Whoa, I bet you thought I died.

Chapter 22: A Dilemma for Ever After

Kate's alarm goes off immediately springing her awake. She quickly walks to the bathroom to take a shower. As soon as she's out, she starts doing her hair, which normally is loud enough for Castle to get up, but not today. Today, when she peeks out the bathroom door, while drying her hair, he was still fast asleep. So she finishes up her bathroom stuff and gets dressed, before crawling across the bed to Castle's side. "Castle," she whispers, nudging his shoulder.

"Yes?" he asks, groggily.

"Are you coming to work with me today?"

"I can, but not for a while, because I should finish my last chapter."

Kate sits back, "You don't have to, if you don't want to. I was just hoping to talk to you without-" As if on cue, the sound of the loft starts coming alive, when Lux and Alexis come down the stairs. "Any kids around," Kate finishes with a laugh.

"There are no kids in here," Castle points out.

Kate, however, is already reversing her crawl out of the bed and laughs, "That's not what I meant." She slides open the bookcase then turns back to him.

When Kate goes to walk into the kitchen, she almost runs into Lux who quickly passes her to sprint up the stairs, "Whoa, Lux."

"Sorry Kate," Lux yells back at her.

"She forgot one of her notebooks upstairs, Alexis explains.

"Sure, but what's the rush?"

Alexis shrugs, "Maybe Tasha's coming by early."

When Castle walks into the living room, he hears Lux run around the corner to the stairs. "Whoa, slow down," he warns. She is flying down the stairs, and at Castle's warning she laughs, as if this is foolish, and slows down to a humorous level. She playfully slips her feet down every step, letting her weight move her forward.

There is a knock on the door as Castle cocks his head at Lux as if to say 'Really?'

Kate goes to open the door for Tasha, who is in fact early. When she turns the lock of the door, the click is accompanied with a thud from behind her and after a delayed moment is followed, by a choked, "Ow!"

Kate opens the door, but looks back to see what happened, to see Lux is laying on the bottom step. Kate rushes over, letting an unknowing Tasha to gently close the door behind her. Castle is kneeling in front of Lux, "Are you okay?"

"I mean minus my pride?" Lux coughs.

"Knock the wind out of you?"

Lux coughs again, "A bit."

Castle and Kate both put their hands out to Lux. She takes Castle's hand because he's the closest. He pulls her up. Kate smiles, "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Did you slip on the stairs?" Tasha asks.

"What do you think?" Lux rhetorically asks.

"Maybe you shouldn't run down the stairs, Lux." Tasha teases.

"Ha ha," Lux tries to snark back, but it comes out weak since she coughs while doing it.

"Well, I agree with Tasha," Kate says walking into the kitchen.

"I just slipped." Lux defensively responds.

"How about no more running down the stairs and," Kate looks down at Lux's pug patterned socks, "and no socks on the stairs."

Lux scrunches her face into a disapproving glower, still believing that she is being somewhat unjustly punished.

"Hey, you know, whatever suits you," Kate jokes, before looking at her watch. "Shoot, I've gotta go." She passes Lux, rubbing her shoulder for a second then walks to Castle. She gives him a quick kiss, then turns to everyone and bids a goodbye.

…

"Kate?" It was a gentle raspy whisper. If Kate hadn't been awake it wouldn't have even come close to waking her up.

"Hey Lux," she whispers back, barely being able to see her from the contrast of the dark bedroom and her lit background of the rest of the downstairs.

"Kate, I-I don't feel good."

Kate can't help, but be surprised by this. In fact, the more she thinks about it the more she's sure that Lux would never say anything if it wasn't something that is worrying her. Even though Kate can't guess what it can possibly be, she does find this small comment reason enough to get out of bed.

She leads Lux out of the bedroom entrance to huddle around the corner, "What's up?"

"I just don't feel good?"

Kate gives her a skeptical look urging her to elaborate. "I just feel-el out of it-. Like-like I can't catch my breath."

"Why don't you sit and tell me exactly how you feel?" Kate says, gesturing for Lux to sit on the steps. She does so as she struggles to further explain, "I just- I can't catch my breath. I'm not sure I could-can make it- it to my room."

Kate kneels down in front of Lux. "Well, first take a deep breath," she pushes back a strand of hair to look up at Lux, "It kind of sounds like a panic attack."

"I don't feel like I'm- panicking. I- don't have anything to pan-ic about," Kate listens as she takes Lux's hand, gently placing her fingers around her wrist.

"Well sometimes you don't realize there's something worrying you. Sometimes you just suddenly get a panicky feeling even though you were… fine-" she stops herself, because her diagnosis is making less sense. Lux not only seems pretty calm, but her pulse seems low. Not relaxed low, but sleeping low. Kate gently presses the back of her hand to Lux's forehead. "You do feel a little clammy. Do you feel sick in any other way?"

"I just- am a little out of it- I suppose- but I'm not going to throw up- or anything."

"Out of it like weak?"

"Yeah, I guess?" Kate gives her another stern look for Lux's lack of certainty. "Okay, yes." Kate takes Lux's wrist again, but tries to distract her with more questions, "When did you start feeling sick?"

"I don't know. I guess I've felt a bit off all afternoon."

Kate shakes her head, "Yeah, you know, your pulse seems really slow and I'm not sure what to do." After a second of thinking, knowing that her immediate thought is not going to be a welcomed suggestion, Kate decides on getting a second opinion. "I'm going to get Castle's opinion, just wait here for a second."

"No-you don't," Lux protests, but Kate is already out of whispering range. "Kate?"

Kate returns shortly after, with Castle in tow. He rubs his eyes, "What's up?"

"She's feeling out of it and I don't know if it's just me or if her pulse seems really low." Kate says, but Castle takes her word for it so he instead touches the back of his hand to Lux's forehead.

"Her temperature is pretty low, Kate."

"You know, I'm right here?"

Castle gives Lux a small smile, "Lux, you have a pretty low temperature." Lux shrugs. He can tell she means to play it off in a humorous way as if taking in new, but uneventful news, but her shrug even seems weak.

Castle winces for a second, already worrying about what is about to come out of his mouth. He turns to Kate and says it anyways, "Maybe we take her to the hospital."

"No, it's- it's not that big of a deal," Lux quickly jumps in.

He looks at Lux, "You really are your mother's daughter."

"I'm really not sure that's necessary," Kate adds, further proving his point.

He gets that it's a pain to sit in an ER waiting room in New York City late at night, so much so you really want to be sure you need to be there. But Lux's past health conditions has him worried. He doesn't really want to bring that into the debate, but it is a valid point.

"I really- I'm okay," Lux adds, although needing to take a breath in the middle of this short statement, doesn't help her case.

"And now I'm on Castle's side," Kate says, listening to the exasperation in her daughter's voice.

Lux looks between the two of them, then growls, realizing she has lost, "Fine."

…

In the car, Lux put her head in the hands. She seemed to be getting less and less comfortable the closer they got. When Kate asked her if she was okay, she said she felt lightheaded and tired. By the time they got to the hospital Lux was almost completely asleep.

Now sitting in the waiting room, Lux is struggling to stay awake. It was about 11:30pm and they had been there for twenty minutes, so Kate was somewhat rationalizing Lux's exhaustion. At the same time she can't help but fear her tiredness correlates with her low pulse and shortness of breath. Even so she lets Lux rests her head on her shoulder. Castle walks over after having had tried to find some coffee or a snack. In his attempts, he was able to find two small cups of coffee and a pack of Doughnettes. He hands Kate a coffee then sits down next to her. He looks over her to Lux, "she asleep."

"Not completely, no," Kate says. "Thanks for the coffee."

"The nurse said it shouldn't be much longer," Castle assures.

"Good," Kate softly replies, as she rubs her thumb around the edge of the coffee's lid. She sounds exhausted. After months of exhausting chaos, this was supposed to be their first week of normal.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"I'm just tired, Castle," Kate says, before looking up at him.

"I know you think this is unnecessary."

"No, no," Kate says, "I'm worried too."

"I just thought with her heart condition." He says, this last part in a quieter voice, knowing that Lux is still a little awake.

"Yeah, I know," Kate says, now picking at the sleeve of her coffee.

"Lux Beckett," A nurse calls out. Knowing it will take Lux a moment to get up, Castle stands up and raises his hand to the nurse, who smiles and walks over. Kate straightens her posture and gently taps Lux on the shoulder to wake her up. When she opens her eyes she looks even more exhausted then Kate feels. When they stand up, Lux winces and puts her head in her palm. "You okay?" Kate asks.

"Yeah," Lux says, nodding but not looking up to meet Kate's eyes.

"Do you need some help?" The nurse asks.

"No, I got it."

The nurse takes them down a hall to a room. Castle and Kate wait in the hall while Lux gets changed into a gown. When they're let back in they, sit in two chairs set up next to the bed. "Okay, so we'll get the doctor in here soon, but before that someone will come by and get you an ID bracelet. I'm not going to hook you up to an IV or anything yet, because we're not quite sure what's bothering you and I don't want to poke you if I don't need to. Sound good?"

"Yup," Lux answers.

"Okay, if you need anything you can page the nurses' station here," the nurse says as she points to the button on the bed remote. Lux gives her a slight nod and he nurse gives a genuine smile before leaving.

"Can I- go back to sleep?" Lux asks looking over to Castle and Kate.

"You know what, maybe you try to stay awake until the doctor gets here," Kate says. She partially doesn't want Lux sleeping when she doesn't know what's wrong with her and partially wants to see if she can.

It's about five minutes before a man from registration comes in and gives Lux her ID bracelet and another twenty minutes after that before the doctor, that introduces herself as Dr. Krause, comes in. Fortunately, Lux was able to stay awake through all of this. "So tell me, Lux what brings you in today?"

"I feel- out of it."

"Can you be more specific?" She encourages.

"I don't know- I feel light headed- tired-very tired."

"It is really late. Did you feel this way all night, or did you sleep a bit?"

"I couldn't get to my bed-"

"Her bed is upstairs," Castle helps explain.

"But when I was on the couch- I felt- felt like I couldn't relax like I was still- trying to catch- catch my breath."

"Did you partake in a lot of physical activity today?"

"No," Lux says, shaking her head.

"Gym class?"

Lux shakes her head, "No, not really."

"When did you start feeling that way? Or when did you first feel like you got winded?"

"When I ran to catch- the subway after school," Lux says. "I never fully caught my breath again."

"Anything else that's making you feel bad?"

"I'm just really tired," Lux say with a defeated voice. The doctor smiles, then says, "It might be a bit of vertigo." She turns to Kate and Castle and asks them, "Did you guys see or notice anything?"

"She did feel kind of cold when I checked her forehead," Castle says.

"To me too," Kate agrees. "And I checked her pulse when she first came downstairs because it sounded like she was maybe having a panic attack, but it seemed low to me."

"Yeah, you know what, Nurse Shepard did note that your heart rate was a bit low, do you know if it's normally low?" The doctor asks.

"No- I mean, no- it's not normally low." It takes Lux a minute of the doctor looking at her with a slightly confused face, before she sheepishly grumbles, "I've had some- heart issues in the past."

"Like what?" Krause asks.

"I was born with a hole in- my heart. I've had sur-geries. It's really not that- big of a deal."

"Do you mind if I listen?" The doctor asks. Lux tries to hide an eye roll as she sits up. She only takes a few minutes checking Lux out, before tapping Lux's shoulder so she'll lie back down. She sighs, but assures, "Oh, I wouldn't worry about that just yet. Your heart rate is low so I'm not going to rule it out completely, but for now, I'm going to get some fluids in you to make sure you're not dehydrated."

"So you don't really think that's the problem," Castle asks.

"Well you are right to worry about that and it is better to be safe than sorry, but effects of her heart condition as a baby presenting now would be unlikely."

"It has before," Lux says, before Kate gets a chance to.

"Yes, I see that was recently added to her chart. Was probably brought on by some sort of trauma?"

"Yup," Lux says, lazily popping her 'p'.

It takes Kate a minute before remembering. "She fell this morning." She takes a quick glance at her watch, then corrects herself, "Yesterday morning."

Castle squints unsure of the viability of his concern, "It was pretty hard, knocked the wind out of her."

The doctor's face scrunches in uncertainty. "It still seems unlikely to me, but I'll get you into an MRI. A nurse will be in soon to get your IV started and then another will take you to the MRI." The doctor smiles at all of them then leaves.

Castle scrunches his face and after a minute looks to Lux, who has thrown herself back against her pillow and looking at the ceiling, then to Kate, "Just one minute, 'kay?"

Kate looks at him confused, but agrees, "Uhm sure."

He quickly gets up and leaves the room. He looks both ways for the doctor. She is finishing talking to one of the nurses at the desk. Castle jogs to catch up with her. She only gets a couple feet away from the nurses' station, before Castle catches up to her. "Excuse me, doctor."

She turns around to face him. "Oh, I'm sorry did you have a question?"

Castle nods, "Yes, actually, I'm wondering how likely is it that this is just dehydration or something small and not her heart. Because I understand she's just a kid but you made it sound pretty likely."

"She is very young and there's no need to worry her or you guys if I don't have to."

"Yes, but trust me that kid is made out of steel and has dealt with a lot of things that a lot of people couldn't handle. But that's only if she sees it coming. Lux doesn't do great with uncertainty and surprises." Castle takes a breath, Look I'm just trying to prepare my kid."

"I understand." Dr. Krause still seems to consider what she's going to say for a moment, before continuing, "If I'm being logical-statistical, my guess is it's about a 50/50 shot, but my gut say that it is something to do with her heart."

Castle gives her a soft smile. "Thank you," he says, before turning away and walking back to the room. He has full intention to tell Lux, but he was going to run it by Kate first. That is until he walks in and Lux immediately catches on. She barely lets him fully get in the door before she asks, "What'd she say?" He looks to Kate who looks just as impatiently curious as Lux. When he looks back at Lux she adds, "That's where you were- right?"

"She said that it she's not sure, but her guess is it's your heart."

Castle sits down next to Kate who read just in her seat to sit up straighter. Lux takes a moment, she blinks a couple of times, processing what he said before saying, "Awesome."

…

It didn't take a long time after Dr. Krause left for Nurse Shepard to return and put Lux on an IV, but it took about 45 minutes for another nurse to come and take Lux for her scan. As soon as Lux was gone, Kate's mood changed to exhaustion. When she was there the three of them talked and chatted, but Castle could tell Kate was on edge most of the time, not allowing herself to relax for even a second. For the whole 45 minutes, she had been leaned forward in her chair with her feet planted on the ground. But now that Lux was under someone else's watchful, (and in this situation) more capable eye, Kate had relaxed. She laid back in her chair, her legs crossed, and her head rested on Castle's shoulder. Castle's reading through a magazine, talking through it with Kate, a very disguised way of distracting her. She is almost about to drift off, when her phone starts ringing.

"Sounds like murder," Castle says softly, as the very sleepy Kate reaches in her back pocket.

She sits up to read the caller ID and says, like a question, "It's Alexis."

"Oh my God. I forgot to tell her where we were."

"You're right sounds like murder," Kate jokes, as she answers the phone. "Hi Alexis."

"Beckett," she exhales for a moment."Are you guys okay? Where is everyone? Is my dad with you?"

"Yes, he's with me," Kate says, choosing to answer her last question.

Castle gestures for Kate's phone, as Alexis asks, "Is everything okay? Where are you guys?"

"Yes, everything's okay. Hang on your dad wants to talk to you."

Castle takes the phone when he offers it to her and answers, "Hey sweetheart." He gets up to leave the room, just as Lux is being returned from her MRI.

"Why haven't you been answering your phone?"

"It died. I'm sorry."

Alexis' better judgment tells her that this is a valid point, but that doesn't mean she isn't frustrated so she lets out a huff.

As Lux gets re situated into her hospital bed, Kate and her both are silent as they watch Castle for a few minutes. Lux turns to Kate. She studies her for a second, before softly speaking, "You can tell him- he can go home- or wherever he needs to be."

Kate turns to her, "I don't-"

"He looks like he is torn." Lux looks up at Kate as if to help her understand. "He kind of reminds me of- a social worker, with one- too many kids to watch over. Do you go- to the girl who is throwing a tantrum- just because she misses- her best friend, that the foster parents want to give her back? Do you go help the kid you-you've never met and add to your case files- or pawn 'em off? Or do you stay with the sick girl in the hospital- safe and sound, surrounded by doctors, but has no one else?" She looks back up at Kate who looks equally upset and speechless.

Lux winces, as if to apologize, "It's a rhetorical question- it's just- he looks like a social worker."

Kate doesn't like thinking about it and if she's honest doesn't think about it a lot. But looking at Castle she knows exactly what that is. It's him in some way apologizing to his daughter again for assuming she is okay on her own, but Kate somehow isn't. She only really thinks about it when he's standing next to her next to a bomb or during every trip down the rabbit hole she's dragged him down with her. It's unfair and unnecessary. And it weirdly kind of makes Lux right. He is torn. Kate knows if push came to shove he'd obviously pick Alexis over herself, like it should be, but she hated how many times he had made it an all or nothing situation. She closes her eyes, thinking of how to respond. She looks back at Lux. "I'll tell him."

"I didn't mean t-"

"No, you're right."

"They're silent for a couple minutes, before Kate asks, "Do you remember being in the hospital when you were young?"

Lux purses her lips, "No-not really. I has monthly check ups when-when I was four- which died down to every three- or so- months. They died out."

"The check-ups?"

Lux gives her a tired and snarky smile, "No, the doctors."

"Lux, that's-" Kate puts her knuckles to her mouth, "-dark."

"I don't really remember the social workers, just the feeling of them. The feeling of compassion- pity- and honestly lonliness."

Kate is about to ask another question when Nurse Shepard walks in. "Just checking in. It may be a little longer before the doctor comes and talks to you, but you should try to get some rest." The nurse checks her chart on the computer for a second, before leaving she adds, "Like I said the doctor will be in soon. Get some rest." Kate stands and gently repeats, quickly pats Lux's shoulder, as Lux turns on to her side. "Sounds like a good idea."

Kate steps out of the room Lux turns to her, "Sorry- for what I said."

"No, don't worry about it, just get some rest."

As soon as she steps out of the room, Castle hangs up and walks over to her. "How's she doing?"

"Good," she looks down, for a second, before looking back up at him, "good, you know what Castle I think you should go home, see Alexis."

"Don't worry she's fine. She was just worried that's all."

"Yeah, you know Castle, she worries a lot," Kate smiles up at him. "Just go check on her. I got this."

Castle frowns, but after a second agrees, "Okay, but call me as soon as you hear anything."

Kate nods, "I'll call you."

…

"Hey," Dr. Krause hums gently, as she enters the room. Though her tone shows that she suspects that Lux is resting, it still takes her a moment to refocus on to Kate. "Has she been asleep long?"

Kate relaxes from her initially stiffened posture. She shakes her head, "No, she's only been asleep for the past twenty minutes or so."

Krause gives a small smile, "Good." She walks over to the computer to open Lux's chart. "Well I looked over Lux's MRI, if you maybe want to wake her up."

Kate considers this, "She was up all night and she's really tired."

Krause wouldn't have even suggested it if she hadn't talked to Castle earlier, so she agrees with Kate and quickly proceeds, "Lux's MRI came back showing that she has a pulmonary embolism, a blood clot in her lung." Kate doesn't say anything and waits patiently for Krause to continue. "It sounds scarier than it is," Dr. Krause reassures. "It can be very serious if left untreated for too long, but this was caught early. Honestly, at this point, that's not necessarily what I 'm as concerned about."

"What are you concerned about?"

"The common treatment is to put a patient on blood thinners, which honestly she should have been on since her stroke."

"So why not put her on them now?"
Krause shakes her head, "I'm just a little weary of starting a seventeen year old on blood thinners. They're reckless, driving, and it's a huge responsibility for a young person."

Kate huffs, "Is there another choice?"

"The less common treatment is surgical, but in this case especially it would be a temporary fix."

"I'm sorry can you just explain that to me, I'm a little lost."

"Yes, the surgical option is called an embolectomy, which is a relatively simple surgery. The downside is it is a temporary fix, because it will take care of this clot, but it won't do much for preventing others from popping up." Kate nods and looks down at the still very asleep Lux. Krause gives a weak smile, "Look, you can take some time to decide. She's steady right now, but I would like to get her started on whatever your choice is as soon as possible."

"Thanks," Kate says, before Krause leaves.

Kate pulls her hair back into a ponytail. She closes her eyes and wishes- well she wishes a lot of things. She wishes that Lux could get a goddamn break, that Castle was there, or that Lux's foster home would have taken care of her when she had a freakin' stroke. She takes a deep breath and opens her eyes. She leans forward and brushes Lux's hair from her face to wake her up.

Lux blinks a couple of times then frowns, which eventually turns into coughing a couple times. She groggily asks, "Wha'?"

"We gotta talk."

…

Between Kate, Dr. Krause, and Lux they all agreed that putting Lux on a blood thinner was the best choice. It seemed more fitting for Lux. She didn't participate in sports, she hadn't started driving (something that hadn't seemed to cross anyone's mind) and she seemed to take the responsibility seriously- somberly- but seriously. Once they had decided, she was put on them immediately. Still, the doctor wanted to keep her for at least another day for observations.

It was late at night again and Lux had returned to a deep sleep. Her breathing had luckily already returned to normal. Still, Kate couldn't find much peace trying to sleep. So now, Kate had officially given up by trying to find some food (AKA a vending machine) and some coffee. The vending machine was rather easy, but coffee not so much. In her search, she has now found herself rather lost in the maze of the hospital. She would know how to get back to Lux's room if she just turned around, but this way, going forward, she wouldn't keep Lux up and she wouldn't feel like she was torturing herself. She had walked through the cardiology wing, past the turn for oncology, and had finally run into a sign signifying the waiting room. Almost as soon as she walks into the waiting room she spots a coffee machine. She maneuvers her way through the room. It's not overly populated, but there's a decent amount for being this late at night and not the ER waiting room. There's a group of teenagers, two with skateboards and two asleep and one girl nervously hunched forward rubbing her knuckles. Another group is three women all appearing to be sisters. But the people who actually catches Kate's attention is a couple blissfully wrapped up together in the corner, the woman gently rubbing a teddy bears ear. Kate smiles, before turning to the coffee machine.

She grabs a blue paper cup and places it in its spot. She picks a vanilla coffee. She grabs some sugar from the small basket next to the machine, as she watches the coffee start to drip.

A gentle voice breaks her trance. "Dad said we'd find you by the nearest cup of coffee."

Kate looks up to see Alexis with a pressed smile. "Hey Alexis," Kate smiles, "What're you doing here?"

"We thought that you and Lux may be having a rough night, but we already stopped by Lux's room and she was not having that rough of a night."

Kate laughs a little, "Yeah- wait, where's Castle?"

Alexis holds back a laugh as her eyes dart over Kate's shoulder. Without a second thought Kate turns around and immediately embraces Castle. "Luckily, we brought you coffee that hasn't been tortured by your hands."

"I don't care." She pulls away, keeping her arms wrapped around him, to look him in the eyes. "Thanks, for coming back."

…

"Wait so Money Honey is Monopoly?" Alexis asks, referring to the fictional game in some of Castle's earlier books.

"Yeah," Castle nods from the other side of the hospital room.

"It's the only game with fake money," Kate says.

Tasha who is sitting next to Alexis, kicks her ankle, "Yeah, I thought you were supposed to be the smart one."

Lux opens her eyes, squinting at the brightness of the room. "Life," she grumbles, with a hoarse voice.

Castle is the first person she sees, since he is sitting in front of her. He smiles at the sound of her voice, "Hey, sleepy head." The three girls quickly follow with an array of different good mornings and hellos.

She smiles, "Hey guys." She says turning over to look at Alexis and Tasha who were sitting the opposite of Castle and Kate, therefore they were behind her.

"How you feeling?" Alexis asks.

"Better," Lux says, "Tired."

"You slept for like nine hours," Alexis laughs.

Lux gives a weak smile than turns to Kate, "Life."

"What?" Kate asks.

"Life, it's another game with fake money." She says, "I always thought it was Life."

Tasha kicks the side of the hospital bed. Lux turns to look at her as she asks, "So you're not going to run down the stairs in socks anymore, right?"

"Shut up," Lux says, slapping Tasha's foot away, causing all the stale air to clear for everyone's laughter.

Hey guys, I'm only doing to write somewhere between two and four more chapters. If you have any suggestions or hope (maybe) now is the time to say something. Or you can just sit back and enjoy. (Well enjoy them whenever I actually get around to actually typing them up and posting them.)