Track 2: Valor and Vision
Many things happened when Xander hit his 10th birthday. In that year I was 7, Leo was treading just behind me at a tender 6, Camilla even more so with just a few months of difference to me, and Elise nowhere nearby. Then there were other children. Fernand, Harold, Norbert, Elizabeth, Alma, and quite a few more what-are-even-their-faces I had seen in passing, and honestly, hadn't really tried to get to know myself. Hell, to even call myself close to any of the three siblings that would form part of canon (provided I don't derail things just by merely existing) would be completely untrue.
By that point, I think I had found some sort of… I can't say normalcy with good conscience, but routine also doesn't feel quite right either. Anyway, I think the best option to say is that I had set a pace for myself: Wake up early before the first clouds start thundering, wash myself in just below 10 minutes, be ready for breakfast in the main dining hall (and God, how I hated breakfast), immerse myself in whatever classes my tutors had planned for me for the day, survive through the morning lessons, have a much needed break on my own, then crawl through the physical lessons of the evening, avoiding as many "accidents" with the training equipment as well as my fellow classmates as I could, keep the evasion streak going by not talking to any and all staff not working directly under my mother (and even then my mother was quite adamant on me not talking to any of the members sent directly from her house either), hope that Garon won't summon all the children and concubines to dine together, whimper miserably when it inevitably happens, eat amidst a heavy atmosphere and the judgmental gazes of the harpies, eat everything as fast as I can without giving the witches anything to complain about, fail again, apologize and fake a smile when I'm told for the hundredth time that my jaw should move however it should be doing, that my elbows are too high, that I shouldn't twitch so much, and so on and on, excuse myself at the first chance, wash myself for the last time of the day, report my activities to the last minute detail to my mother, receive her instructions, go to sleep. Rinse and repeat.
Much to my chagrin, my efforts were often interrupted and made futile. Living with a sixth sense for danger was mandatory, as expected. Three of my siblings (at the very least) know now that poison comes in many forms. Why does it have to be poison? Between that, outright assassinations during their sleep and "tragic accidents", a big chunk of children have been dying in just the two years since I officially started my education. The caretakers and maids think we don't notice, but I'm completely sure most of us understand in some way or form.
It's quite a blunder getting to have actual freaking magic when your teacher cancels class every third day due to a death in the family. Then again, these interruptions are becoming less frequent.
And the worst part? I think I'm getting used to it, as bizarre as it sounds. I remember from my previous life a phrase that said something along the lines of "humans are the only species capable of adapting to any situation, given that if the environment doesn't suit them, they transform it to suit their needs". There's also the part that some part of my old memories are hauntingly letting the situation sit in. I clearly remember a time of my life when there were mass killings due to crime from the drug cartels and their trafficking. It went to a point in which seeing the daily dozens of executions became just a morbid part of my every day of that life.
Damn world, you scary!
In a way, I have desensitized myself to it, which is why I'm afraid to truly reach out to my brothers and sisters. If the game is anything to go by, all the Nohrian siblings, save for maybe Elise, have deep seated issues stemming from this hellhole we call home. If I'm not misremembering, Camilla took on the doting mother/sister role to make up for the love she didn't receive from her mother, who then falls into fits of inhuman brutality to let out her repressed anger, while Leo and Xander became stone cold once their positions as the "genius tactician prince" and actual "crown prince" demanded everything from them down to their cores, and grew into resentment for Leo and a form of apathy in Xander.
I certainly wish I could talk about this to someone, but hey, I'm the token creepy child of the castle. Which begs the question: Where the hell does Ignis Perdido fit within the royal family of Nohr? Is that a question a seven year old should be asking in the first place? Hell if I know. I'm working with what I have, and to be honest, having the mind of an adult does wonders for self-inspection when most of the adults you interact with assume your head is filled by the thoughts of a 7 year old.
…A façade that will be running out soon enough, probably a lot sooner than I think. I know the looks that the mothers of a few children are giving me. They know I'm smarter than I appear to be, and that many of my responses are practiced. I'm not a good actor, regardless of what my life demands of me. I'm not like my mother or the other concubines- hell, I'm not nor will I ever be like Xander.
As a silent observer, it's been such a weird thing growing alongside those once were just fictional characters, and even weirder seeing Xander go from a bright kid to the paragon he appears to be later in his adulthood. I can't help but both admire and pity him.
Coming back to our ages, I'm technically one of the oldest siblings that remain. Whether it is a combination of my mother's, my own, or some divine efforts, I've survived all this time whereas those older than me have all been slowly dying off. I still remember Wallace and Valliere in particular, two of the only older children who ever deigned words to me, even if Wallace's were… less than savory to say the least. Poor guy had his head stuck in his ass, convinced that he could take the crown prince position for himself, but I want to think that it was all due to his mother's laced words doing him bad. How can I hate a kid for being a kid?
Wallace ended impaled on a fence gate during a horseback practice when I was 6. I don't want to know if it was truly an accident or not. Both options are heart-breaking.
As for Valliere? I sincerely hope she's doing well. Her mother is no longer with us, having died to a slit throat in her sleep. Both were truly sweet even to me, a pair of lights in this maze. Valliere was taken away by her grandparents quietly during one night. I saw it myself, and said nothing of it. As far as the concubines are concerned, it's one less thing to worry about. Valliere and her mother were by all means commoners, and don't have any form of power within the court.
As one of the surviving older children, I'm at a bit of a crux. As more of the older children were offed through the years, both myself and Xander, and the surviving kids in-between our ages (number which will start thinning down if canon is to take place, and I sincerely hope Camilla doesn't take my place as the lower limit in this measurement someday), we become more important targets for the mothers with younger children simply by process of elimination. The day Xander reaches 16 will inevitably come, which is when I've been told he'll be presented officially as the Crown Prince and most likely receive Siegfried. I'm not quite sure when Brynhildr will be passed down to Leo either.
Xander has protected his life quite well, if I say so myself, and everyone knows that. As the son of Queen Katherina, all the concubines know better than to try and approach him like they would other children. For all his grief and mountain loads of work as the King of Nohr, if there's one person Garon has zealously kept an eye on, it's his firstborn.
So I still have at the very least 6 more years to survive, if my remembrance of the events is correct and Xander will put down the concubine wars for good as I expect it to happen.
The year Xander was 10 was also the year the first attempt towards him, the crown prince, reached directly the ears and eyes of Garon. Not that it wasn't the first, oh dear no. Out of all of the living children at the time, Xander's life was surely one of the most threatened on a daily basis. I have silently observed for years how he's hardened himself, and I personally was there when Alma's mother was executed by her father in a fit of rage.
I don't think I'll ever forget Alma's screams, or Arete's desperate pleas, and even less the woman's last moments. I distinctly remember Camilla and Leo standing dead still, with the former averting her eyes from the scene and having her arm twisted red by her own mother, and the latter standing completely dumbfounded. How the hell is a 6 year old supposed to process an execution live and direct? I myself spent quite a number of sleepless nights after that, with the shrieks of Alma's mother cursing every one of us, her poor daughter, the other concubines, Garon himself to never find peace in this or any life.
That was the first and last time Garon showed kindness to me as well.
Speaking of, how was even Garon as a father?
Surprisingly, like Xander, I got the chance to interact with Garon before he was replaced with whatever monstrosity Corrin would later come to face against. And it broke me further to have known him in his good years, knowing what awaited him.
Garonstrud Asterios XI was a complicated man, to say the very least. He was a man of pure discipline and willpower, like he was a character pulled straight out of a Greek myth. He was peerless, incredibly driven and focused, devoted to his land completely. To be a bit romantic, Garon in his prime was downright grander than life, and represented the "Nohrian Glory" absolutely. He was blunt and completely out of touch with his emotions, but he was nonetheless an amazing leader. I'd never had hopes of ever involving myself in the Royal Court, but of course, as one of his many sons, there were certain expectations placed on me, many which required my presence in certain times. He inspired hope and charmed his followers with his unyielding fire even when faced amidst the harsh times. Maybe if I had been born without the knowledge I have, I wouldn't have hesitated to try and fill in his footsteps.
But then, what happened? What made such an incredible man fall from grace? That's another tale.
Nohr is a dying land that thrives on conquest for survival. From my studies regarding Nohrian history, it seems basically a retelling of most major countries from my original world (even if my knowledge is skewered a bit). To put it short, because history is definitely not one of my fortes, Nohr began more or less as a conglomerate of strong tribes that gathered under a single banner after quite literally the opposition was dead. Following that was a slow but steady expansion towards the east, caused mainly because, well, to lay it down brutally, the superior forces seem to hate Nohrian territory with a passion. I'm no expert on geology or meteorology and the like, but it seems Nohr is destined to be a shithole to the end. Crops grow slowly, and if they do, their quality is mediocre to say the least, which in return makes raising livestock a herculean task in and on itself save for a few species like goats who thrive on specific mountainsides, or pigs who can eat basically anything. Rain is scarce and so are lush plains, with the whole country being seemingly engulfed in a perpetual twilight. I've picked up on a rather crude saying that goes "When that happens it'll be the day Krakenburg sees the sun", one that er… my mother has been quite adamant of taking away from me.
Anyways, the Nohrian economy is based mainly on the acquisition of goods via conquest and integration of smaller territories, to afterwards try and export their resources until the supply runs dry. Compromises or balance are hardly ever achieved due to the treacherous territory, of course; our supplies are limited and running short each passing day. Or at least this is what I piece together. As a child I'm not allowed to leave the castle or involve myself with the masses (not that I would readily do it, to be perfectly honest), so I only have the retellings of the books and the lessons from the teachers.
Of course, this is just an (mostly un)educated guess from a cynical adult stuck in a child's body, but there's so many times I'll be told "And the Nohrians marched bravely against the enemy territory of X" before the pattern becomes obvious. I don't think I'll ever finish "History of Nohr: Volume I of X" myself either (and here I thought Baldor was insane), but having a general understanding of the world around me will be vital in the future.
Uh, provided I survive, of course.
This whole picture, however, is something that Garon is bitterly aware of, surely more than I'll ever hope to grasp, and I assume it's his biggest source of turmoil. Nohr is a war-founded country first and foremost, but nowadays that may just not be an option. If my memories of the game are correct, when supplied by my knowledge attained by actually being here, it won't be long before Nohr runs into a metaphorical wall, either by stepping foot into the various neutral countries like Cyrkensia or Izumo, or pissing off our understandably strained "supporters" and "allies" enough that they cut ties off with us completely. There's so much that the threat of war can do on these circumstances, as both the supporters and Garon know that going to town will only result in mutual destruction, immediate for the poor schmucks that will be caught in the crossfire, and Nohr as a whole in the long run by razing the already poor land. No one will bet their chances on restoring any lost land.
Damn, looking again I don't know how the hell Garon slept at night, or if he did at all. I don't have to worry about all this as technically I am a kid, but I'm not going to remain clueless if I can help it.
I guess it's because of this and more that I feel a modicum of pity for the man. As someone who never quite achieved much in his previous life and has never truly fully understood the weight of responsibility outside of his own person and immediate circle, having a whole nation depend on you is something that evades me and can only imagine with half a mind.
Many things happened when Xander hit his 10th birthday. In that year I was 7, Leo was treading just behind me at a tender 6, Camilla even more so with just a few months of difference to me, and Elise nowhere nearby.
Many things happened when I was 7 years old. During this time I got to understand more of the world around me as I finally grasped the written Nohrian language. It was also the time I knew for certain I would stop seeing my father smile after he himself executed Alma's mother.
It would be the start of the bloodiest part of the Concubine Wars, which would only end after Xander himself took reign of the situation, it would also mark the start of my increasingly desperate attempts and failures to avoid more tragedies.
And it would also be the time I would ascend to being Ignis, 2nd Prince of Nohr, because just after becoming 8, on the eve of Camilla's birthday, just a few months after mine, I also committed fratricide for the first time.