Its been so long! And I don't want to bore you with explanations of my absence. But someone told me to just post whatever I wrote, so I am doing this for that reader. I know you know who you are.

ENJOY! This chapter is shorter than others. So, sorrrrrry. (1/25/18)

Chapter 9

When Hinata was four years old she always dreamt to be married to a prince and live with her prince in a castle in the sky and live happily ever after. When she turned eight, she only wished to see the boy who saved her, her knight-in-shining-armour. At 12 she selfishly dream of extending her life and be with the one she loves for a longer time. At 16, before their encounter, she only dream of him noticing her. Every four years her hopes and dreams change, being lesser and lesser. She does not expect that now in her 20th, she will be married to the man she had ever loved and will ever be.

Hinata woke up languidly. She felt so at peace. It has been a long time that she woke up satisfied and contented. She has her back leaning on the hard chest of her new husband. She felt her new husband wrapped his arms on her waist pulling her closer. She heard him mumble something before kissing her back and returning back to sleep.

This is the official first day of their marriage life. She cannot deny that she is really excited to spend the month with her husband in this paradise. She cannot wait to be the wife that she has been dreaming of since she was a little kid. And certainly, she cannot wait to spend the rest of her remaining life with the man she loves.

Last night was a revelation to her. She doesn't know if the 'I love you' was for her, but she cannot stop her heart from beating wildly in her chest; whether it is directed to her or not, she doesn't care, as long as he is happy. Although her heart does yearn to hear it straight from his mouth directed to her. However, she knows that she cannot force it and she will not, because his happiness is her top priority. But it doesn't also mean that she will just be a masochist, the truth is she is happy. Just being with the man she loves is enough for her to be.

She meekly faces him and wrapped her own arms on his torso. Slowly, she touched his sideburns and his scar on the cheeks. She loved how unique these marks are on him, however knowing the story behind this makes her heart reach out for him. How she wished that she was there when he needed someone with him. How she wished that she had the courage to speak to him, those times when he was bullied because of always being the last on the class. More importantly, how she wished she could have more time to spend with him.

He slowly opened his eyes; blue eyes to lavender depths, both were dancing with mirth and serenity. They just remained in the silence of each other's company; just lying down staring at each other. Hinata felt Naruto's arms tightened around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Even being with him for a very long time, he still makes her blush. She felt his hard toned legs enveloped with her soft ones; his chest pressed on hers, and his hips teasing hers.

"Good morning, Hime." He pecked her lips, "What should we do today?"

She hugged him, smelling and kissing his neck first before answering, "I just want to stay here in the bed. I am not actually in the mood to go outside."

"But Hime, the day is so good to be ignored." He protested silently, trying to coax her out of the bed.

"I know. But, this is just our second day here." She withdrawn a little and looked at him, "I just want to spend the day with my husband. Besides, we have the whole month for ourselves." She hugged him again, "Can't we just talk? I just want to rest and lazily spend the day with you today."

He chuckled and pulled her tighter, "Okay. You're the boss."

She giggled, "Yeeey! I won!"

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Naruto asked, running his hands lazily on her side.

"Let's just ask each other questions, but we should be honest and it is not allowed not to answer." She said playfully.

"Hmmm," he kiddingly contemplates, "okay."

"Me first!" she said excitedly, sitting astride his hips, before finally lying on top of him "who serves the best ramen for you?"

He laughs shyly and silently said, "you. It is so much better than Ichiraku's."

Her heart skipped a beat. She felt her face reddens, thus she hides on his chest. He just simply wrapped his arms on her and asked her, "Who was your first boyfriend?"

She gasped; technically she never had a boyfriend. She doesn't know what to answer him since before they got married, the only relationship she had is friends with benefits with him. She tried contemplating for her answer, but what more can she say than the truth, "I never had one, Naruto-kun." She whispered in his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath her. "Well, maybe except for what we had, I really had no intimate relationships with anyone, at all. Besides, I was only sixteen when we have started all of this. I never really had the time to play around." Hinata looked at his eyes before mumbling, "and you know, I only have eyes for you."

"Hmm." Hinata can only guess that what Naruto might be showing right now was confusion based on what she heard from him. "I never realized that…" she heard her husband said, with clear disappointment in his voice, "I'm sorry Hinata, you could have had better life than what you have if I did not force you into this...situation"

The change in the air was evident. The earlier light mood was replaced by the tight feeling of regret, sadness and disappointment. Hinata can only touch his hand and softly kiss it before comforting her confused husband, "Don't feel that way Naruto-kun. You know how much I love you and how is this my choice; you never forced me into anything." She kissed his chest before looking up at him. She smiled and cheekily tried to set the mood light again, "its my turn now, right?"

Naruto only nodded at her, "So, what are your plans after we graduate?"

There was a pause, before Hinata heard Naruto sigh. "I actually don't know. I don't want to take over our business, you know? I feel like it was my father's legacy, but not mine. I want to have my own name, but not in the business field." He chuckled, "I never really told this to anyone, but I am afraid to be just a shadow of my father, you know? I don't want the limelight, the expectations, and everything that is my father now. I want to be so much more, to be my own person, to simply be just Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze without people only recognizing me because of my lineage," he sighed, "but I don't know if I can."

Hinata stared at him wide-eyed, he never shared this to anyone? She felt elated knowing this, and at the same time, she felt like she need to say something, "Naruto-kun, whatever it is that you want, I know that you can achieve it. You just have to believe in yourself that you can do it. I know that it may be kind of hypocritical coming from me, but I know that you can be so much more if you just have faith in yourself." She smiled fondly at him, touching his sideburns once again, "you have everything that you need to succeed, all you have to do is to see them."

The uncertainty that was marring Naruto's face was replaced by comfort. He slowly grinned at her and dragged her up to kiss her fully on the lips. She gladly kissed him back before she heard him say in her lips "Thank you, Hinata. That means a lot to me."

They have continued asking each other's questions. There was something between them that changed since the day they have exchanged their vows. They feel more connection, not only physically, but on emotional level. Hinata can never wished for anything else at this time.

They were enjoying each other's company while they lie around lazily when suddenly the telephone rings. Naruto was the one to pick it up. Hinata can clearly see how his mood became even better. His smile looks so genuine and light that she can see the pure, unadultered happiness swimming in his eyes. She wonders who was on the other side of the phone to illicit this kind of emotion from her husband. Is it Shion? Before Hinata can even stop her thoughts, she felt her heart tighten.

When will she leave us alone? She just decided to face away from her husband clutching her aching heart. She might lose it anytime that she had to breathe deeply to calm herself.

Naruto must have noticed the change in his wife's demeanour that he asked the person he is talking with to hang up. He slowly approached her back on the bed.

"Hey, are you okay?" Naruto gently prod, kissing her temple.

Hinata feeling a little better faced him again and smiled meekly, "I am just hungry," she lied.

"Do you want me to prepare something for you?" he asked lying down with her, while playing with her hair.

"Nah. I'll prepare us food later." She smiled, "I just want to lie down a little longer."

Naruto shocked Hinata when he suddenly pulled her close to him, nuzzling her neck with his hair. "By the way, my cousin, Karin called. She wanted to meet with us."

Karin? His cousin? She thought confused, it wasn't Shion? She felt the sudden wave of relief wash over her. "Okay." She smiled more genuinely.

They just lie there in the softness of their bed. Naruto combing the blue tresses of his wife, as Hinata paints circles on his chest as she listens to his heart.

"Naruto-kun, did you know that I have loved you since we were kids?"

Naruto's hand suddenly stopped moving, his heart thumping loudly in Hinata's ears. She somehow regrets asking. She was about to take the question back but she heard him sigh and said, "I'm not really sure. I was dense, you know." He said jokingly before silently laughing at his self. He kind of expected Hinata to agree and laugh with him, but she surprised him.

Hinata harrumphed and pouted as he stared at him, "No, you're not."

Naruto looked shocked. This was the first time he heard someone not make him a fool; and was angry at him making a fool of himself. "Hinata."

"Naruto-kun, you may be slow to understand things by the book, but that does make you any lesser than anyone. You may not be intelligent like Sasuke or genius like Shikamaru, but I know you are street smart. You are a proud failure." Hinata slowly regarded him, touching his face before she returned in her original position on his chest. "I have seen you worked so hard—in studying, in making friends, in being acknowledged by Sakura when we were in grade school, and by Shion now in college—and even if you fail countless of times, you still managed to laugh and get back up. You might have failed, but you never gave up in everything you felt passionate about. And I think that it is not foolishness, but your strength. If it is other people, they might already have quit or became lost in life when they have been bullied or they have been left to fend for their selves, but you did not. Instead, you smile and manage to change the people around you; including me. And for me, that is what real strength is. It is not the intelligence, or the cleverness, but it is learning your worth and your own strength that makes you less of a fool that you think of yourself. I hope that you see your worth more because being blind to it makes you a fool. You know you deserve all the love and all you have right now, and I hope that you also see that you are worthy to receive this."

She giggled softly before continuing, still lazily drawing circles on his chest, "I was afraid to die before, you know. When I learned about my condition, I lost all hope; I felt that life is not worth it with all the pain and suffering. I study every single day to graduate, and when I do, I have to work hard to provide for myself, but I always thought of the point of all of this. Why do we have to suffer, feel pain and always struggle when at the end of all of this we would all die?" she sighed and rest her chin on his chest. She could see the bewilderment on her husband's eyes, "I had no hope. I am dying anyway. Every day is another day lost in my life. I just wanted to die shortly. The day I was kidnapped, I was struggling to get away, but it was an opportunity for me; an opening to shorten my life through the hand of my kidnapper. But, then you came, taking a bullet for me, being my knight-in-shining-armour. The moment you held my hand and smiled at me while struggling from pain from the gunshot, I learned that I want to live more. To experience more pain just to be have another day with you. when you took that bullet that as supposed to be mine, I kno from that moment on, that my life

"At first, I was confused with how you love to stay in the hospital. I have always hated the hospital because my mom was always there, and I learned of my condition there. It confused me to no end, but when we became friends, I slowly understood.

"It really was selfish for me to just wish to die because of something that is not within my control. I have everything, a loving parents and family, a home, I always have food on my plate, and you have nothing. Yet, you wanted to live when I do not. So, the day that I met you was the same day that I wanted to live again." She reached out to him and kissed him on the mouth. "Your smile saved me. Thank you, Naruto-kun. I love you and I always will."

Hinata can see the confusion in his eyes. This must be so hard for him, so before he could even attempt to open his mouth, she said. "You don't have to answer me, Naruto-kun. It wasn't a question that needs one. I just want you to know. But don't feel any pressure to return my feelings, because I just want you to be happy. And I know that I will never be the person that you need." She smiled fondly at him and without waiting for a reply from him, stood up. She got dressed and walked to the kitchen.

Somehow, opening up to him makes her happy. But she was serious when she told him that she expects no answer from him. She was just afraid that she might die any moment without him knowing her feelings for him.

She is now done preparing their lunch. She can still hear Naruto in the shower. But, it has already been an hour since he entered the bathroom. She is starting to get worried. Putting the food on the table, she knocked on the door. "Naruto-kun? Lunch is ready. Are you done already?"

There is no response from the other side. The only sound is the shower running. She frowned, and got even more worried. "Naruto-kun? Can you please open the door?" she said, panic on her voice as she hurriedly and loudly knock.

She can no longer wait for his reply, so she got the spare key from the drawer and open the bathroom. She stopped on her tracks when she saw a naked Naruto sitting under the shower; his head resting on his knees that was bent, his shoulders shaking. He is crying.

Hinata slowly approached him, and knelt in front of him. She doesn't care if she is still wearing her clothes and it is now soaked with water. She just needs to know what is wrong with her husband. To help him of what he is facing right now.

"Naruto-kun, look at me." Hinata whispered as she placed her hand under his chin and her him look at her. At first, there was hesitation from him, but he gradually look back at her. "What's wrong?"

She was answered by silence. He just stared at her as tears flow from his eyes. His body is still rocking with silent tears. Then he suddenly hugged her, "I am so sorry Hinata."

Hinata doesn't know what to do or say, so she just hugged him back with all the comfort she can offer. "I am so sorry Hinata," he repeated, "I am not the man for you. I don't deserve you. I am afraid to fall in love with you."

She felt her heart clench, her eyebrows frowning. What is he saying? "I don't understand you, Naruto-kun. But, I love you and I will never leave you. You cannot tell me if I deserve you or not, because I will be the judge of that. And I may not be worthy of you, but please let me love you."

Naruto shook his head. All disapproval was in his face. He kept on sobbing, not really caring if his snot and tears were already mixing with the flowing water. "I am a coward Hinata. I am afraid that people might leave me, that's why I don't get attached with people. The only reason I agreed to have a sexual relationship with you is because I know we made some rules. I never thought that you have loved for so long now. And it will be unfair to you, because I can never love you back."

He cried nonstop now, "All the people I loved left me; my father and mother, my friends, you when we were young, and I am afraid that you might leave me too even if we are already married."

Hinata enveloped him in a hug, and whispered "I regretted the day I left you, and I never want to feel the same pain when I did that. I promise you that I will never ever leave you. So please, let me love you."

"You don't understand Hinata," he said still sobbing his heart out, "I am not capable of trusting anyone ever again. You will just hurt yourself when you stay with me because I would just leave you.

"I cannot play with your heart. I have already been so unfair to you when I asked you to be my fuck buddy. I have hurt you when I have told you countless times how much I love your cousin. I am killing you now because I married you."

Hinata closed her eyes, feeling her heart aching, before meeting his eyes, "why did you marry me?"

A look of anguish passed his eyes. Guilt and sadness filled the blue eyes that she loved so much. It hurts seeing how her husband struggles to answer her. Eventually he let go of her, and in a soft voice he broke her, "because I will never love you for you to hurt me."

Suddenly, Hinata tensed up. She can feel her heart crippling inside her chest. Her eyes are starting to tear up, is this the consequence of being with him? She thought sadly. But, it is better than not being with him, at all. This is enough. Hinata sat on the floor, still facing Naruto, "I know that you would never love me, Naruto-kun, and I have already told you time and time again that I don't care. As long as I am with you, it is already enough for me. Let me love you unconditionally without asking anything in return." She hugged her husband who is looking at her. His eyes still red and puffy but the tears already stopped. "Stop crying, because I will never leave you. And that is a promise."

Naruto suddenly embraced her hard, "Hinata, thank you."

After what happened, they have decided to meet up with Naruto's cousin, Karin.

Karin was with her boyfriend Suigetsu. All four of them decided to eat on the beachside. The girls were having so much fun talking with each other while the guys decided to talk about business. It was not very hard for Hinata to feel at ease with her husband's cousin. She felt like she needed to talk with someone—someone close to her husband.

"So, Hina-chan, how was your wedding night?" Karin laughed as Hinata's cheeks flushed.

"Karin-chan!" Hinata called, "stop teasing me!"

Karin laughed boisterously, "I was just kidding." She laughed again, "but really, how was your first day being an Uzumaki-Namikaze?"

Hinata stared down at her fingers lying on top of her lap. She smiled blissfully, "It was a dream come true." But her smile becomes forlorn, "but it is a means to an end."