A/N: Inspired by Ella Fitzgeralds's "These Foolish Things". CCS and characters are by CLAMP.
First story after years of hiatus. Slightly OOC. A big thank you to Apple-chan for encouraging me to write again. I love you heaps!
Update: Attempted to fix format and added section "breaks". Eriol's musings added as an epilogue of sorts.
[1] "Dance is the hidden language of the soul." - Martha Graham.
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THESE FOOLISH THINGS
by yurimaxwell
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"Tomoyo-chan, wait!" Daidouj Tomoyo stopped in her tracks as she let Kinomoto Sakura catch up to her. "I was just talking to Syaoran-kun and then you were no longer there!"
"I'm sorry Sakura-chan. I just wanted to walk a bit." She gave her best friend a knowing smile. "I thought you wanted to spend more alone time with Li-kun? It is officially the last day of school, you know."
"Lately, you're always walking off on your own Tomoyo-chan," Sakura pouted. Ever since Eriol-kun left, she wanted to add. But she left that last part out, knowing that it will not really help. Tomoyo had never mentioned Eriol since he left almost a year ago. In fact, she had avoided all conversation that included him even though she knew that Tomoyo missed him a lot. "Anyway, it's such a good day, we're having a picnic! Everyone will meet up at Penguin Park in an hour! Do say you'll go Tomoyo-chan!"
Tomoyo nodded, smiling affectionately as Sakura, as her best friend squealed in happiness. "I'll see you in a bit."
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Tomoyo walked slowly, taking the longer, more scenic path. The park was not an hour away, and she needed the time alone to sort through her thoughts. She knew her friends meant well and they were worried about her. She tried her best to smile and pretend that nothing has changed and that she was alright. It seemed to work for everyone else, except for Sakura and Li. They knew she missed him.
Spring heralds new beginnings. It was something he would say. She can picture him in her mind's eye, smiling mischievously at her. Has it really been a year since she last saw him?
Tomoyo sighed. This was not the first time he said goodbye. His family was from England after all. But she had let herself hope that he had enough reasons to stay this time. Sakura was now the card mistress. Everything was at it should be. He had friends here, a somewhat family. He had.. her.
She let out another sigh. It was so easy to wallow in misery and focus on the pain and longing. So many things reminded her of him.
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~ piano ~
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Eriol was seated at the piano, idly pressing a random key or two, as he discussed an assortment of topics with Tomoyo.
Tomoyo, on the other hand, was seated by the window. She was trying her best to focus on what Eriol was saying, but her eyes kept wandering to the grounds below. There were a lot of students out and about, obviously taking advantage of the longer summer days. Their friends would be outside as well, Sakura with Syaoran, and Chiharu with Yamazaki. Rika would be busy making something for Terada-sensei and Naoko would be busy writing stories.
She was stirred from her reverie when he started playing a slow unfamiliar melody. She found herself staring at him, transfixed at the beauty of the music and the skill of the musician. It reminded her of why she preferred to stay here with him and listen to him play. A private concert, just for her.
Blue eyes met purple ones as he continued to play, his eyes never leaving hers. She saw a hint of a smile on his lips, and she somehow she knew - the music was his.
Will you have me? his eyes asked, as the music continued to ebb and flow around them. She felt her heart leap in response.
She nodded shyly and he smiled.
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~ swings ~
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Tomoyo sat on the swings, feet idly toeing the ground. They had decided to pass by the park before heading home.
She lifted her eyes and met piercing blue ones. He was watching her as he stood a few steps away. He gave her a smile and walked up behind her.
"May I?"
She nodded and felt Eriol's hand on her back. He pushed her gently and she felt her feet leave the ground. With every push, she went higher. Higher and higher until she felt she could fly. She closed her eyes and smiled. That was exactly how he made her feel. Like she could fly.
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~ wind~
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She felt a small breeze as they walked home. Tomoyo stopped and twirled. She felt so giddy all of a sudden. Everything was alright in the world. Eriol smiled at her, grin getting wider.
"Did you know that pirouettes are also done by horses?" he said mischievously, glasses glinting in the late afternoon sun.
"Eriol-kun!" Tomoyo pouted at him, trying her best not to smile. "Yamazaki-kun is not here."
"I should hold your hand so you don't dance away." he replied, pulling at her hand, dramatically holding it close to his chest. Eyes met, and they both burst out laughing.
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~ dreamers ~
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"Eriol-kun please be careful! You don't have eyes at the back of your head!" Tomoyo said worriedly. He was being very silly, walking backwards, claiming that he can't stop staring at her.
"We can always stop walking so I can stare at you better," he said, making her blush.
He can be so silly, Tomoyo thought. But she wouldn't have it any other way.
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~ dance ~
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"May I have this dance?" Eriol asked, bowing formally. Tomoyo let out a giggle. They were in his study, listening to old records. She mentioned how the songs made her think of big ballrooms and he suddenly had the brilliant idea that they dance.
She took his offered hand, and he swept her into his arms. "Thank you milady," He gave her a smile and off they went, eyes shining, laughter on their lips.
"Dance is the hidden language of the soul,"[1] he whispered as the song came to an end. He pulled her closer. hands encircling her waist. As if by cue, the next song was slower, more dreamy.
"What is yours saying?" Tomoyo whispered back, as her hands moved to his shoulders.
He gave her a smile, heart in his eyes. "That I love you."
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~ bells ~
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"Eriol-kun aren't we supposed to be heading home?" He liked to drag her off, without an explanation. She usually did not mind. It sort of reminded her of Sakura chasing cards. However, it was getting dark fast and she wasn't sure where he was going.
He stopped tugging when they reached a small clearing. He turned to face her and she could've sworn she heard bells tinkling in the background.
Blue eyes were clouded with worry, sadness and was that... pain? It came from nowhere and it worried her. He seemed fine earlier, comparing the merits of using lined versus unlined journal paper. Did he get a vision? Was something happening?
"I thought I had more time", he said ominously.
She wanted to tell him that it was okay, that she was there to help. Whatever it was, they can do it together. But somehow the right words never came. So, she just stepped forward and gave him a tight hug. She didn't know what brought this on, or if there was anything she could do to make it better. But she wanted him to know that she will be there for him, no matter what.
"Eriol-kun, I… " she started to say as she slowly pulled away. She felt him stiffen before he pulled her back, keeping her in his embrace.
And suddenly his lips were on hers. He kissed her gently, softly, as if she was made of glass.
"There are things I do because I have to," he whispered. Their faces were still very close. He clung to her as if she was the only thing that kept her sane. "Not because I want to."
Just like with the cards and Sakura.
But there had been no unusual magic related events recently. She didn't know what could have triggered this conversation. All she understood was the plea in his voice. She smiled at him comfortingly and leaned in for another kiss.
It was fortunate that he had her in his arms or she would have fallen. The kiss was hungry, passionate, desperate, so unlike the first one they shared. Her heart was pounding wildly and she couldn't think straight. She looked up at him as he pulled away. She waited for him to explain, but he just took her hand and walked her home.
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~ ice cream ~
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They decided to stop for ice cream after school. Sakura jumped up and down when she saw the long list of flavors, and of course, they all had to go in. They settled in a booth near the windows, with Sakura and Tomoyo on one side, and Syaoran and Eriol on another. Pretty soon they had a bowl of ice cream each, topped with colorful rainbow sprinkles. Sakura started talking about her plans for the next few weeks, excited for the end of term.
"I will be leaving for England in two weeks." Eriol said quietly, once there was a lull in conversation. He continued to explain how it was all so last minute, and how difficult it was to arrange everything. Tomoyo kept her eyes on her ice cream, not trusting herself to look at him. She now understood the pain she saw in his eyes that night. He wasn't the same since. Now she knew why.
"Are you alright, Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura was looking at her, concerned. She didn't realize that she had been quiet for some time.
"Yup," she replied, putting on a smile for Sakura. I will be alright. For him.
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~ trees ~
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He had been walking her home everyday for almost a year now. They would usually be talking about one thing or another, or maybe stopping somewhere to talk some more. But since that afternoon at the park, they would just walk home in silence.
It was not much different in school. They still had their routine, smiles in place, but it was no longer the same. She would sometimes catch him looking at her, but he would always look away once their eyes met.
"Do you still have much to do before you leave?" Her tone was carefully neutral, unobtrusive.
"Not much. Ruby Moon and Spinel have been a big help." he replied quietly, carefully staying at least a step behind her. Above them, the wind rustled through the trees lining the path they were on.
Whatever your thoughts may be, if you don't say them, none of them will be acknowledged by others. She should take her own advice.
She took a deep breath and stopped walking. She could feel him behind her, carefully keeping his distance. "Eriol-kun, I know you don't want to talk about it, so I won't ask. But I want you to know that you are my most favorite person. Please do what you need to do. And I will wait for you..."
She heard his breath catch. He had moved behind her, closing the distance between them. She did not turn around, half afraid of what she might see. He then hugged her from behind, and buried his face in her hair. They stood like that for some time before he moved to face her.
"Wait for me, Tomoyo?" he held her hands, eyes searching hers.
She nodded, pressing her lips to his. I love you.
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She stood under the trees wistfully looking at nothing in particular. Next year will be their last year in high school. Soon, her friends will be going off to college, or for some, getting married.
She was all too familiar with this bittersweet feeling. Ensuring someone's happiness sometimes also meant pain.
They never really talked about the future. Both of them had always focused on whatever was available in the present. He sent her letters every few months, telling her about school, Ruby Moon's latest obsession and Spinel's latest book. She would reply with stories about their friends, sketches of the new dress she was making, or a recipe of the new cake she baked. She missed him terribly and it wasn't enough. But she promised him she'll wait. And wait, she will.
She always kept her promises.
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