A/N: I have nothing to say about this chapter other than I hope it's at least partially satisfying to all you patient readers. If it's not completely satisfying, well then, that was on purpose. :) I've also been really pushing to get it finished, and any typos are my own and will be fixed as soon as I have time for another reread.
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To Ginny's (and she suspected, Harry's) immense relief, neither that night's Evening Prophet nor the bigger edition the following morning contained a story about Zoya's break-in. Whether Robards had succeeded and keeping her quiet, or the woman simply didn't want to write a story highlighting her own missteps, Ginny didn't know, but it was a pleasant surprise the next morning, to not have that to worry about.
Another pleasant surprise was that Ron made good on his promise to wake up in time to walk with her to the Ministry. He'd finally thrown off the last effects of the potion and was berating himself for being so effected by it in the first place.
"Harry was able to prevent taking off his clothes," Ron grumbled as they walked. He'd brought coffee for the both of them and the steam was so thick it almost obscured his features.
Ginny gave him a sympathetic smile. "Harry only touched the handle of the laundry bin," she pointed out. "And like you said, Zoya had put the most potion on the door knob to your flat. I bet even Harry wouldn't have been immune to that."
"Maybe," said Ron doubtfully. He sighed. "Although, it's probably a good thing he wasn't upstairs. Photos of a naked Harry Potter would have been plastered all over England for months. He'd have hated that."
Ginny snorted. "And you wouldn't?"
Ron shrugged, a little sheepishly. "I don't think my bits are quite as newsworthy. I wouldn't have minded a little attention. I think she got some good ones of Dam though."
"Hmmm," said Ginny. "And Camilla and Bran know this?"
Ron nodded. "They confiscated the camera, but aren't sure if Zoya was able to send any of the pictures away first. I'm actually supposed to be working on tracking that down with Camilla later. For my fieldwork. She asked me last night."
Ginny nodded. "That's great, Ron. She's a really good Auror." Ginny didn't say so, but she liked Camilla Stalk all the better because she seemed fairly disinterested in Harry and what he might be useful for to the Aurors. And she treated Ginny like all the other trainees. This trait alone was enough to make Ginny appreciate her.
"I wonder what your assignment will be," said Ron. He gave her a sidelong glance that Ginny had no trouble interpreting.
"You mean, while the rest of you are off interviewing fan-witches they're going to send me to dig up a new Horcrux or something." She was only half joking.
Ron matched her tone. "Maybe not a Horcrux your first time. A cursed mirror or something, sure."
Ginny leaned into her brother. "I'm glad you're in training with me."
Ron threw his arm around her. "I'm glad too," he said.
Copernicus, Lee, Angelina, and Parvati were already in the training room when Ron and Ginny arrived, which is why she suspected that Gawain did no more than raise his eyebrows at her when she took her seat. No one else said anything, and she relaxed a little bit, happy to avoid being the center of attention for once.
The rest of the class arrived shortly thereafter, and Camilla Stalk bustled in with several other Senior Aurors. She began issuing assignments for their fieldwork in her no-nonsense voice, sending Angelina and Query Plath to a local public school attended by several young Muggleborns.
"They likely don't know they're wizards yet," she cautioned as she handed them a parchment with their exact assignment. "So please use discretion."
Ernie and Lee were going with Bramley Rhodes to visit several shops in Paranorm Alley that were suspected of selling particularly dangerous dark items; the dangerous nature of their assignment warranted the assistance of a full-Auror.
"And Ginny," said Camilla. "You and Ron are . . ." She frowned at parchment list in her hands for a second and then glanced quickly at Robards. They stared at each other for a few seconds and then Camilla cleared her throad. "I mean, Ron is coming with me. We have some . . . sensitive photos to trace. Ginny, you will be going with Gawain to a . . ."
"To a sporting camp for underprivileged magical youth," said Gawain brusquely. "We've had reports of . . . unusual things happening there." He fixed Ginny with a stare. She looked back at him frankly, wondering exactly what it was in her thoughts he was looking for. She forced her mind as blank as possible, and after a minute, her boss looked away. "Not bad, Weasley," she heard him mutter. Ginny felt Ron shuffling next to her, but she carefully did not catch his eye; there was no reason for anyone to know she suspected her assignment was unusual.
The group broke up into their various pairings and groups, and Ginny walked briskly over to the head Auror. "I'm ready, sir," she said firmly. "Anything I need to know before we go?"
Robards shook his head. "They will be others there in charge of the program," he said. "You're just to interact with the children and let me know if you see or hear anything suspicious."
"Suspicious in what way?" asked Ginny. "Are these older kids? The type of gang that admires the former Death Eaters and thinks it's a lark to try to emulate them?" That sort of thing had been a problem almost since the day Harry had banished Voldemort. The romanticizing of something so evil baffled Ginny, but then, so did the decision to follow Voldemort in the first place. Still, they had learned in training that most of the gangs were more bark than bite, and usually not particularly strong magically. She wondered why someone as senior as Robards would bother with such a task.
But he shook his head before grabbing her upper arm. "You'll see," he said, before turning with her on the spot.
The area they appeared in was, in Ginny's opinion, the epitome of "underprivileged". Small, sad looking row houses separated by muddy lanes stretched away from a dirty and trash-filled river. In the distance, the silhouette of a smokestack pointed accusingly into the sky.
"Spinners End," said Robards, pointing at what seemed to be the main road. "There's a field just up the road where the camp is."
The name was vaguely familiar to Ginny, but she couldn't place why. She certainly couldn't remember ever being here before; it seemed like the type of place where the sky was always gray.
"Are there a lot of magical families here?" she finally asked. It seemed a safe, and relevant thing to want to know.
Robards gave her an approving look. "A right few," he said. He pointed to the sluggish river. "Severus grew up just down the road here."
"Snape?" asked Ginny. That might of explained why the name was familiar, but she couldn't really remember ever having talked about where her former Potions teacher grew up. "What a depressing place."
"It is," agreed Robards. "And depressing surroundings breed discontent, and discontent can breed . . . well, we'll see." He didn't say any more, and after another couple minutes of walking, Ginny heard the sounds of excited shouting and youthful voices. They cleared the last row of houses and came out on a rather bedraggled field that had been set up to look like a Quidditch pitch. Ginny could just sense the wards that protected the space from Muggle eyes, where several dozen children in a variety of exercise clothing were doing jumping jacks, following a perky looking woman wearing the replica Arrows' training jersey favored by a lot of fans. She was calling out moves one after the other and the children were huffing and groaning, but all seemed to be trying to keep up as the woman had them jog in place next.
A movement overhead made Ginny look up, but she had to stare for longer that she probably should have to understand what she was seeing.
"Is that . . . ? What . . . why are the Arrows here?" she finally asked. For there was no mistaking the matched brooms and red and blue practice uniforms, not to mention Harry's familiar form, racing Dam and the others across the pitch.
"Oh, didn't I mention it? The Arrows are volunteering their time, helping with the camp. It's excellent publicity."
Ginny knew Robards didn't believe for a second that he'd forgotten to mention this important detail. She wondered if he'd thought she wouldn't come if she'd known. She glanced again at the sky. Or maybe Robards thought that Ginny would have warned Harry? Maybe both, but she'd be damned if she let the man know she was anything but delighted at the arrangement. She looked around the pitch. Now that she was paying attention, she realized that many of the adults were wearing Arrows gear. A few were laying out brooms and moving around crates of balls while others were setting up what seemed to be an obstacle course.
The woman leading the exercises finished her routine, and shot sparks into the air with her wand. Almost immediately, the Arrows began landing, spreading out in pairs on either side of her, facing the children. Now that they weren't moving, Ginny could see that they were young; most didn't even look to be of Hogwarts age. They were all wiggling with excitement, though. Ginny had to smile as she watched them whisper to each other as their eyes darted back and forth at the players standing before them. Harry was watching the kids with an indulgent smile on his face; she even saw him wave in response to one very small girl in the first row. Dam was preening, making the children laugh with his antics and the twins were taking turns doing back flips in place; the entire atmosphere was light-hearted and fun and carried with it not even a hint of evil.
Ginny wasn't sure if Harry knew she was there, but as the Arrows' trainer began dividing the children up and assigning them to different pairs of players, he looked over and saw her, standing next to Robards. There was no mistaking the look of surprise that flashed over his face, but a second later it was gone, replaced by a friendly smile. He said something to Dam, his partner, and pointed at her before jogging over.
"Ginny, hi, I didn't know you'd be here!" Harry's voice was light and open. "And Gawain, it's nice to see you again." Harry's voice wasn't quite as friendly as he spoke to his former boss but it held no animus.
Robards' voice was equally light. "Thought it would be a good opportunity for Miss Weasley here," he said. "All the trainees are in the field today. This should appeal to her athletic nature." He turned to Ginny. "You must miss Quidditch, don't you?"
Swiftly, Ginny parsed his question for any underlying meaning before cautiously nodding. "I do," she finally admitted. "I haven't had much time to fly since I started training."
Robards slapped her on the back. "Well then, you'll have to get up there," he said. "The Arrows brought plenty of brooms and I'm sure Potter here will let you tag along, isn't that right?"
"Of course," said Harry. He raised his eyebrows. "But you said she was here as part of her training? What exactly do you want her to do while she's in the air? For the Aurors, I mean." Harry's voice held only the barest hint of curiosity, but Ginny wasn't fooled. She knew Robards wasn't either. Still, he told Harry what he wanted to know.
"Nothing too complicated; nothing a trainee can't handle. Especially not one as savvy and experienced as Miss Weasley."
Ginny inclined her head at the compliment, unsurprised. After a moment, Robards continued.
"There has been an uptick in dark magical signatures in this area; Miss Weasley merely needs to get to know the children and then keep her ears open. They'll often talk about what's going on at home, even if they don't understand it."
"And you set wards to detect dark magic performed in the area why, because these people are poor?" Harry's voice was measured and calm, but Ginny heard the warning in it. "My mum grew up not far from here. They didn't have a lot of money, but they were good people."
Ginny didn't show her surprise at Harry's revelation, but she suddenly recalled overhearing a conversation between Harry and her brother and Hermione. Harry's mother had known Snape as a child, before coming to Hogwarts. Ginny looked around again with a more critical eye. Harry's mother's sacrifice was almost legend, and Ginny knew she'd been Head Girl in her Seventh Year, plus a member of the Order. Ginny knew better than most that money didn't dictate a person's morals, but she couldn't deny that living here, poor, would have been tougher than her life at the Burrow.
"We set wards here because it's been proven, time and time again, that our search will yield fruit," said Robards firmly. "No other reason." He looked at Ginny. "You'll let me know if you hear anything suspicious?
Ginny was struck by the fact that Robards didn't deny setting detection wards. She wanted to ask if they also had them set in places like Wiltshire, home of Malfoy Manor, but she knew the answer, and it wasn't worth raising her boss' ire over the issue. Detection wards, like Legilimency, weren't illegal, although Ginny was beginning to wonder just how close and often the Aurors got to that line. She nodded. "I will, sir."
It was wonderful to be in the air again. She teamed up with Harry and Dam to work with a group of children who already had some flying experience. They raced back and forth, took them through the obstacle course, and tossed a couple of Quaffles back and forth. The children were boisterous but mostly attentive; once Harry had to chase down a girl who'd started flying too high and Ginny had to remind two boys that "Quaffles aren't Bludgers". Otherwise, they had a great time.
Harry and Dam took their group to the luncheon set up on long tables at one end of the pitch while Ginny took the equipment back to the Arrows staff. Robards came up to her as she wrestled the Quaffle into its box and latched it shut.
"You looked good up there," he said. "You're really a natural."
Ginny smiled. "Thank you. I love to fly."
Robards nodded. "I can tell. Did you ever consider a career in professional Quidditch? Not that we'd want to lose you from the Aurors, of course. But . . . past experiences have made us wary." He glanced down the pitch.
Ginny kept fiddling with the lock on the box while she answered. "No sir, Quidditch has never been more than a . . . hobby for me. And anyway, I'm not good enough to play professionally." She hoped he couldn't hear the lie in his voice. Not even her parents knew about the talks she'd had with the Harpies. It had been fun to fanaticize about, but Ginny hadn't let it get any further than that. She was singular in her determination to be an Auror and that was that.
"You kept up with Potter up there," said Robards. "But like I said, we're glad to have you here instead."
"Thank you," said Ginny. The man was obviously leading up to something. She hadn't learned much about him yet, but she recognized that tough questions always followed compliments.
She was not wrong. "So, what sort of suspicious activities did you witness up there?" he asked bluntly.
Ginny noticed immediately that Robards' question assumed she had something to report. It was with more than a little satisfaction that she could truthfully tell her boss that nothing at all had struck her as off. She even laughed, relating the way two brothers had taken the mickey out of Harry, calling him a tosser for playing for the Arrows. They'd all had a bit of fun at Harry's expense and the youths had taken turns racing Harry to the ground in a modified (safer) version of the Wronski Feint.
But Robards didn't laugh. "Which boys were these?" he asked peering down at where kids and players were now spread out, sitting on blankets to each lunch. He began walking in that direction and Ginny had to almost jog to keep up.
"The ones in green, why?" she asked.
"Harry's too famous, too popular," he said. "These kids, they should be worshipping him." They'd reached the other end of the pitch and Robards stood and surveyed the crowd. "He vanquished Voldemort, which led to the dismantling of the entire network of Death Eaters; he made all our lives muchsafer. Anyone who values light over dark should understand that."
Robards related Harry's accomplishments almost impatiently. In someone else, Ginny might have thought it showed jealousy over the attention Harry got. But now Ginny knew her boss well enough to recognize the impatience in his tone. He had little tolerance for those who didn't eschew Dark Magic at every turn, and it showed in every action. But these kids weren't evil, and Ginny said so. Robards just shook his head.
"I wouldn't be so certain, Miss Weasley. I've seen it before. They came here wearing green - Slytherin's color. And on top of that, the fact that they are disparaging Harry, and to his face, no less, suggests they're mimicking attitudes learned at home.. That isn't as concerning as . . . well, never mind, but it's still something we need to investigate." He pulled small pouch out of his robes. "They trust you. A small sprinkle of this on the ice cream they're about to eat, and I'll be able to ask a few relevant questions. Assess the danger. It will be a good observations opportunity for you."
Ginny stared at him. "You want me to give two little boys truth serum because they've teased Harry about playing for the Arrows?" She didn't bother to keep the incredulity out of her voice. "They're wearing green because they follow Norwich City; if my brother Ron was here, he'd be wearing orange for the Cannons and probably giving Harry an equally hard time; its what Quidditch fans do." She crossed her arms. "I'm not doing it. I know you're my boss, but no. When I was at Hogwarts that Umbridge bitch tried slipping Veritaserum into our tea to learn our secrets, and worse. Harry's still got the scars on his hand, have you seen them?" Ginny had managed to avoid the woman's more sadistic methods of detection, but the twenty minutes she'd spent in Umbridge's office refusing tea had been some of the most uncomfortable moments of her time at school (her entire First Year excepted, of course).
"Now, Ginny, calm down," said Robards. "It's nothing like Veritaserum." He shook the bag. "This is nothing stronger than they type of thing parents use on their own children to discover if they're lying about coming home late or who ate the last piece of pie. I just need to know if there's talk at home about Harry, and what might be said. Then we'll know to keep an extra eye on the family. Nothing more."
Ginny shook her head again. "If you want to keep an eye on the family because they aren't Arrows' fans, that's your business, but I daresay, if not supporting the team Harry Potter plays for is what qualifies someone as possibly harboring dark interests, you'll be keeping an eye on half of England. Anyone who's a true fan wouldn't have switched allegiances just because he joined a particular team. But I'm sorry, sir, I don't see that as justifying further investigation on children." Ginny forced herself not to show her nerves. Disagreeing with her boss like this could get her kicked off the Aurors. But she stood her ground.
Robards opened his mouth to answer, and then suddenly the tense look on his face relaxed. "Maybe you're right," he said. "Maybe I'm being a little too . . . distrustful here." He gave her a small smile. "I don't really follow Quidditch; I don't quite understand these things. It can wait. We can mark down the family for follow up, but only . . . well, we'll keep an eye on them." He made to stow the vial back in his robes.
Ginny couldn't understand Robards abrupt change of position until a familiar voice spoke up behind her.
"She's not so malleable either, is she, Gawain?" Harry came up beside her, a grim smile on his face. Robards nodded.
"Harry. Miss Weasley was just educating me on the common behaviors of Quidditch fans."
"I heard," said Harry. "Ginny's right, you know. There's nothing here of concern."
Robards shook his head. "I wouldn't be so sure. We've had reports . . ." he stopped. "But I can't tell you now, can I? You aren't with the Aurors anymore."
Harry shrugged. "That's right, I'm not. But when I was, you know how I felt about . . . preemptive investigation." He put a hand on Ginny's arm. "She seems to feel the same way."
Ginny didn't exactly understand what Harry was saying, but she kept quiet and watched her boss. He shook his head again. "I respect Miss Weasley's assessment of the matter right now, yes." He was complimenting her again, she noted. "She's seen rather more . . . excitement than a normal trainee has, and always with you, Potter. Interesting." Robards' voice was measured and even; he didn't give anything away. "But despite what she, or you, believe, I happen to understand the position a bit better than either of you. This neighborhood bears more investigation, and I would be derelict in my duties as Head Auror if I didn't follow up." He looked at Ginny. "You'll need more training, of course, but I expect you'll want to continue helping investigate here. I can assure you, we won't base our activities on anyone's preferences for Quidditch teams."
It felt almost as if Robards was asking her to declare her loyalties. Next to her, Ginny felt Harry shift, but he kept quiet.
"If not for Harry's knowledge, I would have been affected by the potion too," she said quietly. "But yes, I'd like to keep investigating Dark Magic. It's why I'm an Auror. And I appreciate your . . . interest in my education." She hoped her statements were equally equivocal to both.
Robards barked a laugh. "Very good, Miss Weasley. He waved her away. "I'll expect a report about what you didn't find here on my desk tomorrow morning." He fixed her with a stare. "As well as a second report about your run-in with Miss Bellows. Which one was it, Zoya?" He shook his head. "I can't keep them all straight."
Ginny didn't believe that for a second, but she nodded. "Yes, sir," she said.
Robards nodded. "Harry here can help you, he was there for both." He inclined his head. "That is, if he doesn't mind doing you a favor."
"I don't mind," said Harry quickly. "If Ginny doesn't."
Ginny shook her head. "I don't mind either." She couldn't help but wondering exactly who'd come out ahead here.
Robards nodded. "Tomorrow morning, then," he said. "I'd better go get my own reports in. See you tomorrow, Miss Weasley." He took two steps and then turned on the spot.
Harry's voice was low in her ear. "Are you okay? I heard what you said to him. Thank you."
Ginny looked at Harry. "What exactly are you thanking me for?"
Harry was quiet for a second, thinking. "I have to finish up here, but then . . . can I come to your flat later?"
Ginny nodded. "It will give me time for a run. And to pick up some food for dinner."
Harry gave her a quick smile. "Perfect."
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Ginny refrained from asking her mum for food; the woman had fed her three times this week and Ginny was beginning, just barely, to feel guilty about it. Not guilty enough to try to cook for herself, but the takeaway she picked up was at least paid for with her own money.
Harry arrived before six, looking as freshly showered as Ginny. He plopped comfortably onto the sofa next to her and took up a plate of food.
"I didn't know your mum was cooking Italian now," he said with a smirk.
Ginny swatted him. "Prat. I'm perfectly capable of . . . ordering in my own dinner."
Harry laughed and they ate cin ompanionable silence for a while. Only when the dishes had been banished to the sink and the leftovers put in the icebox did the conversation begin again.
Ginny was heartened to see that Harry was ready to be rather more open.
"I was all alone, when I worked for the Aurors," he said flatly. "In between helping rebuild Hogwarts, of course." He played with a knitted blanket that hung over the back of the sofa. "I didn't have a training class, or any training at all, so to speak. It was . . . disconcerting to realize that the fact of my killing Voldemort made everyone assume I was ready to handle . . . everything." He looked up at her, eyes wide. "I was barely eighteen; I'd only fought Voldemort because I had no choice, and people expected me to behave like a fully trained Auror." He shook his head. "I spent every free second trying to figure out how not to make a complete bollocks of things." He gave a grim chuckle. "I even spent a lot of time in the library. Hermione was so proud."
Ginny hadn't known any of this. "I assumed, like everyone else I guess, that you knew exactly what you were doing," she said softly. "I'm sorry if I added to the pressure.
Harry smiled at her. "I still annoyed you then, didn't I? I remember. It was kind of refreshing."
Ginny snorted. "I think I called you an arse for coming in late to a family supper and almost knocking me out of the way to sit next to Ron."
"Hey, it meant I got to sit next to you too, didn't it?" Harry sighed. "You saw a little bit today, what their attitudes were and what they wanted me to do."
Ginny frowned. "Interviewing kids?"
"Looking everywhere, and I mean everywhere, for suspicions of dark magic. The other Aurors handled the known Death Eaters, but Robards and Kane and a few others thought that my close connection to Voldemort would make it more likely that I'd be able to uncover dark tendencies in people that weren't so . . . obvious."
"Ohhhh," Ginny let out a breath. It all made more sense now. "Robards thinks the same about me, I think." A sudden clap of thunder outside made her jump. "Looks like the storm is finally here," she said. Her windows rattled as the wind hit them. She pulled down the blanket Harry was fiddling with and covered her lap. "Do you want some too?" she asked. "I'm suddenly cold."
Harry nodded and pulled part of the blanket over himself. He picked up the thread of conversation. "You were possessed by Voldemort too; he thinks that might give you the same special insight." Harry put his hand briefly on hers. "And the reason I didn't tell you before is . . . well, I'm sorry about that. At first, I wasn't sure, and then, I'll admit, I didn't want to think too much about it. You've been handling yourself so well; you didn't need my assistance. I don't want to interfere with your training, and if Robards thought I was . . . well then he might treat you even more differently." Harry sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Not to mention, he might pressure you even more to come back," said Ginny bluntly. "I mean, it's almost comedic how many times you and I have ended up embroiled in something. He must be waiting for an opportunity to really put the pressure on." Outside the wind picked up. Ginny shifted on the sofa, cuddling deeper into the blanket. "I need to have someone look at my windows," she said. "They are kind of drafty."
Harry nodded. "Vincent handles maintenance for the building. He's good." He picked at the blanket. "You're right, of course. I think Robards is waiting for me to want to come back. I can't see that happening. Not now at least. Although . . ." His voice took on an odd timbre as it died away.
Ginny was a little drowsy. "What is it, Harry?" she asked.
Harry opened his mouth, and then closed it again. "It's just . . ." he began. "Umm." He looked down. "Did you realize . . .?" He breathed out. "Hell."
Ginny roused a little bit. She looked at him. "Harry, what's wrong?"
He shook his head. "Nothing's wrong," he mumbled. "But . . . for the last few minutes. You've been . . . holding my hand." He looked her in the eye. "Did you know that?"
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Harry held his breath. He'd almost not said anything, almost just carefully slipped his hand out of Ginny's and hoped she didn't notice. And then they could have gone on as usual, for her at least. But she'd held his hand – unknowingly, it seemed – and Harry wanted to know why.
She was quiet for a second, staring at their twined fingers. And then she gave an embarrassed chuckle and jerked her hand in his. "I'm sorry, I didn't . . ." she began.
Harry grasped her hand tightly and didn't let her pull away. "Wait," he said. He looked Ginny in the face. "Wait. Please. I need to . . . tell you something."
She looked back at him; he could tell she was slightly confused, but apparently willing to play along. "Okay," she said. She gave him a sudden grin. "Is this the kind of discussion we need to have a drink for?"
Harry blew out a breath and gave her a sheepish smile. "Yeah, probably," he said.
Ginny picked up her wand and summoned her bottle of Firewhiskey and two glasses. She didn't say anything while she poured them each a healthy shot, but when she raised her drink, she gave Harry a questioning look. "Uhh, Cheers? Or maybe, here's to late night confessions?"
Her tone was still light and casual; Harry knew she had no idea. She probably thought he was going to tell her something else about the Aurors, or maybe admit he'd kissed one of the Arrows trainers or something. He took a deep breath.
"I think it's 'here's to honesty,'" he said finally.
Ginny gave him a long look. Then she smiled. "Honesty's good," she said. "I know we've talked more in these past months than I think we have in all the years I've known you before, but sometimes I feel that every answer leads to more questions." She twisted on the sofa and put her hand on his knee. "And that's okay," she said earnestly. "I get why you haven't told me everything."
Ginny still thought they were talking about the Aurors. For a minute, Harry considered coming up with a story that matched her expectations. He'd told her some of it earlier, he could expand on that, and she wouldn't know the difference. Two months ago, he would probably have done just that; come up with some Auror-related story and lied. But now, whatever had been of Harry's schoolboy crush had morphed into something that felt a lot more believable. The fantasies he'd constructed for his morning wank had evolved from the unrealistic and fantastic ideals of a teenager –Ginny as a mermaid swimming topless through the lake – to something Harry knew he wanted for real. Just this morning, he'd imagined her sitting crosswise on his bed in nothing but a pair of knickers and one of his oversized practice jerseys. In his mind she'd pulled off her top and pulled him down onto the bed and what they'd done together had made him climax in his hand in seconds, all the while wishing he was collapsing on top of Ginny for a nice long nap.
It was driving him crazy.
He took a deep breath. "This isn't something about the Aurors," he said. "Although, thank you. You're right. I've told you a lot, but not everything. Not yet at least. And I appreciate your patience there." He was still holding his drink. "To honesty," he said, downing it in one gulp. Through the haze of smoke pouring out of his ears and the feeling of warmth seeping into his chest, he heard Ginny echo him. She took a smaller sip out of her own glass, making a slight grimace at the taste. "I'm still not great at drinking this stuff straight," she said.
"I got a lot better once I joined the Arrows," Harry said dryly. He sighed. "Umm, okay. Confession time." He felt heat creeping up his cheeks.
Ginny looked at him curiously. "Is that the alcohol or are you blushing? Harry?"
He blew out a breath. "Probably a little of both." He turned the glass in his hand.
"Do you need another drink before you tell me?" Ginny's voice was softer than before.
Harry forced himself to look at her. She still had her questioning look; Harry could see the little wrinkle that always formed between her eyes when she wasn't quite sure what to think. He had the sudden urge to try to smooth it out with his fingers. "I think maybe we'll both need another drink after I tell you," he said. He had to look down again.
And then Ginny's hand was on his chin, lifting it, and Harry couldn't stop the shudder than ran through him. She noticed, and her eyes opened wide.
"Ohhh," she said softly. She moved her hand down to take his again, and it was a comforting gesture. "Oh." He saw her swallow. "How long?"
Harry wasn't sure whether to be encouraged or mortified that she'd understood so quickly. He blushed for real. "Umm, Fifth Year," he admitted.
Ginny hand jerked in his again. "What?" She straightened up a little and gave him an incredulous look. "My fourth? But . . . I hated you then. That's when you forgot . . . when you said . . . at Grimmauld Place. . ." Her voice trailed away, and Harry knew she was remembering their fight. After the stress of worrying about her father had eased and Harry had confessed to thinking he'd been possessed by Voldemort, his own anxiety had clouded the fact that Ginny had experienced something equally bad, if not worse. They'd fought; at the time Harry's lingering guilt that he'd been responsible for Mr. Weasley's injury and his shame at forgetting about Ginny had led him to being unfairly defensive that she couldn't possibly realize why he was so focused only on himself. She'd shouted that he of all people should understand her, and he'd responded with a comment that still made him cringe all these years later.
"I still can't believe I told you the Chamber was your own fault." He knew he'd never be able to erase the look on Ginny's face after he'd said those words. The rest of the family had left when he and Ginny began to argue; Harry suspected that Molly had understood that this fight needed to happen in private. He hadn't shouted them, but spoken quietly, with venom, and that had made it infinitely worse. He'd apologized the next day, and again after that, and as far as he could tell, she'd never told a soul. Until recently, he didn't think she'd believed him when he told her how sorry he was.
Ginny gave him a slightly exasperated look. "You've apologized for that, Harry. Multiple times, actually." She shook her head. "I just can't believe that in the middle of all that year you decided you . . . what? Fancied me? Had a crush?" She raised her eyebrows. "Fantacized?"
Harry leaned back against the sofa. "All of them, probably." He sat back up quickly. "But the fantasies, they were totally innocent, I swear." He hoped Ginny couldn't see the lie on his face. But Ginny just laughed.
"I have brothers, Harry. I know their minds."
Harry ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, okay." He swallowed. "I don't know why I started feeling . . . I mean, yeah, I knew you hated me, and you had good reason." Ginny opened her mouth to speak and Harry held up his hand. "It's okay, I know we're past that now." He closed his eyes for a second, trying to collect this thoughts.
"I don't know. Maybe at first it was because of a weird feeling of guilt or something, but I don't think so." He looked at her. "You were the only one who didn't tiptoe around me. The only one who pointed out that I was being an arse and didn't back down when I got mad." He shrugged. "I guess that deep down, I liked that about you." He blushed. "Not to mention, you were dating Corner and I happened to see the two of you kissing one day outside the Great Hall. After that I just . . . started thinking about you, I guess. Even though I wasn't sure if you hated me all over again after I almost got you killed at the Department of Mysteries." He ran his hand through his hair. The conversation had run far afield from what he'd wanted to say, about how he felt about her now. Rehashing his teenaged crush made it all sound a bit silly.
Ginny was quiet for a second. "I never actually hated you, Harry. Not really." She shrugged. "Well, maybe I did during that fight, but I got over it pretty quickly. I guess I knew you really didn't mean it." She took a sip of her whiskey, then a second, before continuing. "You irritated the fuck out of me sometimes, but I think we've previously established that that was at least equally my own fault." She shook her head. "Was this a kind of Ron and Hermione thing? That you didn't like me but fancied me at the same time?"
"No, nothing like that," said Harry quickly. "Ron and Hermione, they were . . . and are . . . well, it's different for them. I think they need to disagreements to be able to enjoy each other. You and I . . . I mean, oh hell." He grimaced. "I didn't mean to make it sound like we were already . . . you know." He looked at her. "I think our earlier relationship – whatever it was – was hurt by our misunderstandings."
"That's a nice way to put it," snorted Ginny. Her face softened. "So . . . you still have this crush on me?"
"Well, yeah," said Harry. "And . . . no." At Ginny's questioning look he hurried to explain. "It's not the same as it was before. Not at all." He leaned forward and poured himself another shot of whiskey.
Ginny quickly drained her glass and held it out. "Me too, please. A double, I think."
Harry couldn't tell from her voice what she was thinking. He poured them both Firewhiskey and they drank in silence for a couple of minutes. Harry was glad they were in her flat and not his. The wards would give them privacy for as long as they needed and he didn't have to worry about Ron coming home in the middle of their talk. He shifted on the sofa, not sure where to be. They'd been leaning up against the same pillow when this all started, and during the intervening time they had turned too look at each other and moved for the whiskey, but neither had made a purposeful attempt to separate from the other. But he couldn't see Ginny clearly without twisting his head, and it was very important to Harry that he be able to see her and her expressions. He was pretty sure he'd be able to tell, if not exactly what she was thinking, at least if she was bothered or angered, or whatever. Without stopping to think he turned his entire body sideways and scrunched one leg underneath him. The other was on the floor.
Almost immediately, Ginny mimicked Harry's movement, turning so that she was facing him, the side of her body still resting against the same pillow. She took another drink, and then nodded. "Okay then," she said. "You were saying that you don't still fancy me?" Her voice was light and curious, as if she was half expecting Harry to admit that no, he had once had a crush but certainly didn't anymore, and wasn't that something funny to laugh about now that they were friends?
"I still fancy you," he said quietly. "Just . . . not in the same way." He forced himself not to look away. "It hasn't been the same way since, well, since that first night we finally talked. After you attacked that reporter at the press conference." He gave her a point look. "After you kissed Dam."
"When we talked about our experiences, and why you irritated me so much." said Ginny.
Harry nodded. There was no going back now, he supposed. No matter what Ginny thought of him after this talk, at least he'd know that he'd been honest with her. He touched her hand. "I'm not a teenager anymore," he said. "The feelings are . . . quite different." He huffed his breath. "I'm not very good at this."
"And I'm not going to make it any easier for you," said Ginny. Her voice was serious but Harry could see the smile behind her eyes. He nodded. "And you shouldn't. I know I've rather . . . sprung this on you. Although," he continued, giving her a small grin. "You were the one who decided to hold my hand. What exactly was that about?"
Ginny made a face. "I'm . . . not sure?" she said hesitantly. She sat up straighter on the sofa. "Finish what you were going to tell me and then we can talk about that."
Her words warmed Harry more than the Firewhiskey. All of a sudden, it was the two of them, again together. It felt like the other talks they'd had these past months, when they'd admitted to each other they were virgins or when Harry had told her the truth about the Chamber. He could do this. He just wasn't sure how.
A soft touch made him look up. "You've become one of my best friends, Harry." Ginny's voice was soft. "And maybe I should be surprised that it happened so quickly, but I guess it goes to show that I was never really as irritated with you as I thought, all those years."
Harry found his voice. "I . . . I feel the same way," he said. "But, it's more too."
Ginny nodded. "I know," she said. "I can see it now." She shook her head. "I can't believe I didn't guess earlier. I'm usually really good at figuring out when one of my brothers' fancies a witch."
"I'm not one of your brothers." Harry felt that it needed to be pointed out.
Ginny understood immediately. "That's right, you're not." She cocked her head at him. "It's different then, isn't it?"
"For me it is," said Harry thickly. He knew he had to ask the question. "What about for you?"
Ginny was silent for so long Harry was pretty sure he was about to be let down as easily as she could. Finally she shook her head. "I'm . . . I'm not sure," she said in a small voice. "I didn't even realize I was holding your hand; I just knew I was really comfortable and content and happy." She looked at him. "But I don't know what that means. I mean, I just found out a couple of minutes ago about what you think."
Harry nodded. "That's fair," he said. "And if you never . . ."
"I just don't know," Ginny interrupted quickly. She looked at him, and Harry could see the honesty in her eyes. "Yet," she said. "I don't know yet. I don't want to . . . make any promises, or anything. Until I have a chance to think." She looked down, and Harry could see her hands twisting around the blanket. He touched her arm. "Hey."
"I . . . just don't want . . ." she took a deep breath and looked at him. "I guess no matter what, our friendship's going to be different for a while."
"I'm sorry, Ginny. I didn't mean to . . ."
She shook her head. "No, it's okay. I mean, it hasn't been fair to you, has it? All this time?" She gave him a small smile. "You did a good job of hiding it."
Harry grimaced. "I felt as obvious as a Bludger sometimes," he said. "Like my jealousy when you kissed Dam."
Ginny gave a small snort. "That was jealousy? I'd assumed it was you being an overprotective git."
Harry snorted back. "That too," he said. He felt the small knot of tension in his belly ease. He still didn't know exactly what else to say though. "So, umm, okay then," he finally said. "Maybe I should . . ." he gestured towards the door. "Give you some time to think." He half hoped she'd say no, that she'd ask him to stay so that she could figure things out with him there. That was totally unrealistic, of course. He was secretly proud that he understood that this revelation was going to take her some time to absorb, and that she'd not rush into anything. He had to give her space.
Ginny nodded. "I think that's best," she said. She put her hand on his arm again, and this time, his shiver made her smile wryly. "You've got it bad, Potter," she said lightly.
He nodded, relieved to see that she was trying to keep this completely un-normal experience as natural between them as possible. "I do," he admitted. "But it's not just physical. I swear."
Ginny nodded. "I know that," she said. "And I want things to be normal between us. As normal as possible anyway."
"Thank you," said Harry. "And we won't tell Ron, will we?"
"Merlin no," said Ginny. She shuddered. "Can you imagine how annoying he'd be?"
Harry grinned. "Okay then," he said. He stood up. "I guess I'll, umm, see you soon? After our road trip I guess."
Ginny nodded. "Sounds good." She walked with him to the door. "And Harry? Thank you. For letting me know." Her smile was genuine.
Harry smiled back. "I'm glad I finally did."