HEY GUYS! So, I'm back with another update. The reason I haven't updated sooner is because I found my Nintendo 3DS (that I lost for almost A FUCKING YEAR) and I decided to replay Animal Crossing: New Leaf... and if you played any games in the Animal Crossing series, you should know that takes up a shit ton of time.

DAMN YOU ANIMAL CROSSING

Just kidding. XD

Also, I'm listening to Beautiful Pain by Eminem ft. Sia while writing this, so I'm sorry if some parts come out depressing near the end (even though they probably won't).

Reviewer Replies

writersoftheuniverse: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU REVIEWED TWENTY MINUTES AFTER I UPDATED AKSBEHFHXBCHCBVUVXHN XD Thank yoooooou~ For the Allies, I have something hilarious planned for it. XD

KimiCapucciny: Yes. Yes. So much yes. XD Thank you so much! WE SHALL SEE. XD

NaituoIngu: Here you go! *hands you chapter* OMG THANK YOU. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU LOVE THIS SO MUCH. THERE ARE SO MANY BETTER AUTHORS OUT THERE THAN ME. *cries*

awesomealixe: SO MANY PEOPLE LOVE THIS SO MUCH I DON'T UNDERSTAND LIKE OH MY GOD. Not that I'm complaining or anything. XD Thank you! To be honest, I'm more of a England and Canada fangirl (PLEASE DON'T KILL ME JAPAN FANGIRLS ;A;).

Disclaimer: Hetalia belongs to Himaruya-san~!

. . .

Jesus Christ...

It's only been two days and I want to kill myself.

I mean, I love Italy (Not in that way, you fucking perverts!), but Jesus Christ above, he gets so fucking annoying after awhile.

Italy fangirls, I am ready to be brutally slaughtered.

But seriously, do you know how it feels to wake up with an Italian jumping on your back?

It fucking sucks. And hurts like hell.

To be honest with you, I'm so glad I have small boobs.

Anyway...

If I was Germany, I would have murdered Italy by now.

Just saying.

Sigh...

I miss my world so fucking much you wouldn't believe it.

. . .

I was flipping through my sketchbook out of pure boredom when I saw Italy walk toward with a ukulele in his hand.

"Hey Germany, come listen, I wrote a song especially for you!"

"Vhat? Even zough I am your enemy? Okay, let me hear it."

Oh yeah, I forgot about Italy's song... this will be hilarious, for sure.

Italy started singing his song for Germany.

It was... um, interesting?

The next thing I knew, I was holding a box with Italy in it, still singing, and a bald guy, who was probably Italy's boss, saying, "Welcome home, Italy."

. . .

"Kiki~ Let's go back to Germany's!"

I looked up from the book I was reading and replied, "Why? It's pretty obvious he doesn't want us around."

"Please~?"

I sighed. "Fine. Let's go."

Italy hugged me. "Thank you, Kiki!"

I pushed him off. "Yeah, yeah, let's just go."

. . .

Italy and I drove to Germany's country, and he said that we should walk to his house.

"Why?" I asked.

"Since World War I is over, we should be fine!"

I knew the real reason that Italy wanted to walk: he wanted to flirt with some girls.

My assumptions were correct. I rolled my eyes at some pick-up line Italy said. I learned my lesson from flirting a long time ago.

"Hey there cutie."

I turned around and saw a boy that looked to be my age. I blushed bright red and replied, "U-um... hello..."

The boy leaned his hand on the locker next to mine. "What's a pretty girl like you doing by yourself?"

I clutched my books tighter. "U-uh... I..."

The boy chuckled and said, "Why don't I walk you to your next class?"

The grip on my books loosened. "O-okay..."

We started walking and the boy asked, "What's your name, cutie?"

I blushed again and answered, "Aphrodite Johnson, but you can call me Kiki, it's what all my friends call me..."

He laughed and pointed his thumb at his chest. "Name's Nanahara Satoshi."

I snapped out of my flashback when I saw Italy walk back to me. "Okay, let's go to Germany's now!"

I glared at him and said, "You had to let some hormones out first?"

The next thing I knew, Italy was crying at my feet and shouting, "I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T-A HURT ME! I HAVE RELATIVES IN YOUR COUNTRY!"

I sighed and said, "Okay, okay, I forgive you."

Italy hugged me. "Thank you, Kiki!"

I pried him off and asked, "Do you even know my home country?"

He answered immediately. "Greece?"

"Yeah. I'm half-American, too."

"Actually Kiki, you look more Japanese than American." Italy said, surprisingly serious.

I blinked and responded, "To be honest with you, I get that a lot."

"You do?"

"Yeah. It's kinda weird..."

. . .

Italy and I made it to Germany's house where he was... talking to himself... apparently...

Italy started randomly floating around everywhere, so I had to chase him around to make sure he didn't break anything, because Germany would be on my ass if he did, I mean, the guy has to make cuckoo clocks twenty-four seven to pay back France, he's probably pissed...

I eventually started floating too, and don't ask how, because I don't know either, and it ended with me falling on my face.

I'm so glad my mom gave me leggings with my skirt.

Italy stopped floating everywhere and asked Germany, "Germany! Help me find a job! My family has become extremely poor!"

The next thing I knew, Germany threw me and Italy out of his house.

Italy and I came to the window and told Germany about his money problems and how he needed a job.

I cut in and said, "Please, Germany? I'm really hungry and Italy won't stop bothering me!"

Germany sighed. "Oh Italy..."

It looks like the begging worked.

. . .

Italy and I got a job making cuckoo clocks with Germany. To be honest, it actually wasn't that bad. I was able to get on Germany's good side, and Italy finally started giving me some peace and quiet.

I sighed. My hands hurt... I put my hammer down and dug through my messenger bag. I must have caught Italy's attention, because he came over to me and asked, "What are you doing, Kiki?"

"I'm taking a break. My hands are cramping like hell."

I pulled a book out of my bag. I flipped to where my bookmark was and started reading.

Italy looked over my shoulder at the book and asked, "What are you reading?"

"It's called Battle Royale by Koushun Takami." I answered, not taking my eyes off the page.

"What is it about?"

"It's about a group of high-schoolers who go on an island and they have to kill each other until only one remains." I explained.

Italy stayed silent after that and started reading along with me.

. . .

Well, apparently, Germany is attacking France again.

I guess he wants revenge on France for making him make cuckoo clocks all day, every day for, like, twenty years...

It probably sucked.

Italy and I stood by the TV, where the announcer was talking about the the German troops.

Italy grumbled. "I can't believe Mister Germany is attacking France again! It's like he has a grudge against Big Brother!"

I sighed. "Italy, if I was Germany, I would too."

Italy looked at me, confused. "Huh? What do you mean?"

I sighed again. "I would attack France, too. I mean, Germany did have to make cuckoo clocks for twenty years."

"Oh." Italy said stupidly. "By the way, how come you haven't aged these past years?"

I froze.

Shit.

I forget that time goes by super quickly in Hetalia.

Double shit.

"U-uh, I don't k-know..." I answered quickly (and very stupidly).

"Oh, okay!"

Italy, I thank the Lord above for your stupidity...

. . .

Italy walked over to Germany, with me close behind, and told him, "Germany! I give my undying support to your cause! We'll be best friends and-"

That was when Germany threw was out to the other side of the world.

Only to get thrown back a second later.

Italy (with a leaf on his head) told Germany about how he got his ass kicked and sent back.

That was when both of the countries started randomly blushing and having this conversation that was so freaking adorable I could barely stand it.

N-no Aphrodite...

Don't you dare have a fangasm...

Don't do it...

Don't-

"SO KAWAII!"

-do it.

Dammit.

. . .

Somehow, Germany and Italy ignored my fangasm.

Which I don't know how they did...

That was when Germany and Italy had almost every single Hetalia fangirl's favorite conversation.

"Friends? Ja, this could work... we don't have to kiss, do we?"

"Nope! Not unless you want to."

"Please do." I said, having a large blush on my cheeks and a small nosebleed.

Yes, I, Aphrodite "Kiki" Johnson, am a yaoi fangirl, and proud of it.

Don't like it?

Deal with it.

Italy and Germany both looked at me, Italy looking confused, and Germany, somehow pale and madly blushing, shocked.

You know, this is super random, but maybe this place isn't so bad after all.

. . .

"Italy! Aphrodite!"

"Yes Germany?" Italy asked when we walked over to the German nation.

"You know Germany, you can call Kiki." I said immediately.

Germany ignored me and announced, "Both of you, since Vorld Var II is going on at the moment, ve need a new ally."

"Really?" Italy asked.

"Hmm." I grunted, not paying attention and now reading a random book I found.

"Ja." Germany said, answering Italy's question and once again ignoring me.

"Who?" Italy asked.

"An acquaintance of mine..." Germany answered.

I still wasn't paying attention.

"His name is Japan."

I froze.

I totally forgot...

...we're meeting Japan in the next episode...

Fuck my life.

"Kiki?" Italy asked, poking me.

I'm so screwed...

. . .

Poor Kiki. I feel so bad for her. Not. XD

Kiki's meeting Japan in the next chapter! FINALLY! I'm surprised you guys didn't kill me by now.

When I was rewatching episode three to write this, I was so tempted to do what Kiki did and scream "SO KAWAII!" when that conversation between Germany and Italy came up. XD

I'm such a weirdo. XD

Kiki is indeed a yaoi fan. I told you, she was based off me, didn't I? XD

Anyway, I hope I didn't make Kiki's flashback too bad. If you didn't know, that was how she met Satoshi. He reminds me of France so much... XD

See you guys next time! Don't forget to review! I will give you all virtual Kiki plushies~ :D