Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.
A story all about Sophie and Gideon's life after her Ascension, starting just a few days before their wedding. Their love is so special, and often so underrated, so i'm looking forward to writing about their lives together.
Enjoy :)
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A scar.
It stretched from the corner of her mouth, all the way up to her temple. It narrowed at the ends, thickening slightly in the middle.
It was always the first thing that anyone noticed about her. It had always been the first thing her eyes found when she dared to look at her own reflection in the mirror. The pain the knife had caused her when it had cut into her skin was nothing compared to the misery that followed with living with the destroyed half of her face.
She hated the way people looked at her because of it. She received either horror or pity, neither being an option she preferred. The way people would either gawk shamelessly at her with open eyes, like Miss Jessamine had first done, or the way they had tried their best to divert their eyes, like Master Jem had kindly attempted. The whisperings she would hear from people in the street. Each time, it would make her way to close her eyes and disappear into thin air.
Softly, she touched it now with the ends of her fingers, as she stood facing the mirror. Her hand shook slightly as it caressed the damaged skin. The light entering the room from the large window caught the side of her face, making the scar aluminate with a silver shine.
There was one person, however, who had not noticed her scar first. Gideon Lightwood, stood so stoic and untouchable in the training room of the London Institute, had looked into her eyes first upon their first meeting.
I see it, he had later admitted as they spoke privately. I am not blind.
It is just another beautiful part of the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.
Sophie had long accepted that being ashamed of her scar would not change the fact it was on her face. No amount of crying or wishing would alter what had happened. It was simply impossible. Instead, she had learnt to face it. She had learned a way of walking the streets that would cause her hat to cover it as best as possible, to spare her from the looks. It wasn't to pretend that it wasn't there, but simply to avoid the pity comments.
She no longer flinched at her reflection, or cried herself to sleep because of her broken looks. Gideon Lightwood had been the first person that had made her feel beautiful, who had not made her want to shy away from. He had made her feel special, and loved.
Her spare hand, which had been braiding her long brown hair distractingly, paused as she thought of the handsome man with sandy-coloured hair and green-grey eyes that shined with such warmth whenever he sort her out in a crowded room. The man who had been so dedicated to her training and had believed in her more than she had sometimes believed in herself. The man who had persisted on pursuing her, even when she had reminded him countless times of their different statuses, even though her heart ached for him, to be with him.
The man who, in three days time, would become her husband.
And now, as she sat and remembered his smile that he reserved only for her, she forgot all about her scar.
There was a light tapping on her door, and she glanced out of the window to see the sun was now setting. The light sneaked into her room, touching everything with an amber glow. It was an odd time for someone to request her now. Although she was no longer the maid, Sophie had returned to the London Institute after her Ascension. It was her home, after all. She could not imagine herself anywhere else.
Twisting a band around her hair quickly, she flicked the braid over her shoulder and headed for the door, straightening her gown as she went. It was a pretty shade of purple, almost lilac in the darkening light, and had a white floral trim that she was particularly fond of.
She opened the door slowly, and couldn't suppress the gasp of surprise and delight that escaped her as her eyes landed on a very familiar, handsome face. "Gideon!"
A smile erupted across his face, causing a dimple to appear below the right-hand side of his mouth. His eyes glowed. "Hello, my love. I hoped to surprise you-" He was cut off as Sophie threw herself at him, her arms embracing him tightly as she breathed in his familiar scent of cinnamon. His hair was scruffy and a sheathed seraph blade was still attached to his belt.
His arms were around her not a second later, resting around her small hips, pulling her body tightly against his. With a contented sigh, he nestled his nose into the crook of her neck, feeling the tiredness that had racked his body all day finally fade away. "I missed you." He whispered to her, as one hand stroked her lower back. "By the Angel, how I missed you..."
Gently, she eased away from him, her hands flying up to his cheeks as she reached up onto her tiptoes and kissed him fully on the mouth, smiling against his lips at his surprise, but not a second later, he was returning the kiss with just as much vigour. Gideon was always kind and gentle with her, but moments like this, when he allowed his emotions to take over, were one of her favourites.
For so long, she had been scared that their social statuses would prevent them from being together. That was why she had tried to push him away at the start, because the thought of losing him had terrified her enough, let alone losing him after their relationship had progressed. But, cutting Gideon out of her life had been so painful, as if each time she ignored him or told him they couldn't be together it was as if someone was slicing into her heart. She had done it to protect him, not wanting him scorned by other Shadowhunters or disowned from his family for choosing to court a mundane maid.
But, he had insisted time and time again that he loved her for who she was, regardless of her status, and now, she was so relieved that he had continued to fight for her. When he had first announced that he intended to marry her, she had been stunned, but she had accepted his heart-felt, sweet proposal without a second doubt.
For a few more moments, they stood in the doorway of her room, with their hands roaming lovingly over each other, his on her back with hers round his neck, until the need for oxygen finally became too much to ignore.
She rested her forehead against his strong chest and felt him lay a gentle kiss against her temple.
"I see you've missed me, too?" Gideon teased her, giving her waist an affectionate squeeze.
She swatted him playfully, very much enjoying being able to interact with him like this. All those days of sneaking off on her days off to meet him, all the whispered conversations in the hallways of the Institutes, exchanging small kisses and looks whenever they were alone - it was all over now. Now, they were two Shadowhunters engaged to be married, and she could not recall a time where she had ever been so happy.
"I was starting to think that I would be left waiting at the altar for you to come in dripping with demon ichor." She admitted. Gideon had been sent on a mission four days ago; a nest of Shax demons had appeared in Norwich. He had accompanied their friend, William Herondale, head of the London Institute, and his younger brother, Gabriel, to assist the local Shadowhunters with the large nest.
Gideon chuckled, his breath tickling the exposed skin of her neck. "Whether I would be dripping in demon ichor or not, I would have been there." He promised, and she knew he meant it. Even now, she could not understand the fuzzy, warm feeling he created inside her, but she knew she never wanted to lose it. "The nest was easy enough to deal with, once we had found it."
"I wish I could have gone with you." She said with a small huff. She had, of course, asked if she could join them. She had wanted to see outside of London, and she had yet to experience a demon raid. However, the need to still have Shadowhunters in London overruled that, so she, Cecily and Tessa had stayed behind.
"There will be plenty more demons, I am sure." Gideon measured her, leaning back so he could look down at her, his eyes finding hers. "It really wasn't that interesting, my love, I promise you."
My love, the words still had the same tingling effect on her now as they had done when he had first spoken them to her. "Have you only just arrived home?" She asked, referring to his worn, but bloodless gear. He was far too clean for someone who had just returned from battling a nest full of Shax's.
"I changed, when I arrived." He told her, explaining his clean clothes. "There was no way I was greeting my fiancee whilst being unable to hold her in my arms. I'd hate to ruin your lovely dress with ichor mess."
She felt her cheeks warm up in a blush which always betrayed her, and one that he always caused. No one had ever made her blush before him. "You must be exhausted." She fretted, brushing the hair away from his forehead. He was in need of a haircut before the wedding, that was for certain. "Why don't you retreat to your room and I'll fetch something for you from the kitchen?"
"Food was not my top most priority upon returning home." He said dismissively, pulling her closer to his chest again as if to support his claim. "I wanted to see you."
She smiled sweetly, her hand cupping his cheek. He leaned into her touch gratefully. "Either way, our wedding day won't be much good if you drop to the floor in exhaustion now. Is - is that blood on your face, Gideon Lightwood?"
There was a dark stain under his temple, almost blending into his sandy hair. "It's not mine." He assured her. "Clearly, I was in too much of a rush when I freshened up."
"So, you're not hurt?" She pressed.
"A little bruised," He admitted with a shrug. "The demons seemed a little...over-confident, shall we say. Usually, a Shax is quite careless, but together, they're quite annoying. At least all those years of training with Gabriel paid off." They shared an amused smile at the thought of his younger brother. "I'm fine, my love, honestly. The sight of you has made me feel ten times better, already."
"Still, I insist you have something to eat." She said firmly. "I want to marry you, Gideon Lightwood, but I do not wish to have someone help you down the aisle just because you're too stubborn to admit you need to rest."
He grinned at that, causing her favourite dimple to reappear, and his fingers gently brushed over her cheek, tucking a stray strand of her dark hair back behind her ear. "I like it when you're bossy." he admitted in a hushed voice, his mouth so close to her face that his breath tickled her.
Sophie rolled his eyes as her cheeks burned even more. Gently, she placed her hands on his broad chest and affectionately shoved him away from her. "Go, I won't be long."
Gideon stole one last kiss before admitting defeat and heading down the corridor, glancing back over his shoulder fondly as he went. Shutting her door behind her, Sophie headed in the other direction, a smile on her face. He was home.
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It did not take Sophie long at all to collect a tray with bread, cheese, grapes and a slice of banana bred from the Institute's kitchen. She often spent a lot of her spare time down there, regardless of her new life as a Shadowhunter, as she had always enjoyed baking.
"No scones?" Gideon teased lightly as he opened the door for her, allowing her to slip inside his room at the Institute.
"Do not push your luck, Gideon Lightwood." She shot back good-naturedly, resting the tray down on the table beside the bed before turning back to her fiancee.
He had changed out of his gear, slipping into casual attire, and he had washed the blood of his face. He still spent the same, of cinnamon and spiced apple, as he pulled her against him again, his arms wrapping perfectly around her waist as he kissed her sweetly.
"I love you." He told her, resting his forehead against hers when they eventually broke apart. "My heart ached for you whilst I was gone. I've never had someone to return home to before, and I'll forever be grateful that it is someone as wonderful, as beautiful, as you, Sophie Collins."
Still unaccustomed to having someone speak so fondly of her, she blushed, but the smile that spread across her face proved how much joy his words had brought to him. he knew, with such intense surety,that he would spend the rest of his days making sure she was happy.
"I love you," She said back, without doubt or fear or worry in her voice. "So much."
"Three days," He reminded her softly, although it was unnecessary. She had been counting down the days ever since they had settled on a date for the wedding. Although Gideon had made it clear that he would marry her on the spot, she had wanted time to plan, and he had been happy to agree to her wishes. She had never been so excited for something in her life, and so she wanted to ensure it was perfect.
"I will pray you do not get sent away on another mission before then." She told him as her fingers brushed over the collar of his dress shirt, momentarily fiddling with the buttons.
He grinned. "I have no doubt that if there is another call to a mission, that you will insist on coming with me. In fact, I think planning a wedding is a lot more terrifying than any mission i will ever be sent on."
She raised an eyebrow. "You do not wish to marry me?" She asked, unable to prevent the small fear that lingered inside her of Gideon one day releasing she was not good enough for him. It was irrational, and embarrassing, but it was still there.
His eyes widened in shock. "What? My love, I'm sorry if what i said offended you. I certainly did not mean that. I cannot wait to marry you. I...I was not thinking..."
She hushed him gently, placing her fingers over his lips. "Forgive me, I was being silly. Please, will you eat something?"
"Only if I can request your company for a little while longer," Gideon compromised. He enjoyed Sophie's fussing, but he enjoyed her presence a lot more. She had always had a way of putting him at ease, whilst also having an unexplainable force that pulled him to her. He had embarrassed himself more in front of Sophie than he had ever done in his whole life. "Unless, of course, you yourself are tired?"
She smiled at him, reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss him lightly. "I am perfectly fine." She assured him, moving to perch at the side of his bed. Despite how much her life had changed over the past few months, she still couldn't help her old habits. Being alone in a gentleman's room was most improper, but surely as she was now engaged to marry him, it was acceptable? She knew Shadowhunters did not follow the same costumes as mundanes, but there were still so many finer details that she wasn't sure on yet.
Gideon, on the other hand, seemed to have no hesitation. He sat beside her, his arm against hers, and she could feel the warmth radiating from his battle-tired body. He passed her the slice of banana bread, knowing fully well from their past picnics that she had a sweet tooth, and declining the half she instantly offered him.
"Will you tell me about the mission?" She requested.
He dipped his head. "Of course," He brushed the crumbs of the bread away from his mouth with the back of his hand. "Will and Gabriel spent the entire carriage ride bickering, as always, about the best way to locate the nest. We had a vague idea about where it was, but when we reached the site, we found it completely deserted. Finally, when we located the new nest, we found there were a lot more demons than were first reported. It was messy, and dark, and the ground was slippery underfoot…"
Gideon continued with his story, recounting the battle with accurate detail, not wanting to shield Sophie from just how tricky and dangerous missions could be. She had yet to be sent on one that had nothing to do with the Magister, and he wanted her to be prepared.
She listened intently, in her mind she pictured the scene that Gideon was describing, and although certain bits unsettled her, she envied them greatly. Ever since discovering the existence of Shadowhunters, she had longed to be one. When Gideon had first tried to convince her to pursue her dream, she had never thought it was possible. Now, here she was, with her own runes engraved into her skin, finally belonging in the Shadowhunter world.
"One of them got its tail around my leg. It yanked and sent me flying. I landed in a foul puddle. Gabriel got the beast, but my gear smelt horrid. Luckily, we all got out unscathed. I think the bruising in my shoulder is a result of colliding into Will mid fight."
With the tray now empty, Gideon gently moved to rest his back against the headboard, with Sophie remaining at the foot of the bed, unsure. He smiled comfortingly. "Will you join me, my love? I wish to hold you in my arms for a little longer, before you must retreat back to your room."
She drew in a surprised breath, her eyes widening at the suggestion. She had never laid in a gentleman's bed before, no matter how innocent the action may be.
But, this was Gideon. He loved her. No harm would ever come to her from him. She was sure of this, and it was that surety that moved her so she was curled up against his side. She rested her head against him, listening to the gentle beating of his heart and feeling the soft rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. He entwined a hand through hers, whilst his other had moved around her, holding her to him.
"You are so special, Sophie." He whispered to her. Her eyes were closed, and although it was very tempting to drift off beside him, she wouldn't allow herself to relax completely. "I don't know what I've done right in my life to deserve you, but I never want to let you go."
She looked up at him then, meeting his gaze. He seemed slightly troubled. "Gideon, what is wrong?" She asked.
He sighed. "I thought of you, a lot, when I was away. On the carriage ride, whenever I shut my eyes, all I could see was your face. I missed you terribly. When I fought the demons, I've never felt so much strength before. You gave me that strength; the thought of you, waiting for me to return home, the thought of our wedding and the rest of our lives we had to share together. It drove me. Powered me. It made me fight harder than I've ever fought before, because I simply could not risk not returning to you. My heart beats for you, Sophie. My entire reason for living is you. You are my life, now. Forever."
For a moment, she was stunned. For a man who had seemed so closed off to her at first, he had opened up to her so many times since they had met but it always left her momentarily speechless. He had a way of putting words together that always made her feel safe, comforted and loved, and made her blush at certain times.
She cupped his cheek softly, turning his head so he was looking directly down at her. "I'm not going anywhere." She promised him softly. "I am here, with you, and by your side is where I will stay for the rest of our lives."
Something changed between them in that moment, a sudden desperate need to remind each other that they were there, together. He leaned down and captured her lips, kissing her in a way that he had never kissed her before. He kissed her with desperation, one hand supporting the back of her neck while the other traced down the side of her dress until it rested upon her hip. He moved his body so he was closer to her, and she did not shy away from it. Instead, she kissed him back just as desperately, wanting to reassure him that she was really with him, that he had come back to her. The thought of him not returning home terrified her, and she needed the reassurance of him being here just as much as he did.
He swiftly removed the band trapping her hair, and his fingers unravelled the plait to allow her hair to be released. It fell over her shoulders in soft curls, and as he ran his hands through it another shiver of pleasure ran down her spine.
She moaned against his lips, a fire inside her igniting at the new intensity of the kiss, and he used that moment to ease his tongue inside her mouth. No matter the passion that burned inside them, the desire, Gideon didn't rush her. He took his time, exploring her mouth with great interest and softness.
It was all so new and exciting, and she found herself getting lost in the kiss, her hands gripping the back of his neck, her fingers clutching at the locks of his hair, holding his body against hers in a way that she knew was improper, but one she was enjoying far too much to pull away from.
Soon enough, they had moved, with his hands on either side of her head as she lay back into the pillows, his body hovering above hers as he supported his weight off her. His lips moved away from her mouth so he could trail sweet kisses along her jawline and then down to her neck, enjoying how the dress's neckline exposed her skin. Sophie let out a moan that was most unladylike, but she found herself not caring, enjoying the sensations his lips were causing her far too much to want him to stop. Her back arched on its own accord, pressing her closer to him.
"You are so beautiful." He whispered against her skin, his lips moving back up their path to her lips, and a kiss which he lay below her ear had her squirming in pleasure. He took note of that silently.
Her hands knotted in his hair as he continued to tease her, before he finally returned to her mouth and kissed her passionately, stealing all her oxygen. She no longer cared for breathing. It was not important. Nothing was important. Only Gideon. Gideon, and his hand that was moving up her stomach slowly, until it brushed against her covered breast...
And then, it was as if someone had poured icy water on her, snapping her out of whatever dream she was in and bringing her back to the reality of the situation. "Gideon!" She gasped.
It was not a gasp of pleasure, and he instantly stopped what he was doing, drawing himself back and looking down at her in concern. "What is it, my love? Did I hurt you?"
"W-we are...we can't…we are not married yet!" She reminded him, her words coming out in breathless pants as she tried to regain her composure. How could she have been so weak to her desires?
Realisation dawned on his face. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me…" He moved off her, sitting at the side of the bed and running his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry, Sophie, I didn't mean to make you feel as if I was taking advantage."
She sat up, her breathing finally returning to normal, though the blush on her cheeks was still burning. Feeling bad, she moved to lay her hands on his tight shoulders, dropping her chin to rest by his head. "I know." She reassured him. "I know you would never do that."
"I am a gentleman." He said, but it seemed as if he was talking to himself, as if scolding himself for what he had done. "I was raised as a gentleman. I should not have…"
"I wanted you to." She admitted, flushing even deeper as she revealed her desires. A lady did not speak such things, she knew that. "I really did. Gideon, please don't be harsh on yourself."
He turned his head to look at her, and then shifted so he could face her, his hands taking hers and giving them a squeeze. "Shadowhunters do not share the same customs as mundanes, but I respect your wishes. I understand why you wish to wait, you were not brought with the same customs as I was, and although you now belong in my world, I do not expect you to change your beliefs. You are not mad at me, for losing my self-control like that?"
She gave him a tender smile. "How could I be mad, when I was no better? I just...we should wait for our wedding night."
He nodded slowly. "I agree. Of course, I agree. I would never...I just...I love you so much, Sophie. I forgot myself."
"And you can show me how much you love me on our wedding night." She reassured him, not exactly understanding where this sudden confidence had come from. "I respect you for stopping."
"Of course," He said instantly. "I would never force you into anything."
"I know." She said sweetly. "I'm very lucky. But, I should return to my own room. We have plenty of planning to do tomorrow."
He smiled.
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I honestly have no words for this pairing - I just LOVE them.
Thank for you for reading. I'm hoping to get the next chapter up within the next few days.
- E x