Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers
Warnings/Tags: Alternate Universe -Canon Divergence, Post-Avengers (2012), Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Tony Stark Has a Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Feels, Domestic Avengers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Mentions of Abortion but not explicit, Sexism, Sexist Language.
This story was requested by someone on AO3 who wanted to see an alternative version of 'Did You Ever Love Me?' where Howard says "no".
Cross-posted on my AO3 with a collage.
Dinner was an awkward affair that evening.
Early that morning, the Avengers had woken hours before dawn to some nut-job sorcerer, who managed to bring Howard Stark back from the dead. No, he wasn't a zombie or anything like that. In fact, according to Tony, the man looked exactly as he did when Howard left the morning he died in a car crash alongside his wife and Tony's mother. The cold and bitter morning of the 16th of December back in 1991.
So the team just had to keep the man occupied until he vanished; thankfully, the spell that brought Howard back would only last a day or so. The Avengers were also grateful that it wasn't time travel because it would've been difficult to keep any information away from the man and they'd have undoubtedly caused a very big problem.
Back to dinner, the team were all crowded around the table eating; Steve and Howard were catching up like they had been all day, whilst the others cast worried glances at Tony, who merely sent them a smile. A very fake smile.
It didn't take long for Tony to push his chair back, a lie of an excuse fired off his tongue as he excused himself from dinner and fled to his workshop. His plate still full, the food had merely been pushed about.
—LINE BREAK—
"Tony… are you alright?" Bruce asked, wandering down to find the genius with Tony's previous plate of food heated in his hands, "stupid question, I know, but we're all worried about you. You've barely said anything since your dad appeared and… well, that's very uncharacteristic of you." He looked around trying to spot his friend in the darkness of the room, "JARVIS, lights, please."
"Certainly, sir." The lights slowly turned on and Bruce spotted Tony in the corner, an unopened bottle of vodka sat next to the huddled form. With a sigh, he placed the food down on a clear table before sitting next to Tony, taking the alcohol in his hands.
"You know, Natasha would kill you if she found this in your possession." He rolled the bottle around in his hands, fingering the unopened seal, "or rather she'd be very proud of you for not opening it, before killing you for touching her demonic beverage." That produced a chuckle from the man, albeit a watery one. Tony raised his head from where it had been hidden in his arms, turning to look at Bruce and the scientist was torn between surprised and resigned at seeing the man's red eyes and the tear tracks down his cheeks. He reached out and placed his hand on Tony's arm.
"You'd think after twenty-so years, I'd be over it. I wouldn't be like this. He wouldn't still make me feel like an insignificant little boy. But, man, does he ever." Tony murmured with a self-deprecating laugh before he rubbed at his eyes with his fingers, squeezing his nose in the process as he brought his hands down to hold his lips in a gesture reminiscent of a praying man.
"Tony," Bruce merely murmured, wrapping an arm around his friend, who leaned into him.
"I've got to talk to him, don't I?"
"Not if you don't want to."
"I reckon I'll end up regretting whatever I do,"
"Well, I'm here for whatever you choose to do."
"I know," Tony murmured, "thank you."
—LINE BREAK—
"Dad," Tony called as he entered the living room, spotting Steve talking animatedly with Howard laughing and smiling, something Tony had never been witness to, "can we talk?" Steve stopped but Howard began to chat to his blond friend,
"Howard," Steve called cutting his friend off, "Tony wants to talk."
"Later," he grunted trying to get Steve's attention back,
"There may not be a later, Howard, talk to your son," the blond said gently, his thoughts racing as he began to take note of how different his friend was as a father; all day he had been picking up on things that suggested that Tony was right and why wouldn't he have been. He grew up with Howard as a father, Steve merely knew him for a handful of years as a friend. With a heavy sigh, Howard stood, grabbing Tony by the arm and dragging him to the balcony to talk.
—LINE BREAK—
"What do you want? Couldn't you see that I was talking to Steve?"
"You've been talking to him all day, dad. Is it too much to ask for a bit of time with you?"
"Yes." That silenced the younger genius, who merely stared out at the city they towered over. He wanted to talk to his dad, but he didn't know what to say.
"Did you love me? Ever?" The words rolled off his tongue without him realising; both Starks stared at each other in surprise, neither had expected the words. Yet, Tony went along with it when Howard refused to say anything, "Daddy I got to know. Dad, did you love me or not?" His voice slowly raising as his words became desperate, his eyes already watering with fresh tears, "answer me!"
Howard placed his hands on Tony's trembling shoulders before moving one hand up to his chin, grabbing it so that the shorter man was forced to look Howard in the eyes. Tony was too slow to realise that Howard's smile was not a pleasant one and could do nothing to stop the painful words that left the older man's lips.
"No." He stated bluntly, "you've always been a disappointment," he snarled the last word, pushing his son away from him, "when your mother came to me, telling me she was pregnant, I only let her keep you because I needed an heir. Someone to carry on my name. Be grateful you were born a boy; I don't know what I'd have done had you been a girl.
"But look at what you've done to ruin my empire; breaking it away from weapons because you became some hippie. Because you realised you had a conscience. You are truly pathetic, Anthony. You may have the body of a man, but I've always known that you were nothing more than a pathetic woman -stop snivelling!"
"Dad-"
"Stark men are made of iron, Anthony, you've clearly forgotten that. Always such a disappointment. A nothing. Worthless." Each punctuated word was like a stab to the silently crying man, "you've ruined my legacy. Perhaps it would've been better to let Maria abort you. It's what she wanted."
"Howard!" The two Starks turned and found the Avengers standing by the door, all of them were within hearing distance.
—LINE BREAK—
Steve watched with worried eyes as his old friend dragged Tony out of the room and onto the balcony; he turned and found the others staring too, all of them equally concerned. Bruce was the first to follow the pair, sneaking out onto the balcony to listen to the pair. The others trailed after him.
The words that came out of Howard's mouth disgusted them all and Steve felt awful as he remembered all the cruel things he'd said about Tony, telling the man that his father was much better when in reality, Steve was so wrong.
They watched as the tears fell down Tony's face in a silent, heartbreaking manner. His face was one of utter devastation, Tony's face was pale and his body shook, his usually steady hands were trembling madly. The saddest part of it was how the man seemed to be trying to get ahold of himself and failing miserably. He had curled in on himself too, head bowed as he listened to his dad's poisonous words.
"Howard!" Steve shouted, unable to listen to any more of the man's cruelty.
—LINE BREAK—
"Steve?"
"How could you say such things to your son?" He asked, striding over and wrapping an arm around Tony,
"It's how I've always spoken to him. What's the big problem?"
"You -you," he stammered unable to form sentences, "I thought the world of you, Howard," he blurted out, letting Bruce take the trembling man in his arms back inside, Thor following behind them as he and the spies stayed outside, "but now I've realised that your son is the better one of you."
"That is a lie," Howard snarled, "that boy will never amount to anything."
"He already has," heads turned to find Natasha staring coolly at Howard, "you may have created a million-dollar company. But Tony took that and made it into a billion-dollar one. Even before Afghanistan, before he shut the weapons department down, it was his medical division that earned the company the most, not the weapons."
"He's a disgrace."
"No, Howard. You are." Steve stated,
"Tony Stark is one of the most selfless men I've ever met. He gives without wanting anything in return and beneath his layers of masks, he's shy and quiet, only just coming out of his shell now that he's gotten to know us. I can see why, given how you treat him." Clint snarled.
"He's clearly not a Stark, we're made of iron and he's clearly not strong enough to live up to that."
"Iron rusts, Howard. You're not as strong as you think you are and Tony, he's far stronger than anyone knows." Steve murmured before turning on his heel and storming away; Natasha and Clint followed but not before they watched Howard's body flicker and vanish.
—LINE BREAK—
In the living room, Tony was being hugged by Thor and Bruce as he sat between them on the couch; he was crying softly and sniffling. No one said anything as the other half of the team joined them.
"You know, I can never remember what was the worst when I was growing up; him blatantly ignoring me or him shouting at me," he laughed bitterly, breaking the silence as he wiped at the tears that refused to stop, "but I now know what the best thing was. Thinking that somewhere deep deep down, he actually cared and loved me."
"So what." Tony looked up at Steve's words, staring at the smiling man, "you've got us now."
"That little genius doesn't need to worry anymore, Tony." Bruce stated, his smile one of understanding because the scientist understood exactly what Tony was going through, "he may have grown up unloved, but now, now he is."
"You are so loved, котенок,"
"And cared for." Clint continued after Natasha,
"You are with a family now, Anthony." Thor murmured, his voice surprisingly quiet as he pulled Tony in for a hug. The others joining too. Amidst the limbs and chuckles, Tony was smiling.
And if later that night, when everyone was asleep, the genius went out onto the balcony with a small smile as he looked to the sky.
"We're not alone anymore, kid. We've still got a broken family, but this one loves us and cares about us." He murmured as though his words could go back in time and be heard by the little boy crying himself to sleep after his daddy, with alcohol on his breath and anger on his tongue, shoved him into a table full of heavy and sharp objects, whilst his mummy did nothing but walk away from his begging bleeding form.
Here's my Tumblr if you're interested, it also has the story collages: anxious- - -soul (no spaces between the dashes, this site sucks and wouldn't allow them without spaces).
Anyway,
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