Everything was happening so fast, like a dream way too good to be true. Over years, she had gotten used to chaotic fragmets of half-faded memories, often deformed into nightmares. As if her mind's ability to imagine a positive scenario simply disappeared. Now the boy - Zaheer - guided her through corridors, around chambers of Daigo's mansion, and she thought that maybe, just maybe, this was real. Something so rich in detail couldn't be just her imagination.
Or the cold finally got into me and I'm dying.
Whatever the option, she decided to just go with it.
The firm grip of Zaheer's hand, the warmth - she almost forgot how that felt like - almost made her feel safe, but she knew better. Even a monster like Daigo had been able to act human and sympathetic in order to get what he wanted.
That day , he'd offered two lost orphans "a place to stay at night". The next morning, they'd woken up in a different room than, he'd appeared shortly to inform them that this - he had made a wide gesture to the suffocating luxury of the chamber - could be their life, as long as they'd behave and obeyed every order. If not, cells underground. Regardless of their choice, they'd be his property. For the time being, P'Li had really tried, more for the sake of her sister than her own. Maybe if it hadn't been for that escape attempt…
Running with Zaheer reminded her of that night, and just like before, a large front-door with golden edges came into her view, the very thing that had sabotaged their previous attempr, which had led to Lien-Hua's execution.
Tears of grief blurred her vision and seconds later, blind rage took over her. A sharp, almost violent inspiration, then she released an explosion, unusually powerful, considering her weakened state. After the smoke cleared, only a mess of burnt splinters was left. She wanted to pass through, take the final step to freedom, but someone - literally - held her back.
Zaheer stood frozen, staring in amazement at the debris, until he noticed her irritated glare.
"Uh… excuse me. It's just… I've never seen combustionbending before," he sheepishly looked away and tried to hide his fascination, but she had just about enough.
"Try learning it against your will for someone who wants you to do his dirty work for him. See how you like it," she snapped and pulled her hand free, the contact suddenly unbearable.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" he started, but she had no patience for that.
"Cut it out, I don't want to hear it. Stay here for all I care, but I'm done."
She heard him follow her and then they both stepped into the night, lit up by moon and flickering spots of stars.
I haven't seen the night sky for so long…
Escape momentarily forgotten, she tilted her head up to have a better view. Of all the things she'd experienced today, this one, for some reason, felt most unreal. In her peripheral vision, Zaheer had run off to someone, but she didn't pay attention to it.
"Took you long enough, Zaheer," a man's voice startled her.
"I had a good reason for that," she recognized Zaheer's voice.
Are they talking about me? What do they want from me? she wondered, but her guesses were far from optimistic.
The same thing as everyone else, obviously. To use me for their own intentions. And for a moment, that boy didn't seem so bad. I should've known better.
"P'Li," his voice called. "can you come here? I'd like you to meet someone."
Was there even a choice? She stepped closer, not waiting until they dragged her.
"This is Xai Bau, my master."
She slouched instintively to appear smaller and less noticeable - with her height, not really possible. The light of his torch illuminated a face of a man in his fifties, with thinning black hair, catching silver at the sides, and short beard. Warm glow of the fire was not reflected in his steel grey eyes.
Age-wise, he wasn't far from her previous captor, but his irises lacked the constant vicious gleam. His gaze was hard to read as he briefly inspected her, halting at her forehead. His eyes shone with recognition.
"I sent Zaheer to look for any victims of that madman, but I hoped he would return alone. Who would have thought that he'd manage to train an actual combustionbender?"
When she didn't answer, he offered a pitiful smile. "I am truly sorry for what you had to endure. I know what he was capable of."
"Was?" she heard herself saying, curiosity taking over before she convinced herself it didn't matter.
"I took him down, and it was about time. According to what I heard, his guards were planning to kidnap four-year-old twin boys from a near city. He expected that younger victims would be easier to brainwash into his tools. Fortunately, he won't hurt any other child again."
"How lucky they are," her voice was barely a whisper, revealing burning envy she was trying to suppress. What would she give to never experience this...
If only she had saved her, so at least she could forget and heal. But now… how was she supposed to live now? Nowhere to go, no one to welcome her. In people's eyes, a freak. Who would want her?
Oh, but some definitely would, she remembered. To claim me as a weapon, give me orders and then put me away when I'm not needed anymore. Am I supposed to just take it and be grateful, like Daigo often told me? No… I can't do it.
Tears welled up in her eyes and poured down her cheeks, despite the unwanted company. Maybe it would shock them - killing machine, crying? - but what reason did she have to care? It was too late...
Her vision started spinning and after a few dizzying seconds, faded to black. The last thing she saw was a blurry image of Zaheer rushing to her help before she lost consciousness.
"She passed out," Zaheer informed Xai Bau. He barely caught her falling form in time and set her gently down on the ground.
"No wonder. She looks malnourished and that blast she produced must have been too much," Xai Bau observed. Zaheer squatted down and checked her temperature. The black pupilla of her tattoo was scalding hot.
"After some rest and proper meal, she will be fine. At least physically. That's as much as I'm willing to do, though I suspect it will be in vain."
"What do you mean?" Zaheer didn't like the resignation in Xai Bau's voice.
"You know, so don't ask. We need to leave, the shirshu toxin I used on guards will wear off soon."
Zaheer spotted the deliberate change of topic, but decided to leave it be. They really had to get away. He lifted P'Li up, surprised that the tall girl weighed so little. Right now, with nothing troubling her, she looked a lot younger. Thirteen or fourteen? Zaheer couldn't guess.
"Isn't she heavy?" Xai Bau asked while they were making their way through the hills.
"Not at all," Zaheer felt weariness getting into him, but it couldn't be much further...
As usual, nothing could be nice and simple. Xai Bau insisted they needed a proper shelter, so that no one could find them.
"Seriously? Daigo's dead, who would send anyone after us?"
"Here I thought you finally learned what I've been trying to teach you. You have to think of everything, Zaheer. And don't roll your eyes at me."
An overhang between blackened rocks finally satisfied Xai Bau enough. Zaheer unfolded two blankets and tried to make them as comfortable as possible, then he awkwardly wrapped P'Li in them. While Xai Bau had gone away to find fresh water, Zaheer kept checking if she wasn't cold.
Soft rustling of the rain meant that soon his mentor would get back, so he moved away from her. And he was right.
"It's going to be a real downpour," Xai Bau called as he stepped under rocks providing an excellent protection from the rain. He pulled out a cloth to dry himself, but even the rain didn't affect his smugness.
"See, this is why you always need to be ready, Zaheer. The rain wouldn't help us much, especially with that girl around. What was her name, again?"
"P'Li," Zaheer answered, looking back at her. She still hadn't come back to her senses.
"P'Li, right. She doesn't need to get sick on top of all other things."
Zaheer didn't respond to that, instead thought about everything. He wanted to help her, but how? If his teacher, who'd been through so much in his life, didn't believe she could make it, what chances were there?
"Xai Bau… do you really think she can't get better?"
He turned to him with serious look. His steel gaze was devoid of emotion, but he must have understood Zaheer cared a lot about his answer.
"Depends," he sighed. "We don't know how long she's been there - although I estimate a couple years - what kind of abuse she went through, if she has someone left. She seems deeply traumatized, but surrounded by family or people she can trust, she might start healing. It's none of our business, though."
"I have a bad suspicion," Zaheer started, carefully deciding what to reveal since he had no specific proof, "that she is all on her own now. What are we going to do?"
"What are you implying?" Zaheer itched to say: 'You know what, so don't ask,' to return his own words, but his master didn't appreciate talking back.
"It would be heartless to just leave her. Not only that, but with her abilities, there's a danger of someone else using her again. She could spend time with other members who also went through their fair share of hardship, and learn from their experience. I could show her how to meditate or maybe..." his mind was buzzing with ideas.
He had no clue why, but he refused to just... give up on her. Call it pity, or basic human decency, Xai Bau would say forgetting about bigger picture, but even if they parted, she would remain in his thoughts.
"Zaheer, do you even hear yourself? We're a secret society against any form of government, White Lotus is still trying to hunt down the last of us and we dedicated our lives to this. Once she gets involved, how are we supposed to just let her go, even if she somehow recovered? Seriously…" he shook his head, "if I didn't know better, I would think you are too fascinated with her abilities."
"After she just got away from a madman who was blind to everything else but that?" Zaheer raised his voice. "Do you think I don't have a backbone?"
"Keep quiet, will you? I'm just telling you how it sounds. Anyone would be sceptical, including her. You might fancy yourself some kind of protector of hers, but maybe she doesn't want to have anything to do with you. We freed her, therefore the choice is hers and hers only to make," he stressed, then added. "People like her become disillusioned with others and often can't rebuild their lives anew. It takes a great will not to decide for a quick end and nothing I've seen yet implies she has it."
"Don't talk like this." Zaheer usually admired Xai Bau's knowledge and experience, but he wanted to believe that this one time, he was wrong.
"You know, Zaheer," Xai Bau walked over to him, sat down and put a hand on his shoulder in caring manner, "I might have resisted the feeling for some time, but I can't help but see you as a son I never had. You remind me a lot of my young self and if I ever act like an annoying know-it-all or lecture you, I just want to spare you of a few bad decisions. I beg you not to repeat my missteps. Some of mine left me wondering how I'm still alive."
This was a rare moment - Zaheer respected Xai Bau like no one else, but his teacher never seemed to be fully satisfied and always found a flaw in Zaheer's actions, a reason to criticize him. To hear that all this time, he had thought of him so highly… definitely not something Zaheer had expected.
"Xai Bau… I'm truly honored," he allowed himself a moment of open sincerity to thank him. "I never thought you would consider me good enough to say such a thing."
Now, here came the hard part. "However… don't you think I deserve more trust? I just completed my first mission as a Red Lotus member. I should have the right to decide on my own - if I end up being wrong, I'll take responsibility for it."
"And what exactly do you plan to do?" Xai Bau's expression wasn't exactly affirmative, but he was willing to listen.
"Tomorrow, I'll offer P'Li to come with us. If she says no, fine, I'll let her go, as you said."
"Zaheer… don't get me wrong, I pity her too, but this isn't a good idea." Xai Bau said in resigned tone. "Try, if you want… but don't expect much."
"Now, let's get some rest," he pulled out his bedroll and lied down.
Zaheer did the same, but when he covered himself with the last blanket, sleep refused to come to him and replace the noise of his thoughts.
I can understand why Xai Bau disapproves. After years of teaching me that any contacts outside of the Red Lotus are dangerous… the way I act because of someone I just met goes against everything I've learned.
She isn't like any ordinary civilian, though. If we met under different circumstances, she could have been our sympathizer. Sure, she comes off as bitter and unfriendly, but can I blame her? If she really was hopeless, would she follow me so eagerly to her freedom? Would she find enough fire to turn that massive door to dust? It might take a long time, but I don't think she's completely lost.
Then his thoughts took a darker turn.
Probably just survival instincts. After I gawked at her so openly, she may think I'm no better than her dead captor. Tomorrow will be the last time I see her, and there's nothing I can do about it, he admitted to himself, defeated. Why did Xai Bau always have to be right?
Xai Bau's snores filled the cave, but Zaheer had struggled to fall asleep for hours. And if someone's louder, faster breathing was anything to go by, he wasn't the only one lying awake.