"Did you enjoy talking with my cousin? I hope she wasn't that loud for you." He laugh as he wrapped his arms on her shoulders.
Hinata only smiled at him and nodded a little. There were things still bothering her. Things that she knows she has no control over; but she cannot help it. Although, she does not want to think about it now that she is with Naruto. She just hopes that it is not showing on her face right now.
Naruto continued talking about what he and Suigestu has conversed about this past few hours. He was glad that he got some ideas on how to run their company once his father decided to put the responsibility on his shoulders. They kept walking on the beachside as they watch the sun set for the day.
Colors of orange and lavender filled the sky as the ocean drown the sun in its glory. Hinata watched it in awe. She had always loved moments like this. She did not notice that Naruto stopped talking and just stared at her as she set her eyes on the view unfolding in front of her.
"it is so beautiful" Hinata murmured, appreciating the beauty of the coming twilight.
"it is." Naruto answered, not really looking at the scenery, but on the smile that was painted on his wife's lips. He felt his heart stopped at the glow he sees on her eyes. Everyting paled compared to what he is witnessing right now.
He had never seen her this happy with him before. With him, he can always notice her suppressing her emotions other than passion and lust. It is only until she confessed her love for him that he also noticed the love, but never the unsheltered happiness in her eyes. Suddenly he felt guilty.
He didn't notice that he tightened her grip on her hands. This made Hinata look at him. She noticed the frown on his face as if he is thinking of something very important, "is something the matter?"
He briefly closed his eyes before turning his back on her. He touched both her hands before saying earnestly, "I am so sorry, Hinata. You don't deserve me."
Hinata can only smile. It is me who doesn't. I will just hurt you eventually. I was just so selfish that I kept you even if I know that I will just leave you. Hinata knows that this time will eventually come. That this words will be uttered. This is how much she knows him. And this does not alleviate any feeling of guilt away from her. It just made her even more remorseful.
Instead of being happy, she felt saddened by this. This is how small Naruto sees himself. This is how broken he is and soon she will break him more. This made her heart clench and reach out for him. She reached for his cheeks and tenderly stroked the whiskers on his face, "I love you and always remember that. It is I who does not deserve a great man like you." she sadly smiled, knowing that the end begins when they got married.
"See!" Naruto suddenly exclaimed, making Hinata draw back a little. Then on a softer voice, he said "You are this accepting of me even if you know I might never return your feelings." Naruto can only look down at their connected hands. He felt how much Hinata loves him even in the way she touch him. There is always this tender caress that feels that she always protects him. How can I do this to her? She does not deserve me.
Hinata smiled sadly, "I know but I never wanted you to return anything for me, because I love you because I love you and there is no other reason for me to feel otherwise. So please, stop being so hard on yourself." She replied softly, trying to make him feel better. But she knows she can't. She can only convey her feelings as much. "Naruto, you are a great man. Always remember that. You deserved to be loved, that's why I am loving you this much. Learn to love yourself okay? That is already enough for me." She caressed his whisker marks again smiling tenderly. At least he will not hurt as much if he learned to love himself.
Naruto felt an overwhelming feeling enveloping him. He cannot stop himself from hugging her hard, and kissing the crown of her head. " Thank you, Hinata." If only I can return your feelings for me.
She returned the favor with as much love she can put in that hug. She then draw back a little later.
"Naruto, I want you to promise me something." This is the least that I can do for both of us. Hinata pensively asked.
"As long as you promise not to leave me." There is a desperation, a plea that only made her even more guilty.
"I promise." She said, briefly closing her eyes.
"What is it then?" Naruto grinned at her, feeling more secured that Hinata promised to him. He knows that she does not go back on her words, and he believes her more than anything.
"I know you love my cousin, and I can't stop you from feeling that." Hinata started. Naruto doesn't know where would this go but he kept his mouth shut. "But I just want you to promise me that we will never lie to each other. I want this marriage to work somehow and if we can't love each other, then maybe some honesty would suffice." Hypocrite! Hinata can only swallow the lump on her throat as the pain in her heart spread.
There was a pregnant pause between them. Hinata's hand is still on his cheeks while he still held the other on his.
Hinata was afraid of what might Naruto's answer would be. She knows that what she was asking is too much for him, but she needs this, even if it would kill him. Before she can even withdraw her words, she heard him say "I promise, Hinata. That's the least thing I can do for you."
From that moment on their honeymoon made a sweeter turn.
Their stay in the resort was pure bliss for the both of them. There are times where they just spend the days in their room doing nothing but loving each other's bodies. There are days when they walk around the town to explore the beautiful things it could offer. There are even times when they go their separate ways to spend time with Karin and Suigetsu. But at the end of the day, one thing is for sure, they always go home to each other's arms. Endless nights of passion were spent with each other where Hinata would always say her love for him and Naruto saying sweet nothings to her and thanking her always after they made love.
Its almost time for them to go back to Konoha. Both were saddend by this because of the good things they have shared in that beautiful town. But they have to ho back to reality, especially that in two months will already be their graduation.
Hinata received a message from Sakura and Ino that she can actually gradute summa cum laude if she manage to take her final exams in a week, which made her so happy. When Naruto knew of this, they decided to celebrate out. He wanted to treat her wife out for her great performance in her academics. Especially when he always had a hard time studying before the both of them met.
Naruto was studying Media Arts in the university and he always had a hard time passing his written exams. However, that all changed when they started their little game. More than learning and exploring sexually together, Hinata also tutored him on their common subjects or even those that he has a hard time grasping.
So Naruto wanted to take this opportunity to bring her wife out especially that they have to go home soon. They will have lesser time for each other then.
"I really am proud of you, Hime." He said as he kiss the back of her hands. They were now sitting on one of the restaurants on the beachside. There is lighter mood on this restaurant as there is a melodic music playing in the background, setting the mood even better.
"Thank you Naruto-kun. Although, I still have to finish five final exams when we get back. I am actually nervous that I might flunk." She has to take the exams right after they get back, and because she has been so preoccupied she never really had a time to just study for those.
Naruto could only laugh at her. "Are you kidding me? You, flunk? No way! You had the last seven semesters always on top, you don't want to ruin that record right? You'll do great, trust me." He smiled sincerely as he touched the back of her hands. "Besides, there is no way that my personal tutor and now my wife would fail. Trust me, Hime, you'll be fine." He laugh again as he rubbed his nape when he continued, "I am even more afraid to flunk. I never even bothered opening any of my books this semester."
Hinata laughed at his antics. Of course, she would never let that happen. She wanted to graduate with him so if she needs to tutor him again, then so be it.
Hinata smiled at him feeling warmth spread from her heart. This is the reason why she fell in love with him. He always knows what to say when she is feeling down. He is just so sensitive when it comes to her. She felt so grateful for being with him especially this time. She cannot even think of regretting the marriage they have been forced to.
They started eating when their order arrived. They were both eating beef steaks with steamed marinated cabbage and mashed potato on the side. They were enjoying their evening just talking and occasionally laughing in between their conversation. Everything is perfect. Since the day they have decided to be honest with each other, it feels like a heavy fog has been lifted from their relationship. They have become more than just bed partners or husband and wife, they have been best of friends. For that, Hinata can not ask for more.
It was almost time for them to go. Naruto already paid for their bill. Hinata remained on her seat as she waited for Naruto to finish paying for their meal and she was about to go to him when someone approached their table.
"Hinata," said an overly sweet voice, "my dearest cousin."
Hinata's eyes widened as she felt her blood drained from her face. What is she doing here?
Her cousin bent over and kissed her cheeks. Hinata could only stare, her heart pounding. "I just came by to say hello" smiled by her cousin which made her hair stood up and her body cringe, "and to ask if I could borrow your husband from you, just for a night." She smiled sadly sweetly.
Hinata saw red. Her blood boiled and her heart pounded hard. How dare she!
She tried controlling her beating heart. She saw her husband on her periphery still waiting in the counter. She collected herself and stood up directly facing her dear cousin.
"Shion, its been a while" she kissed her cheek "but I don't understand why you are here on my and my husband's honeymoon."
"You are just so naïve, eh, Hinata? Do you really think that Naruto will love you?" Shion scoffs.
Hinata felt her heart clenched, of course she knows. "I know, but that does not answer my question. What are you doing here, asking time for a married man from his wife, nonetheless? Are you really that desperate to even come here and ruin our honeymoon just to get laid?" Hinata opened her wallet, getting all her cash, "here. You might not have money with you. Just get someone to scratch that itch you are feeling right now." She pushed on her hands, putting all her money, "don't you dare lay a finger on a married man ever again, Shion. You look pathetic."
Shion could only stare at Hinata with her mouth wide open. Hinata satisfied with the look on Shion turned on her heels and was about to go straight to her husband when she bumped on him directly.
"Naruto." Hinata could only stare at his smoldering eyes. Did he heard everything? Is he angry with me?
Hinata saw the confusion passed her husband's eyes. She saw how he swallowed. She saw the regret in his eyes as he finally looked at her.
"Go home Hinata. I need to talk with Shion."
And he left. With her.
Hinata could only stare at their leaving figures. She could only close her eyes as she saw how her cousin's arms wrapped around her husband's waist. That should have been me, but he was never mine.
She had been staring at the door for hours now. Its already four in the morning and he was still not here. Her husband is still in the arms of another girl, and her cousin, nonetheless.
The pain in her chest just keeps on growing every second that she waits for the return of her husband back in her arms. She could not think straight. Her mind is boggled with endless thoughts of rejection and pain. She wanted to cry but it seems that her eyes can't. She could only swallow the pain that is slowly eating her whole.
She was just sitting there. In the darkness. Hearing nothing. Feeling nothing. Thinking nothing. She felt empty and confused and lost.
She saw the orange light passing through their open blinds. Its already morning and he's still with her.
She was about to stand up when she felt her head spin making her wobbled and back on the sofa. I should have slept. This is not good for me.
She calmed herself and tried walking to their room again. She managed to get to bed somehow. But as she lied their, she can only think of how her husband must be pleasuring her cousin. This made her heart clench even more. She cannot even peacefully close her eyes.
More times passed and no Naruto came. She just realized she fell asleep when she opened her eyes and saw that the sun is already high. She looked at the watch and saw that its already two in the afternoon. And still no Naruto.
She managed to get up despite the heaviness of her heart and body. She can feel how her heart is beating so hard that she can even see it through her clothes. She immediately get her medicine and took it.
She was in no mood to go outside and risk her body fainting so she waited. And waited. And waited.
We'll be leaving tomorrow. Hinata mused sadly. She knew that this time would eventually come. The time when he had to choose and he would always choose her without second thoughts.
Its already ten in the evening. She does not want to wallow in self-pity anymore. She should have known. She had always known. It was her own stupidity that led to this. If only she just settled for his company and didn't wished for more, it would not have hurt this much. It was her choice, and this is her punishment. She had been too happy during this vacation that she fooled herself to believe that their relationship could change. But everything is just a means to an end. And this is her ending with him.
She packed all their luggage and prepared herself to go home. She have decided to continue loving him even if it means killing herself. He had been true and honest with her, and this is the least she could return to him.
She fell asleep on their bed, settling the battle inside her whether to accept him still or not. But then she realized, this was their setup. She should not have fell in love. It is her fault. It was her who brought herself to end.
She wanted to continue loving him but then if she keeps on letting him do thia to her, then how can she love him? I should stop doing this to myself. That was her last thought as she closed her eyes.
Morning came. There is still no sign of Naruto in their bedroom. She got up and went straight to the kitchen.
Then she saw him. Her heart leaped.
He looks so dishevelled and forlorn. She stopped her tracks and just stare at him. She felt like crying as her heart clench, but she can't. She needs to be strong for both of them.
"Hey." Hinata started as she walked to their kitchen.
Naruto looked up. Shocked that Hinata even wanted to talk to him after not coming home for two nights. He doesn't know what to feel and what to think. "Hey."
Hinata swallowed as she closed her eyes. She doesn't know if she can really go back to what they were supposed to be after everything that happened. Maybe going back to zero is the best thing to do right now. Going back to being casual sex partners.
"I will be having breakfast, would you like some?" Hinata offered. "we have cereals, or would you like some rice? We have eggs and ham." She continued, not really caring that Naruto approached her. She felt rather than see his presence in her back.
Hinata heard Naruto sigh that it madebher heart reavh out for him. But she needs to keep her stance. "Are you just going to pretend that we were okay after I did not came home for the last two nights?" Hinata can hear the desperation. She can feel the pleas from his unspoken words.
She breath in deep first before facing him, "Naruto, its okay. I am okay. You are okay. So why are we even discussing this?" she turned around again, not trusting herself to keep her tears at bay. She just busied herself getting eggs form the ridge. "isn't this what you want? We have already talked about this, thousand times before. So what is your problem? We both know that this is just an arranged marriage. We have even agreed that we are free to date and sleep around, as long as we keep its secret. What you do with your life is your choice, and I don't want to get in the way of that. So please, also leave me be."
"what are you saying?" she felt his voice cracked. The confusion on his voice was apparent. "I thought you love me. So why are you doing this to me?"
Hinata sighed. She wanted to cry, and hug him. She rally want to but she can't for the fear that her reslove would all crumble down on her feet. "I do. I love you." And that's it. She never bothered explaining, because even she doesn't know what to say to him.
Naruto was about to open his mouth again to clear the confusion, but he was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.
Naruto could only look at the back of his wife before answering the front door.
Hinata heard him walk away. That was the only time she let the tears flood her cheeks. I don't think I can do this. All the pentup emotions just came rushing from her heart to her eyes. This is too much for her. She placed her hand to her heart trying to silence her sobs. As she felt Naruto approaching, she swiftly wiped her tears away and continued cooking.
"It was the bellboy, asking if when should we need the service van to the airport." Naruto explained.
"I have already packed everything last night. I will just finish cooking. You can prepare yourself then we can go. I have already took a shower last night, I am ready to go as is." Hinata said, still not looking at him. She finished preparing his food and then she left the area to get her luggage.
The trip to the airport and back home was filled with silence. There were no longer conversations and jokes hanging around them. There is only heaviness and pain hovering above them. No more touching. No more looks. No more leaning. No more kissing. No more hugging. No more smiling. No more nothings. It was just him and her sitting there like they are stranger to each other.
They arrived at Konoha after eight hours of flight. Kushina and Hanabi was waiting for them at the airport. Both were excited to see the newlyweds.
It was Naruto who noticed them first. He suddenly grabbed her hands which made Hinata stop on her tracks. This is their first physical contact after almost three days. She felt like crying again but she maintained her composure. "what is it?"
She doesn't want to sound so cold with him but she felt tired with everything that happened from the past few days. She still hadn't sleep a proper one since that night they met Shion. She cannot control herself anymore.
Naruto seeing this side of her for the first time could only look at her. He felt afraid. Afraid to what, he doesn't really know. Maybe it's the thought that he might lose her anytime. He had never felt this afraid before and he felt uncomfortable with this alien feeling.
Naruto withdraw his hands and told her to briefly look at the direction of his mother and sister-in-law.
Hinata realized what he was saying and nodded her head. She linked her hands with him and smiled fondly at him.
"I'm sorry. I just need some space right now. But don't worry. I won't drag them with our problem." And as if to prove her point she kissed his whisker marks.
This made Naruto confused. Why is she doing this? He felt short of breath, constricted like someone's gripping his heart with how Hinata is acting with him.
They finally reached Kushina and Hanabi who were giddily asking them questions of all sorts.
"so how was the place, sis? Is it pretty? Do you have pictures?"
"should I start expecting for a grandchild?"
This both made Naruto and Hinata stopped their tracks. But for a very different reason altogether.
Naruto felt an overwhelming feeling of bewilderment. He never considered the idea of having a child with Hinata. It had always been with Shion. He briefly looked at her wife. He saw how fear crossed her eyes. Doesn't she want to have a child? With me?
Hinata, on the other hand, felt an overwhelming feeling of fear and grief. She had always wanted to conceive and have a child with him but she knows that someday she will not be around to rear their child. How she wanted to love their child unconditionally, but she is well aware of that it will just be another wish upon a star.
"what is that look on your faces?" Hanabi teased.
"I'm just kidding. You don't have to act like you are being tortured." Kushina laughed. "We can wait. After all you are still in college."
They started walking to the parking lot. "so do you want to go straight home or would you like to visit us first?" Kushina continued.
"Home?" Hinata asked. She can't remember anything that she and Naruto have their own home.
Kushina briefly looked at Naruto before focusing back on Hinata, "Naruto, didn't you tell your wife that we bought you a house?" she scolded lightly.
Hinata frowned. What? Why didn't he told me that? Is he really planning on hiding this from me? Does she want him and Shion to occupy that house? She felt betrayed. There really is no hope for us. What happened between us at Whirlpool were all lies, dream that is meant to be woken from.
She saw how Naruto scratched his nape, nervous. "I totally forgot to tell her." He laughed awkwardly. I am so dead. "I'm so sorry Hime." He said facing her. Asking forgiveness more than what he had said now. He wanted to say sorry for everything, but he knows that she was hurt and he deserved to suffer from her coldness.
Hinata only stared blankly at him. Trying to hide the pain, anger, and remorse at her husband. She had to remind herself that she already decided to go back from zero. She no longer has the right to feel all those emotions. "we will just go home mom. I want to rest. I will just visit you soon."
There was an awkward atmosphere between them. The drive home was filled with silence. There were no words spoken between them. Only Kushina and Hanabi tried to openly converse. Hinata could only nod and briefly respond if she is asked.
They stopped in front of a two-level glass house in the middle of a clearing of a forest.
Hinata was in awe. She cannot believe how beautiful the house is. It is so spacious and wide. Just looking at the house, she felt freedom. How ironic. This is how she had always envisioned her dream house. She felt like crying. She wasn't aware that Naruto actually cared about it. But then again she remembered Shion. Maybe we are really the same in taste.
They both stepped out of the car and went inside the house. It looks nothing like their mansion but she felt at home. They have no neighbors, or anyone with them at home.
Naruto felt at awe when he saw how Hinata was affected by the house. It was him who asked his parents to buy and renovate this house when he decided to marry Hinata. It took time and money but now that he can see how much Hinata loves it, he felt like everything is worth it. He remembered how his wife loved open spaces so much, how she hoped that she could live in a glass house. He just really want to make her happy in the best possible way he can, because this is only how much he can offer.
"Do you like it?" Kushina asked excitedly.
"it is so wide, sis. There are four bedrooms, a master's bedroom, a bar, entertainment room, and of course a library!" Hanabi specified. As she speaks of the places, she points in their direction.
"Naruto always wanted to have a big family, that's why we have put a lot of rooms here." Kushina laughs then stopped when she realized that she said something awkward, "of course Hinata, you can talk about it yourself. For the mean time, we will occupy the other rooms, right Hana-chan?"
Hanabi nodded rather swiftly, as if saving Kushina from embarrassment. "I think aunt Kushina, we should get going. We should let them tour their own home."
They all bid goodbye and the two women left the couple to awkwardly explore their home.
"Do you want anything to eat, Naruto?" Hinata asked later on. She went directly to the kitchen, loving the equipment around. She also appreciated the fact that the fridge is already stored with grocery.
Naruto already noticed it. But now that they are alone, it dawns on him that Hinata already stoped calling him Naruto-kun. He never realized how much he loved to be called like that by her.
I am losing her.
They both ate in silence. Naruto already brought their luggage in the master's bedroom as she prepare their dinner. As they finish eating, Naruto volunteered to wash the dishes, in which Hinata just simply nodded to.
The whole house was so silent. The eerie silence makes Naruto cringe. He was just not so used to this much silence. He knows that Hinata can just be silent, but it had never felt this way before. This silence is too painful even for him.
After washing the dishes, he went straight to their bedroom. As he entered, he found no Hinata. He figured that she might just be in the shower, but minutes passed, and no Hinata appeared.
He went to check the shower and saw that it was empty.
He panicked. She told me she would never leave me. He felt tears sting his eyes as he checked the rooms one-by-one. He was already losing hope when he reached the last room when he saw her drying her hair in front of the vanity.
He felt his world stopped. Hinata, noticing his presence stopped what she was doing and faced him. "I forgot to tell you that I won't stay on the same room." She said casually not really looking at him.
Naruto swiftly moved inside the room and hugged her from behind. Hinata felt his shoulders racking, and in a pained sobbed he said, "don't you ever do that to me again. I thought you left me."
Hinata wanted to cry with him but she will not. She sat there, unmoving. She just let him cry his heart out, saying not to leave him, over and over again.
When he calmed down, she faced him, and touch his cheeks. "Go to sleep. You're just tired." And she started walking to bed. She just stared at him.
His shoulders down. His head low. Her heart breaks for him, but she will just break her heart more if she allows him to penetrate her emotions again.
He went out feeling confused and down. He looked back at his wife only to see that she already lied down to bed facing away from him.
He went to bed never really feeling the need to sleep. He missed the warmth Hinata could only offer. It is not just her physical heat but her care and love for him that he misses. He just lied there not realizing that morning already came.
He went straight to the kitchen when he was done with his morning routines. It was already 10 in the morning and it was very unlikely for Hinata not to still be up this time.
He went to her bedroom and almost panicked when he found that it was empty. The bed was still undone, but he was glad to see that her luggage still lies around there. He saw the door of the bathroom open so he immediately went there.
He was glad to saw her there. Although he was shocked with the way she looked. Her hair was disheveled, her eyes dark, her mouth hanging open, but what shocked him more was when she looked at him with that tearful eyes saying, "I am pregnant."
I hope the chapter was fine for you! I'll try to update soon. :) I haven't check and proofread this, so sorry.