux says in a somewhat condescending tone.
Castle shrugs, "We should start with Lanie. She's going to be the… upsetest."
Lux and Kate turn to him at the same time, trying to suppress smiles. Lux raises her eyebrows out of amusement, "The most upset?"
"The angriest," Kate counters.
"What you said," Castle says trying to get out of the embarrassment.
Lux teases, "Aren't you a writer?"
"That you didn't tell her earlier," Castle finishes his beginning statement, ignoring Lux's comment.
"Actually, I already told her," Kate says shyly.
Castle squints, "When?"
"When I got back from dropping Lux off at Social Services," Kate says looking back down at the list, as Castle raises his eyebrows at her.
Lux leans forward to read a name off the list, "What about Jim?" She looks up from the paper to Kate and Castle. Though she moved forward on the list to distract them, it doesn't seem like it distressed them at all. Castle looks at Beckett's face, which generally resembles a deer in the headlights. "Or not?" Lux questions.
"You didn't tell him she's back?"
Kate looks at him, "Well, no, later."
Lux quickly leans forward to read another name, "Esposito?"
"That we can do," Kate says.
"I'm going to try Tasha again," Lux says pointing to the stairs behind her.
"Okay," Kate says, as she sifts through her contacts.
Lux walks upstairs to her bedroom. When she settles into her bed, she pulls out her phone and calls Tasha one last time, only to reach her voicemail. Lux sighs, "Hey Tash, I know you're angry with me, but I take it back. I know Gavin would never take the necklace. Anyways I hope you come tomorrow… Okay, bye." She hangs up the phone and drops from her sitting position to lying down on the bed.
…
Kate sits in the middle of the bed, scrolling through her contacts, until she gets to her dad's contact. When she presses the contact, the line starts ringing. She can hear Castle, in the kitchen, talking on the phone with Alexis, as she runs her fingers over her collarbone, mindlessly looking for her security blanket that is no longer there. Her dad's voice breaks her out of her comfortable trance, "Hello?"
"Hi dad," Kate says quietly.
"Hi, Katie," He says with pleasure.
"Hey," Kate repeats.
They go silent for a moment before Jim says, "Katie, is everything okay?"
"Yeah, no, yeah of course," She quickly says, realizing she must have sounded upset. "Do you remember my sophomore year of college?"
Jim sighs, "Booze soaked and blurry… sorry."
"No, I meant after that."
She can hear him take another deep breath, "You mean the baby? Yes, of course, I remember."
"She found me."
"She found you?" Kate always loves how smoothly her father speaks, like as though it may be the most shocking thing he heard all day he still wants to keep her worry at bay.
She smiles and attempts to lighten up a little again with more success this time, "Yeah, she came to the precinct trying to get emancipated from foster care and needed my signature and Castle being Castle told the judge that he could cosign her apartment… Anyways she's in my," She cautions slowly, "temporary custody."
"I barely caught any of that, but she's living with you?"
She huffs, laughing a bit, "Yeah."
Silence comes over them again for a short moment before Jim speaks, "How is she?"
"She's…" Kate squints, "good. A little rough around the edges, but good, at least I think she is."
"That's not going to stop."
Kate furrows her eyebrows, "What?"
"You never quite know if they're okay or not. You learn to know when they're happy and when they're sad, but if they're okay it's not so easy to tell."
"Well that…"
"Sucks?"
"Well, yeah."
Jim lightheartedly laughs, "I know." Kate hears him sigh, "I better go, I've got a big case to work on."
"Okay I'll let you go… Oh, Dad!"
"Yes, Katie?"
"We're having a birthday party for Lux tomorrow."
"Lux?"
"Yeah, Lux, that's her name."
"I was wondering where that came from," Castle says, walking into the room. She points her finger up at him indicating that she'll be off the phone in a second.
"Can you come to the party?"
"Yes, of course."
"It will start around two."
"I'll be there. Love you, Katie."
"Love you, Dad," She hangs up the phone with a smile.
"So," Castle draws out.
"So," Kate repeats, in the same way Castle did.
"Where did Lux come from?"
"The name I assume," Kate smirks.
Castle glares at her, but can't help but smile, "Yes."
She cocks her head to the side, "I actually don't know. I don't even know how she got my name." She inches off the bed and walks over to the dresser, where she unbuttons her shirt and pulls an oversized shirt over her head.
"When babies are put up for adoption they either get their parents last name or a random, generic last name." Kate sits on the edge of the bed and watches as he explains.
"How did you-"
"Research," they say at the same time.
Beckett rolls her eyes when she says it, then does a double take, "Research for what?" Castle laughs and puts one knee on the bed, wrapping his arm around her ribcage, and pulls her down onto the bed. "Come on," she complains in a laughing protest. Her laugh slowly dying as she stares at the ceiling, "Do you think Lux is okay?"
Castle rolls onto his back so he is also looking up at the ceiling. He sighs, "I don't know."
She looks at him, her eyes wide. Then she turns back to the ceiling. She sucks in her lips, "Me either."
…
Lux dips a baby carrot in the bowl of ranch, in the center of the veggie tray, then pops it in her mouth. Kate points at her, as she places a plate of desserts on the counter, "Those are also for guests, you know?"
Lux counters, "It's my birthday."
"If you eat too many of those you're going to turn orange." At first she worries that she may have made a joke that was too childish for Lux, but then she lets out a short laugh, which wipes away Kate's concern.
Lux points her subtly thumb behind her at the couch, where Alexis, Martha, and Castle are sitting. She leans in and whispers, "I'm not too sure, here, that would be such a problem."
"True," Kate says with a snicker, which is interrupted by a knock on the door. She walks over to the door with a smile, which widens when she opens the door to see Ryan, Jenny, and Sarah Grace, who is sleeping quietly in her car seat. "Hi guys," Kate says, hushing her voice when she sees the baby sound asleep.
"Hey," Ryan says walking in.
"Hi," Jenny says with an exhausted smile.
As more people come Lux stays in her chair at the island. Everyone introduces themselves, either again or for the first time. She keeps one eye on the door, waiting for someone she knows. When she finally gives up, she walks over to the party, which has mostly gathered in the living room. Right before she reaches the crowd, Alexis appears out of it, cradling Sarah Grace in her arms. She goes over to Lux, "Can you take her for a minute? I wanna go get my phone."
"Uh, sure," Lux says uneasily, but Alexis doesn't seem to notice.
She digs in her pocket for a mini hand sanitizer bottle and hands it to Lux, "Here use this." Lux slowly opens the bottle and cleans her hands, then gives the bottle back to Alexis, who pushes it back into her pocket, then slowly passes the baby to Lux. When the baby is safely in Lux's arms, Alexis runs up the stairs, leaving Lux to watch her go.
Castle notices Alexis dash up the stairs out of the corner of his eye, when he turns to get a better look he spots a flustered Lux, so he quickly excuses himself from his conversation with Espo and Ryan and walks over to Lux with a smile, "You want me to take her?"
Sarah Grace leans against Lux's chest. Lux laughs nervously, "No, she's fine."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, plus Alexis has the hand sanitizer," Lux adds, just as Alexis comes rushing down the stairs, cell phone in hand. She walks slowly, because she's fiddling with her phone. When Alexis reaches them, she holds up her phone, "Can I take a picture."
"Of me or the baby?"
"Both," Alexis laughs.
"Sure," Lux says. She readjusts the baby, so she is facing Alexis a little more, and smiles.
Right after the phone makes a snapping noise, Alexis comments, "Cute."
Castle looks over Alexis' shoulder to see the picture, "Can I take a picture of the three of you?"
"Sure," Alexis and Lux shrug. Alexis hands her cell phone to her dad.
Kate looks over from the conversation she is having with Jenny and stops her story in its tracks, "Hang on, I want that picture too," she says walking towards them and pulling out her phone. She doesn't break stride when someone knocks on the door and she has to change where she's going. She hands her phone to Castle without missing a beat and goes to open the front door.
"Hi dad," Kate says when she opens the door. Then she looks over at the dark haired teenager next to him, "You must be Tasha."
Castle just finishes taking the picture of the girls, on Kate's phone, when Lux hears Tasha's name. When she sees Tasha come in the door she hastily hands the baby back to Alexis and runs over to Tasha. When she hugs her, Tasha only lightly embraces her by putting her hands on Lux's shoulders. "Tasha, you came," Lux says happily, ignoring Tasha's lack of excitement.
"I wanted to meet this new family of yours," Tasha says with a deceiving smile.
Lux leads Tasha to the living room with Kate and Jim following them a couple feet away. "Well that's Alexis, Sarah Grace, Castle, Martha, Lanie, Jenny, Ryan, and Esposito," she says pointing each person out. "Oh and that's," Lux turns Tasha back around, "Kate," she finishes.
Kate extends her hand out to Tasha, "Hi."
"Hey," Tasha says with an unenthusiastic smile as she shakes Kate's hand. Tasha points to Jim and turns to Lux, "Who's my hallway buddy?"
"I'm Jim, Kate's father."
"Hi, I'm Lux," Lux says shaking hands with him, "Nice to meet you."
"Tasha," Tasha greets shaking hands with him, after Lux.
…
Lanie, Espo, Jenny, Ryan, and the baby left an hour ago. Martha, Jim, Castle, Kate, and Alexis are sitting on the couch, conversing, while Lux and Tasha sit alone at the island.
"So you're staying?"
"Yeah," Lux says, defeated by her friend's lack of enthusiasm.
"I thought about it and I don't really blame you. I would do exactly what you did. If my mom took me in and people threw birthday parties for me and all of this," Tasha looks over her shoulder at everyone else sitting on the couch, "I'd do it." She turns back and starts twisting the tab of her soda can.
"Tasha, you're still my family. You, Bug, even Gavin," Tasha laughs with a huff, but Lux continues, "Will always be my family."
After a beat, Tasha's eyes shift, "I should go home, I've got to move back to Sunnyvale tomorrow," Tasha says as she slides out of her seat.
"Again, I'm sorry about that."
"It's not your fault," Tasha says, exhausted.
Lux slides out of her chair and then suddenly perks up, "Oh, I almost forgot. I have something for you." Tasha reluctantly climbs back into the chair, as Lux runs up the stairs.
Kate looks over the back of the couch when she hears Lux run up the stairs, and turns looking over her other shoulder and sees Tasha sitting alone. "I'll be right back," Kate says quietly trying not to interrupt her father's story. She gets up to walk over to Tasha, lightly running her hand over the back of Castle's neck. She walks over to the countertop slowly, but when she gets there she still can't figure out what to say.
"Lux went upstairs to go get something for me before I go," Tasha says quietly.
"Are you sure you don't want to spend the night?" Kate asks, hoping to keep the only thing Lux has seemed to fully enjoy, since she's been there, around longer.
Tasha rubs the soda tab between her fingers, "I've got a one way ticket back to a girls' home. We don't all have moms that appear out of nowhere and save us, you know?"
Kate presses her lips together and sits in the chair Lux was previously sitting in, "Can I ask you something?" The tab freezes in Tasha's hand and she glares at Kate. She may be angry with her, but she's listening. "Do you think she's better off? Holding out for someone else?"
"Lux and I, we've been friends since we were little. Since we were seven, we met at Sunnyvale, before I was placed. We used to get in trouble, well I used to get in trouble… for everything, from getting sick to crying. They'd punish me by making me drink Tabasco sauce. And Lux she collected change, from underneath the couch, and after like a month she saved enough to replace the Tabasco," Tasha laughs, "with V8." Kate gives a short smile. "It was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, to this day." Tasha takes a deep breath and refocuses on the soda tab. She spins it around, on the countertop, with her finger. "We were going to get emancipated and move in together. That was the plan." Tasha goes silent, then looks up and sees Kate watching her intently. "I really should go."
Tasha slides off her chair and puts one arm through her jacket's sleeve. She slowly puts her arm through the second sleeve and meets Kate's stare. "Uh…" She lets out, quickly pushing the rest of her arm through her sleeve. She reaches into her coat pocket, "Your necklace…" She pulls the necklace out of her pocket and holds it out for Kate to take it from her hand. Kate looks at her with confusion and holds out her hand, so Tasha pours it into her hand. "I was here the other day and I took it. I'm really sorry."
Kate looks at the ring now cupped in her hand on her lap. When Tasha finishes she looks up at her, "I'm sorry too. I took your family, that's much worse."
"Got it," Lux interrupts as she runs down the stairs. Kate quickly fastens the necklace around her neck.
Lux walks over to them and quickly glances at Kate, "Where'd you find your necklace?"
"Tasha found it. It was on the countertop, right in plain sight."
Lux hands a book to Tasha, who turns the book over in her hands, "Storm Fall," Tasha beams.
"Do you read the series?" Kate asks
"It's the only books I'm pretty sure Tasha has ever read."
"Hey," Tasha playfully counters at Lux, then turns and smiles at Kate, "Yes, me and Lux read them together, but Sunnyvale never got the last one." She turns back to Lux, "Thanks, but I've really got to go." Lux smiles with understanding and gives her a hug.
When Lux finally lets go, Alexis beckons, "Lux, come here you have to hear this story."
Kate smiles and gets out of her chair. "Do you mind?" Lux asks Tasha gesturing towards the couch.
"No, you go," Tasha says with a smile. Lux practically skips to the couch and Kate thinks about how happy she actually seems just from this short visit with Tasha.
"I'll walk you out," Kate says with a smile. They both look at their feet as they walk the few steps to the front door.
Kate opens the door, but right before Tasha leaves, Kate looks up at her because she turned back to face her. "For the record, the answer is no, okay? Lux she's been with a lot of really crappy people. People way worse than this," Tasha laughs gesturing at the loft's entirety. "And even if there was some great person out there that really wanted her, you still have one thing they don't." She smiles a huge smile at Kate, "You're her mom. To people like us that's…" Tasha shrugs, "Everything." She slowly turns back around and walks away.
Kate slowly shuts the door behind her. She takes a breath and before turning back to her family in the living room. After a moment, she crosses the hardwood floor and sits on the edge of the couch.
Lux, who is sitting in between Castle and Alexis', is listening closely to every word Castle is saying. Lux questions, "Who was behind the wall?"
Castle raises his eyebrows and says in a matter of fact kind of tone, "A tiger."
"Oh, come on," Lux says turning to Kate, waiting for the punch line.
"Really," Kate reassures, smiling at the shock on her face.
Lux's eyes grow wide with amusement, as she turns back to Castle to hear the rest of the story.
While she listens to the story, Kate subtly rubs her necklace's chain against her neck, Lux seems okay. God she hopes she's okay.