Deserving Me
AU: What if Elena didn't forget her encounter with Damon 2x08? How would this change things, and will it give her a new perspective on him? Cannon universe until after the encounter.
Chapter 2: I am That Selfish
I woke up in my bed late at night, but when I sat up, my door was slightly cracked open. I didn't remember leaving the door like that, however I just assumed that Aunt Jenna opened the door to check up on me before she went to bed. I turned onto my side and close my eyes, hoping that I might be able to fall asleep again. A sharp noise jolts me awake and I look at the door once again… no one's there. I get up cautiously and move my way to the door. I push it farther open and peer my head around the corner. Seeing nothing, I continue my movements and head down the upstairs hallway, just to make sure. I hear a soft clink behind me and I turn around in a gasp, only to find Rick… shirtless… with a bowl of ice cream? What is going on?
"Elena." He says awkwardly, and I straighten up trying to clear my mind from everything that was going on. 'Well this is awkward.' I thought to myself. I couldn't even form a sentence while in this situation.
"I heard something." I say and he laughs awkwardly, then Aunt Jenna joins his side.
"That was us." She says, and I don't even know what to say. This situation just got too awkward Jenna and my teacher are… I don't even want to think about it. "I'm sorry." She adds and I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose.
"We didn't think anyone else was up." Rick says, trying his best to explain himself. I could feel a blush of embarrassment forming on my face the more I thought about it, and I try to clear all thoughts from my mind in order to preserve my sanity.
"But yet here you are, and here I am, in my underwear." Jenna chips in, which only makes me more embarrassed. Good luck clearing my head of all thoughts now...
"We were just… hanging out…" He says, before sighing. "Chunky Monkey?" He offers, holding out his bowl towards me. Really? That's all he can say after being caught in this situation?
"I'm… not hungry… at all." I say, a little harsher than I intended to. I suppose I'm just tired from being woken up at such a late time, and now I was looking for any way to get me out of this conversation.
"Well… I'm naked… so I'm gonna go." Rick says awkwardly before moving passes me. Phew… he evaded the conversation so that I didn't have to. I feel my body ease slightly in relief.
I begin walking towards my room, but then I hear Aunt Jenna say, "I'm really, really sorry."
"It's okay… don't worry about it." I reply reassuringly. It really wasn't a problem. I didn't mind Aunt Jenna being with Rick. They seemed happy enough, and it's not my pace to stop them.
"I know he's been staying over a lot, are you- are you sure it's okay?" She asks nervously. I'm a bit curious as to why she thinks that she needs my permission. There's nothing wrong with it, just as long as I'm not woken up anymore.
"Seems like things are good." I say with a shrug. Honestly, I haven't seen Jenna this happy in awhile, and I'm happy for them.
"They're extremely good." She replies with a big smile and I let out a small laugh at her expression.
"Then I'm extremely okay with it." I reply giving her a wide eyed look. We head back to our rooms and I headed back to bed in order to fall asleep again. I nestle myself snuggle within the sheets and drift off back into slumber.
(This scene was to have Luka steal something of Elena's, and to be true to the plot, I figured that I had to include all scenes from this episode. Also I try to get all the dialogue correct and make the internal dialogue believable.)
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When I woke up, I spent some time in the morning thinking over everything that I had to do today. Then it hits me. I remember Stefan talking about a guy named, Slater who had a lot of info about Klaus and the curse. Perhaps I could see if Slater could contact somebody in order to give myself up without hurting anyone that I care about. I just have to figure out how to contact him. Then it hits me. I had to go talk to Rose today. I get up from bed and change into my clothes, do my makeup, and get ready to head out. When I'm about to leave I hear a knock at the door and groan. I open the door to see Stefan standing there.
"Hey… can we talk?" He asks, and I internally cringe inside. I guess I'll have to wait a little longer until I can continue my plans.
"Why?" I ask confusedly. What did he even need to talk about?
"We went to see, Katherine." Damon says, and it's only then that I realize that he's standing right beside Stefan. I feel my breathing hitch a bit, in the way that it has been since the confession. Then, I realize what he's said. They went to see Katherine… well this is just wonderful…
"Come on in." I tell them both with a sigh. I knew that I had to hear what they wanted to talk about, and it might be better than my current plan. I usher them over to the kitchen where we could talk privately. "Okay… so what happened with Katherine?" I asked curiously.
Stefan and Damon exchange glances before Stefan says, "Basically, Katherine took back what she said about not wanting to leave the tomb-"
Damon then interrupts saying,"So, that bitch said that she'd give us the stone, and in return we'd allow her to leave the tomb-"
"But, she also said that she's leaving town for good if we let her out of the tomb." Stefan adds and I sigh.
"You don't believe her, do you?" I ask with my brows furrowed. Stefan was the one who initially told me that Katherine couldn't be trusted, so why would they believe anything that she says now?
"No, of course not. We just want the moonstone." Damon says while tossing an orange back and forth between his hands. It makes me wonder how he can be so calm after his confession, because I can't think straight after everything.
Stefan's voice snaps me from my thoughts, "According to Rose's friend, Slater, there's a way to destroy the spell that Klaus wants to break." That get's my attention. What spell could break the curse, and how would we even find it?
"No spell, no doppelganger sacrifice… ergo, you live." Damon adds, putting me right back out of it again. Great, how am I supposed to focus when all I can think about was the words Damon said to me two nights ago?
"How do we destroy it?" I ask with my arms folded, trying to sound as collected and put together as possible. I can't have Damon know that I heard his confession. I can't have him distracted.
"By releasing it from the moonstone" Stefan says leaning over the counter top. I think about it for a second before my mind goes back to it's previous mind set.
"How do you guys even know this is gonna work?" I sigh, plopping my arms back to my sides and taking a step forward towards them.
"Cause we have a crafty witch on our side." Damon says, which doesn't do much to relieve any of my worry.
You discussed it with Bonnie." I say glancing downward. I can't have Bonnie caught up in this too. I know how much she'll do to protect me, and I don't want any more people getting hurt because of me.
"She agreed to do anything she could to help us." Stefan says trying to ease my concern, but I can't stop my thoughts from being carried to the worse case scenarios.
"It's Katherine who has the moonstone. She's not gonna give it to you." I reply defiantly.
"We're gonna get it from her." Stefan says before getting cut off.
"What he means to say is that we will pry it from her cold, dead hand if we have to." Damon says and I take a seat at the island stool.
"Bonnie just needs to find a way to release the seal long enough for us to get in, get the moonstone and get out in time for her to return it." Stefan says and I sigh.
"Wow. I mean it sounds like you guys already have it all planned out." I say.
"Yep, we're awesome." Damon says, which makes me want to roll my eyes at his comment.
"Except for one thing… I don't want you to do it." I sigh, and both Stefan and Damon look confused at what I've just said.
"What are you talking about? Elena, we don't have a choice." Stefan says with his brows knitted together in confusion.
"What about Klaus?" I add, saying what has been on my mind throughout this entire conversation. What can we do to stop Klaus from getting revenge. I can't have him hurt my loved ones.
"We'll find him, but after we get the moonstone." Stefan tries to explain to me. Do they really believe that they can hunt down an original? Not only an original, but the oldest vampire in the history of time?!
"Is that before or after he kills everyone that I care about, including the two of you?" I retaliate, stubbornly.
"Elena, if we can de-spell the moonstone," Stefan says. I was looking at Damon, while Stefan was talking, and he was staring back with disbelieving eyes. Why does he expect me to be okay with putting everyone that I love in danger? Then my gaze shifts back over to Stefan. "We can save your life." Stefan adds.
"I know… everybody keeps saying that." I say, sightly frustrated before getting up and leaving. My mind can't handle this conversation right now, especially when all that they're worried about is me. Also, with what I plan to do, it really makes me confused, however I'm not backing away from my plan. It has to happen. I sit in my room and wait for both Stefan and Damon to leave, which luckily for me, doesn't take too much time. When I'm sure that they're far away, I head over to their house. Once I reach the door, I open it and make my way inside.
"It's not nice to leave a girl naked so early in the morning." I hear Rose say and I turn my head to see Rose in a robe. She was tying the robe and once she sees me, all she says is, "Woa… sorry I thought you were…" She draws and I feel something weird form in the pit of my stomach. Damon. She thought I was Damon.
"I, uh, sorry, I…" I sutter nervously. Why do I always have to be at the wrong place at the wrong time? First Aunt Jenna and Rick, now Rose? God, kill me.
"There is no one else here." She says, assuming that I was here for Stefan or Damon.
"Actually, I came to talk to you." I reply shyly.
"Then I should probably get dressed." She says and I nod. I wait for her in the living room until she gets downstairs. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?" She asks, leaning over one of the chairs.
"Stefan once told me about your friend, Slater, and all of the intell he had for him earlier, so I figured that maybe you could take me over to where he lives and I could gather some more intel." I explain and she scoffs at my plan.
"It's a bad idea."
"No, it's not." I retaliate. "From what Stefan told me, your friend, Slater, obviously has more information about Klaus… and you and Damon just gave up before you got it." The last part was a personal jeer, but I didn't care.
"Because somebody blew up a coffee shop with us in it." Rose says, but my expression doesn't waver.
"There's more to learn… we just have to find a way to learn it."
"Why are you coming to me with this?"
"Because you owe word from me, and Damon and Stefan could've killed you for kidnapping me."
"Or maybe it's because you know that they wouldn't want you doing this… and their moonstone caper gives you a chance to sneak away."
"We're having a disagreement, okay? They're willing to risk everyone that I love and I'm not." I admit to her, trying to make her understand where I'm coming from so that she'll follow through with my request.
"They're trying to protect you."
"And you've proven that you couldn't care less whether I'm protected or not… so we're back to you taking me to Slater." I say and Rose comes and sits down next to me.
"What exactly do you hope to achieve by this?"
"How would you like to be able to walk during the daylight?" I ask her and her expression changes.
"I've been a slave to the shadows for over 500 years, what do you think?" Perfect, I've gotten her attention. Maybe now she'll reconsider.
"I think… I've got a witch who's willing to do whatever it takes to help, if you're willing to make a deal." I say and her expression is one of shock.
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Let's just say that offering her to get a daylight ring was more than enough to convince her to take me to Slater's apartment, and the next thing I knew I was walking up the stairs to his apartment, led by Rose. Once we reach the door I gesture for Rose to know on the door, and hesitantly she knocks on it.
"Slater!" She calls out, "Slater, it's Rose, open up!" She adds, but there's no response. "He's not here, sorry." Rose says, more than willing to head back, but I'm not going to give up so easily.
"No, we didn't come all the way out here for nothing." I say and then gesture for her to open the door. She sighs before eventually opening it with one push.
"After you." She says and I walk inside, glancing around at the surroundings. "Slater?" I hear Rose ask, while walking past me. I'm still looking around at the apartment when I hear Rose added, "I don't think he's going to be much help." Her expression says it all. No. I ran over to where she's at and I look in the direction that she is to validate what she just stumbled upon. Damn it. I see Slater's mangled up dead body on the floor. After a little bit, Rose drags his body out, and I run a hand through my hair in a frustrated gesture. Once I've regained my composure I head over to his desk and pick up some papers beside his computer.
While I'm looking through the papers I say, "Looks like whoever blew up the coffee shop, found him and killed him for information."
"Yeah, probably to stop him from helping people like us… the guy was a vampire almonac… knowing too much information just bit him in the ass." Rose replies as I was continuing my search through the papers in an attempt to find something useful. Rose then walks over to the curtains and begins to pull them apart.
"What are you-"
"Tempered glass… U.V. rays can't penetrate." She explains and I sigh. I thought for a second that she might've wanted to kill herself, luckily that wasn't the case. "I used to come here all the time and watch the day." She adds and I feel a pang of sympathy hit my chest as I held a picture of Rose and Slater smiling in a photo together. I never really thought about if she cared for Slater.
"I'm sorry about Slater." I say, honestly. I didn't know if she needed consoling or not, since she guards her emotions well.
She just turns to me and asks, "Any luck?"
"Um…" I start before turning on the computer. "It's password protected. I can't get in." I finish, glancing at the lock screen.
"No this is fine. Let's just go." Rose says, but we hear the doorknob rattles. "Stay here." She tells me warningly as she approaches. When she opens the door her eyes go wide and she asks, "Alice?" I see a crying woman in a dress run up and hug Rose tightly.
"He's dead!" She cries in agony, continuing to cling onto Rose. I get a bit of information about the girl from Rose. Apparently, Slater was her boyfriend, so I felt bad for her. Wanting to help, I went over to the kitchen and began to make some tea for her. While I'm pouring it, I hear Rose come up from behind me.
"She found him a few minutes before we did." She informs me, getting into my view.
"How is she?" I ask, concerned. I would be broken if I saw Stefan dead, so I couldn't help but feel bad for her.
"Overreacting… big time." Rose says and my brows furrow at her statement.
"Her boyfriend just died, there's no such thing as overreacting." I scold her.
"Those tears are for her. She didn't care about Slater. She was only dating him long enough to see if he'd turn her." Rose informs me and I sigh. I can't understand why anyone would even seek out to be a vampire. I take a cup of tea and walk over to Alice. I hand her it and she looks at me weirdly.
"Thank you… you look familiar. Did you know, Slater?" She asks me curiously.
"Not personally, no." I tell her, "I just knew that he kept detailed records with all of his vampire contacts, and I was hoping that he could point me towards, Klaus." I tell her, just to see if she has any information on the matter.
"Doubtful… Klaus doesn't want to be pointed out."
"Do you know Slater's computer password?" I ask.
"Are you seriously asking me that right now? I just saw my boyfriend with a stake through his heart." She spits at me.
"I understand that… do you know his password?" I pry once more.
"Who do you think you are?" She asks before drinking the tea.I Look up at Rose and then turn my attention back to Alice.
"What if I could convince Rose to turn you?" I ask and Alice's expression changed to one of intrigue. "Will you show us his files then?" She nods before signing into his computer.
"His hard drive's completely wiped out." Alice says.
"Yeah, probably whoever killed him." Rose chides in.
"Luckily for you, Slater was paranoid… everything's backed up on our remote server." Alice says before typing on the computer again.
Rose leans close to me and whispers, "You know she's not going anywhere near my blood, right?"
"I know, she doesn't." I reply in a whisper.
"Kristian Stewart? God was he obvious." Alice says referring to the file name where he backed up everything. I could practically hear her eyes rolling from where I was standing. Did she seriously not love Slater at all?
I see her scrolling through a giant list of names and my eyes widen. "These are all links to vampires?" I ask shocked at the sheer number of names and contacts he had.
"Slater was obsessed. Almost as much as me." She replies with a shrug.
"What about that one." Rose says, "Kody Webber. We exchanged dozens of emails about Elijah."
"I could call him." Alice replies once she has looked through everything in his individual file.
"Tell him that we're trying to send a message to Klaus, 'The doppelganger is alive, and she's ready to surrender'." I say to her.
"What?" Rose asks, shocked at what I've just said.
"Oh my god, I knew I recognized you!" Alice says in awe.
"Get him the message, please." I tell her before walking away.
"What are you doing?" I hear Rose ask from behind me.
"I'm getting Klaus' attention."
"If Klaus knows that you're alive, he'll find you and he'll kill you." Rose says before finally realizing. "Which is exactly what you wanted all along."
"It's either me or my family."
"So this whole charade was a suicide mission, so you could sacrafice yoursel and save everyone else?" Rose asks in disbelief. The soft patter of heels takes my attention off Rose and towards Alice.
"Cody is on his way and he really wants to meet you." She says. Rose gives me a look, but I don't think much of it and I wait for Cody to come. I'm currently drinking water, and when I turn around there's someone there, and I gasped.
"What are you doing here?" I hear him say, and I realize that it's Damon standing right in front of me.
"What are you doing here?" I ask back, shocked. I turn to look at Rose and ask, "You called him?"
"I'm sorry, Elena."
"You said you understood."
"She lied." Damon says and I turn back toward him.
"Damon Salvatore." Alice says in awe, walking towards us.
"Get rid of her." He says to Rose, and she begins to take her away.
"No… way…" Alice says and Rose takes her to another room.
"Come on, we're leaving." He says to me.
"No." I reply, stubbornly.
"I said, we're leaving." He says, more insistently while getting closer.
"I'm not going with you."
"You don't get to make decisions anymore." He tells me, and I can tell that he's getting angrier. So was I.
"When have I ever made a decision. You and Stefan do that for me, now this, this is my decision." I tell him, trying to make him understand.
"Who's going to save you life while you're out making decisions?" He asks me.
"You're not listening, Damon. I don't want to be saved. Not if it means that Klaus if going to kill every single person that I love."
"Get your ass out the door before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out myself." He says and I glare at him. He grabs my arm, but I plant my feet.
"No." I grunt out. Want to punch him so bad, but something stops me. I can't hit someone who cares about me, something about that action felt so wrong. I close my eyes and sigh before placing my hand on his chest. "Damon, I can't just allow everyone that I love get hurt because of me, and I need you to understand that this is what I want." I plead with him.
"Well guess what, Elena. I don't care if it's what you want, because you are not going to die. Not because you want to, but because I am that selfish." He retaliates and I feel anger boiling in me once more.
"I thought that you wouldn't be selfish with me, Damon." I say without thinking and I immediately regret it. His gaze changes to one of confusion? Suspicion? Somewhere in between? I don't know, but what I knew for certain was that I shouldn't have said that. Although, just as soon as the expression etched across his face, it leaves just as quickly. Phew. He didn't look too much into it.
"Damon, Alice is currently in the bedroom. She becoming antsy over being turned. I need your help." Rose says after coming out of the bedroom. For the first time, Damon's gaze shifts from me.
"Fine, but after this we are leaving." He says sternly before following Rose in the bedroom. Sighing, I take a seat on the couch. I nearly blew my cover about knowing about his confession. I'm not ready to confront him about it, and I don't want to ruin this... kinda friendship. Soon Rose comes out of the room and takes a seat next to me.
"What's going on?" I ask her curiously.
"Nothing, Damon's just taking care of everything." She replies and I feel panic rise within me.
"He's not about to turn her, is he?" I ask seriously.
"Of course not, he's just finishing the compulsion." Rose replies and I relax once more. I softly tap my fingers on the leather couch as I wait for Damon to emerge from the room. I felt disappointed that I had no chance of completing my plan. The only thing that I could hope for, is that Cody shows up before Damon and I leave. Soon enough, the bedroom door opens and Damon walks out.
"Time to go. Alice is soundly sleeping and wont remember a moment of this horribly, stupid day." Damon says, but just as he finishes speaking the door opens and 3 guys, presumably vampires walk in. I feel my heart jump as I see them. I still have a chance! I get up instantly.
"We're here to meet the doppelganger." One of them says, and I can only assume that it's Cody.
"Thank you for coming." I say stepping forward, but Damon stops me from going further.
"I will break your arm." He says before returning his attention on Cody and his friends. "There's nothing here for you." He adds warningly to Cody. Just then I hear a swift crack and the guy at the back fall down dead. The worst part is that Elijah stands right behind him. We all are wide eyed in shock as he vamp speed's over to Cody and his friend. He glances between all of us, and Rose takes this as an opportunity to leave, and she speeds off. Elijah then looks at me and I feel anxious under his gaze.
"I killed you. You were dead." Damon says confusedly.
"For centuries now." He replies snarkily in his familiar british accent. "Who are you?" He asks Cody.
"Who are you?" He fires back, roughly.
"I'm Elijah." He replies and I see Cody's eyes widen.
"We were gonna bring her… for Klaus. She's the doppelganger. I don't know how she exists, but she does… Klaus would want to see her." Cody explains to him and Elijah's expression doesn't change.
"Does anyone else know that you're here?" He asks, looking directly at me, but the question was targeted towards Cody.
"No." He replies.
Then, Elijah's gaze is off me and is now alternating between the two guys next to him. "Well then you have been, very helpful." He says right before ripping out their hearts and tossing them to the ground like it was nothing. Damon takes another step in front of me in a defensive stance, however Elijah just leaves. Damon glances to me with a confused expression and I'm just as confused, if not more.
"What just happened?" I ask, my brows knitted together in confusion.
"Believe me, I have no idea." Damon replies sounding just as confused. "Anyways, it's time for you to get home." Damon replies grabbing my arm and I pulled it out of him grasp.
"I can walk to the car myself. It's not like I can run away from you." I say frustratedly. I was mad at him for spoiling my plans, and being robbed of an opportunity to save my family. He just nods, and we walk silently over to his Camero. I get into the passenger's seat, and for the first half of the drive Damon and I don't talk at all, although I can feel his gaze on me.
"Are you alright?" Damon asked, breaking the silence. I'm almost shocked by the amount of concern in his voice.
"I'm fine." I replied softly. Any normal human wouldn't of heard it, but I knew Damon could, thanks to his enhanced hearing.
"You could've gotten hurt, and if that were to happen, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. You realize that, don't you?" He asks me seriously and I turn to look at him. He's also looking at me and his eyes are sincere.
"I'm sorry that you feel that way. It wasn't my intention to hurt you, but I'm not sorry for what I did." I reply and I hear Damon sigh.
"What about your family, what about how they would feel?"
"Hurt is better than dead." I reply, and Damon's now pulling into my driveway. We walk out of the car and I sigh. "Thank you for bringing me home." I add as we walk up the porch steps.
"Well, your ride left you and I didn't want to leave you stranded." He says before we reach the door.
Before I knock I say, "She was just scared… she didn't mean to run."
"Yes, she did. She's been running for 500 years."
"I can't believe Elijah's alive. Why do you think he killed those two vampires and just… let us go?" I ask, confused.
"If I had a dollar for every time some evil vampire surprises me." He replied and I just sigh. I step forward to go to the door, but Damon grabs my arm "What you did today was incredibly stupid." He scolded me.
"Actually the only thing that was stupid is that I got caught." I say slightly leaning forwards, before pulling away from him. "I don't question why you and Stefan and everyone else tries so hard to save me. You shouldn't question why I would try to save all of you." I add sternly. The door open and I whisper, "Damon, goodnight, okay?" We then both turned to see Jeremy standing in the doorway.
"What?" Damon asks him.
"Stefan...while I was retrieving the moonstone I got caught by Katherine, and Stefan went inside to save me." He says and my eyes widen.
"No." I say before covering my mouth. I then ran inside and get my keys from the counter. As I'm speeding past them I hear Damon.
"Elena, wait." He says, but I just continue moving and head inside my car before speeding over to the cave. As soon as I park my car I practically leap out of it and sprint through the forest until I finally find the cave. As I'm running up to it I call out to Stefan.
"Stefan. Stefan!" It's urgent cries, and I hope that he'll answer me. "STEFAN!" I scream before I'm thrown against the wall. I look up to see Damon pinning me to it.
"Don't you dare." He warns me dangerously.
"Stefan's in there, Damon, how could you let this happen?" She asks me angrily.
"What are you talking about? I was too busy saving you from your crazy kamikaze mission."
"You didn't even have to go after the moonstone in the first place."
"It was the right call." Right call? That statement alone made my blood boil.
"Right call?! How is any of this the right call?! Damon let go of me! Damon let go of me! Let go of me! Let go of me… please." I yell and by the end of it, I'm panting.
"You done?' He asks and I catch my breath, he then let's go and after a second I attempt to move past him, but he holds a finger up and moves in my way. Angrily, I leave the cave.I'm tempted to turn back and try all night to get in, but I know that there's no going past Damon. At least not tonight. I'll try tomorrow though for sure, even if it takes everything I've got.
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(Damon's POV:)
After leaving the cave I had to make sure that Elena stayed in bed all night. After all, I did just promise Stefan that I'd keep her away and safe. I now found myself in the tree next to her window. I watch as Elena wrote in her diary and snuggled in her covers. It took about ten minutes before her heartbeat signified that she was asleep. I was contemplating whether to check or not. After that comment she said earlier about my promise not to be selfish with her, I've had my suspicions. I could just check in her diary if she somehow remembers my confession, however would that be an evasion of her privacy? I sigh and give into my curiosity. I slowly and quietly open the window to her bedroom and carefully get inside. I then take her diary from where it's hidden and go back several pages. I won't look at any other page, because I don't want to be too invasive. I just had to know whether or not she remembers my confession. I find the date and read the diary entry.
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Dear Diary,
What a day! I woke up to find myself in this weird mansion with people, or I should say vampires that I didn't recognize. They were named Rose and Trevor. They appeared to be working for someone, who when he came, took Trevor's head off with one blow! I was petrified and they all seemed so captivated by me. I learned that the boss guy's name was, Elijah, and that he is an original vampire. He compelled me and he seems to want something with me. Luckily, Stefan and Damon came before I got too hurt and Damon was able to kill him. I was so relieved to have them by my side once more. I always felt so safe around them. I wanted to hug both of them, however, Stefan was closer and all I could give Damon was a small nod and a thank you. I feel bad for it now, he definitely deserves a hug… although one last thing happened this night. I drank some tea with vervain in it just in case something happened and when I was about to go to bed, Damon was there. He told me that he loved me, but that he couldn't be selfish with me and that he didn't deserve me. He also said that Stefan did… he's willing to watch me be happy with Stefan even if it means that he's suffering? I… I don't even know what to think of it… what to think of him… what to feel… how to feel. Gosh, everything is so confusing. All I can do is hope that I won't have to see him tomorrow, so that I don't die of being flustered. Knowing my luck I will. Until then.
Love,
Elena
I was silent looking at the entry beneath me. How was I supposed to react. Shocked? Scared? Antsy? My heart feels like it's about to pound out of my chest. Elena knows. She knows how I feel, and I have nothing to do about it. I've never felt so naked around someone… I knew I shouldn't of bored my heart out to her. I knew that something like this would happen. If only I had been smarter.
I glanced down at the sleeping figure and my thoughts all stop simultaneously. She's beautiful when she sleeps. Her lips slightly parted, a soft smile displayed on her lips. Her face relaxed, I couldn't help but to stroke some of her chocolate locks out of her face and softly caress her cheek with the pad of my thumb. If only I could do this while she was awake. If only I could hold and cherish her. If only I could love her. But what twisted world would that be? A world where I got the girl? Impossible.
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A/N: Did you all enjoy this chapter? I hope you all did and I'm excited to hear what you all think about this story. I've been working extremely hard on it, trying to keep consistent uploads while also producing good content. Anyways, I hope you all have amazing days and nights! XOXO