"I don't want to talk to her!" Jasper hears Lapis yell, waking her from her nap.
"Welp, she's here and she won't leave, I tried," Peridot says. "Just talk to her, maybe y'all can end this on good terms." Jasper lifts her head as Peridot walks out into the living room. "She's not in the mood to talk, but now is as good as any," Peridot says in a resigned tone.
"Yeah, I'm sorry about this Peridot," Jasper says before getting up and heading into Lapis's room. "Lapis," Jasper says closing the door behind her.
"Go away Jasper. I don't want to talk to you ever again," Lapis says from her spot in the darkest corner of her room.
"I'm not leaving Lapis," Jasper says and pauses. "Look, I don't know where this is going to go, maybe today is the end but I just couldn't let you .. let us leave off the way we did."
"What do you want Jasper?"
Jasper runs her hands through her hair. "Look, you don't even have to say a word, just listen. I love you Lapis, I do and I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you. I never wanted it to ever get to the point where we've argued so much that the only words that come out of our mouths is 'I hate you'."
Lapis doesn't say anything but stares at Jasper.
"When you screamed you hated me, it made me realize that we have gotten to the point where I never wanted us too be. This," Jasper gestures between herself and Lapis, "is not healthy. I needed someone to tell me that. It's not healthy that we argue this much. It's not healthy that I'm breaking you down. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to our relationship. I don't want to leave you, I love you, but maybe it'll be better, maybe you'll be better of if I wasn't in your life."
Lapis stands as Jasper lets out the last part. "I don't want you out my life and I'm sorry I screamed I hated you. I was just so mad that no matter what Garnet is always there and then you defended her. I just hit my limit."
Jasper looks down. 'I think it's time I stop lying to her and myself.' "Five years ago Garnet broke up with me. I mean, she had every right to, I was a horrible girlfriend, just like I am to you."
"You're not a horrible girlfriend, I am!" Lapis interrupts.
Jasper shakes her head. "Let me finish. I was a bad girlfriend. I tried to drown all my problems away with alcohol .. like now. My drinking just got worse after the breakup. Then I met you and even though you didn't like my drinking, I cut down, for you. Yet every once in a while, I binge. I love you Lapis, I truly do, but I know that I also love and am still in love with Garnet. She's not going anywhere and the worse part is that that's all you need for us to be together; is for her to be out of my life. Yet she's not just an ex-girlfriend Lapis, she's one of my closest friends, one of the few friends I actually have. I can't lose her."
"What about me!" Lapis screams.
"I can't lose you either but we can't keep doing this. I can't keep doing this to you," Jasper pauses and looks at Lapis. "I know you're going to hate this, but we talked about you and I's relationship. She told me not to walk away but just keep letting you know that I'm here. And I am here, I will always be here, but I can't be here in the way you want. She's always going to be there and it's unfair of me to force you into accepting something that clearly bothers you enough, someone that's constantly constantly causing arguments and pain between us. I hope you can understand."
"So, you're choosing her over me?"
Jasper shakes her head. "No, I'm trying to give you a chance at happiness." A lone tear slides down Jasper's cheek. "You know Peridot said out of all the relationships she's seen you in, she's never seen you like this, this often. And that's my fault. I fucked up .. again. I don't want to ruin love for you. I love you Lapis, but I'm not good for you."
"Are you going back to her?"
"She's not going to take me and honestly, I'm no good to anyone like this." Another tear falls from Jasper's eyes but this time Lapis is there to wipe it away.
"I love you," Lapis says before leaning up and claiming Jasper's lips.
"I love you too," Jasper says pulling away. "I don't know if I'll see you later, so good luck. Be happy," with that Jasper opens the door and walks into the living room.
Peridot watches as Jasper walks out of Lapis' room. There was some yelling but then it quieted. "Jasper," Peridot whispers.
Jasper turns to look at Peridot. "I'm sorry about the trouble I caused. Be sure to take care of her."
Peridot nods her head. "But where are you going?" she blurts out.
"I need a drink." Jasper follows it with a short humorless laugh.
"Amethyst is at the bar waiting for you. I told her you'll meet her there. Just figured that's where you'd go after this and you'll need a friend," Peridot says.
Jasper smiles a soft smile. "Thanks Peri. I meant what I said earlier. I respect what you have to say. Lapis has a good friend in you. Maybe after all this, we could try a friendship too."
Peridot laughs softly. "I already consider you a friend."
"See y'all around." With that, Jasper walks to the door, opens it and walks out, closing it behind her.