Okay, two things this time. First off, as always leave a review. They help me find my path, based on where you guys are. Speaking of which, Vali I wrote a bit based on your request. Secondly, due to recent Castle news and just how the last season has been going, this story will probably not parallel Castle as much as it has in the past. But no need to fret, I'll keep writing. Hope you enjoy.
Chapter 13: Inventing the Truth
Even though the day has now come to mid afternoon, Alexis was still very much asleep. Martha had left a couple of minutes ago to get them something to eat. Lux is tapping her phone, somersaulting it around, on her knee. She looks out the window mindlessly.
Alexis suddenly sighs, blinking a couple of times, then jolts, sitting straight up.
Lux turns to her, raising her eyebrows and letting her mouth slack, but Alexis doesn't look back at her. Alexis stares at Castle's hand, then at his face.
"Dad?" Alexis asks.
"Is he awake?" Lux asks, swinging her legs off of the window's bench.
"He moved his hand," Alexis answers, not taking her eyes off of her father, "Dad, can you hear me?"
Castle grumbles. He blinks as if there is sun in his eyes. "Yeah, I can hear you."
Alexis tries wrapping her arms around him in a hug as best as she can.
"Alexis," he breathes, smiling into her shoulder.
Still squinting, he looks over at Lux, who is sitting on the edge of her seat. He looks back at Alexis, who has sat back down, keeping a hold of his hand.
He coughs, uncomfortably, "Where's Beckett?"
"She's out, but we'll get her here," Alexis assures him.
Lux scuffs. She calmly, yet abruptly asks, "Where have you been?"
"Lux," Alexis warns softly.
Castle turns to Lux, confused. "What?"
Lux, not paying attention to Castle, cuts him off. She pushes off the ledge and walks over to the bed. She scrunches her face, "No! I really want to know."
"Know what?" Castle asks still confused.
Ignoring his confusion Lux proceeds, "Where have you been?"
"Lux!" Alexis snaps, standing up.
"Alexis," Castle warns, unsure of what the problem is, but not liking Alexis' defensive attitude.
They both stop. Alexis sits down quietly and Lux takes a few steps back.
Once there is silence, Castle softly asks, "What are you-" then shakes his head, "Where's Beckett?"
Alexis glares at Lux for a long time before she holds up her phone, "I'll call her."
Lux leaves the room and walks over to the nurse's station, before calling Kate. Just as she presses her phone to her ear, Martha appears from around the corner. Lux hangs up, only having let the phone ring twice, and meets Martha just outside the door. "He's awake," she greets, partially trying to give an unneeded explanation to why she's not in the room.
"Really?" Martha asks, joyfully in a non questioning tone.
"Yeah," Lux says, giving a quick fake smile, before continuing, "So I was going to eat out here. Give you guys some time."
"Oh, nonsense, you don't have to do that," Martha insists.
"No, it's fine, really."
"Did he say anything about where he's been?"
"No, I tried to ask, but-" Lux looks into the room.
Martha follows her gaze. She can guess pretty accurately what happened, but doesn't say anything. She turns to Lux and reassures, "We don't know what he's been through, so perhaps that question can wait."
Lux wrinkles her forehead, before saying, "I'll give you guys your space."
Martha smiles, "Okay, if you're sure." She pulls a plastic container out of the large paper bag she's carrying and hands it to Lux. "Asian salad, no chicken," she says.
Lux smiles at her, taking the container out of her hand. "Thanks," Lux says, turning around and walking over to the nurses' station.
When she puts the container down on the counter, a nurse, behind a computer, turns to her and informs her, "You know there's a visitor's room down the hall?"
Lux frowns, "Where is it?"
The nurse stands from her chair and points as she instructs her, "You go down this hall and it will be on your right."
"Thanks," Lux says, picking her stuff back up and going down the hall, away from Castle's room.
The visitor's room is small and yellow. It has one greenish blue chair, a tiny navy blue couch, and a small gray table. The room just screams hospital.
Lux sets her stuff on the low table. She grabs her phone off the top of her food container and sits down on the couch. She redials Kate's number, this time waiting for her to pick up.
"Beckett," Kate answers.
"Beckett…" Lux replies, as if trying to be cheeky.
"Lux, what's up?" Kate asks, surprisingly calm.
"Castle's awake."
Kate sighs, "Okay, we'll head back." Lux then hears Kate tell Espo what Lux said, and then hears him make some remark about wanting to know how Castle will explain all this.
"He wouldn't say," Lux replies, knowing that she wasn't necessarily supposed.
"Did you interrogate him?" Kate asks, lightheartedly.
"I asked where he's been, but Alexis kicked me out."
"Lux," Kate sighs.
"I wanted to know," Lux defends, "but they don't want me to ask."
"Lux," Kate says, sounding more serious now.
"No. That's not fair. I deserve to know."
"And you will get to know, but they are his family. They are his mother and daughter, so you have to back off." Kate makes sure to keep her voice calm the entire time.
Lux argues, "Where does that leave you?" In a softer tone she whines, "Where does that leave me?"
"Lux, I'll be there in a couple of hours, okay?"
"Yeah," Lux says, sounding annoyed and unsatisfied, before hanging up.
Kate pulls her phone away from her ear, "She hung up on me."
Javi lets out a bit of a chuckle, in amusement. He shakes his head, "Tell me how that kid ended up exactly like you?"
Kate crawls out of the tent, as she responds, "We should head back."
When they are about halfway back to the car, Beckett, who has been looking at the ground most of the walk, looks at Esposito and says, "I gave her up."
"Huh?"
"That's what made Lux… like me."
"Beckett, I-"
"No, Espo, it's fine, but that's the reason."
"I was going to say, it's not a bad thing. Sure you're reckless and bullheaded and frustrating as hell, but you're strong, which is why another Beckett is not a bad thing. It was a compliment to Lux."
Beckett tucks back a piece of her hair and smiles, in a way that suggests she doesn't quite believe him, but it was nice of him to say.
…
Kate smiles, when she sees Castle talking to Alexis and Martha, from the hallway. She turns and goes to the nurses' station.
The nurse immediately looks up at her and smiles, "You're looking for your daughter."
Kate makes a humorous face, "Yeah, do you know where she is?"
The nurse points down the opposite hall, "She's in the visitors' room, down the hall and on the right."
"Thanks," Kate says.
"She looks like you," the nurse adds, before Kate turns away.
Kate just smiles back at her, before following her directions to find Lux.
"You got here fast," Lux says when Kate enters the room. She is lying across the small couch.
"Nice to see you too," Kate says with a smile. Kate moves Lux's feet and sits where her they were.
Lux sits up correctly on the couch, "Aren't you supposed to be visiting Castle?"
"Yeah, but they all looked so happy," Kate explains, "and I wanted to check on you."
Lux skeptically wrinkles her forehead, "I know, I sounded angry earlier, but I'm fine. And I'm sure they'll give you some time with him."
Kate jokes, "You gonna to make them?"
"They're…" Lux scrunches her face trying to find the right word. Good, but can get under her skin. …family? She looks at Kate, almost like she wants her to finish for her. Kate raises her eyebrows, waiting. With a now serious face Lux just says, "You should go."
Kate presses her tongue to her cheek, "Yeah."
"Why do you seem so…" Lux grins, "...nervous?"
"He's been gone for two months."
Lux cocks her head to the side, "You know what," Lux raises her eyebrows, "I don't need to know. You should just go."
Kate smirks with an embarrassed look on her face, "No, I wasn't-"
She pouts when Lux cuts her off. "I'll be here when you're ready to go," Lux says, scrunching her nose.
Kate scrunches her nose back at her. "Sounds good," she says, getting up and walking out of the room. She wrings her fingers as she walks down the hall, from the visitors' room to Castle's room. When she gets to the door, she takes a moment before opening it.
As soon as Castle sees her, his face lights up, "Hey."
"Hey," Kate says with a lack of confidence in her voice. She takes a couple of steps forward, standing at the foot of his bed.
Alexis smiles, "We'll give you guys some space." She gets up from her seat and Martha does the same. They both smile at Kate as they pass her.
Once they are gone, there is only silence that follows. Castle only lets this go on for a moment before saying, "Just so you know, the doctor said that kissing will speed my recovery."
"Kissing can wait, Castle," she says, giving him a little smile, which is unlike her overall hesitance.
"Right." He says, nodding his head. "I'm sorry. I guess I put a little kink in our wedding plans," he says with a tired smile.
Any trace of a smile drains out of her face, she shakes her head in disbelief, "Is that supposed to be a joke?"
"What do you mean?" Yes, of course it's a joke.
"I mean tell me what happened."
He takes on her serious tone, "I was on my way to the wedding and this black SUV-"
She shakes her head, getting frustrated. For way to long, she has been running through the few facts she did know about Castle's disappearance. The facts he was telling her. She doesn't want to hear them again. It's like rerunning a nightmare over and over again in your head. "No… no after that,"
He wrinkles his forehead, "After the accident?"
"Yes, after the accident," she says reasonably.
"I was here," he says, trying to get her to understand something that makes so much sense.
"No, before here, Castle, you were found in a boat at sea." He cocks his head to the side, but she continues. "A boat that you apparently stole…"
Castle lets out a nervous laugh, "What are you talking about? A- a boat-" He says becoming more assertive, "No, I was in a crash with a black SUV, and then I woke up here."
"No, tell me what happened in between."
"Nothing!" He defends, before sounding more alarmed, "I mean I-I don't remember. I was- I was unconscious." He ends with some more confidence.
Kate sucks in her bottom lip, as Castle stares back at her confused and worried. "So the black SUV and waking up here, that's all you, remember?"
He relaxes, "Right-yes," then asks cocking his head to the side, "Why?"
She takes a moment, looking at him in disbelief. She explains, "You've been missing for two months."
…
The next day, Kate and Lux went to the hospital in the late morning. Kate was surprised when Lux mentioned going, after sitting down for breakfast. Even then, Lux asked as if shocked that Kate wasn't there already but had no desire to personally go. When Kate went to leave, though, Lux decided to tag along. Now that they are there, Lux has taken back her spot at the window ledge, keeping her distance. She doesn't seem to be specifically focused on them, but she's listening. Kate is sitting in a chair, next to Castle. She has her hands intertwined together in her lap.
"You look tired," Castle says. Just by knowing her, he knows she is tired and he knows why. He doesn't really like thinking about the why.
She gives an honest smile, weak but tired.
Castle jokes, "It's probably pretty quiet at the loft?"
Lux perks up and let out an, "Um…"
They both turn to her. Castle turns back to Kate and defends, "It was a joke."
Kate slides her hand into his. She scrunches her face, surprised that he doesn't know already, "Me and Lux…" She looks at Lux as she says her name, "…we've been staying at my old place."
He doesn't seem angry when he questions, "Since when?"
"For about-"
"Seven weeks," Lux fills in, simply knowing the answer before Kate.
Castle's jaw tightens. "One week?" He asks, definitely sounding angrier this time.
"Castle, it's not what you think," Kate almost pleads trying to reassure him.
"One week was all it took for you to give up on us?" He is clearly upset, but he keeps his voice calm and even.
Kate turns to Lux, "Lux, can you give us a moment?"
Lux is already on her feet by the time Kate finishes. She leaves, keeping her head down.
When she's gone, they look back at each other. Kate starts almost immediately, "I didn't give up on you, Castle. Trust me on that, but I needed some space. Martha and Alexis had each other and I just felt alone, so I left."
Castle softens. He can see she's hurting, that she's still putting herself back together. There is no reason to push too hard. She's here, she's still with him, but she's recovering. There is some silence before he softly says, "We can't just… pick up where we left off, can we, as if nothing happened?"
She squeezes his hand harder and gives him a sympathetic smile, "No…"
"So you're living in your apartment?"
"Yeah," Kate says, looking down at their hands. She doesn't want to make him feel guiltier, than she knows he already feels, by telling him Tasha no longer lives there… because Lux and Tasha were taken away at some point. She looks back up at him, "And I don't know when we'll move back."
"Take your time," He seems at peace with this, but Kate suspects he would rather her move back as soon as he gets out of the hospital.
"I need to talk to Lux."
"I know."
…
Alexis and Martha appear in the hallway. As soon as Alexis sees Lux standing outside, her face sours, "What's up?"
"I'm just giving them some space," Lux says, realizing how annoying those words are becoming.
Martha knocks on the glass door as she cheerfully says, "They can have space later."
Alexis looks at Lux, rolling her eyes and smiling. Lux laughs at Alexis.
Kate, Castle, or both must have waved them in, because Martha slides the door open. Alexis goes to follow Martha in, but Lux grabs her arm, turning her back around.
Alexis raises her eyebrows, as if to show Lux has her attention.
Lux gives her a short lived grin and says, "I'm sorry."
Alexis shakes her head, "You were protecting Kate, because you care about you her. Don't be sorry for that." Alexis gives her a sweet crooked smile, before turning back around and going into Castle's room.
Lux stands in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe. The room seems too full for her. Kate stands, gently removing her hand from Castle's.
"Don't go, just because we're here," Martha says in the common sense tone she always has, with a hint of worry.
"Please," Alexis adds.
Kate smiles, remembering all too well a scene, just like this, that happened two months ago. "I just need to talk to Lux for a moment."
Lux pushes herself off of the frame, "You do?"
Kate nods and smiles. Kate knows how Lux feels. She knows she has the same opinion as Esposito. She hasn't asked Lux, but she knows. She wants Lux to feel comfortable speaking her mind, which has never seemed like a problem, but still. Kate passes Lux in the doorframe and Lux follows. They walk out of the room and over to the nurses' desk.
When she thinks they have gone far enough, Kate turns around to face Lux, who comes to a halting stop. Kate bites her lip, unsure of where to start.
"What's up?" Lux asks, trying to help her.
"I want to know what you think," Kate says, shrugging.
"What I think?" Lux asks, before pulling a smirk, as if she just got the joke, "Are you detectiving me? Am I your writer sidekick now? Because I have to tell you I'm not really good at writing."
Kate shakes her head with the littlest smile showing, "No, I actually want to know, what you think about Castle."
Lux's smile deflates. Her lips part, unsure of what Kate wants her to say, because what she thinks cannot be what Kate wants to hear. Lux rubs her lips together, as if to find the way to form the words.
"Be honest, Lux," Kate adds, seeing he hesitation.
Lux pops her jaw to the side, still unsure.
Kate continues, trying to antagonize her, "In a couple of days, I have to decide what to do about Castle. What to do about our living arrangement. So, I'm asking you. I'm choosing you, so you need to tell me what you think."
Lux's eyes are big, hanging on her every word. The only thing going through her head is she's really asking me. Lux purses her lips, before starting, "He left you, Kate. He abandoned you. He tore us apart- he tore you apart," Lux says, harshly correcting herself along the way.
"You don't trust him?" Kate asks, calmly, taunting her to keep going.
Lux scuff, "You shouldn't. I mean, my God Kate, he disappeared on your wedding day. He left you and Alexis behind and now he's back, for what? For us to be a family and pretend nothing happened, with no explanation?"
Kate swallows, tightening her jaw, "What about you?"
"What?" Lux snaps, so confused.
Kate can't help, but push further, "I know what happened and I know how I feel. You said Castle let me and Alexis down, what about you?"
"He left all of us," Lux says, ending in a bit of a whine. She stares up at her, eyes big, waiting for her reaction.
Kate can tell she is so uncomfortable now, but Kate needed Lux to tell her the truth. Lux tugs at her long sleeved shirt, the way she always does when she gets into trouble or is about to. She is waiting for the part where she gets reprimanded.
Kate smiles at her, "I'm not angry at you."
Lux presses her lips together and forces her them to smile, but they quickly falter. She blinks as if she got distracted and says, "What are you going to do?"
"I'm not sure," Kate says, honestly.
"I don't think, I helped," Lux says, sneaking in a smirk.
"No," Kate corrects, "I wanted you to tell me the truth."
Lux nods, biting her lip.
Kate leans against the desk, trying to get a better look at her face, "You okay?"
Lux rolls her eyes, annoyed with her own emotions, and cocks her head to the side, "You listened."
…
After three days of recuperating in the hospital, Castle was released. Every morning up until then, Kate (with or without Lux) would come and visit. Once she stayed until visiting hours were over, leaving only to get coffee and take a few phone calls. That was until today.
The day before, he had agreed to call her when he got home and honestly he had kind of put it in the back of his mind. That is until he had walked into the loft.
It seemed lonely, even with Alexis tucked under his arm and Martha trailing behind. With no over glow of energy, it seemed as personalized as the hospital room. So after taking a shower, he called Beckett, immediately. They talked for about an hour and a half before saying goodbye, so Kate could call back the boys.
When Castle hangs up he closes his eyes, trying to calm his thoughts, his worries. Alexis, who was coming down the stairs quickly, slowly finishes them when she feels his mood. She asks, "What's wrong?"
"Beckett, she's holding off on moving back here," Castle says still looking at his phone, grimacing at it.
Alexis smiles with confidence, "She'll come back. She just needs some time. Plus Lux is starting school soon-"
"I know. I just want something to go back to how it was," Castle says, pursing his lips.
Alexis' face grows serious as she slowly approaches the couch. She sits down, the looks up at him, "When you disappeared, two months ago, Kate lost custody of Lux."
"What?" He asks, shocked, "When?"
"The morning after you guys were supposed to get married, Fern came and took Lux. Of course, Kate got her back, but that was after three weeks." Alexis pauses for a second, just to look into her dad's eyes. "Lux came back to Kate as if it was eight months ago… Kate lost you on your wedding day and her daughter the next morning…" Alexis takes a breath. She gets up to leave the living room, before concluding, "You can't expect her to come back the same."
She gives a pitiful smile, "Goodnight dad."
Castle still looks confused as he says, "Goodnight Alexis."
He tries to sort it in his head: So Kate is trying to re-break ground on Lux's wall, which he should have realized before now that she had, and I have to figure out how to re-break the amount of wall Beckett built back up. Can I do that when she's too focused on Lux's wall? Can I do that when Lux's wall is partially my fault, mostly my fault? Am I getting too caught up in fictional walls?
Don't forget to review below, or you could vent about Stana leaving below, or discuss your favorite episode below, or talk about puppies… below. You know whatever.