Zaheer had suggested meeting up the next day at dawn to meditate together someplace where no one could interrupt them.
P'Li had eaten her breakfast in a rush, now painfully aware of it as her stomach fluttered with nerves. Was her choice to join the Red Lotus truly a good idea? She still lacked the full picture of the organisation's objectives - she knew about their stance against thw world leaders, but for once, she would appreciate Zaheer's philosophy mumbo jumbo, as Ghazan had put it so eloquently.
"Good morning," he greeted softly, as she reached the clearing and stepped between the trees.
"Morning," she replied, wondering how long he had been up. His eyes were enveloped in swollen circles, but he looked none the less eager to go.
"Ready?" he made a wide gesture, pointing his arm in the direction they'd be following.
"As I'll ever be," she shrugged, striding next to him - which proved to be a bad idea, as her longer legs took her farther than him and she had no idea where they were going.
It took them almost an hour to step atop one of smaller peaks she'd eyed before. As they ascended, a spectacular view opened up in front of her; mountains fading into the background until they became one with the sky; greying summits of sun-exposed rock peeking above the sea of dark green. The sky was still dressed in vibrant colours of sunrise.
As they finally settled on smooth granite surface, already warmed by trickling sunlight, Zaheer folded his legs into lotus position. P'Li did the same, peeved how her bony knees stuck out in weird angles.
"Now. Have you tried meditation before?" he looked at her expectantly.
"I did," she was willing to admit as much.
"Great! How did it go?" his eyes lit up and she felt like groaning. His enthusiasm, not very well hidden at that, was not helping.
"Zaheer," she sighed. "If it went well, I wouldn't be here stuck with you."
His face fell. P'Li realized her words must have sounded meaner than she expected, like she hated being there with him. Something in her chest stirred at the thought of hurting him.
"I mean, not that your company is bad or anything!" she blurted out. "That wasn't what I had in mind. It's just-" her words ran out. Why was she like this?
"I know that's not what you meant," he replied, but still she noticed his reassured smile.
"Anyway, what was the problem for you?" he inquired.
"You mean except not being able to sit peacefully because each little sound felt like danger coming?"
"Hmm," he pursed his lips in thought. "What is the reason for that?"
Wasn't it obvious?
"It's a reflex. Back then..." she hated talking about years of her captivity again. She took a deep breath and willed the words to break free from the cage of her constricted chest.
"When I was alone, all I had was silence," she mumbled out. "When I heard something, usually it meant more drill, or punishment."
He waited until she fought off the shadows of those memories.
"Here, we're away from noises of the forest. No one is around," he pointed out.
Correct as he was, things were far from being that simple.
"If we were more to the north, we'd see Northern Air Temple," he continued, his vision hazy and somewhere far away.
"This is as close as I can get to it. When I'm up above, it reminds me of ancient airbending masters and their lives, devoid of earthly tethers," his eyes shone with distant light, as if he was remembering something treasured he'd experienced on his own.
P'Li knew that asking him about whatever in the Spirits' name he meant would mean a high chance of a lecture - while interesting for sure, time-consuming as well. They had only so many hours to spend.
"I prefer the height myself," she looked around and took her time appreciating the view. No one in sight and if by any chance something closed in, she would spot it with her sharp eyesight. It truly helped her to feel safer, in a different, more stimulating way than her forest clearing. Like her heart lifted up with the altitude.
Zaheer's mouth corner twitched and she just knew what he probably thought of.
"Will it be easier for you to try here, P'Li?"
"Maybe… I don't know." Her surroundings were no guarantee of success.
"Do you need any guidance?"
"I never understood what was I supposed to do, except for sitting still and trying to relax."
His eyebrows wrinkled in indignation and he opened his mouth to protest.
"That is an insulting simplification of the practice. Who told you that? Was it Zhi?" he fumed and she almost giggled at his affronted expression. When he noticed her covering her mouth to hide her smile, he stopped the already brewing rant, breathed in deeply and continued unfazed.
"There are many kinds of meditation, depends on what you want to achieve. Before a mission, Xai Bau prefers to focus on steady breathing or attaches his vision to a single point in order to improve his concentration. I do it when I visit the Spirit World. I stop paying attention to anything happening outside, imagine the location I intend to visit, and visualize the pull as my soul detaches the physical world."
'Visualize the growing heat as you breathe in.'
P'Li winced, disturbed as she was unwillingly reminded of the technique to charge her tattoo. The vague, unclear instructions from amateur teachers Daigo had brought by force - he himself never had the desire nor patience to dirty his hands with her training - were hard to grasp, let alone master.
'Focus on the center point of your forehead until you feel the burn. Hold it, focus on target, release.'
The first half of came almost effortlessly to her, for some reason. The second half had proved to be much, much trickier.
"And you can always come back safely?" she muttered, trying to push out the memory.
"Yes, why wouldn't I?" he replied immediately, then seemed to ponder it a bit. "It's a fascinating place. Sometimes I lose track of time," he admitted with a chuckle.
P'Li had no desire to leave her body vulnerable to attack or launch herself into an unknown place full of nonsense. What little she knew about the Spirit World was daunting enough - a chaotic realm full of unpredictable beings and out of her control.
"Now there's mindfulness," Zaheer continued, eyes lit up as he slipped more and more into his element. "You notice the pattern of your thoughts and choose not to focus on them, let them go their way. In the perpetual flow, all meaning ceases. Release your burdens and be free," he recited, distant again.
"Let me guess. Guru Laghima?" she raised one eyebrow.
"Actually, yes," he answered, mild surprise in his tone.
"You're so predictable," she rolled her eyes, not without fondness.
"Anyway," he continued, trying to keep his composure like she didn't just ruffle his feathers, "what I was thinking for you may be a bit of both, but you're going to look inwards. Observe your body and try to discover the flow of qì, where it rushes, where it stagnates."
"Have you tried it before?" the technique appeared to be worth a shot.
"I did, in my effort to discard all of my hindrances in order to give all of myself to service to the Red Lotus."
He must have noticed her staring at him weird.
"Nothing like that will be expected of you, or anyone," he offered a brief tug of his lip corner. "It's a path I believe I am meant to follow."
Her curiosity sparked and she thought to ask more, but decided to give the practice a try at first.
"Close your eyes. Deep breaths," he instructed, voice deep and monotone, his thumb and index finger joining in a circle.
She mimicked him, even though reason still nagged at her to be vigilant. Her worry subsided as she gradually deepened her breaths. The air spread her ribcage, fall down into her abdomen, until it filled her up to her collarbones.
"Try to observe how exactly the breath flows inside you," his voice seemed a bit more far away.
At first, P'Li didn't notice much, just the ever-repeating cycle of inhale and exhale, in and out, like a lull. Then, she noticed the air leaving her lungs was very warm.
So what? It's only logical, she thought at first, but tried to follow it down to the source of the heat.
Droplets of light, almost tickling sensation joined together in something that resembled a stream. As if frightened, it weakened under her watchful eye, but as she kept on breathing, slower and deeper, she found it again.
Pulled from the base of her lungs, the warmth divided into several directions - trickling down to last vertebrae of her spine and pouring into the ground; into her heart and rushing to her head, making her almost dizzy.
As she exhaled, it creeped up her neck from both sides, climbed from the back of her head to the front, and flew out through her nose. The points with natural predilection for the energy to gather probably represented her chakras. In some spots, the current appeared natural, in others, heavy and stunted. Disturbances like rocks in the river made it swirl and scatter without direction.
The longer P'Li followed it, the more she could not ignore its inherent desire to form the largest pool in her deadly mark, regardless of her will. She recognized the feeling and suddenly understood why focusing her qì there came so effortlessly to her. The spot under the black pupila of her third eye started to itch, then burn; heat spilled towards her brows. Even with her eyes closed, her vision began swimming and scintillating. The headache that had occasionally been troubling her for the past several weeks now returned, much more intense.
She snapped her eyelids open and jumped up from her seated position. A wave of nausea overcame her.
"P'Li?" Zaheer got up to his feet and took a few hesitant steps to her. "What's wrong?"
Biting her lip to keep herself from groaning in pain, she took off her bandanna and massaged the sore spot with her knuckles. The skin was hot to touch.
"My mark-" she gasped out, unable to explain more, her balance unsteady. Her pulse pounded in her ears. Zaheer leapt closer and P'Li placed her hands on his forearms, leaning on him for support until her vertigo passed.
She squeezed her eyes shut and maintained her deep breathing, willing the energy to leave her body in prolonged exhales.
Finally, it seemed to pass. Her forehead no longer felt like someone had placed a hot coal in the center.
"What was that?" he asked, eyes wide in concern.
"Don't know," she mumbled. "I finally found the flow of qì, like you told me, but then I noticed the most of it is pulled into my forehead and it started burning." She let go of him and backed away, still shaken.
"Has it ever happened before?" he leaned his body in her direction, but didn't attempt to breach into her personal space.
"Before we were taken…" she reminisced, the pictures almost gone from her memory, "I used to have migraines. Then, when they forced me to train," the memory still made her stomach churn, "they stopped. What does it mean that they are coming back now?"
A notion was slowly taking shape in her mind, making her heartbeat race in panic. Another painful squeeze of her stomach almost made her bend over.
Just yesterday, she was so moved by his words; she really allowed herself to warm up to the idea that she had power to do anything. Now she witnessed its preferred pull, how it seemed to urge her to destruction despite her resistance.
"P'Li," he stepped closer and put his hand on her shoulder, his eyes seeking out hers to check if she was comfortable. Her lip corners tightened in the saddest parody of a smile, but the touch grounded her somewhat. The muted dark green of his irises made her think of shadows veiling her clearing; of safety and protection.
"I know what you're probably thinking. I'm sure the actual reason is more complex than that."
Was she that easy to read for him?
"I'd like to believe you," she sighed, feeling much heavier than before. "But I felt it myself, Zaheer."
She sat down, pulling her thighs closer to her chest and leaning her chin on them.
"If I don't give in, what happens to me? Will it continue to hurt enough for me to become mindless and start blasting everything in sight just to find relief? Or will my head just explode?"
She pressed her forehead into her knees and the bleak outlooks on the future overtook her. Her eyes were dry, but maybe if she cried, the crushing sensation pressing on her would lift at least a bit. Out of habit, she kept breathing in slow rhythm, but it wasn't enough to bring her relief.
P'Li felt him squat down next to her and then, a tentative touch of his hand on her back. She didn't flinch; weren't she so exhausted, perhaps she'd even lean into it. Zaheer moved his hand in awkward tiny circles to soothe her. How long had it been since someone touched her with comfort?
Slowly, she uncurled from her position and met his eyes again. For a moment, she cursed her ongoing weakness, but in his gaze, she read no pity. They shone with genuine care for her wellbeing.
She attempted to smile again to let him know his gesture was appreciated. Zaheer returned it, then took a breath and paused, as if hesitant to speak.
P'Li lifted her brows in a silent question.
"You may dislike this suggestion," he wavered, "but you should ask Zhi about combustionbending."
Under normal circumstances, P'Li would bristle with rage that he'd even suggest it.
"I don't plan to use it, ever," she stated instead, tone flat to indicate that she wouldn't discuss it further.
"I know," he replied quickly. "But she will likely know what's happening to you and how to stop it."
P'Li could just imagine the unbearable smug look on Zhi's face when she would be finally forced to ask about the only thing she'd sworn to never mention. She exhaled in exasperation, her anger turning it into a snarl.
What did she have to lose, though?
"Only this once," she pushed through her teeth.
"It's your choice, still, no one else's," he assured her. "You're in the Red Lotus, after all."
P'Li recalled her earlier contemplation; now the switch of topic offered a much needed distraction.
"Have you told anyone?" she didn't need to specify, he understood.
"Why would I speak in your place? I know you're not fond of Xai Bau-"
She scoffed. That was what he called it?
"-and I understand your dislike to a degree, so it's reasonable you should tell him when you feel ready. Same goes for about anyone. There is no initiation, or duty to stick with us until death."
"That can't be true. Xai Bau went on about how he can't let me know too much, that I could put everything into jeopardy," she remembered those overheard talks not meant for her ears.
"That's purely his personal experience hardening his words."
"He just saw too much, we're back at this again?" P'Li absolutely couldn't understand why he kept on defending that old bitter paranoiac.
Zaheer took a long breath, eyebrows pinched in frustration.
"He is my teacher who gave my life greater meaning than I could have comprehended back then," there was an edge to his tone she wasn't used to hearing from him.
"I don't know everything of it myself, but from what I obtained, Xai Bau blindly trusted someone who had then backstabbed him. It resulted in the death of many, including the traitor, and our numbers pushed back. The White Lotus is still on guard, searching for the last of us so that no one will question their ways anymore."
"Ghazan told me the same thing," she commented.
"Wait, he did?" Zaheer's forehead scrunched up again and his mouth pressed into a thin line.
"Then he got mad at me for saying schools teach kids something different."
"Ah," though the concern remained, some of the discontent melted away from his face. "I'm not one to disclose his secrets. He knows maybe the best of us how vile they can be."
Silence followed, an unspoken tension still clouding the space between them.
"Tell me more about the Red Lotus," she requested.
"What do you want to know?"
"What are your goals? What do you hope to achieve?"
"I would figure that observant as you are, you would know already, P'Li," he chuckled.
"I have pieces, but I'd prefer to see the whole picture," she countered.
"Well, it's a long story. I could talk about it for hours." She steeled her face into neutrality, but something had to give her away.
"Don't worry, I won't," a wry smirk stretched his lips. She snickered.
"I do like listening to you," she felt the need to make herself clear.
"We don't have much time left, though." Both had the rest of daily training to get back to. Time seemed to breeze past them, carrying them away from their rare respite.
"How unfortunate," his face and tone softened. Then, he started narrating.
"More than ten thousand years ago, the world was vastly different. There was no Avatar to maintain so-called balance, instead two great Spirits - Raava, the Stability, and Vaatu, the Change - grappled each other to keep the world in movement. When Raava prevailed, years of peace and prosperity followed. Humans thrived and spread across the world - but some grew greedy for power and domination over others. Vaatu then destroyed their worlds built on exploitation and restriction. Humans learned not to rely on anything to be permanent, and it allowed them to be free again.
"At the last Harmonic Convergence, something unprecedented happened. A human of early Fire Nation origin, named Wan, bonded with Raava and became the very first Avatar. He imprisoned Vaatu between the spirit portals and sealed them shut, separating our world and the Spirit World. He naively believed that his act was for the good of everyone, but he threw the world out of balance. Through his reincarnations, Raava build stability and stillness as she desired."
"But isn't that… a good thing? There's peace now thanks to the Avatar." She missed her own days of serenity deeply.
"Peace at what cost? Avatars were not immune to failing of human attachments, of not seeing the bigger picture. Avatar Roku could have stopped Sozin, but his affection for the Firelord blinded him to his true nature - resulting in the genocide of the Air Nomads. An entire culture built on freedom and life without worldly desires, lost," his voice choked up.
"Avatar Aang did help to undo the failings of his predecessor, but is any person truly worthy of such influence over the world? They could be raised to support the oppressors and serve their interests. Instead of stepping into their own power, people are taught to follow and blindly trust one figure. As long as such a person exists, people cannot be truly free," his gaze darkened with the conviction and zeal P'Li recognized all too well. She was stuck between admiration and apprehension.
"What does it have to do with the Red Lotus?" she reminded him.
"After the end of the Hundred Year War, the White Lotus came out of hiding as the Avatar's allies. Praised for their intervention, they were elevated into positions of high political influence, or tasked with protecting the world leaders themselves. Their numbers grew, but ideals shriveled. They transformed into perpetrators of violence and oppression," his stern, almost preaching manner of speaking seemed unseemly compared to his age. P'Li wondered how much of his monologue was repeating after Xai Bau.
"Several of their rows recognized their downfall and broke away to form the Red Lotus - a secret group pursuing the eradication of world leaders and restoration of the original state of the world."
P'Li carefully turned his words over in her head, searching for hidden meanings and tricks. Ghazan's outburst, her imprisonment, everything from her previous experiences seemed to align with Zaheer's outlook. If people with power to feast on others' lives had ceased to be, she and Lien-Hua would have never been taken.
"What happens once you eliminate a tyrant, though? Won't another step in their stead?" she asked to steer her attention away from memories.
"Naturally. People have lived out of balance for too long, it may take generations for chains to break completely. But it's a cause I'm willing to lay my life for."
P'Li wanted to say something, but her tentative agreement could never match Zaheer's intensity. Despite wanting to become a part of the Red Lotus, she had no actual idea what it meant. Her training barely got through basic steps and even that took a lot of effort to handle. But just as Zhi had said, she needed to find something to strive towards, a distant spot on the horizon to remind her how far to go still.
"You make good points," she admitted. "But I'm not ready yet."
His demeanor shifted, sight clearing up as Zaheer realized what he just implied.
"Of course. I would never force you to fight battles which aren't your own," he said, warmer and softer than before.
"I'm sure that when your time comes, your fire will burn brighter than anything else."
P'Li was astounded by such confident claim. A part of her still remained cautious, reminding her not to trust everything until she found out the full truth on her own, without the influence of his poetic words. And wishful thinking as it probably was, P'Li wanted to believe that Zaheer had no ulterior motives for speaking so highly of her.
P'Li approached Zhi in the afternoon, determined to pay her back and to get the matter out of the way as soon as possible. During the spar, her movements were surer, more precise. Her offense still lacked the force necessary to truly incapacite her opponent, but she didn't let herself back down. She recalled the inner fire she'd discovered, a source of will that pulled her out of despair and drew her sight upwards to seek more of herself, and of the world.
Then, another memory flashed itself to her - a thick current like wild river, spinning into a maelstrom under her detested mark, itching to burst forward and wreak havoc.
She wavered, which Zhi immediately took advantage of and hit the center of her chest. P'Li lost balance and almost fell.
"Pause," Zhi interjected.
Pushing down her frustration, P'Li braced herself for the commentary.
"Your improvement cannot be denied," she started predictably, with a bait. "But there's a source of weakness still."
Zhi knew better than to outright ask her, but there was that inquisitive copper gleam in her dark eyes, searching for its way inside through cracks in her defenses.
P'Li refused to falter. She couldn't show fear now.
"I want to know more about combustionbending," she returned her stare with challenge.
Zhi didn't seem the slightest bit surprised upon hearing that. Her mouth curled.
"The headaches, huh?"
So she did know the whole time and expected P'Li to come to her. Her insides ignited like wildfire.
"If you don't want me to relieve myself of them right now, I suggest you don't hide anything from me anymore."
The old woman didn't even flinch, instead she fiddled with something in her dark green robes.
"I didn't conceal it from you on purpose," she replied nonchalantly. "You were the one who refused to hear anything on that topic."
"But you knew I would ask," P'Li glared.
"I didn't know that for sure. Too many variables had to be taken into account."
She finally pulled out a tube containing a worn out scroll. "But I was curious. The more prevalent Ājñā, the earlier they manifest, especially if you're rejecting its existence."
The condescending tone fuelled P'Li even more.
"So you played the waiting game, knowing I would beg you for help once I was desperate?" she barely kept herself from yelling and swinging a fistful of fire at her teacher.
Zhi shook her head once, still calm.
"You're a smart girl, P'Li. You are just as aware as I am of one way to stop the pain. You threatened me with it just a moment ago." She spoke of P'Li potentially killing her as if she was merely discussing a Pai Sho move.
"You're scared of that ability, so you're projecting your fears onto others. Pity, as I would have stood no chance against you, were you a fully realized combustionbender."
P'Li gaped at her wordlessly, too outraged to even speak. How dare she even suggest that?
"If there was a way to get rid of it without burning half my face," she pressed through clenched teeth, "I'd do it in a heartbeat. I want nothing to do with it."
Zhi didn't reply for a while, standing there in quiet contemplation. Compared to her stoic remarks, it was a welcome change.
"There is a way to close your chakra for good. It's painful and irreversible, and can cause unpleasant side effects, but not impossible."
P'Li blinked in shock. Out of every possible reply, she hadn't expected to hear this. Her ire vaporized like mist in the sun.
"What side effects?" she uttered.
"Statistically, there's not enough significance to tell for sure," she shrugged. "Waves of dizziness, disorientation, loss of vision, hallucinations."
That was to be her fate if she refused to be human artillery?
"You're lying."
"I wish I was," Zhi said, shoulders slumping. She unrolled the scroll; her attention was no longer on P'Li.
"What a crime. An ability once so valued had lost all respect and its wielders live ostracized."
Against her better judgement, P'Li leaned closer to see. Zhi titled the scroll to her in a wordless invitation.
The first thing she noticed was a faded watercolour of a two-petaled lotus with an inverted triangle in the middle. Dense script surrounded it from each side.
"In people other than firebenders, the development of Ājñā signified a high spiritual energy, seeing past appearances into the true essence, even ability to glimpse into the future," Zhi pointed to the corresponding parts of the text.
"Oldest sources speak of people with the rare gift of making things disappear. From the way it describes intense concentration and steady flow of breath, we conclude it might be the the first mention of combustionbending, several generations after Avatar Wan."
P'Li was thankful for Zaheer's explanation from the morning, otherwise she wouldn't know what to make of the interval. Zhi focused on another part of the text, adorned with an illustration of a vertical eye.
"The mention of forehead tattooing comes from much later," Zhi continued. "Some combustionbenders discovered it makes it easier to focus their qì and also presents them to the world as extraordinary. Some Air Nomads took note of the tatooing technique being connected to their practices. Later, it became a mark of mastery - to achieve it was a great honor."
The information contradicted everything P'Li had been taught about the ability. Why was Zhi telling her this of all things? If she intended to change her mind...
"Because the skill was so rare, firebenders speculated if it could be learned. Most people are born with more or less equal distribution of qì in their chakras, but with years of rigorous meditation and special focus exercises, Ājñā could be activated. But since it was a very long process, scholars speculated how to quicken it. Some considered the tattoo to be the actual key."
P'Li had a bad inkling about how it must have ended. Were it so simple, Zhi would have probably already done it, among many others.
"All it actually led to was total destabilization of existing pathways. The tattoo opened a channel that constantly drained qì of the user, leading to loss of focus, severe exhaustion and wasting. The efforts were obviously discontinued."
Her stomach grew heavy. Even though P'Li didn't remember experiencing something like that, she felt sick over the fate of people who were used for such experiments. Could she really be so naive to think they'd volunteered out of free will?
She didn't want to delve too deep into that. However, her curiosity burned too much to cut Zhi's history lesson short.
"You said people are usually born with... even distribution or so," she attempted to stick to the terminology. "Does it mean there are exceptions?"
Zhi's mouth corners lifted with brief approval. "You're starting to understand."
"Most known combustionbenders were descendants of one bloodline. Their Ājñā was extremely developed since birth, which usually first showed in adolescence, but in extreme cases, in little children as well. While it meant that they didn't need to spend years on acquiring their powers, there were other obstacles to overcome. An overactive Ājñā imbalances other chakras - the accumulated qì can cause persistent headaches, or even seizures. It constantly pulls the current upwards, thus it tends to manifest in unusually tall appearance."
It wouldn't exactly take a genius to figure out which one was her case. P'Li felt the words as added weight on herself. The truth she'd suspected from the very start - she couldn't run from it or choose a different fate. She was born like this, the ability written into every cell of her body.
"When the symptoms show up, it's crucial to redistribute the qì in other pathways. If done from early childhood, it can even reduce the chakra back to usual levels, but not many attempts were made to fully confirm it. But once it's enhanced by the focus tattoo like yours is, it will never shrink back, only if a hit of considerable force closes it down and disrupts the flow completely. Unfortunately, it comes with aforementioned side effects."
Her gaze skimmed over the length of the scroll - depictions of stances, sketches of qì currents closely resembling her earlier experience, breathing techniques. It would take hours for her to read through it all. Now, she was interested in one thing only.
"How do I stop the headaches?"
"Release the gathered qì," P'Li flinched at that, "or redirect it, just like I said. You can read all about it here," she pointed to the corresponding section. P'Li spread out the yellowed page to read with more ease.
Zhi stepped back slightly, releasing her hold on the scroll, letting it rest in P'Li's hands.
"You'll need to be careful at first. You've lived your whole life with unregulated Ājñā, so if you deplete it too much too fast, it would cause a deficiency. You would get unbearably tired and unfocused, likely."
P'Li didn't find the information the slightest bit discouraging, too caught up in what it all meant for her. She din't have to be a mindless victim of her power, without a choice for a different fate. Her body felt almost weightless with relief; she wouldn't be surprised to see herself floating above the ground.
Her teacher still watched her reaction inconspicuously, strange light in her eyes.
"Thanks, Zhi," she murmured. Despite her taunts and coarseness, she gave P'Li more than she'd dared to hope for.
Zhi let a small smile upturn her mouth. "Make good use of it."
The moment felt charged with rare tenderness. P'Li watched her teacher with unabashed interest, wondering why she didn't even want anything in return.
Zhi vigorously brushed the dust off her robes.
"I expect you to continue your hard work," she said, back to business. "Soon we may need all the help we can get."
P'Li itched to ask more, but Zhi shook her head before she could open her mouth.
"You're not ready yet. All in due time," she brushed her off and then went to pick up her small rucksack. The session was over.
Normally, P'Li would fume that her teacher read her so openly, but other things occupied her more. She had plenty of reading to get through.
"Did you enjoy yourself?" Xai Bau asked as Zaheer approached their usual training spot, hours later than usual. It could pass for a lighthearted question if it weren't for the almost prodding way Xai Bau searched his eyes.
"I did, in fact," Zaheer responded calmly. He'd done nothing that deserved ill consequences - he even took care to inform his teacher that he'd be late. As displeased as he was about it, Xai Bau said he never intended to restrict Zaheer's freedom as long as he remained diligent in his studies.
"You didn't exactly mention company," he raised one eyebrow, arms crossed.
"I wasn't aware I had to," Zaheer replied. Why was this old thing an issue still?
Xai Bau frowned deeply, full of scorn. "How long do you plan on babysitting her?"
His bafflement quickly turned into indignation. Zaheer could understand his teacher being upset with him, but badmouthing P'Li? He wouldn't let it pass by.
"Is that what you're calling it? I'll have you know, she's bright and determined and works hard to improve," he argued, heat within rising to give fuel to his words.
Xai Bau didn't appear impressed.
"Zhi seems to think so too," he sneered. "But that old hag is a hypocrite. She can't see past her fascination with someone not even willing to work on the only thing she'd not subpar in."
"Leave her out of this," he retorted. "I will not neglect my duties like this again if that's what you're angry about. But it was all my idea, not hers," he attempted to explain and reach a compromise, even though the idea of meditating with P'Li every morning indeed had its appeal. Maybe it could help them both.
"What good is training if you're distracted anyway?" Xai Bau challenged, spitting it out like poison.
"You're misunderstanding," he argued. Distracted with what? Nothing could stop his dedication to Red Lotus objectives. Xai Bau of all people should know that best.
"Maybe I'm just seeing what you deny to yourself," he raised his voice at the end like a question. His gaze unnerved Zaheer, probing, almost provocative, even as he could still discern genuine concern.
"I have no idea what you mean," Zaheer said flatly, not being able to shake off a feeling as if he was on trial of some sort. He'd greatly appreciate if Xai Bau told him sincerely what he'd accused him of, because Zaheer for the life of him couldn't see it.
Xai Bau finally broke off their staring match.
"You'll see soon, hopefully not too late," he said, proceeding to confuse Zaheer even more, but the dismissal in his tone was clear.
"We're leaving tomorrow. I need you to be at your peak focus. In a few weeks, we'll face our biggest target yet."
Zaheer recognized it now - the particular way his features hardened, resembling a marble statue; the cool resolution in his voice, like always before a mission.
"You don't mean-" his breath caught, suddenly aware of how close they'd gotten. Zaheer didn't think he'd visit it again, let alone so soon - encased in walls that protected its festering core, trapping innocent people in someone else's power plays.
"Yes," Xai Bau confirmed, his smile brittle and dangerous. "It's time to take down Hou-Ting."