Over the next couple of weeks, things fell into a pattern. We would wake up, attend school, then either basketball practice, homework, a Sharing meeting, or "Sharing meeting"-Terlin's feeding time-in the afternoon. Then, we would arrive home in time for dinner, spend a small amount of time with family before finishing homework. Afterwards, a little TV or homework (if we couldn't do any that afternoon or in study hall), and then bed. Basketball practice was an hour every day except for Fridays, but I had always enjoyed it and knew that I had a talent for it. I didn't think I was good enough to go pro, but I could probably get a scholarship for college if I kept it up. Maybe some Yeerks would have had me quit in order to make more time for The Sharing, but Terlin could see that I enjoyed it, and besides, quitting it after being on the team for a year in high school might have raised some questions.

For obvious reasons, the days that Terlin had to feed were the longest ones. Sharing meetings, like basketball practice, never lasted much more than an hour, but full members often socialized with the auxiliary ones afterwards in an attempt to make them feel welcome. The meetings never took as long as when he had to go to the Yeerk Pool, and I was actually glad when those days fell on a weekend. Especially when we could go early in the morning. Saturday and Sunday mornings were the least crowded, and that meant that the Pool had the fewest amount of involuntary hosts. It was still a hellish pit, but on the old 1-10 scale, maybe a 4 or 5 instead of the usual 9 or 10.

Terlin didn't exactly go at the same time every two and a half days, the way Yeerks with hosts were supposed to. With our schedule, it would be nearly impossible. Officially, every Yeerk had a feeding schedule based on the longest amount of time they could go without feeding and without displaying major signs of hunger. But for kids-which I was in the eyes of the empire-things were less structured. The human Controllers in the Yeerk empire who were in charge of feeding schedules understood that while it was one thing to be a single male or female who was an adult and had a job directly through The Sharing, it was another to be under eighteen and subject to school, curfew, and other family obligations. Maintaining our cover mattered more than adherence to the Kandrona schedule.

They didn't tend to give the same flexibility to parents, which had to be a pain, given that parents didn't have it much easier. Well, I guessed that they could "work late" some nights when they would take a trip to the Yeerk Pool, but still...

(Human schedules complicate things greatly,) Terlin told me when I mentioned this to him after we got back from an afternoon trip to the Pool. We had returned to my room to do homework, and I was sitting at my desk with my math book was laying open, but it was for show only. We had finished all of my homework for the next day during study hall. Still, we had to look like we were hard at work, so I was in control, pretending to be engaged studying, while I was actually talking to Terlin.

He was always in a good mood after he fed. Not that he was normally crabby or anything, but the stress of having to feed soon was gone-for the time being.

(Yeah?) I told him, waiting for Terlin to continue.

He did, sensing my interest. (While it's not exactly relaxing to be the Yeerk controlling a Taxxon or a Hork-Bajir, there's little need to have a cover. Working for the empire is your job, and feeding schedules come with it. Often, humans are always running around, making too many commitments.)

(Well, you haven't starved yet,) I observed, giving him a mental smile. (In fact, you're feeding more often than you have before when you had a Hork-Bajir or Taxxon host.)

(Yes,) Terlin allowed, (and this means the amount of time I'm required to be in the pool is shorter than it would normally be had I needed to adhere to the typical feeding schedule.)

This was news to me, even though, now that I thought about it, I had noticed a variation in the amount of time I tended to spend in the voluntary area. But as it was all new to me, I hadn't yet made the connection between the amount of time Terlin was in the pool and the amount of time it had been since he had last fed.

(Hey, Terlin,) I began. (Explain to me again how this feeding thing works? I know the Kandrona is like your sun...)

Terlin turned to patient teacher mode. He'd tried to tell me about this before, but either he wasn't explaining it in a way that I could understand, or it was so far out of my experience that my brain went to mush after a few minutes.

But, to my credit, I wanted to understand.

(Maybe we should have pretended to be doing your biology homework instead,) Terlin joked, which got a laugh from me. (All right. The atomic structure of the sun served as the basis for all life on the Yeerk home world,) Terlin started, pausing as I tried to focus on each word. (So, every living thing relies on it for survival, but the Yeerk species has a greater dependency on it because it's our only source of nourishment. The pools of water and nutrients on the home planet serve as a way to maintain the nutrients from the sun, but we still need the direct light from the sun in order to survive. We cannot just empty pools of water and nutrients from the home planet and bathe in them without the sun, or an artificial kandrona. With me so far?)

I nodded as I attempted to wrap my head around this. (Yeah.)

(The light from the sun has a regenerative power on our bodies. The minute that we leave the Yeerk Pool or the pools on the home planet, our bodies begin to disintegrate. It takes a full seventy-two hours for this process to complete itself, and we begin to feel the immediate effect of this after about sixty hours. Before then, we feel no pain and no awareness of our bodies breaking apart.)

(So, the lack of Kandrona sort of produces holes in your body?)

(Not literal holes. It's more that the body begins to decompose. Should I continue?)

It didn't seem like a huge distinction to me, but...

(Okay.)

(At the sixty hour point, we reach a sort of turning point where the process was occurring without any physical symptoms, and now they are beginning to occur. This translates to our minds not as the sort of pain you would experience from injuring yourself, but as hunger.)

I gave Terlin a mental nod. (And the hunger acts like a type of warning signal. Danger, danger, your body is starting to decompose.)

(Technically, it's been decomposing from the first minute outside the Pool, but essentially...yes,) Terlin allowed. (So, for the first five hours after this "turning point", as it were, we feel hunger, but it's the sort of hunger that you feel after having eaten lunch and knowing that dinner won't be served for a few hours. While you are in no danger of starving, it is still fairly unpleasant, and may even lead to feelings of weakness or dizziness if you wait to long to eat.)

(Like low blood sugar,) I told him. (Which is especially deadly for diabetics.)

Not that I knew anyone with diabetes, personally, but Rachel had read the Babysitters Club books last year, and she'd talked about them until it became obvious that Jake and I had zero interest in a series about girl babysitters. Anyway, apparently one of the characters had diabetes, and this was a big plot in the series.

Terlin didn't know anything more about diabetes than I did, so he just gave me a mental nod and continued. (The next turning point comes at sixty-five hours. Ideally, a Yeerk should return to the Pool at the sixty hour point, but this is not always possible. The main thing is to make it before the sixty-five hour mark. It's then that the hunger becomes...well, near starvation. The fugue itself doesn't take place until the seventy hour point, but at sixty-five hours, hallucinations can occur and it becomes imperative-for the sake of the Yeerk's performance in the empire, if nothing else-to get them to a Yeerk Pool immediately.)

(So, you're not technically dying at this point, but it feels like you are. Have you ever gone that long?)

I felt Terlin concentrating as he dug through his own memories. I wasn't privy to those, exactly, but I could see glimpses of them as he delved through them. Probably not something that a host would see unless he was on good terms with his Yeerk.

(Sixty one hours and forty-two minutes was the longest I went. It was when I was in my Taxxon host, and we were in combat. The backup fighter had been executed for some sort of incompetence-or at least, his host body-and my trip to the Pool was delayed because of that. The hunger of a Taxxon alone is hard enough to bear, but add in the very beginning stages of Kandrona withdrawal...) Terlin shuddered momentarily.

I cringed. (Sorry for bringing that up.)

I felt Terlin's mind reached out to mine gently. Not quite the equivalent of a hug, but more like an arm around the shoulder. (Don't be. I'm happy to answer any of your questions.) Sensing that he had reassured me, he asked, (Should I continue?)

(Sure.)

(Keep in mind that this is all what I have been told, and not anything that I have experienced or witnessed firsthand,) he told me, and I gave a mental nod. (Now, if a Yeerk is detained from the Kandrona long enough so that it enters the fugue state, or more than sixty-five hours, it can still make a full recovery. However, the longer they are away from the Yeerk Pool during this period, the longer-exponentially-it will take a Yeerk to recover. If I were to be forced into the early states of the fugue state, I would have to spend the better part of the day immersed in the Yeerk Pool waters before I would be fit to infest a host. It wouldn't be safe, otherwise. Even after a full recovery, my infestation process would take twice as long as usual, even with a cooperative host, and if a host rebelled during the feeding cycle immediately afterwards, it would be far harder for me to take full control.)

Which I had never attempted. Partly because there was no reason to do so when he obviously needed to be in control-even though I still hated it and didn't think I'd ever adjust to being helpless during those times-and partly because it wouldn't do anything. Except maybe tick him off. I'd heard that involuntary hosts managed to seize control from their Yeerk, on occasion, but they were exhausted for days afterwards. Even if their Yeerk didn't torture them in order to retaliate-and further break their spirit.

(How much harder is it?) I asked, more out of morbid curiosity than because it was something I wanted to attempt, were Terlin ever placed in this state of near starvation.

Terlin shrugged. (I don't know firsthand, which I am very grateful for. But common knowledge around the Pool says that it's ten times easier for the host. Not that they can take control at will, the way their Yeerk can, but it goes from nearly impossible to very difficult.)

I was quiet for a little while, trying to digest this information. (Are there any scars or stuff like that if you feel a lot of hunger and then go to the Pool?)

(No. All damage becomes eliminated after a weeks' worth of feedings, but a particularly painful method of Kandrona starvation is to allow the fugue to occur over as many cycles as it takes the Yeerk to starve. At each feeding period, the Yeerk will receive less time in the Pool, and the damage to their body will not be allowed to heal. They will enter into a near perpetual state of hunger for a couple of weeks, but I hear that this is downright pleasant compared to the fugue that takes place afterwards. It's a method of execution reserved only for the most dire of offenses. Starvation by withdrawing access to the Kandrona for three days is almost painless in comparison.)

(I hope you never have to go through either,) I told him, meaning it.

In addition to not wanting to hurt sentient beings, I had come to trust Terlin over the last few weeks. Maybe not 100%, not yet, but certainly more than 80%.

His actions towards me had proved that he was serious about wanting some kind of symbiotic relationship. Terlin hadn't hurt me by using my mind or memories against me, and he'd kept his word about protecting my family. We hadn't even had to say a word to Jake about joining The Sharing. I didn't even think he knew that I was a full member, yet. Granted, it was only two weeks since my infestation, so maybe he was still trying to play it safe, but our mind connection was such that even if I couldn't read his thoughts as he could mine, his emotions were a pretty clear indicator as to what he was thinking. Terlin hadn't let me down or betrayed me, and I honestly didn't think he was going to. At this point, I wasn't sure if there WAS anything else that he could do to make me trust him more than he already had.

Anyway, it was hard for me to wish this kind of pain on any of the Yeerks. Well, maybe the really cruel ones who tortured their hosts out of sadistic pleasure.

(Thank you, Tom,) he told me.

We were quiet for a few minutes. I was going to suggest going downstairs, maybe watch some TV or see if Jake wanted to shoot hoops, when Terlin spoke again.

(How would you feel about practicing my taking over now?) He asked me. At the sudden onslaught of fear flooding through me, he added, (Not permanently, Tom. Maybe for fifteen minutes. If that. It would be more of an exercise to help you get accustomed to my "taking" control, as you call it.)

I gnawed on my lower lip. (I don't know,) I told him, honestly.

Terlin sighed. (What if we called it something else?)

(Changing the name doesn't make it any less creepy,) I grumbled.

I felt Terlin sigh again in my head. (I've been asking about it in the Pool,) he began. (There are many voluntary hosts, mostly humans, who suffer fear when their Yeerk is in charge of their body.)

(Can you blame them?) I asked him, pointedly.

(No,) he admitted.

We were quiet for a few minutes.

(It would be easier,) I mused, (if I had something like override power. The way you do when I'm in control. Obviously, you can take over whenever you want, but you're not. I wouldn't mind you being in control if I had something like that.)

Terlin seemed to brighten at this remark. (Loose control, you mean. Or, gentle control.)

(Huh?)

(Loose control, or gentle control, is when I am operating your body, but I am not attached to your nerve centers as strongly as I would be if I were in control. In the case of this type of control, you do have override power, as you put it.)

I felt my mind lighten at this new knowledge, until I realized that even with this form of control, Terlin would still be in charge. He would just be "letting" me "take over" if I wanted to. He had the real "override" power.

Of course, I realized, he always had that. The only time he didn't have the potential to control my body was when he wasn't in my head. And really, wasn't this "loose control/gentle control" idea better than full control?

To complicate things further, or so it felt, Terlin added, (I can't do this when we're with other Controllers, or when we're at the Yeerk Pool. Not this early, anyway.)

(You think I'd rebel?) I asked, disbelievingly.

(No. Not on purpose,) Terlin amended. (But loose control essentially allows the host the same power over their body as they would otherwise have. And in moments of heightened emotion, if you could control your body, you would take control without meaning to. At least, in the beginning. It's too dangerous.)

(What about later on? In a month or so?)

I felt him hesitate before replying. (I really can't make any promises, Tom.)

He didn't say no. Okay, he didn't say yes, but at least he wasn't saying no.

(Okay. Can we try now?)

(All right. Should I take full control, or just partial?)

I considered for a few seconds. (Partial. Something small, like my hands.)

(All right.)

I felt my hands move without me causing them to move. I tried to move my left hand to my face. It worked, but it took a second longer than normal. Or maybe, I hadn't been ready. Still. I breathed out a sigh of relief. Terlin moved my hand back to my chest. I moved it again, this time to my side. It was as easy as if Terlin hadn't been in my head.

(Good job,) he praised.

I gave him a mental smile. (Okay, now the right one.)

My right hand moved in front of my face, until I stopped it, placing it back at my side. This time, it felt effortless.

We tried a few more exercises with my hands, and then Terlin broached the topic of him expanding control.

(Okay, as long as you keep it at this level,) I told him, and he agreed.

We continued to practice for the next half hour or so, and by the end, Terlin had extended "loose control" to my entire body without me freaking out once. Of course, even when he had control of my body in this "setting", as it were, I could still move any part of me at will. Without any more effort than it would have taken had he allowed me to be the one in control.

(You're becoming quite good at this,) Terlin complimented, after handing my back my body. (And your mental state is the same as when you're in control.)

(Well, being able to move on my own helps with the whole "not panicking" factor,) I told him.

(Yes, I know,) he told me. (I hope that your unease about me taking full control, when necessary, will decrease after more time and practice.)

I didn't think it was very likely, but a few hours ago, I would have laughed had someone told me that I'd be okay with this notion of "loose control".

(I'm just glad no one could see us when we were practicing,) I told him. (My parents and Midget would have thought I'd gone crazy.)

Terlin laughed appreciatively at the image. At the joke.

It occurred to me that I didn't mind sharing my mind with him anymore. It was nice to have company in my head. Someone who understood me, someone who I could be myself around. Oh sure, I didn't have to hide a lot of who I was at school, or in front of my friends, but I'd always been someone that doctors would call well adjusted. Normal. Terlin might know all sort of embarrassing things about me that I'd never want to tell my classmates, but he seemed to like me and understand me. All of me.

I guess it was inevitable that we were actually becoming friends.

Things became a little more complicated after the first Yeerk Pool attack.

A/N: Yeah, it's been awhile since I've updated. This story isn't going away, but as you may have noticed if you follow my account, I've been working on an Animorphs series called "The Alliance". The premise of it is that rather than make Aftran become a nothlit at the end of "The Sickness", the Animorphs decide to have her infest Tom and play his old Yeerk, thereby creating an official liaison (and-of course-alliance) with the Yeerk Peace Movement. There are currently two "versions" of the same basic story; the first is called "The Alliance", from Cassie's POV, and the second is called "The Alliance : Tom's Story". The Cassie version is complete, but the Tom one is still in the final editing stages. If you're enjoying this fic, I hope you will take a look at the ones in the "Alliance" series.

Please leave feedback-I can't tell you how much it means to fanfiction writers!