Arthur Texts in to Crisis Text Line

by CityCat

Arthur Fleck has had a rough couple of weeks. His counselor won't see him, he lost his source of income, he can't refill his medications, and he has had several mental breakdowns in the midst of emotional crisis. This isn't 1981. This is 2020, and COVID-19 seized the world in fear, leaving the most desperate among us to suffer alone. But as Arthur learns, hope is just a text away.

Arthur Texts in to Crisis Text Line

By: CityCat

In the 2019 film, "Joker," Arthur Fleck (played by Joaquin Phoenix) lives with a variety of mental illnesses which seem to range from clinical depression to post-traumatic stress disorder to bouts of uncontrollable laughter secondary to severe head trauma as a child. Arthur has a social worker and a doctor who prescribes him his medications, but at one point in the film, his access to counseling and medication is cut. The film takes place in 1981, but many viewers of the film with mental illness see parallels in cuts to mental healthcare amid the COVID-19 pandemic and stay-at-home orders. Social distancing hinders counseling sessions, and job issues make it difficult to pay for medication. They, too, may be asking, "Where do I go? Who do I talk to?" without any helpful response. This year is 2020, and we have access to computers, cell phones, and other ways to connect with people that Arthur in 1981 did not. In this story, Arthur is sitting in his empty apartment after a bad day with nothing but a cell phone and a handgun. To those who feel alone, abandoned, and struggling with mental illness at this time, this story is for you.

System: Hi, this is Crisis Text Line. You're not alone. By texting further with us, you agree to our terms: [link not shown]. We can't receive messages 160 characters.

System: Resources and coping skills while we connect you: [link not shown]. (STOP to cancel convo). What's your crisis?

Arthur: I had a bad day.

System: Thanks for sharing. It might take you a moment to assign you to someone.

Jax: Hi there, I'm Jax. I'm hearing you've been having a difficult day today. I'm here to help and support you. What's been going on?

Arthur: My mother is in the hospital. The doctor says she had a stroke. Then I found out I was adopted and that my mother was committed for endangering me. I have no job and no way to pay for medical bills. I feel as if my whole life is a joke.

Jax: It must feel reeling to receive all this news at once. I can sense how much pain you're in. You're a strong person for texting in tonight.

Arthur: It's starting to sink in. I was always told to smile and put on a happy face, but I can't live a lie. I don't know what to do, how to feel. I just don't think I can take more disappointment in my life.

Jax: You've had a lot happen recently. It's understandable to feel sad and disappointed. Your feelings are valid. With all this going on, I'd like to check in with your safety: are you having suicidal thoughts?

Arthur: I'm starting to consider it. I have nothing left to lose.

Jax: Thank you for your honesty. I know this can be a difficult topic to talk about. Do you have a plan for how you would kill yourself?

Arthur: I have a handgun with me now. Might have put it to my head a couple times. I'm still deciding on when.

Jax: I gather you've been thinking about this for a while. Do you think you could put the gun somewhere out of sight while we talk?

Arthur: I can do that. You're not angry with me, are you? For wanting to die?

Jax: No, I promise I'm not angry. This is a safe space, and anything we talk about is 100 percent confidential. Moving forward, I want to help you the best I can. What does help look like today?

Arthur: I just don't want to feel so bad anymore. It's been a rough few weeks. But I've lost my social worker, and I can't get my medication.

Jax: Not having anyone to turn to in your moment of need can feel discouraging. If you'd like, we can discuss coping mechanisms, and I can give you referrals for professional services.

Arthur: It can't hurt to try. Sure. What do I do to start feeling better?

Jax: You know your situation best, so I can't really tell you what to do. When you feel depressed or angry, what usually helps?

Arthur: I'll watch TV or try to work on new material for my joke book. I do stand-up comedy. I'll kick some trash in an alleyway if I'm really upset. If I just need something to do with my hands, I'll smoke a cigarette.

Jax: Those all sound like good ways to take the edge off of sadness and anger. Do you feel up to doing any of those activities tonight?

Arthur: I'm on my fourth cigarette since we've been talking. Don't feel up to doing anything else except stare at TV static.

Jax: That's alright. I mentioned referrals for professional services. I have a local directory for affordable counseling I can give you called, "Open Counseling." I also have "211," which is a directory for local assistance with food, housing, and medical care.

Arthur: Both sound good. It will take time to set up appointments, assuming I'll find a counselor who really hears me. I just don't know if I'll be alright until then. I still feel like blowing my brains out.

Jax: I'll give you the links to both resources. Hopefully, you'll find them useful. Since you're still feeling suicidal, can we work together to brainstorm a plan to keep you safe?

Arthur: You really care about my life and well-being, don't you? You're actually listening to me.

Jax: I'm here to help and support you through your crisis; that's what we're here for. We take all of our texters' feelings and safety seriously and try to help them as much as possible.

Arthur: I'm starting to feel better just talking to you. It's crazy out there, and people are awful. But you're not awful. Thank you for reminding me that decent people still exist.

Jax: You're welcome. The fact that you're feeling better is very encouraging. What do you think you'll do the next time you're having suicidal thoughts?

Arthur: I don't know. I've thought about checking myself in to Arkham State Hospital. I felt better there than I have been in counseling. But I don't want to check in until I know my mother is going to be okay. I've been caring for her for years, and it's just been the two of us.

Jax: I can tell what a loving son you are to look after your mother. I'm sure she really appreciates you.

Arthur: I love my mother. But I don't think I can forgive her for keeping my adoption a secret. Lying to me all this time. Not protecting me when I was a child. I don't know how I could live with her again if she comes home.

Jax: You don't need to think that far ahead. You only found all this out today. Perhaps you could talk to her when she's well again and have an honest conversation about how you feel.

Arthur: That's one option to consider.

Jax: Until then, there's still the matter of having a plan in mind the next time you reach for the gun with the intent to kill yourself. How about we make a deal?

Arthur: What do you have in mind?

Jax: The next time you have suicidal thoughts, you try to do two activities to help you feel better. If those don't work, you text us again so that you're not alone. You shouldn't have to shoulder the weight of the world by yourself.

Arthur: That sounds reasonable. I'll try that.

Jax: You started this convo feeling overwhelmed by recent news and disappointed with life in general. How are you feeling now that we've been talking for a while?

Arthur: I feel better, actually. I can't say that I'm happy, but finally telling someone how I feel and being heard has really helped. I'll look into those resources you gave me and see if I can get in touch with another counselor.

Jax: It's okay to not feel 100 percent better. There's only so much help one convo can give, although I can tell you have some good inner strength. Let's wrap up here so you can focus on that next step. Have a better night and take care.

Arthur: You too. Thank you so much for this. You may have just saved my life.