Janet stood with Leah in the middle of what looked like a cliff side meadow. An admiring look spread across Janet's face as she let the beauty sink in.
"Wow" Janet whispered as if afraid to disturb the peaceful silence of the natural beauty surrounding them.
"It gets better" Leah whispered as well and gestured towards the edge of the cliff side.
As they neared the side Janet became worried her mate would fall over the edge. It probably wasn't a possibility considering her wolf genes but the worry was there. After putting that thought aside she looked towards what Leah was pointing out and her unneeded breath left her lungs.
The view of the ocean that laid before her was spectacular. Water of untainted blue stretched out as far as the eye could see with only one small island in the center of the tiny bay. Greenery that covered the rocky surfaces of the bay walls began to be covered as the sun started to sink into the ocean. Sunrays danced over the surface of the water in a mystical and enchanting performance that captured the senses.
"It's beautiful." Janet said as her hand fluttered to her chest as if her heart could start beating at any moment.
"Yeah…I found this place when I was about thirteen." Leah said as they both looked out over the ocean colored by the setting sun. It was years ago that she had stumbled upon this place and she had fallen in love with it. At first it had been a place for peace and sometimes adventure but now it was a place where she grieved and raved in anger. Maybe now it would be a different place altogether with Janet in it.
They stayed watching the waters until the sun was swallowed completely and the world was left with only the moon as a light source.
"I have to be honest with you, Janet." Leah began as she turned away from the view and faced Janet fully.
"I think that's best for the both of us." Janet agreed while smiling encouragingly to Leah.
"As redundant as it sounds, I don't know how to feel about what has happened between us. I always thought I would have control over my life and yet these last couple of months have taken all control from me." Leah explained herself as best she could and started running her hands through her hair.
"That's understandable Leah" Janet took a step forward as she spoke but Leah shot a hand up and took a step back.
"Please let me finish. I can't think when I'm near you and right now I need to think or I won't be able to get everything out." Leah protested and started to pace the length of the meadow while trying to put in order her scattered thoughts.
"Come Leah, let's talk" Janet suggested and sat in the middle of the meadow, after watching her mate pace. With a sign that was a mix of relief and exhaustion, Leah sat in front of Janet.
"I don't want to hurt you. But I can't just jump into this at the same time because that's not who I am…and yet my instincts are going crazy. My wolf says one thing and my brain says something else. It's pretty much driving me insane and I don't know what to do or how to handle all of this." Leah let out in a whoosh of what felt like one breath then let her head fall back as she rested her wait on her hands in a reclined positon.
"What does your heart tell you?" Janet asked after a small pause and leaned her elbows on her knees.
"Huh?" Leah lifted her head and looked directly into the honey eyes of her imprint.
"What does your heart tell you? You already said you know what your wolf and brain are telling you but what about your heart?" Janet asked and watched as Leah mulled and analyzed her feelings for what seemed like the first time.
"I…I don't know if I'm ready to find out. What if it's not me feeling that and it's just my wolf influencing me? I want what we have to be real not something dictated by hormones and a supernatural bond. I don't know who you are and you don't know who I am. We don't know who we were or what we have been through. How can we claim to be anything if we don't have more than a hollow bond made of the supernatural?" Leah asked Janet and leaned forward to take Janet's hands into hers. It surprised her a little to see how small and frail they looked in comparison to hers.
"Will you give us a try?" Janet's question was whispered but seemed to Leah as if it was shouted. Her insides coiled and roiled as her emotions wared with each other but she didn't want to rush with such an important question. The wolf demanded that Leah claim her mate and surrender herself to her but her mind held on tight to her pride and demand for control. But Janet had asked what her heart told her and maybe that was a safer ground than trying to decide which of her two halves she listens to.
In her heart of hearts she knew the answer but it was an answer that would change her life forever. But isn't this what she had wanted all this time? Hadn't she wanted to imprint to finally be happy and get on with her life without Sam hanging over her head like a guillotine?
Would her life change so much? Was happiness really meant to be so hard? Leah sighed and hung her head as she made her decision. She took both of Janet's hands and brought them to her lips to place a gentle kiss on the back of her cool hands.
"Yes, yes I will. But please be patient with me because I'm not perfect and I will stumble through this. Let's just take this one step at a time and figure it out as we go along." Leah finally answered as she looked into Janet's eyes that seemed to sparkle with the light of the moon. A smile lit up her face that caused Leah's heart to skip a beat her whole body to fill with such warmth and happiness. Suddenly, a tune came to Leah's mind and she had an urge that caused a smile to spread across her lips.
Leah stood and pulled Janet with her causing for a confused look to come onto Janet's face. She slid an arm around Janet's waist and her other hand took Janet's as she pulled Janet into a slow turn. The night was fully upon them and the stars had filled the sky along with the moon shinning it's full light on the meadow. As the two women turned and twirled to the musical sounds of the forest night life and the roar of the ocean near them, it seemed they forgot about anything and everything.
Fireflies began to fill the meadow causing both girls to look around in wonder as they kept dancing. Janet let out a laugh as Leah spun her away from her and back again. Leah decided to throw caution to the wind in that moment as she watched Janet smile and laugh because of her. How could this feeling be anything but a blessing? Nothing in this world could ever have felt more right in that moment then having Janet in her arms.
The night went on with only the slight acknowledgement of Leah's worry in their minds. Janet laughed and watched as Leah took off her jacket and tossing it on top of her already discarded shoes and socks.
"Sorry but with the wolf gene comes the increase in temperature so I'm always hot." Leah explained as she sat back down next to Janet.
"You got that right" Janet flirted as she had been doing all night and caused Leah to throw her head back and laugh. It was the greatest sound Janet had ever heard and it filled her to the brim with happiness.
"You know what I meant" Leah ran a hand through her hair as she shot a flirty smile in Janet's direction.
They fell into comfortable silence for a couple of minutes which surprised Leah greatly. She had thought that with Janet's personality she would want to always fill the silence with noise but Janet enjoyed silence just as much as she did. But at the same time Sam's words came to mind about how imprints will be and do whatever their wolf needs from them. Was Janet being so quiet and understanding because that is who she is or is she like this because of the imprint? If Leah thought about it, she didn't know half as much as she had been hoping to find out tonight.
"Where were you born?" Leah asked suddenly breaking the silence and finally deciding to ask some questions.
"In Texas but I don't remember the exact town. I also remember my exact birthday but it was sometime in winter I think." Janet answered without looking Leah's way. This was the part of the night she had been dreading. Her history wasn't as pleasant as that of the Cullen's and she had done things that would give even vampires nightmares. Would her mate shun and hate her for what she had done in the past? Was Leah's prejudice towards vampires going to win over the bond that they now shared?
"Do you remember your family?" Leah asked and tried to stay away from the big questions for now. What would she do when she had to ask the serious questions? How would she react? Nothing was ever set in stone and no one knew how they would react to a situation until they were placed into that situation.
"I don't actually. I was about ten when my father found me alone and half-starved in an old outhouse. He told me it looked like I had been through something pretty bad but he has never told me what exactly. Says it's not something I need to know since that's not me anymore. He is just trying to protect me like always." Janet said with a smile lighting up her face when she talked about her father. Leah cringed at the thought of her imprint half-starved and probably dying.
It surprised Leah to know end to such love and happiness radiate from Janet at the mere thought of her father. There wasn't much known about the Major but the wolf instincts of the pack always told them that he was the most dangerous. Could such a dangerous, cold being really bring such happiness to another?
"Is that why your power is to shift into a child?" Leah asked and leaned closer to Janet when she sensed things were going to get deep soon.
"I don't know why my power happen to be that actually. We think it's because I have always had the heart and innocence of a child. When my father found me, he says I was ready to die and expecting it actually. Then he came to me and when I laid eyes on him, I thought he was an angel sent to finally save me. He said the love and trust I was feeling towards him was so powerful he was physically struck and shocked. 'The eyes of the purest dove looked at me that night and stole my unbeating heart from me.'" Janet laughed as she repeats what her father always says when recounting the story of their first meeting.
A small smile pulls at the edges of Leah's lips as she compares Jasper's words to the words her own father once said about the first time he laid eyes on her. Could all fathers' love be the same no matter the species? What would her father think of all that was going on right now?
"What happened after that?" Leah asked softly so as not to ruin Janet's happy reminiscing.
"He took me to a small ranch house that he had and fed me and brought me back to perfect health. When I was well enough to do anything and everything he bought me everything and anything I wanted. I was allowed to go out into the small town during the day but at night I had to be inside and wait for him to come home. He would come and take me out for walks around the ranch and teach me things, like dancing. Oh, he bought me a horse!" Janet said in excitement and joy as she remembered those first years.
"A horse?" Leah prompted as she noticed Janet begin to get lost in thought
"Oh, yeah and I learned to ride her. Her name was Thunder," Janet laughed as she remembered, "Papa thought it was a foolish name to give a mare that it was for stallions but I loved it and so that's how I got a mare named Thunder." Janet sighed and remembered that horse with an ache in her dead heart.
"For years we lived like that and I was happy, we both were. Of course, not everything was perfect. Sometimes, Papa wouldn't come home for days and I would worry he had forgotten about me or had decided he didn't want me anymore. But as soon as he got home he would lavish me with affection and attention. Well he did after he learned how to show affection," Janet turned to look at Leah and begging with her eyes for understanding, "You have to understand Leah, things were different in that era and especially with what my father was being manipulated into doing. He was a stone-cold killer, a monster without morals and he was trying to take care of a child. It wasn't easy for him to show me that he loved me but he tried his best and that is more than I can ever thank him for." Janet explained as tears that would never fall filled her eyes. Leah felt her heart break in two at the look on Janet's face, so she took Janet's hand into her own and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"I understand Janet, it's okay" Leah said as she came to the conclusion that Janet wanted her father to be accepted by her. Her father had been an important part of her life and she knew that Jasper was just as important to Janet.
"I really have given him more trouble than I had a right to you know. And yet he despite that he still loves me," Janet said it as if it was a mystery, "When I was fifteen I disobeyed and fought with him for the first time." Janet began but had to swallow the lump in her throat brought on by the emotions the memory brought with it.
"Hey, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Leah said as she wrapped an arm around Janet's shoulders.
"No, it's okay, I want to." Janet said as she cuddled close to Leah and laid her head in the crook of Leah's neck.
"Okay but you can stop at any time." Leah conceded but she knew she would stop her if it got to be too much for her. She would not put Janet through anything that she didn't need to put through.
"When I was fifteen I was walking around town in the new dress Papa had bought me. I liked people to see me in my new dresses during the day since at night they weren't as pretty. There was a new man in town that I didn't know and he stopped me on my way home one day. He showered me with compliment and cute love declarations. At the time, no man but my father had ever spoken love words to me. It felt good to be seen as a blossoming woman instead of a child for the first time. But more than anything I wanted to find love."
"Maybe I was blinded by my emotions or whatever but I let him talk to me and escort me home. No one had ever gotten past the gate to the ranch house as it was one of my father's rules. To top it all off I had returned home later than he would have approved of. The man asked to see me again and I agreed. For about a week he wooed me and courted me and I fell hook line and sinker. One day he asked to see me at night and I happily agreed but I was not thinking about my father. I figured I could explain the situation to him and he would surely let me go. I was a spoiled little brat I confess."
Leah chuckled and received a gentle elbow nudge to the stomach as punishment.
"Father said no of course and forbid me from seeing the man again. Said I was not in love and that I still didn't know what love truly was. To say I was upset would be putting it lightly. But I was determined to see him again so I did the only thing a foolish girl who thinks she is in love would do, I snuck out. I knew my father would leave for a couple of hours to do whatever he does and that's when I left. It was a beautiful night even with the fear of what my father would do when he found out I was gone. We walked around and talked but took no notice of our surroundings until we were in a secluded part of town. Things felt different as we stopped after hearing what sounded like a growling animal. Then he appeared, a monster with red eyes like my father's but with more evil in them. It was too fast for me to understand what was happening but the next thing I knew the man was dead and the monster was advancing towards me. I was terrified for my life and wanted nothing but for my father to save me. So, I did the only thing a scared girl would do, I cried out for my Papa…" Janet paused and swallowed thickly and clung to Leah.
"He came then. It was all so fast and I was too scared to pay much attention but before I could really comprehend what was going on, the monster was dead in flames and I was in my father's arms. We flew then to the ranch and I was suddenly dropped onto the sofa and my father paced furiously while vicious growls filled the whole house. I had never been afraid of my father before that moment. But in that moment, I saw my father for the monster he was and yet I still loved and trusted my father. 'Papa?' I dared to ask him and he whirled on me and I screamed for the first time truly afraid of the man I loved as a father."
"I don't know if it was my scream of the fear I felt but my father flinched back as if I had struck and then disappeared. I was alone in the house for a day and during that day I contemplated running away but then my heart ached from the mere thought of leaving my father. I both anticipated and dreaded the coming night. As night fell I sat on my bed and began to count the stars. I felt his presence before I heard him which was weird. 'My little dove?' I had never before heard him use that voice with me so it shocked me. I turned and watched he slowly approached my bed as if afraid I would run."
"As soon as he sat down, I just threw myself into his arms and sobbed. I didn't know how much I loved until the prospect of us losing each other was processed in my mind. He just sighed in relief and held me. That night he told me the truth of what he was and what he did. Then he gave me a gift he had been planning to give me in a special way that day. I had forgotten my birthday but Papa had not and surprised me with the bronze statue."
Janet went quiet after that and felt drained even though vampires can not feel exhaustion, she felt emotionally drained after the retelling of this part of her life.
"Looks like we'll have lots more to talk about next time" Leah said as she decided to let Janet stop there for the night and gave herself time to process everything she had just learned.
"There'll be a next time?" Janet asked hopefully and looked up at Leah.
"Of course" Leah confirmed and touched her nose to Janet's causing her to smile and close her eyes to savor the moment.
Dawn was only about an hour away and yet Janet had not gotten back to the Cullen home. Though he knew she didn't sleep, it bothered Jasper to no end that she was out so late. The only southern man in him showed when he started to pace the living room and complain internally about this generation. 'Did no one have respect or principles anymore?' That particular thought caused Edward to snort out a laugh from his seat at the piano.
"Calm down son, I'm sure she is on her way" Carlisle tried to sooth his anxious son the best he could.
"What's the big deal man? Not like she is gonna get knocked up or nothing" Emmet put in his two cents distractedly from his seat on the floor in front of the T.V.
Jasper growled furiously causing everyone to tense and Emmet to look back at his brother in confusion.
"What'd I say?" Emmet asked as he paused the game he was playing and joined Rose on the sofa. The family resumed watching Jasper pace and worry about Janet.
"It's not something that can be explained Emmet. When you have a child, whether you share blood or not, you worry constantly about them. The very air can cause them harm in your parental heart." Carlisle tried to explain to his children as he looked at every one of them and said through his eyes that that is how he felt for each and every one of them.
"She is fine, she is with her mate and Leah wouldn't let anything happen to her imprint." Alice whispered to Jasper but kept her distance because she knew how much he lost his composure when Janet was involved. She knew how Janet thought he father put her in second place but he loved her just as much as always if not more.
"That doesn't mean accidents don't happen Alice…" Edward began to remind of what happened to Sam's imprint but was interrupted by the sound of Leah's truck. Janet's laughter followed as the truck came to a stop outside the house.
Jasper would have sagged in relief at the sound of his little girl if he had not been such a hard-military man. His dead heart filled with love at the sound of pure joy coming from Janet.
"See? I told she was fine. You all worry too much" Alice said and skipped from the room and signaled for everyone to follow suit. She had seen that Jasper needed some time with Janet to settle his haywire nerves. They would all talk to Janet at a later time but for now there was some serious father daughter time needed.
"I had a great time" Janet said in a timid voice that made Jasper's eyebrows practically hit his hair line. Janet was many things but timid was not one of them, not since she had woken to this life that is.
A memory of Janet as a small scared and timid ten year old came to Jasper's mind.
'C…Can I call you Papa?' Janet asked in a tiny voice that would have not have been heard had he not been a vampire. Her gaze was fixed on the floor and her whole body trembled as waves of fear fell from her body.
'Only if I can call you my daughter' Jasper answered and watched as a shocked and elated face looked up at him. Janet nodded enthusiastically and tears began to cascade down her face as love and relief filled her body. She threw herself into the arms of her father and basked in the feel of his arms around her as he returned the embrace.
'I love you Papa'
'I love you too my little dove'
"I'll see you tomorrow at training, I guess." Leah said turned to leave before stopping and quickly kissing Janet on the cheek. She practically ran to her truck in an effort to hide her rising blush.
Janet stood there on the porch of the house with her hand on her cheek and watching as Leah drove away. Shock only lasted a second before complete elation and bubbling happiness shot through her. She squealed and did a little shimmy like a school girl after her first kiss which if she thought about it, she was in some way. When she stepped into the house, she came face to face with her father standing in the foyer with his arms crossed.
He had seen the whole thing and would have been enraged but after seeing and feeling the love and pure happiness from his daughter, Jasper could only be resigned. His little dove was finally flying and he was pretty sure that soon he would have to let her go.
"Papa…" Janet didn't know what to say since she was sure her father had seen all of that and she was just now noticing the hour.
"Just answer me this…does she respect you?" Jasper asked since that was one of the fears that would always haunt him. Though he knew his girl was smart and strong, he also knew that love could make many stupid and weak.
"She does," Janet answered and allowed her smile to bloom fully and launched herself at her dad, "Oh Papa, I'm in love. Truly, madly, deeply in love" Janet gushed and buried her head into her father's shoulder.
"Let us go out for a hunt my little one. I have to talk to you" Jasper said and guided Janet towards the back doors. It would seem his time to talk to his daughter about life was finally upon him.