A/N: Eh, so I'm jumping between present and past-tense in the first part of this chapter, as I switch from where they're at now, to reflecting on Rey's realisations following the last chapter, and back to where they're at now again. I hope it's not as confusing for you as it has been for me. (So what I'm saying is, good luck.)

Also, there's Force Bond UST ahead. Finally, I hear ya'll collectively say...

Conversations
Chapter 16

With the Falcon still impaired despite BB-9E's efforts, Rey stiffly agrees to Kylo's plan to tow the freighter to the nearby asteroid field known as Jacen's Belt and "stash it" for safe-keeping. It's a technique similar to what his father employed on more than one occasion during his life as a smuggler, and Rey finds it quietly interesting that some of Han's roguish habits have taken influence upon his son.

Though she definitely won't say that aloud.

Kylo is eager to reprise control of his own ship, in a way that makes Rey mourn the fragile camaraderie they had - temporarily at least - created upon the Falcon. Perhaps it had been foolish to hope something of the old freighter's nostalgic charm would wear through his facade. That the memories of his father would reveal to him who he was truly meant to be.

No. She was the blind one; unwilling to see what he'd tried to show her again and again and again. Ben Solo was never some trapped boy in need of rescuing from a monster's prison. Kylo Ren and Ben Solo had become intangible for too long for one to be separated from the other. It was a truth Rey had awakened to only on the heels of their last argument.

Still, as they now travel to Jacen's Belt in separate crafts like two children in need of time apart, Rey knows that no matter how much she grills herself over her shortcomings, she will make these mistakes again. She will try, again, to turn Kylo from a dark path she knows he need not tread upon.

With that small level of self-awareness in mind, Rey chooses to remain aboard the Falcon for their journey to the asteroid field. Her decision further cemented by a deep-seated distrust in the First Order droid's ability to look after the old freighter without maliciously setting it alight.

Kylo's "gift" of the BB-9E unit is a reference to the joke they'd shared over Han's ill-planned wedding gift for Leia, but as Rey busies herself in the cargo bay preparing the supplies they'll take aboard the shuttle, she finds the ominous presence of the black First Order droid to be unsettling. To say the least.

"Your droid doesn't like me," she mutters aloud when she feels the familiar tug of space and time around her. "And, we really need to arrange a time for these communications. You can't just drop in on me whenever it suits you. What if I were -"

She turns, words failing her as her eyes fall upon Kylo wearing little more than a sleet grey towel around his waist. His hair is wet and plastered to his face so that his ears poke through the ebony strands. The wet Loth-cat look would be enduring, were Rey not mortified by the way her gaze follows those last droplets of water off the ends of his hair to the lazy path they track down his chest.

"Before you say anything," Kylo begins, seemingly oblivious to her gaze as he holds up his hands in entreat, "I'm not the one who opened this line."

"Hands back on the towel!" Embarrassed by the surging heat that floods her cheeks and reaches deep into her belly, Rey turns away; as much to hide her blush as to hide from all that bare, contoured skin. Holy mother of meteors... "I'm beginning to think you do this on purpose."

Kylo snorts, his voice drawing closer, "I was going to say the same thing to you."

In truth, a hundred feet of space and durasteel separate them, yet somehow she feels they share the same breath. Rey swallows hard, her mouth suddenly dry. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Retrieving my clothing." He moves around her to pick up something from a surface she can't see. "Unless you'd prefer I remain in the towel?"

"Right. Yes, of course. I mean, no," fumbling, she tries again to right herself, "I mean, please get dressed."

Back turned, Rey exhales slowly and tries to ignore the sounds of fabric sliding across damp skin. "As I was saying, your droid doesn't like me."

"Why ever would that be?"

Rey bristles at his tone. It's too deadpan. "Mock me all you like, but if that tin can doesn't stop sending me death threats I'm going to dismant-"

"The droid... is sending death threats."

"Well, no. Not literally," Rey turns, relieved in that instant that Kylo's pants are on at least, "I mean, visual death threats."

"Visual death threats."

"Yes! The kind that imply it wants to tazer my face in my sleep. Until I die," she adds lamely, holding her eyes steady on his face. On his face.

"The droid looks at you… in a way that implies it wishes to murder you."

"Uh-huh." Rey replays her words inside her head to try and understand what he isn't getting, and winces. "It sounds crazy, doesn't it?"

"To be honest I'm just trying to visualise what kind of expression a droid might pull…. while plotting murder."

"You're laughing at me, aren't you?"

"No, not at all."

"Yes you are!"

"Yes, I am."

"You're such a…" Rey stops herself. "Fine. It sounds crazy. But you'll believe me when you see me next and my face is on fire!"

"It already is. You've been blushing for the past five minutes." Kylo steps in closer then, startling her as he draws a hand towards her; stopping short of alighting his fingertips to her cheek.

"Don't worry," he says lightly, glancing to her lips before meeting her eyes again, "I'm not even here, remember?"

Kylo may not be physically in the Millennium Falcon's cargo bay, but as Rey's eyes move to map the galaxy of fine moles upon his face, she's wordlessly aware of how close he is. She's aware of the breath that hitches in his throat as he watches her with eyes blown wide. Aware, most of all, of how they can be at their bravest around each other when they're apart.

A frown pinches Kylo's brow and she wonders if he's caught wind of her thoughts. Rocking on her heel, she moves to step away. His thumb grazes upon her cheek, stilling her. She startles at the live-wire shock of the Force bond contact.

"Kylo… " Closing her eyes against a rolling shiver, Rey sucks in a gasp as Kylo's fingertips trace her jawline with such delicate hesitance, it's as if her skin is a manuscript that might turn to dust beneath his touch.

She rocks on her heel, leaning into the touch before she can catch herself. Everything about him is so present. The ghost of his breath across her cheek. The galloping heartbeat she swears she can hear within his chest… When she lifts her gaze, his brown eyes are like twin pools of aching want. And when she reaches out through the Force to brush the surface of his mind, she feels his conflict as her own. The trepidation. The yearning. The hopelessness. The hope...

"Let me go." The words are strained, but Rey holds them fast; her protest a rope she must cling to, to stop herself from drowning.

"I'm not holding you." Kylo breathes, his fingers absently trailing below her jaw, tracing the peek of skin above the high-collared buttons at her throat in a way that blazes a heated trail right through to her stomach. He holds her gaze with an expression caught between fear and need and absolute determination, and she wonders at how conflicted he can be - and how bold he is, when they don't share the same space.

"You know what I mean. We can't do this." Unrelenting, Rey channels her thoughts into recapping their every confrontation, determined to remind him that while they stand on opposite sides of the war, they can never -

"No. I think we can." Kylo's voice is even, but she feels the tremors of his insecurity like threads pulled taut to snapping point. He waits, she realises, for another rejection. But he holds his hand out to her, anyway.

"Kylo, I do want..." She stops herself, catching the fingers that work to drag goosebumps across her throat and holding them firm in her own. "It wouldn't be right..."

"You only say that because you're afraid." Relaxing his fingers in her hand, he begins to pull away. "You only argue with me - about anything - because you're afraid. I get that now -"

An angry whirl from behind Rey precedes a sudden outpouring of angry beeps. Pain blooms in the back of one leg as something slams into her, jolting her forward. Through Kylo.

"What the frack!" Spinning, she finds the stout black BB-unit standing in her place, arc welder at the ready.

There's really no mistaking the death glare this time.

"See!" She calls out, spinning on her heel.

But Kylo has gone.

Within the compact area of his quarters, Kylo rocks backward from the imagined impact of the droid's collision. In an instant, the Force bond is severed and he is left alone, staring with balled fists of frustration at the empty space where Rey had been.

That damned droid.

He breathes deep, seeking to focus himself. Perhaps he can reopen the bond, to check that she's okay; that the astromech hasn't in fact fried her face off. It's a weak excuse. And in truth, he could dock his shuttle to the freighter and physically check on her if his concerns for her welfare held any real weight.

Somehow though, it's easier to face Rey when he doesn't have to actually face Rey. It's easier to reach for her when the space between them is wider than it seems. As if maybe her rejection won't stab him quite so much if there's enough distance between them to slow the thrust.

It's cold comfort, of course. He could see the dismissal forming in the draw of her brow even if she didn't quite know it herself. That rebuff was never going to hurt any less.

Snatching up his long-sleeved undershirt, Kylo presses the black fabric to his face and yells a string of expletives into the soft knit before pulling it over his head. He'll leave Rey to work things out with the droid for herself.

She'd just as likely refuse his help with that, too.

The next time the Force brings them together, Rey is sitting at the Dejarik table, staring blankly at the holographic figures that wait upon the board for her turn. Kylo knows this because he can see the blurred lines of the game and the contours of the surrounding furniture.

"Well, that's interesting.." Kylo steps around her, " I can see your surroundings. Not clearly... Just the edges."

Rey fidgets, plucking at the ridiculous sleeves of Hux's couture jacket. If not for the way she stiffens at his presence, he'd think their Force link has suddenly turned into a one-way hyperlane. "Did you hear what I just said?"

The question stirs her at last, although her eyes skitter away as soon as she casts a glance at him. "Uh-huh. You can see my surroundings. That's going to be a problem when I return to the Resistance."

"Don't return to the Resistance," he shrugs, seating himself opposite her - that being the edge of his bunk, for him.

"Don't return to the First Order," she returns coolly, her full gaze upon him at last.

Inwardly, Kylo groans. He knows that tone. And he knows that look. She's in full-scale damage control - controlling the damage done to the defense shields he dared to breach. It's ironic, he thinks, given how often she accuses him of being the one to put up a facade.

Chewing his lip, Kylo mulls over the best way to course-correct. Pretending that whatever happened between them earlier never happened usually does the trick. "Where's the BB-unit?"

"I thought you just said you can see my surroundings?" Rey moves to switch off the game and leans back in her seat. Arms folded as she stares him down.

"I can. It's not in here." Kylo's eyes dip to study her, noting with curiosity that the buttons that fix the high collar at her throat have been cut loose. The newly exposed hollow of her throat causes his pulse to jump and he shifts uncomfortably as he tries to remember what they're talking about.

A distant series of angry chirps serve as a reminder, drawing his attention towards where he knows the Falcon's cargo bay corridor to be. "Rey… What have you done to the droid?"

"I've locked it in a box," she raises a brow as if announcing a challenge. "You can have it back once I figure out how to reprogram it - or I've dismantled it."

"I feel like deactivation would be far less intrusive, " he begins lightly.

"And I feel venting it through the garbage chute would be better yet," she counters, "that thing is clearly possessed."

"So it's possessed now?" he laughs, relieved to see Rey's own expression lighten. If just for a moment.

"No, of course not. But someone's reprogrammed it, " leaning forward, Rey drops her voice to a whisper as if the droid might hear her from its prison. "Someone in the First Order knows we're together," she fumbles, eyes widening at her insinuation, "I mean, that we're traveling together."

"BB-9E bumped into you, Rey. That's hardly an attempt on your life. If anything, it's probably just working through some jealousy."

"Jealousy? " Rey snorts, "what could that tin can possibly be jealous of?"

Kylo gives her a long look. "Your mechanical know-how, obviously. Perhaps you should try befriending it. Since you're so good at that."

"Actually, I am!" she begins heatedly, "I get along well with most peop-"

"Uh-huh. Sure." Cutting her off with a wave of his hand, Kylo realises he really is beginning to understand why she creates reasons to argue with him every time they start to draw close. She's afraid. Not of him, but of intimacy. He recognises that fear in her just as much as he recognises it in himself. The difference between them is, he knows the solution. He just needs Rey to figure it out too. And maybe absence will be the best way for that to happen.

"I think it's best if we keep our distance until we reach the asteroid belt." He turns his head to one side, hoping to hide the damn eye tic he can feel betraying him. "So if the Force bridges us again, we'll practice something we should have been doing all along."

"And what would that be?" Rey's voice is small. Confused.

"Shutting it down." He sucks in a determined breath before adding, "here, I'll go first."

"Wait, Kylo -"

Rey's response goes unfinished as Kylo closes his eyes, envisions the invisible thread that binds them, and snaps it off. He feels the strange bridge between them close as if a giant withheld breath has been released, and when he opens his eyes to find Rey gone, he lies back upon his bunk in relief.

The scavenger has been getting to his head far more than she should. A part of him wishes he could keep the damned thread severed permanently.

Something sinks through Rey's stomach as Kylo disappears with an inward rush of air and sound. She has no name for it - at least, nothing she wishes to recognise, but as she leans back in her seat, deflated and slouching, it worms its way into her head anyway. Loneliness. Abandonment. Loss.

Turns out there's more than one name for it.

Shut it down, her mind urges, repeating Kylo's last words as she twists her fingers anxiously into her stupid sleeves. Frustrated, she crosses into the crew cabin and pulls out the bundled up parcel of her belongings from beneath her bunk; the rucksack and arm wraps and assortment of clothing that has made up who she is for so many years. They stink of sweat and are crusted with layers of dirt and Jakku sand, but she can't bear the borrowed First Order clothing any longer.

Holding up her dark grey tunic, Rey runs a critical eye over the recent bloodstains before wrinkling her nose at its metallic smell and throwing it to one side. Sinking back on her heels, she presses her lips together in thought before rummaging through her rucksack for a knife. Then, holding taunt one of the ridiculous flared sleeves of the gaberwool jacket, she begins sawing it off at the shoulder seam before moving to the next. With her arms now bare, she winds the old wraps back in place.

Dirty and threadbare they may be, but with so much of her life entangled with Kylo's own - so much of their thoughts and feelings imprinted upon each other in ways so subtle she cannot yet truly comprehend what it all means… The least she can do is try to keep a part of herself in its rightful place.

Down the corridor, the BB-9E unit continues to whistle and screech its protests at being locked in a box. Rey's hand rests on her staff before sliding to clasp Han's blaster. Maybe Kylo's right. Maybe she should try befriending the First Order astromech. And if that fails, she'll vent the damn thing.

Releasing the BB-unit from the box was Rey's first mistake. Trying to befriend it was her second.

As it charges towards her like a rampaging luggabeast, the Force-thrust she uses to throw it back only acts as a mild deterrent. The droid is outraged. And it won't have a bar of anything she tries to say.

"I'm going to kill Kylo for this," she mutters, shoving a freight crate into its path as it makes a renewed attempt to mow her down.

The idle threat proves to be the worst thing Rey could say. With a final squeal of anger, the droid flips open a circular tool bay, extends a small cylinder, and shoots it towards Rey before she can think to counter it. The cylinder bursts open at her feet with a swathe of hazy gas.

Stumbling back, Rey throws a hand over her mouth. "What the -"

But the words go unfinished as she hits the floor.

The next time Rey wakes, Kylo is lifting her from the floor, his grip firm but gentle as he gathers her up. She works her mouth to try and speak, but the words seem to loll around her mouth in the same way her head does as he cradles her to him.

"It's a nerve gas." She hears him say. "Just relax. You won't be able to move for a while."

I told you your droid was trying to kill me, she thinks sluggishly. And then everything slips away.

Chapter Endnote: This was supposed to be written in time for posting alongside Chapter 2 of Enemy, but... The kids reminded me that we're now in May, so I decided to hold off and post it as a May the 4th celebration. Yay.

I hope you made it through the cheesy mills n boon I wrote into this chapter. Alongside all that miscommunication feelings and so on that I seem to enjoy writing so much. And I umm... I purposely tried to end it on a sweet note. Please feel free to comment if you liked or didn't like this latest installment - your feedback feeds my muse! :)