Author's Note: The line from Song of the Dark Crystal that, in short, inspired this nonsensical little crossover fic: "This is not nice—not fair!"

Sarah had seen her share of peculiar characters, but none of those compared to the sight of a vulture in extravagant clothes drifting around by the ticket stand. She did a spit-take.

"Ahh!"

This drew the dark-haired woman's attention back to Helen, who was currently twisting out water from her skirt. "Like, geez, Sarah, I know you're anxious, but you don't have to…what are you doing?"

Ignoring her friend's question, Sarah looked back at the ticket stand.

There was nothing there now. No vulture.

"What are you looking at?" Briana's voice pulled her out of it, all three of Sarah's college friends frowning at her in concern. "Are you expecting someone?"

"Bet she invited Kyle," Rachel said, grinning into her water bottle. "About time."

A blush blossomed in Sarah's cheeks. "No, it's not that. I just…I thought I saw something."

"Like what?"

Here, the dark-haired woman started to feel embarrassed for a different reason, despite the lack of judgment in her friends' faces. She didn't know what she saw, and the more she thought about it, the more convinced she was that she imagined it. A leftover figment from her childhood imagination, no doubt.

"It's nothing. I think…my nerves are just starting to get to me, that's all."

"We noticed," Helen said, still drying herself off.

"Miss Williams?"

The casting director was up on stage, tapping his clipboard.

"Well? We don't have all day."

Rachel nudged Sarah. "Go break a leg."

Taking a breath, the dark-haired woman headed for the stage. During the audition, she found her gaze wandering more than often to the back of the theater, expecting to find that same vulture lurking there.

The casting director was fairly impressed by Sarah's performance, but told her not to get her hopes up about landing the part. That was fine by her. She'd be disappointed if she didn't get it, but there was always next time. As the theater closed up for the day, a tired Sarah followed her friends towards the doors.

"You saw that one freshman kid?" Helen said. "I swear, it looked like he was going to faint right on stage."

"I like to see you try auditioning," Sarah said. "It's not as easy as it looks."

"You make it look easy."

"That's why it's called acting," Briana giggled.

The conversation continued while Sarah rummaged her pockets for her car keys. She stopped.

"Hang on," she said. "I think I dropped something back there."

"You want us to wait up?" Rachel said.

"It's fine. I'll meet up with you at the dorms later."

"All right, see you then."

While her friends moved their conversation outside, she jogged back down to the front row. She checked through the cushions and underneath the chairs, but to her frustration, found nothing but dried up bubblegum and old candy wrappers.

She ran her hand through her hair. She needed to invest in better pockets the next time she went shopping for clothes.

"Hardly convincing."

Sarah involuntarily tensed up, turning in the direction of the voice.

Further up the aisle, seated in a chair that had most definitely not been occupied when she walked past the first time around, was that vulture. They were no taller than her whilst sitting down, a sharply pointed beak jutting from their scaly face.

"Your performance on stage?" Their masculine voice sounded like a bunch of bells rattling against rusted metal. "Quite mesmerizing. But this? The frustration is just not coming across as well as you'd think. Dare I say, it's subpar!"

Sarah didn't say a word, her brain torn on the matter of what she was looking at.

The corners of the vulture's beak quirked upward.

"Struck speechless, are you? Ha! As are all who come face-to-face with skekLi the Satirist!" He spread his arms, his sleeves decorated in green and gold. "Not many are given this honor. This is your lucky day!"

Confusion beginning to edge in with her unease, Sarah looked around the theater, and then back at the vulture.

"Are you a performer here?"

"Interesting question. One that requires an epic all on its own!" The vulture, skekLi, leaned back in his chair, gangly fingers folded together, the chained rings upon them glimmering under the auditorium's lights. "In short, yes, I am…just not one who frequents this establishment. A traveling performer, eh?"

"And…you often keep your costume on after the theater has closed?"

"Costume?" Momentary confusion crossed the vulture's face before he abruptly broke out into laughter. "Yes, of course, my costume! Very fine work, wouldn't you say? Designed it all myself, no input required."

It certainly was impressive craftsmanship, she would give him that, but…

"Do you need something?" she said.

"Nothing in particular. Just thought I would strike up a conversation."

"Sorry, but I have go meet up with my friends." Sarah resumed her search.

"Keys are such a pain to lose, aren't they?"

That caused her to look back up.

"You saw them?"

"No. Just overheard you talk about them back there."

Sarah glared at him. "It's rude to listen in on other people's conversations."

"Also rude to ignore whomever is talking to you."

"Also rude to bother someone while they're clearly busy."

skekLi doubled over laughing. "So feisty! Such a shame you have that flat face…makes the overall appeal fall flat in the end. Ha!"

He laughed some more, wriggling his legs and slapping his knees. Sarah was red in the face from the joke being made at her expense.

"No need to be so upset. I jest!" His laughter had subsided, but he still wore that annoying grin. "You certainly do intrigue me. Yes, you do. Know how often is it that I come across someone to talk to?"

"Uhh—"

"All the time! But it's always sooo one-sided." He gave an overly weary groan. "Gets boring after a while when you don't have an audience to engage with. Takes away the fun. Giving it your all and having it thrown back at you with indifference! Really sticks you in the gizzard, sometimes!"

"I'm sorry," Sarah said, trying to sound supportive. "That does sound bad."

"No, it's an injustice! An atrocity! A performer like myself, condemned to such a fate? It's unfair! Just so unfair!"

The shrillness of skekLi's voice during the last part of the rant seemed almost reminiscent of a child throwing a tantrum…or, specifically to her ears, a teenage girl screaming at her father and stepmother. She sighed, acknowledging to herself that she was now feeling genuine sympathy for him. She headed over to his row and sat down a couple of seats down from him.

"Life isn't fair," she said. "But, sometimes, that's just the way things are. We just have to learn to live with it."

"Yeesh, what lousy advice. Got that from a soothsayer?"

"No." Sarah couldn't remember where she heard it…but it sounded right to her. "But I thought it might help."

He showed more of his teeth through his widening scowl.

"Would have asked for it if I wanted it!" he snapped. "I don't need your charity!"

"Then why bother talking to me? You can tell me to leave at any time."

skekLi glared at her, but she just stared calmly back, refusing to give him any power over her.

"Very brave," he said eventually. "Too brave, even. If I wasn't stuck like this…things could have ended very differently for you."

His voice sounded even-tempered enough…but his eyes told an entirely different story. They were cold and dark, like the deepest, murkiest pit in a cave. With a shudder, Sarah found herself seriously questioning if she was looking at a costume…or something else entirely.

Then, he grinned again, back to his seemingly amicable self.

"I've enjoyed our little talk," he said. "Truly, I did! May decide to stick around a while longer…if you're not a stick in the mud about it, that is. Ha!"

Sarah intended to voice her displeasure with that, but a sharp whistle cut her off. She turned her head towards the stage.

"Ma'am?" A janitor was standing there, jangling a pair of keys at her. "Do these belong to you?"

"Oh! Oh, yes! Thank you!" Sarah started to get up, but stopped short when she remembered skekLi. "Are you—"

She hesitated. He was gone again.

How did he- The dark-haired woman scanned the whole auditorium, but found no sign of him. It was like he had completely vanished.

You're imagining things again, Sarah. She pursed her lips as an old, vivid dream about goblins and headless bird monsters came to mind. She decided to walk away before anything else weird happened, having enough for one afternoon.

Unbeknownst to the dark-haired woman, skekLi was still in the auditorium. He was hovering overhead, beyond her line-of-sight.

"Death is awfully inconvenient. But what can I say?" He snickered. "It has its perks."