I gave a mental nod. (Okay.)

Maybe it was because of our mind to mind connection. Granted, I couldn't read Terlin's thoughts the way he could with mine, but I could feel his emotions, and I hoped that translated into knowing if he was telling the truth or not. He hadn't lied to me about going through my memories, so I believed that he wouldn't go through them again.

It occurred to me that if he did-while I was asleep-I probably wouldn't have any way of knowing.

The thing was, I wanted to trust him. Maybe it was wishful thinking on my part. I knew that I would be stuck with him, or another Yeerk, as long as they were on this planet. The thought was depressing, but it helped that Terlin had been decent to me so far. I could understand that the whole situation was bizarre, something I never could have imagined except maybe in a science fiction movie. Aliens were real, and one of them was living in my head. He could control me whenever he wanted, but for most of the time he'd been living in my head, he was choosing not to exercise this power.

Because, I assumed, he cared about me and how I felt about the new living arrangement.

At the very least, Terlin cared about gaining my cooperation. It was easy to see that he had all of the power, but he wasn't keeping me in the dark about what was going on, and, like I said, his treatment of me so far had been decent.

It occurred to me that his situation wasn't exactly something to be envied. Not just because in his natural state he was basically blind and helpless, but because he was suddenly expected to live in someone who could end up hating him. It wasn't Terlin's fault that he had been born as a parasitic slug, in need of a host to reside in for any quality of life. It also wasn't his fault that his government was apparently corrupt and if you ticked off the wrong people, you would die. Sure, he could probably just opt out of taking a host. There had to be lots more Yeerks who didn't have hosts than ones who did. At least, right now. But, if he left me, I'd just get another Yeerk, and I wasn't naive enough to think that they were all decent.

I also suspected that he was bending the rules by promising me to try and keep my family safe. As safe as was possible during this secretive, but clearly widespread, invasion. I wondered if there weren't enough Yeerks for all of humanity to be at risk for eventual infestation. I mean, there were nearly six billion of us, and I had learned in one of my classes that our population was only continuing to grow. Whether or not the population would expand to the point where the planet could no longer support us was another issue entirely, but we were definitely expanding in numbers faster than we had ever been before, at least according to my history teacher. Whatever the population of the Yeerk empire was, I didn't think it was in the billions, yet.

(No, we're closer to forty million, and most of us do not reproduce. The ones who do die throughout the process, and approximately three hundred young Yeerks are born in their stead. It takes three Yeerks to reproduce,) Terlin informed me, taking on the tone he used when he acted as a teacher.

(How do you die through giving birth?) I had an imagine of a string of small slugs passing through a regular Yeerk as though they were in a line. Maybe giving birth to so many at once stressed the body to the point that it couldn't recover.

(Three Yeerks merge to create a sort of "supersized" Yeerk, and that Yeerk breaks off into hundreds of offspring. Grubs, as we call them. By the end of the process, the bodies of the three Yeerks have become the hundreds of bodies of a new Yeerk.)

I frowned. (And that's it? No more parent Yeerks?)

(There's a Yeerk legend of the first ten grubs who could detect their parents' presence and communicate, briefly, before the parents lose that ability entirely. But it's probably just a myth. Yeerk memories don't go back that far, and given the amount of Yeerks in a pool at any given time, if there was communication going on between the grubs and their parents, other Yeerks would have detected it.) Terlin shrugged. (The older Yeerks in the pool take the time to teach the young...a sort of "it takes a village" mentality. And the Yeerk grubs are very close with their siblings, much the way humans are. However, those who were born close in proximity usually have stronger emotional bonds.)

It was a lot to process. An entire species who didn't have parents, yet somehow established closed relationships with each other. Or, as close as you could be when you were in competition for a host that would give you a better life.

(The competition for a host doesn't quite set in until after training begins,) Terlin protested. (Until then, Yeerks don't really know dissatisfaction with their surroundings, because it's all they've ever known. You wouldn't feel that you were at a disadvantage because you couldn't fly, for instance.)

(Well, no, but no human can fly,) I pointed out.

(Exactly. It's much the same way with us. We know from a young age that we're parasites and capable of receiving a body and, with that, many other senses that we cannot accurately describe until we have experienced them. But we don't consider ourselves as handicapped or living a substandard life simply because we haven't experienced them yet. After training, though, there's certainly more incentive for some to receive and retain a host.)

(All Yeerks go through training?)

(Correct.)

(What does that mean, exactly?)

I had in my mind an image of a classroom setting, with Yeerks swimming around listening to some sort of instructor, who explained the types of aliens they had conquered and how best to subdue each one. Then, they probably had a few on hand for Yeerks to infest, only for short periods of time, and release for the next Yeerk to take over.)

It sounded awful.

(It's a bit like that,) Terlin admitted. (Usually, it's Gedds, and they're old ones who are not much use as permanent hosts. Each Yeerk has about fifteen minutes to enter the Gedd, take control, and explore the mind and the senses before it's the next Yeerk's turn. But the mind of the Gedd is about as advanced as the mind of a monkey, and they have been used as a host for so long that this transfer from one Yeerk to the next rarely bothers them.)

I had trouble believing that, but having never met a Gedd, it was possible that Terlin was telling the truth.

(Think humans are going to end up like that?)

Terlin winced. (I hope not. It won't happen anytime soon. Gedds were used for hosts for thousands of years before the idea of training began. That was after the Yeerk Empire started.)

I hoped he was right. The idea of myself or my family being taken hostage and used as training hosts for hundreds, maybe thousands, of unexperienced Yeerks (was unexperienced better than experienced?) sounded like my own personal hell.

(You're my host, if that helps, and all humans who receive Yeerks receive them as hosts. The Yeerk may be reassigned, but humans do not get passed to Yeerks without reason,) he told me, gently.

I was quiet for awhile, and tried to focus on the movie. I could feel Terlin concentrate on the film as well. Given that neither of us had paid much attention during the past hour or so, a lot of what was going on went over our heads. Eventually, I gave it up as a lot cause, and turned my attention back to my Yeerk.

(Did you talk to your previous hosts a lot?) I asked him, wanting to steer the topic onto something that felt safe. Well, safer.

(My Taxxon host the most,) Terlin responded. (Taxxons are quite intelligent, but their eternal hunger makes it nearly impossible for them to focus on anything aside from that. When a Yeerk is in control, it takes over not simply the body's functions, but the receptors in the brain that allow the host to feel pain and pleasure. Not completely. A host is still aware of being in pain, or the pleasure of eating a favorite food...that sort of thing. But most of the senses belong to the Yeerk. This is particularly beneficial for Taxxons, because of their fierce hunger. Once I, or one of my brother Yeerks, are in charge, they can focus on other matters. Many are quite communicative towards their Yeerks.)

(They probably see you as a welcome guest who takes away that pain,) I guessed.

(Exactly. We are left to deal with the physical condition of their species, but a voluntary mind almost makes it worth it,) he confirmed. (Taxxons are the ones who fly the planes, because their bodies are adept at controlling the ships' computers with their fast reflexes, and some assist their Yeerks in decision making while in flight. Or, so I've heard.)

(You had a Gedd and a Hork-Bajir, too?)

Terlin gave a mental nod. (Yes. Gedds, as I told you before, are barely sentient, and not capable of much original thought. But they were the most complex form of life on our home world, so we utilized them as hosts long before the Andalites invaded our planet. They are not intelligent enough to fully understand the concept of Yeerk control, they have similar emotions as most sentiment creatures. We attempt to make them happy in their current state without subjecting their mind to domination. But, they're not exactly able to converse with us on an intellectual level.)

(And the Hork-Bajir?)

Terlin gave a mental frown. (Smarter that Gedds. They have a spoken language and a culture. Their intelligence would be equal to that of a human toddler. Perhaps a three or four year old. Very basic, able to understand that they are not in control of their bodies when a Yeerk is present, and generally not happy about it. Yeerks cannot usually reason with them or promise control in exchange for good behavior-)

(The way you would with humans,) I interrupted.

(Well, yes,) Terlin admitted. (So, they often try to take control and fail to understand why they cannot, except that it's because of the Yeerk. So, most of them hate Yeerks for that reason alone. But, there are a small handful of voluntary Hork-Bajir. I am not entirely sure how that came to be. Those aren't exactly more intelligent than the others, but perhaps they were conditioned to accept their Yeerk better. We don't infest the youth of a species because it's too problematic with body development, so Hork-Bajir do have memories of not being with a Yeerk. Perhaps, some receive a first Yeerk who is particularly kind, and they do not have a negative association with Yeerk control.)

I couldn't say that made a ton of sense, but it sounded like Terlin didn't understand it completely either. At any rate, he was no longer in a Hork-Bajir, and I got the sense that he was happy about this. Even if I wasn't covered with blades for battle, I didn't have eternal hunger to deal with, and I had the potential to be voluntary. No wonder Terlin was trying to be nice to me.

(It's not strictly pragmatic, Tom,) he interjected. (I am living in your head, so I am seeing your memories and hearing your thoughts and emotions. I'm not you, of course, but it's easy to see how you see the world. I care about your wellbeing. Especially when you can comprehend this more fully than my other hosts. I do want us to develop an understanding, even a friendship. If that means allowing you control of your body for most of the time and doing what I can to prevent your family from becoming hosts to unsympathetic Yeerks, I am certainly willing to do that.)

(Thanks, I guess.) I appreciated his saying this, and reminded myself that it wasn't like he had had much of a choice in the whole infestation process. I reminded myself that I could probably do far worse as far as Yeerks went. With having full access to your body and mind, the ways to make a human mind suffer were pretty much infinite. And it wasn't like the Yeerk had to use much in the way of imagination. Just play back your worst memories for awhile...not that I had a whole lot of those, but there were things that I'd done and said that were embarrassing, hurtful. People had hurt me too, in the past, whether they meant to or not. You could probably make someone miserable just with playing those events back, and mocking them.

(I won't hurt you, Tom,) Terlin promised, sensing my unease at the tools of misery available to him. Just because he didn't use them didn't mean he wouldn't. (I'm not a torturer.)

I believed him. The knowledge that I believed him gave me a sense of comfort, of reassurance. Terlin may have looked at my memories when I'd been sleeping, but he hadn't shown me anything from my past I had wanted to forget. He hadn't taunted me or taken full control on purpose, except when he'd had to. He seemed decent enough, so far.

Still, I was glad that it would be another two and a half days before we'd head back to the Yeerk Pool, and my decision would be official.

Jake arrived home about a half hour after the movie ended. My parents and I were still sitting in the living room, munching on leftover popcorn and starting on some brownies that Mom had made during the credits. Mom wasn't exactly a Mrs. Cleaver from Leave It to Beaver, but she did like cooking meals and desserts for us, and while she wasn't a stay at home mom-she worked as a freelance writer-I guessed her schedule allowed for her to be more domestic than some of my other friends' moms.

To be honest, it was probably something that Jake and I had taken for granted most of our life.

"Hi, honey," said Mom, looking up from her chair. "Want to join us for a snack?"

Jake eyed the popcorn and brownies with the unending stomach of a new teenager. "Sure. I'll just grab a plate and some milk from the kitchen." He started to go, then added, "You guys want anything?"

"Milk sounds good, Midget," I told him, feeling the chocolate coating on my tongue, mixed with the salt, and suddenly longing for a cool glass of milk to wash it down. Before helping myself to more, of course.

Jake rolled his eyes at the nickname, and turned to my parents. Mom and Dad both decided that milk would be good, and Mom followed Jake into the kitchen to get hers and Dad's, since he only had two hands and she was worried about him spilling.

A few minutes later, we were all seated in the living room, me and Dad on matching comfortable chairs that had been in the house for as long as I could remember, and Mom and Jake on an equally old but comfortable couch.

Just a nice, quiet evening with a family hanging out and eating junk food.

Well, the milk was healthy.

Terlin laughed in my mind at the last observation, but other than that, he stayed quiet. I guessed he was still observing my world.

I decided to turn in an hour later. It wasn't super late, only around 10:30, but in spite of my nap earlier, I was tired and looking forward to a good night's sleep. Jake followed my lead, and my parents decided that turning in early (for them) probably wouldn't hurt any. I headed to the bathroom to check on my face and brush my teeth.

The bruising around my face had definitely gotten worse, but I'd had enough bike mishaps to know that this was normal. I pulled up the sleeves of my shirt to check my arms, and they also looked bruised, but not infected. I hoped. Despite what Terlin had said earlier, I wasn't entirely sure that a cut from an alien wouldn't warrant some sort of tetanus shot.

(They often cause minor injuries to unruly involuntary hosts at the Yeerk Pool,) Terlin told me. (From what I've heard, the cuts heal without a trip to the hospital.)

I frowned at this information. (On purpose?)

(No. It's just that some humans try to escape, and the guards have to prevent that without delaying the infestation process. Now, I know that doesn't make it right, and their Yeerks often have words with the guards later. Bruising on humans always looks suspect, and even if the Yeerk doesn't care about the host personally, it's a hassle to be tending to cuts a few times a week.)

It occurred to me that, even if I was involuntary, Terlin would probably take offense if the guards mistreated me at the Pool. The emotions that I felt from him when I realized this-namely, warmness and a sense of protectiveness-confirmed my suspicions.

A feeling of warmth, of affection for Terlin, spread over me then. Briefly, but it was there.

I washed my face and arms again before brushing my teeth. I was sort of dreading getting undressed with Terlin being there, but at some point, I'd have to change my clothes, even if I decided to sleep in them from now on. Not to mention the whole showering and going to the bathroom with him watching. Which, I realized, I had to do now. I could feel my cheeks warm with embarrassment as I realized that he'd be there to see all of that. I just stood there, dreading my next move.

(I've never had a human host before, Tom, but many first time humans have these concerns. They're normal body functions, and we don't find them to be strange. It may be awkward at first, but you'll soon get used to it.)

(Couldn't you just leave my head instead while I do all that?) I asked, hopefully.

Terlin sighed. He knew that there was only a 50-50 chance that I would let him back in. If that.

(Okay.) I took a deep breath. (Here goes nothing.)

A few minutes later, I was washing my hands and my face was still red. Okay, Terlin hadn't done or said anything during the whole time, but the whole situation was uncomfortable enough. But it wasn't like i could go without performing basic bodily functions daily, so I just hoped that he was right and I would get used to it.

I changed out of my clothes and into my PJs as quickly as I could, and not looking in the mirror. Normally, I would have showered before bed, but enough was enough for one day. I climbed into bed and pulled the covers over me before closing my eyes and waiting for sleep to come.

Except, it wouldn't. Despite being tired. I shifted my position in the bed, hoping that would help, but I just turned back on my right side a few minutes later. I moved the pillows around. That helped. A little. Not enough. I sighed.

(It's often difficult for a host to sleep in the beginning,) Terlin consoled me.

(It wasn't earlier,) I grumbled, shifting my body again.

(You were exhausted, and very stressed. In addition, your mind needed an escape from what had happened to you.) His voice was soft. (Things feel a little more normal now, so there's no immediate need for escape, and you are adjusting to an unfamiliar situation.)

That made sense, but it didn't help me fall asleep any faster.

(Just try to relax,) Terlin urged. (Deep breaths and whatnot.)

Ten minutes and about a million breaths later, I was still wide awake.

(Sorry,) I said.

Terlin gave a mental shrug. (At least you don't have to worry about school tomorrow.)

(Yeah, I'll just walk around like a zombie at home. No biggie,) I grumbled. (Hey, do Yeerks sleep?)

(Not in the same way our hosts do. Some of us rest in the pool, especially if we have an involuntary host and are experiencing a lot of stress from this. But if our host bodies receive enough sleep, we also do, by default. And, of course, a host's mind can be resting while the Yeerk is utilizing the body.) Sensing my confusion, he explained, (For instance, earlier, you were tired and took a nap. Had that been impossible, and I had I been in control, you still could have done that, but only in your mind. The exhaustion would have rendered your mind unconscious, and you might have even dreamed. Your physical body would still be active if I retained control.)

(But as I'm in control, that can't happen now, without my falling asleep.)

(I believe so. I'm not in expert in human biology, but I've heard stories of it happening.)

I yawned, and I could feel my eyes grow heavy. (Maybe this talk about sleeping is working, after all.)

After a minute, perhaps as Terlin scanned my head and did an examination of the state of my consciousness, he gave a mental nod. (I believe so.)

Before sleep claimed me completely, I heard him say, (Sweet dreams.)