Author note: This is not the Bataa chapter it was intended to be. I mean, I had a complete 3275-word chapter all ready to go, and then an inspiring question asked by a reader started ticking over in my head and forming itself into something tangible until I had no choice but to follow that plot bunny down the rabbit hole and write it out. So, thank you so much to UncagedAgent from Ao3 for wondering if Kylo gets tips from Rey on a sand planet in a future update and compelling the 1661 words that spilt from my brain because of it! Thank you also to those who have left encouragement via comments and kudos, it truly helps to keep me motivated! I'm just sorry if this is a bit rushed and sucky - it's been a crap week and *insert loads of real life excuses here*.
Conversations
- Part IV -
"I hate sand."
Rey blinks, surprised at the instant complaint that greets her the moment the now-familiar distortion of sound heralds the opening of the Force bond. She scrubs a hand to the back of her neck, massaging away the strange electrifying skin-crawl she's also become grudgingly accustomed to. "Well, hello to you too."
Dragging irritably at the collar of his tunic, Kylo turns to face her. "It's coarse and irritating…"
It's as if he's been waiting for someone to grumble to, she thinks dryly, before a pang of empathy worms its way in as she recalls the feeling of rough sand trapped between skin and cloth and crevice.
"Yes," she agrees finally, "and it gets everywhere."
The sand becomes a visible thing as it sweeps against his legs and buffers his face. It's strange, she thinks with the quirk of a smile, watching someone react to their surroundings whilst seemingly standing in the midst of your own. She wonders what the mighty Kylo Ren would say if she told him he was currently fending off the elements in the middle of the crew's quarters of the Millenium Falcon.
"Did you not think to at least bring a dust mask and protective eyewear to a sand planet?" She asks conversationally as he throws an arm in the air to fend off a sudden gust of wind.
"It wasn't my intention to - urgh!"
She winces in sympathy, remembering the strike of desert grit against exposed skin; the feeling of being flayed to the bone if it barrages against you long enough. The way it cloys in your nostrils and encrusts your eyelashes until you think you're going to go mad. Or choke. Or both.
"Tear off a strip of fabric and wrap it around your face," she instructs, watching the way his cloak billows fiercely around him as if fighting to tear free and find its own shelter. "If you're on the outskirts of a dust storm, you need to find shelter. What planet are you on?"
"I'm not ripping up my cloak," he answers stubbornly, ignoring her last question, "I just need to find my way back to my ship..."
"You're... lost?" The stab of concern that twists her gut is unexpected. She grits her teeth against it. "Look, if you give me your coordinates I can bring up your location and guide you -"
"I'm not disclosing my location."
Groaning in frustration, Rey strides across the room and stops herself short of shaking him by his big stupid shoulders. "So you'd rather die in a sandstorm than risk confiding in me?"
"Die?" Kylo croaks, blinking at her through sand-dusted lashes, "that's a little melodramatic."
Another gust slams into him, pushing him a step backwards with renewed ferocity. Sand whirls with fresh gusto, banking against his legs before catching the wind and blinking out of sight. Fascinated, Rey wonders if she can reach out and catch some, then half-steps forward to try.
"Damnit!" Spinning so that his back is to the gale, Kylo clamps a hand to his eye.
"Don't rub," she chastises, "you'll only make it worse."
Oblivious to her advice, he grinds a finger against his eyelid while muttering unintelligible grunts of rage at the audacity of the elements.
"Stop!" Unable to put up with it any longer, Rey closes the space between them and encloses her hands around Kylo's own, stilling him to stunned silence. "Do you want to scratch your eyeball?"
Her words are soft and light as she touches a hand to his cheek and turns his face towards her. At this distance, she can feel an echo of the wind that assaults him. At this distance, she can see every minute fleck of ochre in his wide-blown startled eyes.
"Must be some storm, huh?" She murmurs, using an edge of her sleeve to brush away sand as she patently ignores the way her heartbeat has leapt into a careening gallop. It's almost unbearable to hold his steady gaze. To see the heat and hunger that burns so readily within it.
Wordlessly Kylo opens his mouth and closes it again. The wind whips his hair into a maelstrom of ebony locks. He clears his throat and tries again, "Rey, what are you…"
He's trembling beneath her touch, Rey marvels, dropping her eyes to trace the path her thumb now travels along his cheek; taking in the saber scar that will forever mar his face. The smattering of moles across his skin. The full mouth that quivers ever so slightly as she slides her thumb across his lower lip…
A gust of wind reaches past Kylo to barrel into her. She blinks against the onslaught of sand that strikes her own face and snaps her from her reverie.
"What's happening.." she manages, ducking her face against Kylo's chest, even as a part of her warns against such traitorous intimacy.
"I believe you asked me this last time," he says with a hint of amusement, uttering the words against her ear as his hands rest tentatively at her hips to hold her steady.
He's not talking about the storm, Rey realises with a stab of self-consciousness. Pulling away, she averts her eyes; unwilling to witness whatever unguarded emotion might be bared within his own.
"Kylo this is madness, you have to find shelter!" The wind whips the words from her mouth and tosses them to the sky.
"What?" He shouts in unison with the howling gale.
"Shelter!" Rey yells, fearful for the both of them; half-afraid the Force has somehow pulled her across the stars and trapped her in the storm.
"I think… This way!" He draws back, hands sliding along her arms to grasp her fingers.
"No!" Pulling her hand free of Kylo's hold, she's relieved when the wind drops away from her as soon as the contact between them is broken. She's still on the Falcon. Still hurtling through space at hyperspeed. Still safe.
"Ben, I can't follow you." She's not sure why it pains her to say it. She only knows the one thing more painful is the stricken look on Ben's face when his hand closes on emptiness.
Kylo Ren, she reminds herself stoically. You're helping Kylo Ren. When he's probably on the planet just to burn another village.
"Rey?"
He stands strong against the wind's fury as if born of fury himself. Black cloak whipping his body, dark hair whipping his face. Concentration set upon his expression like a mask. He's using the Force to hold back the brunt of it, she realises. But still, she knows there's a lost boy looking out through his eyes, pleading for her to stay. To help him. To join him.
"Ben…" Shaking her head, Rey stumbles backwards. She can't bear this. He's the enemy. To her. To the Resistance. He's the worst enemy she could ever know. And here she is, calling him Ben as if he's nothing more than the prodigal son of Han and Leia rather than a power-hungry warlord. What the hell is she thinking?
"Rey! Wait up!"
"I'm sorry," turning away, she squeezes her eyes shut and wills the Force to release her from their bond.
'Rey! Wake up!"
"I can't…" hot tears burn behind her eyelids. Bewilderment raises a prickle of warning in her mind.
"Rey! Wake up!"
Snapping her eyes open, Rey finds herself being shaken by hands that grip her shoulders with the ferocity of a gundark.
"What the hell?" Blinking, she looks around. Confused to find herself in her bunk. A grey Resistance-issue blanket tangled amidst her legs. Her mind groggy with the residue of sleep.
"You've been asleep for ages!" Rose complains, "Finn needs you back in the cockpit. We've had to drop out of hyperspace. There's unexpected asteroid debris out here and we're right in the thick of it. You know he can't pilot this scrapheap like you can."
"Right." Sitting up, Rey kicks the blankets from her legs and takes a moment to gather her thoughts. A long moment.
It was a dream, she realises in giddy relief. It was all a dream. And the solace she takes from that little gem when she remembers the way she practically stroked Kylo's face... Is almost palpable. Once she swallows back the initial burning humiliation.
"I'll be right there." She offers Rose a wan smile and moves to swing her legs over the bunk.
"Sure." Rose stops halfway to the door and turns back to stare at her quizzically. "Hey Rey, just one thing…"
"Hmm?"
"Um.." Confusion crosses Rose's face as if she's not quite sure how to broach her question. "What's with the sand?"
"Sand?"
She understands as soon as she opens her mouth to ask. It's strewn through her bedding. Powdered on her skin. Mortified, she rakes her fingers through her hair and feels it collect under her nails and rain down upon her shoulders.
It wasn't a dream. She groans inwardly, speechless as her mind tries to grasp what this means. Then, aware that some kind of coherent answer is expected, she reaches for anything least likely to inspire further questions.
"It's… It's a Force thing, " she mutters, " I was training in my sleep."
"Okay then," Rose shrugs, baffled by all things Force-related at the best of times, "see you in a couple."
It was just a dream, Rey insists to herself vehemently, heading for the fresher.
But somehow, her inner voice whispers back to her as the guilt and intrigue and worry and sadness churn anew through her stomach, it was anything but.
Another note: 'Conversations' was originally intended as a series of Force bond one-shots not necessarily linked from one chapter to the next or even linear for that matter. But along the way, I've developed the sketchy outlines of a plot that involves bringing it all together along the track. I'm just not sure whether to or not to weave these chapters into a bigger picture or keep them as separate or just loosely-related Force conversation standalones, forever. What are readers hoping for? Feedback is welcome!
Last thing (I'm really on a rambling role), the song I listen to most while writing my Reylo fics is Still, by Daughter. If you haven't listened to it yet, I strongly suggest it if you enjoy beautiful angst. Last last thing... If you're on Tumblr, come say hello to me acowlorsomethng :)