Dear Readers (if you're still out there… I would have abandoned me too.),
I am so sorry this chapter took so long. I got caught up with school and work, but now I'm on break so here is this long and hopefully somewhat fulfilling chapter. I wrote this chapter to parallel Stand Taken, so if there is a gap in time it's because it would be so similar to the original that I just left it out, because you already know how it goes. I hope you enjoy… sorry again.
Chapter 17: Famous Last Words
If someone were to live in an apartment building and accidentally walk into the wrong unlocked apartment, this is what it would feel like. It would be the same layout, the same feel, the same structure, but it wouldn't be their home. It would be disorienting and unwelcoming. When Kate worked a room like this in her precinct, it was more intense, but it was grounded. She felt grounded. Her movements precisely fit for her words and the answers she needed. All made without thinking and without missing a beat. But this was not her precinct. This was not her home. This was not where she felt comfortable. This place was irritatingly calmer, but in a way that silence is calm. She didn't like being on this side of the table, for something she couldn't wrap her mind around.
"Natasha's statement said that the two of you left Mr. Castle's loft and took a cab to confront Valerie Gilbert at her home."
Lux looks at Kate for a second. She is biting her bottom lip and shrugs a bit as if permitting Lux to go on, so she turns to the officer and admits, "I- yeah, we went to Valerie's but not to confront her, not really."
The officer continues, "Whether or not that's true, you did end up confronting her. In fact, a neighbor heard you and Mr. Gilbert arguing and said he tried to remove you from his property. She said it looked like you were resisting."
"I wasn't resisting. He grabbed me to try and throw me out, and he was hurting me," Lux defends, as Kate and Castle intently listen to her. "That's why Tasha stopped him."
"By hitting him on the head with a shovel?" The officer asks with an unfitting calmness.
"Excuse me?!" Kate snaps, turning to the officer.
"Did you say a shovel?" Castle follows up.
Lux recoils a bit as she quietly explains, "That's why Tasha was arrested. She hit Valerie's husband."
"Where is Tasha?" Castle asks, because he hasn't seen her since they got there.
"With Fern, in another room," Beckett answers, glancing between Castle and Lux. As if she had breathed in more confidence, without flinching, Kate turns to the officer and says, "Okay, look. Can you be honest with us and just tell us what we're looking at here?"
"Excuse me?" the officer asks, sitting back in his chair.
"Do we need a lawyer?" Castle interprets, giving an example.
The officer seems to relax, making Kate think, definitely not the twelfth. "No, but if the state chooses to press charges against Natasha, Lux may have to testify. But no she is not in as much trouble." As if it suddenly clicks to the officer he adds, "Natasha on the other hand…"
Kate looks to Lux to try to see where she thinks she stands right now, but she is just staring at the table. She looks like she is racking her brain for an answer to that very question.
…
Kate rolls onto her stomach, wedging her body right up against Castle's side. She uses her elbows to lightly nudge his ribs, as she whispers, "You awake?"
"Barely," he replies. She pulls herself up a little more, so she can see his face. He squints back at her, either, because he can't see her in the darkness of because he doesn't know why she insists on being awake right now.
"You know that thing we talked about earlier?" She asks, ignoring his clear want to sleep.
He squints at her and blearily teases, "Is that how you want to spend the last minutes of your birthday, because I've gotta be honest it's been a long day and I'm pretty tired."
She laughs, looking down, and letting her hair fall over her face. "No, that's not what I was thinking."
"What is it?" he asks.
She's still looking down, but he can feel her mood shift by her quietness. She looks up at him and pouts, "It's just- I think this thing with Tasha is gonna be a big thing and we're not really back on track yet and-"
"Kate," Castle stops. He almost laughs, as he says it, until he remembers Kate has a decent amount less experience in serious relationships, than he does, "What we talked about this morning. That- that was fun and playful and even kind of a relief but by no means was I under the impression that we were going to have a baby tomorrow."
Her eyes flick up to him and her face lights up, "Really?"
"You could be a little less excited," he teases.
She tries smothering her smile, but it doesn't work, "It's not that-"
Because he can feel her about to go into another rant he stops her again, "Kate… take a breath." She sighs and gives him a snarky, yet flirtatious glare. He continues, giving her a kind smile, "We; me, you, Alexis, Lux," he pauses to give her a humorous look as he adds, "Tasha. We're fine how we are."
She gives him one last smile, kisses him, then lies her head down on his shoulder. After a moment, she gently nuzzles her face into his chest. He can feel her leaning into him a little more and out of worry softly asks, "Kate?"
"We're not fine…"
"I know," he says, placing his hand on her head.
…
Almost all of them are seated at the dining room table. Alexis is the exception. She has a paper due, for finals, so she has to separated herself from the rest of them (notably still within earshot.) Lux and Tasha are sitting next to each other. Castle is sitting across from the girls, but he is facing to the side, at any moment ready to get up. This is probably; Kate just got up to answer the door. Even before she answers the door, everyone knows who it is. It's a lawyer friend of Jim's. He called him on their behalf, because about an hour ago Fern stopped by.
Fern came over to tell them exactly what kind of situation Tasha has found herself in, which turns out is not good. Fern told them that the D.A. is charging Tasha with assault, but because it was second degree assault and Tasha is seventeen, she could be tried as an adult. If she were to be found guilty it would be a minimum of six years in prison.
Kate smiles, when she opens the door, "Hi, you must be Nick."
"And you must be Kate. Your father said I could maybe help you guys out." He steps in as he continues, "And now that your social worker sent me the case, I can see why."
Castle stands to shake the man's hand, "Thank you for coming in such short notice."
Nick shakes his hand, "You must be Castle, and no, it wasn't a problem and to be completely honest I owe Jim a favor."
"Well thank you, anyways," Kate thanks again.
"Yes, well let's get started. Is Natasha here?"
Castle points to the girls, now a few feet away from them. "The one with the curls," Natasha limply raises her hand to point herself out. "The other is Lux," Lux gives as short smile, as she shifts in her seat.
Nick sits across from Tasha at the table giving her a smile, before opening his messenger bag and taking out his folder and notebook. Castle sits at the head of the table next to girls and Kate sits next to Tasha. Once they are all settled, Nick begins briefing them, "Okay, so first things first, Natasha's jurisdictional hearing has been scheduled, correct?"
"Friday," Kate answers.
"Kate, I'm sure you know this, but Natasha just so you are prepared the hearing is essentially a trial. Now, if you are found guilty, the judge will then determine if you should be sentenced as a minor or an adult."
Natasha leans forward, propping her crossed arms on the table. "And how does the judge decide that?"
"It depends on the seriousness of the crime. That's why it's important to show that Tasha's actions are justified."
Lux leans forward, as she somewhat defensively butts in, "Well, they were. She was defending me."
"That's not what Trey says here, in his report to the police. According to him, the two of you refused to leave his property, and when he tried to make you, Tasha attacked him."
"Yeah, but that's not true," Lux refutes.
"Lux," Tasha quietly says, taking her eyes off of Nick and looking to her best friend.
Tasha's voice is lost in Nick's as he says, "Be that as it may, he took a shovel to the head."
"Lux…" Tasha pleads louder. This time everyone hears her, even Alexis looks up from her laptop. They all look to Lux, waiting for an explanation.
Lux stutters into a start, "I-I- When I lived with Valerie-" She purses her lips before continuing. She looks at Kate, before looking down at the table. "Trey hit me… more than once, and Tasha knew that, so she was defending me."
"Lux…" Kate exhales.
Castle watches Kate. It was only supposed to be a glance, before turning his attention back to Lux or looking to that sound that he was pretty sure was Alexis sliding off her stool to be a part of the group; a quick check to see if she is okay, but he gets stuck looking at Kate. Her full attention on Lux. Her arms are crossed and set on the table in front of her, just like the girls. She seems calm, but he swears he can see her peeking down the rabbit hole. He doesn't think he has ever seen the beginning of one of he fixations, but he can feel it building up all the same. He loathes it and understands it so well. He can't begin to talk her down from it. Not this time.
It's almost like Lux can see it too, because she quickly adds, talking specifically to Kate, "It was a long time ago. I don't need anything. All I want you to do is figure out a way to help Tasha."
Tasha even seems annoyed by this conclusion, but obeying her blatant request Nick continues, "Lux, because you are a witness and a key member in the narrative you will be asked to testify. And with this new information the prosecution is going to try to cast doubt on your testimony, so you need to be prepared to give every detail of your time in their house. That way you could also, to some degree, validate what happened to you and if you'd like help you press charges against him later."
"I don't-" Lux begins to protest.
"Lux, it's not the worst idea," Kate quietly reinforces.
…
When Kate hears the knocking on the door, she immediately suspects that Lux forgot her key earlier. She is caught off guard, when she opens the door and it's Tasha, just Tasha. She immediately walks into the loft, taking a few steps before turning to face Kate, who is still holding the door open. Tasha quickly starts, "I'm sure she's fine, so don't worry, but now it's been two hours since school let out and I-"
Kate stops her as quickly as she can, "Okay, time out. What are you talking about?"
Tasha throws her jittery hands to her sides, "Lux."
"Lux isn't with you?" Kate asks, letting go of the door to take a step closer to Tasha.
"No, that's what I'm saying. I haven't seen her since sixth period."
"She said she was with you," Kate says, starting to fully understand.
"I don't know what to tell you, but she's not," Tasha nervously shrugs.
"Did you try calling her?" Kate asks, visibly becoming more concerned by the minute.
"After I got the voicemail from you I called her." Tasha shakes her head. "But she didn't answer."
"When was that?"
"An hour and a half ago." Tasha glares at Kate, showing her frustration in Kate's reasoning skills. "I've called her three times since then."
Kate pulls out her phone and quickly calls Lux. As she waits out the ringing she stares at Tasha. Her hands are steady, but she twists a ring around her finger, abruptly swirling her anxiety into green marks. "Tasha," she sighs, in an 'it's alright' tone. Kate perks up at the sound of Lux's voice only to be disappointed by it being her voicemail. When it ends Kate leaves a message, "Hey Lux, Tasha's here and we're just wondering where you are, so call one of us, okay?"
Kate hangs up and goes to say something, when Tasha asks, "Maybe we could call someone else? Or go-"
Kate huffs a nervous laugh, trying to keep her own anxiety at bay, "Who am I supposed to call? You're the only person-"
"Maybe- Fern- or the school."
"I'll call the school, okay?"
Tasha silently nods, feeling only an ounce of relief from this solution.
…
"You could trace her phone," Castle suggests. Kate glares at him. She had thought about it, but it seemed to be overkill.
"It's been three hours," Tasha adds, siding with Castle.
Kate caves and calls LT. When he answers she says, "Hey LT, I know Ryan's not there, so do you think you could locate a phone for me?"
He agrees and quickly finds Lux's phone, after she gives him the number. When he tells her where she is she quickly thanks him and hangs up. Castle and Tasha can both feel her energy relax, but at the same time she rests her hands on her temples.
"Where is she?" Tasha asks, just as the sound of a key turning in the door. To answer Tasha's question, Kate points at the door.
When Lux opens the door, she is looking down at her phone, "I didn't-" She stops when she looks up and sees Tasha. "Tasha what are you doing here?"
"Looking for you, Lux," she tosses back.
"Where were you," Kate calmly asks.
"I was going to go to Tasha's after school, but decided to stay to work on a project. I didn't see the harm in not updating you."
"Do you see the harm now?" Tasha asks.
Lux less than authentically apologizes, "I'm sorry guys. Tash, I'm sorry."
In a very demeaning tone, Kate asks, "For now on, can you just assume I always want to know where you are?"
Lux takes a seat at the table, not sitting next to any of them, with a side all to her own. "Yeah," she answers.
Tasha's face scrunches in a perplexed manner, before she stands, "Well I should go."
"Tash," Lux whines, realizing she hasn't achieved forgiveness from Tasha.
"No, it's fine. I'm just tired." Tasha says, as she pulls on her jacket and quickly goes to leave.
Before she goes Kate bids, "Bye Tasha."
"See you tomorrow," Castle adds.
"Bye," she softly grumbles, before leaving.
When she leaves, Castle quickly gets up to leave, knowing damn well he does not want to be around anymore. Ignoring her better judgment, Kate stands to follow Castle. Lux apologizes again, "I'm sorry, Kate."
Kate turns back around. A smile flickers on her face, before she says, "Next time, call me."
Lux seems to take it as a scolding and nods. Kate goes to leave, but Lux stops her again, "Kate?"
"Look, Lux, don't worry about it," Kate starts.
"I lied," Lux says, almost cutting Kate off.
"About where you were?" Kate asks.
"No, about Trey- I lied about Trey hitting me… It never happened."
Kate bites her lip, as if it can tame her temper. It works pretty well, because she lets out a restrained, but calm, "What?"
"I made it up, because I thought it would help Tasha's case and I didn't want you to know the whole truth. What Valerie said was true. I was the violent one."
Kate is frozen for a second, before pushing a piece of hair back and taking a seat at the table again. She frowns, trying to figure out what to say before turning to Lux, who is just waiting for a response, and says, "Lux if you're scared-"
"I'm not scared."
Kate shakes her head and scrunches her face. She doesn't want to say it, but she does, "I-I don't believe you…"
"Why because you know me so well?"
"Yes," she says, tripping on the trap she knew was there.
"You don't know me. Valerie was right, okay, Kate?" The fire starts to build in her voice. "I'm- I'm a liar. I told you a while back that I'm more messed up than you realized." She stands, but at the same time she tries to calm her voice as she continues, "If you really knew me you'd know that." Then she quickly turns and runs up the stairs, leaving Kate to just stand there and watch her leave.
…
The next morning, Beckett and Castle are in the precinct, waiting to hear word from Ryan and Espo, who are out running down a lead. Beckett is looking at her computer screen, telling Castle what she's finding on their victim, when Beckett's phone rings on the desk. She answers it without looking away from her computer screen. "Hello, this is Beckett." She looks away from her computer, which makes Castle curious of what her focus is on now. "Yeah, it's a good time." Kate furrows her brow, "Yeah, I just don't think I understand. Why would he do that?" She leans back in her chair, rolling away from her desk to face Castle in his seat beside her desk. "Yeah, okay," Kate says, obviously still confused. "That'll be fine. Okay, thank you."
When she hangs up, Castle immediately jumps in, "Who was that?"
"Nick," Kate answers, "He said Trey isn't going to testify."
"That's good," Castle says.
Kate shakes her head, trying to shake off the uncertainty. She grabs the edge of her desk to pull herself close to the computer again. She concentrates on the screen as best as she can, but after a couple of minutes she sees Castle's posture become uneasy. She pushes herself away again and asks, "Castle, you don't think…"
"Yesterday, when Lux was missing and came back, saying Trey never did anything to her," he continues.
"You think she made a deal with him?"
"Do you?" Castle asks.
"It took Lux eleven months and a lot of persuasion to get her to open up. I don't think she lied about that. So why would she take all of it back, if that wasn't the case."
"Trey not testifying does help Tasha. Lux has to know that. But she's a smart kid, she has to know that if she's lying she's hurting Tasha's chances."
Kate shakes her head, "She's hiding something."
…
"State your name," The prosecutor commands Lux.
"Lux Beckett"
"And your relationship to the defendant, Natasha Siviac?"
"She's my best friend"
"Were you aware that Natasha was recently fostered by Valerie and Trey Gilbert?"
"Yes," Lux answers, dead set on her answers.
"Well, according to state records, you were too. How long did you live with them?"
Lux has a moment of defeated confidence when the questions turn on her, but that quickly goes away, "Almost two years."
"According to Natasha, it was your idea to go to the Gilbert's' that night. Why? Why did you go?"
"I wanted to talk to Valerie. She told Kate a bunch of stuff. Stuff that wasn't true."
"Well, can you give us an example?"
With the visible insecurity, starting up again Lux has a harder time coming up with a short answer, "Um… She said that I was a liar, that Kate couldn't trust me that I was violent."
"Well, were you?"
Kate hates this question. It irritates her, so she knows it must irritate Lux, which isn't good. Luckily, Nick knows it too, "Objection, your honor, relevance."
"Goes to the character of the witness," The prosecutor explains.
"I'll allow it," the judge permits.
"So, Miss Beckett, did you lie or were you violent?"
Luckily Lux took the moment to calm herself down. "Whatever I did or didn't do in the past has nothing to do with what happened two weeks ago."
Realizing that she lost some momentum, the prosecutor drops the kindergarten teacher type voice she was using, "Well, then let's go back to two weeks ago. Is it true that when Mr. Gilbert asked you to leave his property, you refused?"
"Yes, but I-"
The prosecutor cuts off Lux, "So you admit that you were trespassing. Mr. Gilbert was within his rights to remove you from his home."
She says it so concisely and conclusively, that it sets Lux off again, "Within his rights?!" She pulls back a little, trying to keep hold of the small amount of calm in her body, "He- he grabbed me by my hair and my wrists and wouldn't let go."
"Was he carrying a weapon?"
"No," She bites out.
"Did he hit you?"
"Not that night," Lux answers. This answer makes Tasha nudge Nick, who already caught it, and makes Kate and Castle perk up.
The prosecutor may have caught it, but she's good at her job so she doesn't let up, "Exactly. So you're admitting to this court that Natasha had no reason to react with brutal force."
"She did! She was protecting me," Lux argues.
"Oh…" The prosecutor says sarcastically.
Knowing that, as of right now she is losing this battle, Lux relaxes again, "Tasha was just protecting me, because she knew that he had hit me before, when I lived with him. She was afraid he was gonna hit me again."
"But isn't it true that you made these accusations against Mr. Gilbert before, but then you quickly withdrew it?"
Lux tries not to roll her eyes at herself, "Yes."
"So, first, you said Mr. Gilbert physically abused you, and then you said, 'No, he didn't.' But now we're back to saying he did. At least one of those statements is a lie. Which one is it?" Lux pops her bottom jaw out, but doesn't answer, so the prosecution concludes, "Well, I guess Ms. Gilbert's assessment to your mother was accurate." She looks away from Lux, "No more questions, your honor."
"Very well," the judge announce, "The court is adjourned for a twenty minute recess." As soon as he bangs his gavel Lux is out of her seat and making her way out of the courtroom, behind others doing the same.
Kate almost immediately goes to follow her, but Castle catches her arm. He knows that Kate would mean well, but he's a little afraid that she may be a little too harsh. Kate is more driven, confident, and much more fearless than a sixteen year old. When Kate looks at him, she looks extremely confused. Castle treads lightly, trying not to offend her, "Do you mind, if- maybe I talk to her."
Kate sits back in her seat, and even though she is visibly unsure and after a moment she nods, "Uh, sure."
When he exits the courtroom doors, he quickly spots Lux, is sitting on a bench right outside of the courtroom. When he sits down next to her, she gives him a tentative look. Her cheeks sucked in and her lips pursed. He has seen many expressions of Kate's reflected by Lux. When Kate makes this particular face, it normally is humorously critical. However, on Lux it is much more serious, defensive even. He takes a deep breath as he looks away from her to the wall in front of them. He continues to do this, even as he softly begins to speak. "Do you ever get the feeling that everything is perfect or at least can be, but then it all goes to hell?"
She looks away from him, to look at the wall as well. She loosens her jaw, letting her cheeks and lips relax, "Yeah."
"Does right now feel like one of those moments?"
Lux looks back to Castle, "Right now is one of those moments."
He frowns at her. "How's that?"
"I finally had a family again and then all this happened."
Castle can't help, but smile because he didn't realize Lux had become so fond of them. He couldn't imagine his and Kate's life together without Lux, but he always felt like she constantly had one foot out the door. But if the question is if Kate or himself would ever give up Lux out of sheer will, the answer has been no, from the start. "I don't think-"
Lux smiles, but interrupts him at the time same, "You're going to say you don't think this thing could ever cause that much damage, but you can't know that."
Castle's smile fades to a serious expression. "Kate told me she made a deal with you. That you didn't have to tell this secret you had until you were ready, and now it's been forced out of you, which sucks."
She rolls her eyes, "You think?"
"But if you were afraid of losing Kate. First off, have you met her? Second off, it didn't happen, so what are you afraid of?"
Lux sighs, "Suppose-" she stops herself. "Nevermind."
Castle can read a certain amount of disappointment, in herself, "What?" he asks.
"Everyone keeps saying that Kate won't ever let me go. Nothing will get in the way of that, but she already has." Castle wrinkles her forehead, but doesn't say anything, so Lux continues, "When you went missing she- she left me in a girl's home for three weeks."
Castle presses his lips together, "I know."
"Tell me what changed. In the last three months, what changed?"
He sighs. He often forgets that Lux doesn't actually know Kate. She doesn't know who she is or how she acts. She only has about eleven months of 'Kate Beckett experience,' which is a decent amount, but sometimes he forgets he has her beat by about five years. "She was trying to protect you."
She shakes her head no, "She wasn't protecting me."
"She was," he urges, hoping she'll actually listen to him. "I wasn't there, but I know Kate. There is no doubt in my mind that she thought you were better off away."
"But I wasn't," Lux argues, at a slowly softening volume.
"And she got you back."
"But why?"
He frowns, "She was being selfish, which let me tell you, is a rarity for her. Kate is nothing if not determined. She wanted you so she got you."
She shakes her head as if trying to shake off any influence he may have had on her. "Nope. No, I don't buy it."
"Okay, you don't have to believe me. But at the end of the day, I promise, that you will come back to the loft. With Kate and I, and Alexis, and hopefully Tasha, who put all this aside- forget me, forget Kate-Tasha is who you need to tell the truth for."
Lux looks up at him. Her blue eyes finally meeting his. In a way they look so pleading he almost wishes he could excuse her from this whole ordeal. He also realizes that she's not actually being that stubborn, but she is just unbelievably scared.
…
When Castle sits back down next to Kate, she wants to ask him what he said to Lux, but Lux is already back on the witness stand so the judge tells Nick that he can start questioning her. Castle knows Kate's curiosity is there so in turn he grabs her hand.
Nick starts, introducing his impending question, "There seems to be a lot of confusion about what happened between you and Trey Gilbert, during the time you lived in his house." He takes a couple of steps towards Lux. "Did Trey Gilbert hit you?"
"Yes," Lux says, again starting confidently.
"According to Mr. Gilbert's statement, he claims you hit him. Is this claim true?"
Lux purses her lips, obviously out of anger or irritation. "It's true," she answers, shocking almost everyone.
Nick only looks slightly confused and quickly follows up, "And why would you hit him?"
Lux holds her breath as she looks to Kate. She has never seen Lux look so uncomfortable. It's a similar look to a toddler who has just fallen down. Her expression alone makes Kate want to take her home that very moment.
Lux looks to Tasha, who has her arms judgmentally wrapped around her stomach, and swallows, before turning to Valerie. She seems to have a good grasp on her emotions, before evenly continuing, "Because I was afraid he was going to force me to have sex with him."
Trey immediately stands up and starts yelling at Lux, "That's a lie. She's lying." In response to Lux's confession, Kate had squeezed Castle's hand, but now he was a hundred percent sure she could break it if she really wanted to.
The judge yells at Trey, "Mr. Gilbert, sit down!"
Valerie quickly pulls her husband down and in turn the prosecutor stands up, "Objection, your honor, this is clearly a fabrication."
Castle finally finds the ability to look to Kate, who has her bottom lip pulled down, bearing her teeth, and watching intently.
The prosecutor continues, "We know based on what's already happened that Miss. Beckett changes her story to whatever is most convenient."
The judge doesn't even consider this for a second as he disagrees, "Overruled." Trey stands up to say something, but the judge doesn't wait to hear it, "Another word, and I'll hold you in contempt of court." So out of defeat, the prosecutor and Trey both sit down.
As soon as everyone is as settled as they could be, the judge turns to Lux and calmly says, "Miss Beckett, continue."
Lux sighs, before doing as she is told, "Most girls in junior high, they have their first kiss playing spin the bottle. Mine was with him. So was my second. And my third." Lux, getting caught up in it, no longer stoically keeps her emotions in check. "He… he forced me. He intimidated me. He said if I said anything, that my mom." Lux pauses, before correcting herself with a begrudging tone. "Valerie would send me back to Sunnyvale. And I wanted to be with her, more than anything, with Valerie. So, to be with her, I had to be with him." She huffs, now giving into her sadness. "Until that night. I didn't want to do what he wanted me to do, so I… I took the lamp from the nightstand and I smashed it over his head. I ran out screaming for Valerie, but he got me before I made it, and he hit me, threw me down the stairs. I got knocked unconscious… That's when I had the stroke that messed me up." She pauses letting a tear run down her face. "I told Valerie what he had done and what he had been doing. But she didn't believe me."
Trey stands up, "Because she knew what I knew. You lied then, just like you're lying now."
The judge bangs his gavel, as he yells, "Mr. Gilbert, be quiet!"
Trey ignores him, "Because you don't want these people to know what kind of girl you really are."
Everything moves really fast after this declaration. When Kate stands up Castle does too, to keep her from doing what she wants to do, which undoubtedly is to kick the living hell out of Trey. "Beckett…" he warns, as Trey looks across the aisle, turning his attention on them instead of Lux. "What? It's the truth," he taunts. Castle almost considers letting Kate pass, but instead he steps to the side to block her again when she tries. However, this only lasts a second, because in their peripheral they both see Jim standing and making a quick grasp for something. Castle pulls his attention from Kate and looks to her father, who is now far from his seat. It only takes him a second to realize what Jim is going after and it's not Trey. It's his daughter. "Dammit," he says, turning around to go after Alexis. Kate looks from the mess, her fire temporarily extinguished and looks at Lux. Lux just stands at the witness stand, watching and stunning at the cacophony of sound, the haste, and her own unrelenting anger. The judge yells as Castle and Jim struggle and eventually Castle pulls Alexis, who got a punch in before, off of Trey. After that most of the courtroom is cleared out by officers, but Kate manages to stay. Lux holds eye contact with Kate, as if asking permission to be done, so Kate stands and leans over the banner and asks Nick, "Can she-"
He nods knowing what she's going to ask and turns to the judge. "Your honor can Lux Beckett step down?"
The judge seems shocked when he turns and sees Lux still in her seat. "We will be taking another twenty minute recess. Miss. Beckett, you can step down."
Lux is unsteady on her feet when she first steps down, but once she has lowered herself back onto the mortal level, she quickly finds some balance. Still her overall posture is abashed. While the room is still rather riled up, she makes her way back to the spectator seats. Kate straightens to stand directly in Lux's path. She plans on wrapping her arm around Lux's shoulder, so she is almost thrown off balance when Lux crashes into her wrapping her arms under Kate's. It takes Kate a moment to get over the surprise, before she hugs her back. The moment only lasts a second before Lux starts to pull away. Kate leaves her arm around Lux's shoulder, like she originally planned, and without talking the two of them walk towards the doors of the courtroom.
Once they have entered the hall. They go to the bench, where just about an hour ago Castle and Lux were sitting. She thinks about asking Lux why she didn't tell her. Why didn't she just stick with the truth? But almost as soon as she thinks of the question she thinks of the answer. It is right there in everything that ever scared her. She is always living in that fear that she can be given back, that she is too much of a hassle for anyone to handle. This pushed Valerie, the closest thing she has ever had to a family, away. That is a reasonably and very scary concern, so she gets it and doesn't ask, but instead just lets Lux lean her head against her shoulder and peacefully be comforted by the fact that she has no intention to leave her.
Lux leans her head against Kate's shoulder. In response, Kate gently squeezes Lux's hand. It takes a couple of minutes, before Kate is drawn back into the rest of the world. As Lux's head grows heavier on her shoulder. Kate looks around. When she looks to her left she sees Castle and Alexis. They seem to be having a calm discussion, but Alexis' arms are definitely crossed over her chest. He must feel her looking at him, because he looks around. When he finds her eyes, he presses his lips together as if he tried to give her a weak smile. God, she really hates that look, especially because it keeps showing up when it pertains to Lux. She gives him a gentle smile, before looking the other way. Her body involuntarily stiffens when she makes eye contact with Valerie. She quickly lets go of Lux's hand, which makes Lux sit up and look at her, confused. She looks back to Castle, who has gone back to talking to Alexis. Kate turns back to Lux and sees that Valerie has turned down an adjacent hall. "Can you go back in the courtroom with Castle… when you're ready?"
Lux's face crumples, "Yeah, where are you going?"
"I'll be there in a minute, I promise." Kate quickly assures as she stands and starts walking towards the hall Valerie just disappeared down. When she turns down it, she finds that Valerie hasn't gotten far. She is walking slowly, either so she doesn't stray too far or because she knew Kate was going to want to talk to her. Kate would like to think it's because of the latter. But when she doesn't turn around, she still has to walk pretty quickly to catch up to her and when Kate does she grabs her arm to stop her. Valerie turns and gently tugs her arm out of Kate's grasp. "Sorry," Kate immediately apologizes.
"Kate, I can't."
"You can't now. Why? You were more than willing to talk to me last week." Valerie fully turns to face Kate, her attention now on her. Kate steadies herself. She has her now. She doesn't want to drive her away because she couldn't keep her temper in check. "I get it."
Valerie looks curious, but almost judgmental at the same time, so Kate assures, "No, really," She's still trying to back pedal her from her initial tactic. That's what this is, a tactic. That's what Kate is good at, saying the right thing, at the right time, with the right attitude, to get the right reaction. "I get it. You did what you thought was best… to a reasonable extent that is."
Valerie turns to walk away again, but Kate catches her arm and turns her around again, this time without apologizing. "I mean- I mean you did what was best based on what you could handle. You wanted your husband. You needed him not to be a monster, so you did the right thing for her." Kate grits her teeth, trying to keep her shit together, as she says, "You gave her up and there is no one else who knows what hell that is, so I understand that kind of… desperation."
She takes a moment to try to figure out what Valerie is thinking. She still looks standoffish, but with a little less resistance to what Kate is saying. She sighs, now feeling like she has some momentum, "The thing is you didn't put her first. You didn't even really put yourself first. This time you have the chance to put Lux and Tasha first and that is what a mom does. So if you still want to be her mom like you did five years ago, go in there and tell the judge how you know damn well what Lux said is true, so me and my kids can go home." She doesn't wait for a response this time, before turning around and walking back towards the courtroom.
…
Lux and Tasha had fallen asleep almost as soon as they pulled away. Alexis has leaned her head against the window, every breath causing the window to fog up. She watched the cars crawl along the streets of New York, as she listened to her father and Beckett talk. It was forced small talk, until her father asked if everyone was okay back there. In a soft voice, which barely comes out, Alexis responds, "Lux and Tasha fell asleep." Beckett looks back at them as if to verify that, but then looks at Alexis, quickly looking down to Alexis' hand. "You okay?"
"It hurts pretty bad, but I'm fine," Alexis assures with just as much vindication that Beckett almost believes her.
"Punching people will do that," Castle says, in an amused tone.
Beckett turns to face forward in her seat again. "Castle," she softly scolds.
When Beckett turns back around, Alexis settles back into her original position. There is silence for a couple of minutes, before Beckett asks Castle about how he got Lux to open up. In return he asks her about what she said to Valerie. They both give less than detailed, short answers. Alexis assumes her father does this for Beckett's sake, to keep her from wondering why she couldn't get Lux to tell the truth. On the other hand, she assumes Beckett does this to keep her emotions at bay. The swallows in her speech gives her the biggest hint. Alexis wonders if her dad hears it too. She thinks he does because with the little amount of response Beckett is giving him, he would normally be asking follow-up questions, but he doesn't. When Beckett goes silent, Alexis can almost imagine it. She can feel it in her chest, a fluttering feeling in her heart, racing at a million miles per hour while the rest of her body felt hollow by its stillness.
…
Castle unlocks the door, but Kate holds it open. Alexis walks in first, as she cradles her right hand in her left. She is followed by Lux, Castle, and lastly Kate. Martha is in the kitchen packing up some of the things in there that are hers, but she came around when she heard them come in. She immediately grimaces at Alexis. "What did you do to your hand?" She huffs an uncomfortable laugh, "What happened to all of you?"
They all give soft smiles in return, but Tasha says, "I got two months in juvie."
Martha smiles, "You say that like it's a good thing."
Tasha relaxes a bit more this time, "Two months. That's good for me."
"Well then congratulations. The other four are still so quiet Martha turns to them and asks, "What about the rest of you?"
Lux gives her a more convincing smile, "We're okay." It's a simple answer, but with her hand loosely holding onto Kate's, it's believable. "Well except for Alexis."
"I'm fine," Alexis says, not as believably.
"It doesn't look fine," Martha negates. She waves her over, "Come on, we'll get some ice on that hand." Castle wraps his arm around her and squeezes her tightly. He guides her over to kitchen, following his mother's lead. He tries to keep his focus on fixing up Alexis' hand, but also tries his best to keep his eyes on the other half of the family.
Tasha turns to Kate and Lux with a smile on her face, "I should go to bed." She looks at Lux and asks, "You comin'?"
"I'm right behind you," Lux says, but when she goes to follow her she realizes she's still holding Kate's hand. Kate hadn't noticed either, so she quickly let's go clasping her own hands together. Lux gives a tiny smile, "Good night, Kate."
"Night Lux," she looks around Lux to Tasha, "Night Tasha."
Lux turns to everyone else, "Night everyone."
A blend of quiet good nights is echoed back to them, as the two girls disappear back up the stairs. Castle expects Kate to walk over to them in the kitchen, but she doesn't. Instead she slowly spins on her heels and turns to them. "I think I'm gonna go to bed."
"Okay," Castle nods, "I'll be there in a minute." She gives a quick smile to Alexis and Martha, before disappearing into their bedroom. He turns to his mother and daughter. He tries to shake off his worry for Beckett to worry about his own daughter for a moment. "You okay?"
"She's fine," Martha answers for Alexis.
"Yeah I'm fine." Alexis adds, "Dad, you should-"
"Yeah, I know, but I wanted to check on you first."
Alexis gives a soft smile, "I'm fine." He squeezes Alexis' shoulders and kisses the top of her head, before leaving her with his mother.
He braces himself as he slowly walks into the bedroom. He scans the room, before quickly realizing that Kate is in the bathroom. By the light glowing under the door, he can tell that she is sitting on the floor, in front of it. He lightly knocks on the door. "Beckett… Kate, are you okay?"
It takes a moment before she responds, "Yeah, Castle, I'm fine."
He tries to open the door but it's locked, so he presses his forehead to the door, "You can't be fine, Kate." He sighs, not quite liking his own response. "Can you please open the door?"
Once again based on the light seeping through the bottom of the door he can tell she has stood up. Still it's a couple of minutes before she opens the door. When she does, she steps back until her back is against the wall and the door is wide open. If he didn't know the events of the day, he thinks she would probably be able to pull off being okay. The only small giveaways are that her hair is pulled up in a messy bun and her eyes look tired. These small giveaways lead him to want to just back off. To let her pass him and go to bed without a single word passing between them. "Come on, let's go to bed," he suggests. She doesn't budge, crossing her arms in front of her. He once read somewhere that a lot of the time when people cross their arms like that, it is a subconscious and physical way of guarding themselves. He can't help but think about her defensively blocking him out. He takes a step, into the bathroom, almost wanting to tug open her arms to try to make her let him in, but instead he puts his hand on the back of her shoulder and tries to lightly pry her off the wall. He tries taking a step towards the exit, hoping that she will come with him. When she doesn't, he turns to look at her, keeping his hand on her shoulder. Her face has corked into a worrisome expression. Her bottom lip is pulled in and her eyes are big, looking up at him. She has a way of shrinking herself when she needs to, "It's okay, Kate," he sighs.
She suddenly slides down the wall. Castle's gentle guidance on her shoulder turns into a tight grip on her arm. "Kate," he says in a harsh and worried tone, as he quickly kneels down trying to lighten her fall. She cradles her head in her hands, her elbows digging into her knees. She heavily breathes trying to catch her breath. Her face is buried in her palms. "Kate…"
She looks up at him, her eyes locking on his. She gasps, like a child in a pool that almost didn't make in to the surface in time. It's like she's drowning. "I can't," she tries to let out, looking down to the floor.
He slides a little closer to her, as she starts coughing. "Shh," he lightly breaths over and over again. She continues to cough, through labored breaths. Because she shows no sign of calming down and with one hand lightly starting to tug on the collar of her shirt, he grabs the collar of the ratty t-shirt and rips it about seven inches.
When she had fallen to the ground, the bathroom door had slammed against the wall, so Martha and Alexis are now yelling, "Dad!" "Richard, is everything okay?"
He lies and yells back, "Yeah, we're fine!"
She coughs a couple more times as her breath is finally starting to slow, slowly but surely. He slides over to sit next to her. He wraps his arm around her shoulder. He doesn't fully relax afraid of putting too much weight on her, especially since she's still a little out of breath. As her breathing rate becomes normal, he asks, "You okay?"
She finally looks back up at him and tucks in her bottom lip. She then looks at her knees and shakes her head, "No…"