I'm back! Sorry I was gone for so long. I didn't have much time between work, personal projects, and trying to have some type of social life. But since I've been off work for a bit, I've been able to catch up on all these old projects that have been sidelined for so long. I hope this finds you all doing well. Enjoy!
Chapter 25: Graduation Glee
"You get home late?" Castle asks, as Kate walks out of the bedroom. She is already dressed for the day. She shrugs, "Closed a case." When she reaches the island, where Castle has already set out plates for the family to eat the pancakes he is making, she looks over the counter. But instead of seeing her baby in the bouncer, where she expected her to be since Castle was cooking, she sees it is empty. Her heart drops to an extent that she feels is almost irrational. She frowns at Castle, "Where's Jace?"
He feels a smile itching to spread across his face, but can see Kate's panic, so he smothers it. He points with the spatula to the couch. When she turns around, she smiles at the two lying on the couch. The six-month-old sprawled across Lux's chest. Castle's voice pulls Kate's attention back to him. "I was going to wake her so she could start getting ready, but I wanted you to see them."
"How long have they been like that?"
"She got her this morning; they've been there since I woke up."
"I probably should wake her up," Kate pushes off the stool and walks over to the couch. She slowly and quietly stops, to look at them for another second. Lux is propped up half-sitting and half-lying down, and the baby is mostly laying on top of Lux, but is also partially wedged in between her sister and the couch cushion. Jace flinches in her sleep and Kate picks her, only to startle Lux out of sleep. Kate settles the baby in her arms. "I got her, don't worry," Kate says, when she sees, Lux jolt. Lux stretches, then settles back in. Before she can fall back asleep, Kate gently says, "Come on Lux, you need to get up too."
Kate turns back towards the island, refocused on the baby, who is also on the edge of falling back to sleep. Lux slowly pushes herself up on the couch. "So, what's the plan?" Lux asks, rubbing her face sleepily. Kate sits down on the stool sideways, sitting the baby on her lap, so she can see Lux. "Well, you have two hours to get ready," Kate starts, "Castle's going to go pick up Tasha and Martha."
"That's too many people-" Lux says, walking over to the island to take a seat.
"We have ten tickets," Castle corrects, as he flops a pancake on to the plate in front of Kate, "that's perfect."
"No," Lux says, "it's too many people for one car."
"I have to drop off some paperwork at work and check-in on my replacement for the day, so I'm going to meet you guys at the high school," Kate explains,
Lux's demeanor officially changes to annoyed with them challenging her, "So… In one car it will be you," she says pointing to Kate, "and in the other Castle, me, Alexis, Martha, and Tasha?"
"Right," Castle says, flipping a pancake on to the plate in front of Lux. Alexis, who no one had seemed to hear come down the stairs, groggily clarifies Lux's point, "Where's the car seat going to go?" Kate and Castle look to Lux, who is smirking. They turn to each other. "You can take Lux," Castle suggests.
"Uh," Jace tries to repeat.
They all smile down at the baby. "That's a hard one to start off with," Lux says. "Maybe try mama or dada before Lux or Alexis." The baby just stares back at her, so intently Lux truly think she may know what she is saying.
"We're going to end up with weird nicknames, like Sissy and Lele," Alexis laughs.
"Does that make me Sissy?" Lux asks.
"I don't want to be Sissy," Alexis rebuttals, as she digs into the food in front of her.
Kate giggles and turns back to Castle, "Sissy has to be there thirty minutes beforehand, I don't want to cut it that close." Kate shakes her head, trying to make the arrangement less of a big deal. "No, it's fine the car seat is still in my car anyways, I can just take Jace with me."
"Are you sure? She can be quite the attention grabber, when you're trying to get work done," Castle asks, speaking from experience. Kate nods, "Yeah, I don't have too much to do anyways, it should be fine."
…
Kate opens the door to her office. It still feels weird not to be in the bullpen. Normally, she keeps her door open to invite anyone in, but today she wants to be in and out as quick as possible so she closes the door behind her. She drops the baby bag in front of the desk. She opens her bag, quickly finding the paperwork she needed to leave behind for Gates, who just so happened to be her replacement for the day. She didn't really need to bring anybody in, but she wanted the day to be completely Lux's and to do so she needed to be able to mute and/or turn off her phone all day. She pulls out the papers. She sits in her chair. She takes a pause to look at Jace quietly sitting on the floor, chewing on a little cloth teddy bear's ear. She pulls out a folder from her desk. It has three applications for some possible new detectives. She grabs a Post-It from under a framed photo of Lux. She quickly writes, 'If you get a chance, I would love your opinion on these." She sticks it on top of the folder. She checks her watch. She takes a deep breath, "Do I need to do anything else?"
"Eh," the baby coos.
"Right," Kate says. She gets back up and grabs the diaper bag. She hadn't changed Jace into her dress before leaving the loft, because Kate was sure Jace would have destroyed it if she got her dressed that early. And even though she was doing this right before going to the graduation she was sure Jace would still probably be a mess by the time they get to the high school. But it was now or never. She pulled out the dark green dress, a small green bow, and little brush. She then walks over and picks up Jace. As soon as they sit down on the small couch across from her desk, Gates walks in.
"Hello Captain Beckett," she says. "And this must be little Johanna Castle."
Kate nods, "Yes, it is." She pulls off the baby's t-shirt. She lays the dress over her, "Where's Jace?" Kate says, trying to butter up the baby. She swiftly pulls the dress down. "There she is!" A big smile spreads across Jace's face.
"Jace? That's cute," Gates says, leaning back on the desk.
Kate grabs the brush and small ponytail, "Yeah, Lux's friend Tasha, just said it one day and it stuck." She plops the baby on her lap, facing out to Gates. "I'm sorry I'm still here. I just needed to drop off those signed reports and make sure everything was good for today."
"Oh no, I'm glad I got to see you. Both of you," Gates says. "How are you?"
"Good," Kate answers, collecting the little wisps of light brown hair on top of Jace's head into a ponytail, letting the little ringlets at the nape of her neck stay where they are. "You know what?" Kate says now looking up at Gates. "I'm really good. The last couple years I've just been saying that because that's what you say, but today- today I'm really good."
Gates smiles softly and cocks her head to the side. "And the other days?"
"I'm happy then too, but I'm worried. I am worried all the time and I am not built for that- not like this, but not today."
"Today is a good day," Gates filled in, "Which is why you two should go."
Kate smiles, "Yes, we should." She picks up her two bags. She bounces the baby to sit her back above her hip. "Thanks again," Kate says.
"Of course," Gates says.
As soon as she exits into the bullpen, it takes five seconds flat for one of the newer detectives, Nelson, to approach her. She waves him over to encourage him to walk with her. "Hey Captain, I had a question that I thought- oh hey you," he says, quickly going from nervous professionalism to awing over the baby. "You must be Lux." Kate thinks about correcting him, but her voice catches, "What was your question?"
"Oh, I was wondering if there was an easy way to push lab results along."
"You can wait," Kate says, pressing the elevator button. She can see the disappointment in his face. "Look there is nineteen cases being worked on and two techs. You can lend a hand, make yourself busy- run other leads, but don't cut in line." The elevator dings, as he nods and says, "Thank you ma'am."
"Beckett," Kate corrects walking into the elevator. When she turns around, she adds, "And this is Jace."
"Oh, I'm sorry I thought your daughter's name was Lux."
She smiles as the door begins to close. "I have more than one."
…
As soon as Kate walks in the door, she sees many capped and gowned students. Even with all the patches of black blobs, it isn't hard to find her people. She readjusts the baby on her hip, then makes her way into the school.
"Where's Castle?" Kate asks, when she finally reaches the group, specifically her father, Martha, and Fern.
"He's parking the car," Martha answers.
"Okay…" She says, drawing out as she sees, most of the students shuffling to a corner. She then looks to Lux and Tasha, who are goofing off together, huddled to themselves. Martha follows her gaze and puts her hands out. "Let me take her, you go and get the girls settled."
"Thanks," Kate says, passing the baby to Martha. She goes to the girls, who are joyfully chatting. "Come on you two, let's go."
No sooner do they disappear into the crowd, does Castle come through the main doors on the school, along with Lanie and Esposito. "Look who I found in the parking lot."
"Javi!" Sarah Grace yelps from Jenny's arms.
"Graceland!" Esposito says, putting on a goofy demeanor for the little girl. Jenny puts the little girl on the ground, so that she can run over to greet him.
It's not long before the family and friends of the graduate are encouraged to head into the auditorium. Castle finds a row of seats that is empty, perfect for their group. Castle and Beckett, wanting to sit together but also having baby with them, let everyone go first so they can sit near the aisle. As everyone shuffles in, Jace, who is now in Castle's arms, drops her pacifier out of her mouth and onto the floor. Beckett promptly picks it up and pops it into her own mouth. Castle scowls at her, "That's disgusting."
Beckett stops and squints at him, before skeptically talking around the pacifier, "I thaw you do the thame thing yestherday morning."
"I was tired. And we were at home," Castle defends, as the rest of their group passes them to seat themselves.
Beckett passes him, jokingly rolling her eyes. "Thyeah well, thirst off, noth cleaner. Thecond off, ith's," After getting settled in her seat, she pulls the pacifier out of her mouth, "-the only pacifier I brought and we have to sit here for two hours with a six-month-old." She smiles at him the way she does when she knows she has already won and holds out the binky in her palm, just slightly out of the reach of the baby, who is trying to grab it, "But you know what Castle it's your call."
He makes a disgusted pout, "It's still gross."
Beckett smiles and quickly pops the pacifier in Jace's mouth. The baby joyfully giggles and starts gumming the pacifier. "You were supposed to be on my side," Castle whispers at the baby, who in response smiles (almost dropping the pacifier again.) She scrunches her nose at him, the exact same way Beckett does when she's jokingly unsure. Beckett doesn't see it, because she has already started talking to Martha and her dad, who are sitting on the other side of her. He wishes that she would have seen it, because she is always playfully teasing that the baby is so much more like Castle than herself, but sometimes he worries it actually bothers her.
It's not long before the ceremony begins. The lights go down in the auditorium. The audience of family and friends slowly grow silent, only to erupt into cheering and clapping when the graduates begin to shuffle into the auditorium. With the last name Beckett, Lux is one of the first kids in line. As soon as she walks into the room, Castle says, "There she is." When Lux takes her seat, she turns obviously looking for some familiar face as she waits for the rest of the kids to shuffle in. The lights are on the graduates, so Kate is almost sure that Lux won't be able to see them, but Lux is very visible to everyone else, truly living up to her name. It's not too long before Natasha comes in. Lux immediately spot her and waves. Tasha gives a small reserved wave back. "Do you see Tasha?" Kate asks. Castle nods yes, with a smile. As the ceremony begins, Lux and Natasha sit, all attention on the different speakers. Ever so often, Lux seems to break her attention to take in the entire scene. It makes Castle really think about what she is going through her head. This may be a pretty regular step in life for most people, but for Lux and Tasha it is an amazing accomplishment. One that is not lost on him, and as he looks down the row with everyone watching so intently, it doesn't seem lost on anyone of them either. Well, that is, except Jace, who is quickly starting to doze off.
…
Castle and Beckett had planned a small gathering after the graduation to celebrate the girls. Though, Fern and Tasha's boyfriend, Jones, couldn't make it everyone else from the graduation had relocated to the loft. An hour into the party, not only has everyone made it to the loft, but they've all settled in. Tasha and Alexis are at the island talking over bowls of chips, a plate of brownies and cookies, and a plate of veggies. Castle, Lanie, Ryan, and Jenny are playfully exchanging jokes and banter. Espo and Sarah Grace, having just split from the previous group when a chase ensued, are laughing together as Espo catches Sarah Grace and throws her in the air.
Lastly, Kate is trying to take a picture of Lux, her dad, and Jace together. She lifts up her phone, but as soon as she opens her camera a message flashes on her phone. "Shoot, my phone's about to die," Kate says, taking the phone down. "I'm gonna go put it on the charger." Kate smiles, before walking away towards the bedroom. On the way, she runs into Martha who is coming down the stairs. "Hey kid," Martha says. She gestures to the upstairs, "I put a little something for Lux on her bed."
Kate smiles, "I'm sure she'll appreciate that. Thanks."
"It's a good party," Martha says.
"To end a good day," Kate smiles, scanning the room quickly, taking a look at everyone.
"They've come a long way," Martha says, "You all have." Kate turns back at her, smile fading a little. "Hey kiddo, you should be proud of that."
Kate gives a quick wavering smile, "I know… and I am." Kate holds up her phone. "I've gotta charge my phone. I took way too many pictures today." Martha smiles an understanding smile, as Kate disappears into the bedroom.
"I've got something for you," Jim says. Lux shocks at this. He tries to get to the pocket in the inside of his jacket, but can't quite reach while holding Jace.
"Here," Lux says, taking Jace.
Jim gives her a thankful smile. As soon as the baby is passed off, he can reach into his pocket with ease. He takes out an envelope. "It's not much-" He starts.
"You really didn't have to," Lux says.
"Of course, I did," Jim rebuttals. "What are grandfathers for?"
"Love and attention," Lux laughs, taking the envelope.
"And someone to give a little here and there," Jim smiles.
Lux returns the smile, "Thank you."
"… And if you could do me a favor, I have a gift for Natasha as well, but I suspect that she'll be as receptive as you," he says, handing her a new envelope labelled 'Natasha.'
"I didn't mean to be unappreciative."
"You weren't. You're just a little..."
"Bullheaded? Standoffish?" Lux playfully fills in.
"Yeah, something like that," Jim laughs. "But between you and me," he leans in a little to whisper, "I know where you get it from." He stands straight again. He looks off into the distance and although Lux doesn't have to look to see where or who he's looking at she does. She sees Kate just before she disappears into the bedroom. Lux smiles and looks back at him.
She lowers her own voice now, "You may be onto something." He smiles in return. She turns away to head towards Tasha. "Thanks again," Lux says, over her shoulder one last time. "Ank," Jace repeats, making Jim laugh before beginning a conversation with Martha.
Lux walks over replopping the baby on her hip. Just as she is walking up, Alexis begins to walk away, leaving Tasha alone at the island. "Hey, Jim had a gift for you."
"A gift?" Tasha asks, skeptically.
"A graduation present, you know, something normal people get," Lux says, extending the envelope to Tasha.
"When did we become normal people?" Tasha asks.
Lux shrugs, "Not sure we are." They both give little laughs. Lux puts her envelope on the counter, and Tasha puts hers in her jacket pocket.
"So," Tasha asks, "What are you going to do now?"
Lux shrugs, looking at Jace who is looking at her with intent curiosity as if she too wants to hear the answer. Lux had been accepted to a community college, but still had no idea what she was going there for. Natasha was accepted to an art college and already knew she was going to go for photography. Lux wished she had that type of vision for herself, but she just never had that much forward thinking for life past the age of eighteen. Trying to now, all of the sudden, seemed impossible. "I don't know still. I'm just going to try to get through my gen-eds and go from there."
"That good enough to me," Tasha shrugs. "As long as you don't become a writer or something," she jokes.
"No," Lux laughs. She had improved greatly in her writing, but she had little to no passion for it. She had thought about social work or even law, like- she starts looking around the room, scanning it for her mom. About ten minutes ago she had said she was going to charge her phone, but Lux would assume she'd done that already. Lux excuses herself from Tasha, which includes handing the baby off to her. Jace fusses a bit, which she does all the time when Tasha holds her. Most likely because she stiffens like a board, when holding her. They both seem to like each other more from a distance. Lux smirks, but goes to turn away. "Hey, wait," Tasha says.
"You're fine," Lux says with a smirk spreading across her face, "just relax." She doesn't refocus herself forward again, until she reaches the bookcase. She slides it to the side. Her eyes quickly gravitate to Kate.
She's sitting on the side of her bed with one leg tucked under her while she's looking down at her phone. Lux slides the door closed more gently then she had whipped it open before. Even so, Kate's head pops up. "Hey," she says, so softly it changes Lux's demeanor.
"What're you doing?" Lux asks.
Kate holds up her phone, which is hooked to the charger. "Just came to charge my phone."
"That really should only take you a minute, tops."
"Were you timing me?" Kate jokes. Silence suddenly washes over them. Kate thinks Lux must have taken her question badly. "I was joking," she insists.
"I know," Lux says. She gently walks up to the bed. "But are you okay? You seem off."
Kate smiles, a closed smile, blinking heavily. "Just tired."
"You sure?" Lux asks. Kate can hear her voice lighten up a little. "Yeah," Kate says, making sure to plaster on a genuine smile this time.
Lux turns to walk back to the party. Kate winces with the last-minute decision to ask her a question that's been triggered in her mind a couple times today, "Wait, Lux?"
Lux turns back to her with a trace of a smile still on her face. "What's up?"
"Do you ever think- if we were going to end up here, that things would have been better if-"
"If you didn't give me up?" Lux finishes. She purses her lips, thinking. It's not that she hasn't ever thought of the question, it's that she never really lets herself think of the answer. She walks over and sits down on the bed next to her mom. "I've spent many years asking that question or something like it."
"And?" Kate asks, looking into Lux's eyes.
"And… not only will you rip yourself apart doing it, but it's not real. Think about it. We wouldn't be here. We would have been- I don't know where, maybe Tasha's place, who by the way I wouldn't know and you probably wouldn't have the job you have." Kate glares at her skeptically. "Okay, so you'd probably still be a detective, but maybe you wouldn't be captain, or at least you wouldn't be a detective as young as you were."
Kate shrugs, now agreeing with Lux, "I probably wouldn't have been with the team I was given. I wouldn't know Ryan and Espo."
"And maybe your captain back then gives Ryan and Javi the case where you meet Castle instead. No Castle, no Alexis, no Martha, no Jace, Ryan, Javi, or Tasha." Lux sighs, looking down at her hands. "I'm not going to lie. I would have loved to have been with you my entire life, if we would have ended up here, but it's not what happened or could have happened." She shakes her head, then looks to Kate again. "It's not real."
Kate smiles, then asks, "How did you get so smart?"
Lux shrugs, "Genetics…" Kate shoots her a playfully skeptical glare. "…And I had a pretty good tutor."
"Speaking of which, we should go back out there before he realizes we're missing."
"Yeah, and there's cake," Lux laughs, but as Kate stands and starts walking to the door Lux's smile fades and she goes silent for a second. She wants to say something more, but she doesn't want to mess what she's already said up. But after another moment, she realizes she wants to be clear. Clear that she hasn't just accepted Kate's past decisions, but understands them. She stands up and catches Kate with her voice, "And mom."
Kate turns and looks at Lux. She lets out a quiet, "yeah," when she sees how serious Lux looks.
"If we lived in that world, where- where we only had each other and something happened to you and I found out I was pregnant… When I was growing up, I was so mad at you, but I thought I know what nineteen feels like. And I would tell myself nineteen is an adult and if she wanted me, she could have kept me. But I'm eighteen now and if something happened to you… I'm just trying to say-"
Kate shakes her head and pulls Lux into a hug, "I know- I know what you meant." After just a moment of soaking in their hug, Kate kisses the top of Lux's head and pulls away. "We really should get out there."
Lux smirks, "Yes, we should. I mean, there is possibly missing persons reports being filed on both of us right now."
"Yeah," Kate chokes out a bit. She leads Lux out by her shoulders. She's about to say something, but as soon as they are back in the bright living room, Tasha quickly walks up to them. "There you guys are!"
"I told you we we've been considered missing," Lux says, before Tasha reaches them.
"Here's that," Tasha says, handing Jace off to Kate. She takes the baby, holding her above her head. "Thank you, Tasha," she says, in a cutesy baby voice.
Immediately after handing her the baby, Tasha straightens her shirt and tucks her hair behind her ears. "No problem," she says, in her most monotone voice.
Kate almost brings the baby closer, before she notices the baby's messy little hands. "What is on her hands?"
"Oh, I gave her some frosting from the brownies," Tasha says, pointing back at the island that has an array of food on it.
"Thank you, Tasha," Kate repeats, this time full of sarcasm. She slowly and carefully settles the baby into her, facing her outwards.
"They want to take a picture," Tasha says. "They were waiting for you guys."
"We can do that," Kate says, a little hesitant. She knows she has to look… a little rough. And is holding a ticking mess bomb. "Who's they?"
"Castle, Martha, Ryan, mostly Alexis," Tasha says.
"Fair enough," Kate says. "You guys rejoin the party. I'll be there in a minute." They do as they're told. "Frosting?" Lux asks, as they walk away, just barely still in earshot of Kate.
"It seemed rude not to share," Tasha justifies.
"You're such a softie," Lux says, elbowing Tasha. Kate smiles at their antics. Jace lets out an, "Eh?" Kate looks down to see Jace's hands extended out, reaching up to Kate's face. "Yeah, I see," Kate replies. She turns away and heads to the kitchen. On any other day, the diaper backpack would be by, on, or on the barstool of the island. Right now, who knows where it is so she walks into the kitchen. She sits the baby on the counter next to the sink, spinning Jace around so that she is facing the edge of the sink. She whimpers a little when Kate refocuses her attention on getting a paper towel. "Aw, Jace, you're fine." Kate runs the paper towel under the sink. "Mm," Jace hums, holding her hands out to Kate. Kate playfully nibbles on Jace's fingers. "Mm," Kate says, causing Jace to laugh. She smiles back at the baby and rings the paper towel out. She quickly wipes Jace's hands then her mouth. She was sure the baby would fuss, but she doesn't. Instead, she looks confused.
"Hey, Beckett," Lanie says walking over to stand by her.
"Hey," Kate says.
"What's going on over here?" Lanie asks with a hint of a baby voice.
"Oh, were just getting cleaned up," Kate says. "Isn't that right, Jace?" Jace yawns in response.
"You know they're wanting to take a picture?" Lanie asks, picking up Jace off the counter.
"Yeah," Kate says, throwing the paper towel in the garbage. "We just needed to wash up first."
"You actually have a little chocolate on your face," Lanie giggles.
"Of course," Kate laughs, wiping her mouth.
"How are you?" Lanie asks, gently. Kate wads the paper towel in her hand. She looks out into the living room and the rest of the party, as she leans back against the sink. "I'm good." She sees Castle telling an obviously riveting story. Lux seems to be jokingly rebutting something he said. He pulls her into his side, so she is tucked under his arm. She doesn't stumble, stiffen, or flinch. She continues laughing and talking. Kate turns back to Lanie, "I'm just surprised we got to this point."
Lanie smirks, looking out to the party. "She's a good kid, Kate."
"She is kinda great," Kate agrees, with a laugh. Jace leans her head against Lanie's shoulder, with a huff.
"You are too," Lanie jokes to Jace.
"We should get over there before this one falls asleep," Kate says, pushing off the counter. Together they rejoin the party. "There's the rest of the crew!" Castle chimes.
"Yeah, I heard that someone wanted to take a picture of this intrepid group," Kate says.
Castle smiles, "Another one of my idiot ideas." He leans forward to kiss her.
"Okay, do it then," Martha say, starting to shuffle people around.
Everyone erupts into gathering accordingly. Alexis grabs the camera in the office and quickly sets it up. Lanie calls to Castle, who looks over. She raises her eyebrows and holds the baby a little higher on her hip. He holds his hands out agreeing to take Jace. She passes the baby to him. Ryan and Jenny stand next to each other with little Sarah Grace sitting in between them in Jenny's arms. Next to Ryan is Javi, who is soon joined with Lanie. On the other end is Martha and Jim. Tasha, is being held in place by Lux, hugging her to her side. In the center is Beckett and Castle. He quietly asks her, "You and Lux went missing there for a minute. Everything okay?" She looks up at him with a smile, "Yeah, everything's great." He gives her another quick kiss and squeezes her close.
"Okay," Alexis announces, "Is everyone ready?"
"As ready as we'll ever be," Martha jokes, amid a few 'yeahs' and 'yeses.'
"Okay," Alexis hums, setting up the timer and looking for her path to where she'll go to stand. She clicks the timed photo option and starts to count down. "Okay, ten, nine…" she runs over to Lux going to stand next to and slightly behind her sister and Tasha. She fits herself perfectly in between Kate and Lux. She and everyone else smiles just in time for the camera to flash.
The End
Thanks again for reading this long and tolerating me. I hope you all enjoyed the ending and as I said before I hope this finds you all safe and sound.