Wilco – How to fight the loneliness
The first thing he sensed was the solemn and strange voices. He couldn't comprehend what they were saying, they were muffled by the constant ringing resonating inside his head.
Then a wave of coldness came crashing down upon his entire body, hitting all his nerves at once. That, however, was subsided by a touch on his arm. Although Adrien could not see who was grabbing his arm in such a strong grip, he couldn't help but find the touch familiar… Remarkably familiar. It transported him to better times when he found himself in his mother's arms. But that was impossible, wasn't it? She wasn't there. She was in a coma, trapped in his house's basement. The coldness returned as the memory of what his father had become over the years, of what he had made him do, came back to the front of his mind.
His throat was burning, something was stuck in there, and prevented him from breathing, he felt like he was choking, although not in the same manner he had felt when his father, Hawkmoth had tried to end his life. This time he was not feeling himself fade away. It was just that something was stuck in his throat, and it didn't seem to move, not even an inch.
Emerald eyes fluttered, battling against exhaustion to just open. Adrien was certain that he was not in the lair anymore. The smell was different. While the basement had this mouldy odour, due to all the plants and water, the room he was in had a sterile smell, clean. Was this how the afterlife smell like?
He finally managed to open his eyes, and if he was strong enough, he knew that they would widen at the woman staring in shock at him.
Adrien was alive! No moment in Émilie's life could ever be compared to this one as relief spread wildly upon her. He was looking at her, and she knew that he had recognized her.
Mother and son did not move their gazes away from each other for what felt like an eternity. Their wordless interaction was only interrupted by the coughs emanating from Adrien's frail body.
Coughs turned to choke sounds, and Émilie's heart ran out of space to beat suddenly. Relief turned to panic as she witnessed her son struggling to breathe for the second time in one day. "What's happening?" She looked pleadingly at the doctors who were now meddling with the ventilator connected directly into the teen's lungs.
"He's chocking with the tube." The older doctor answered rashly.
"I thought that was supposed to help him breathe!"
"Yes, but now he's conscious, and somehow can breathe on his own. He doesn't need the ventilator anymore. Nurse, prepare for extraction." The doctor ordered calmly.
"So, that's a good sign?" The blond woman asked hoping the nightmare was almost gone.
"Mrs Agreste, I don't know how to explain this, but it's a very good sign!" The doctor said in excitement.
The bluenette sprinted through the hospital corridors. She had to get to the room. She needed to see it with her own eyes. She only hoped that fixing the brooch had worked on fixing Adrien. It had to!
Marinette came to a halt. What if it didn't work? The miraculous seemed fine. Duusu had woken up, although she didn't speak to her. The minute she checked that the blue kwami was in fact awakened, the bluenette darted out of the storage room towards the ICU.
She took a deep breath, her legs felt like they were made of lead from how heavy they felt. So, at a slow pace, she continued her seemingly endless journey through the corridors.
He kept staring at the blonde woman, who he had missed so much, as the doctors started to remove the offensive tube from his throat. Adrien could feel it sliding inside his windpipe, and despite the pain that he felt as they kept meddling with the apparatus, he could not tear his gaze from his mother.
The medical team placed an oxygen mask on his face, and he felt as if an empty, uncomfortable void had replaced the breathing tube in his throat, perhaps he had been breathing through it for too long, and his body was no longer used to breathe on its own.
How long had he been there? How long had his mother been awakened, holding his arm?
"Now, I know that your throat is aching, but I need you to speak now, can you do that, Adrien?" The old doctor distracted him from his thoughts.
Green eyes drifted downwards, towards his hands. Bandages covered his wrists, which he was certain were covering the bruises inflicted by the time he had been held captive by his father. A single tear managed to escape trailing down his face at the memory.
"Ade, sweetie? Mama is here, I'm back! Say something… Please…" His mother pleaded softly, as if afraid she might break him.
"Say something… Please…" Nathalie pleaded softly, as if afraid she might break him.
But, how could he speak? What do you say when your mother goes missing, disappears into thin air? He could not speak, because his throat had closed itself, something was blocking it. He could not think, because his entire world had crumbled down, just now.
He had no one else. Father was always busy, Nathalie only cared because it was her job. Chloé was busy at school. So, what does a person say, when the only one who cared about them disappears?
His lower lip trembled, Adrien had no longer control over his body, water gathered in his eyes and his face was suddenly wet.
"That, that d-doesn't make any sense! H-how is that p-possible, Nathalie? No- no one disappears into… into thin air! You're lying! You-" He didn't manage to finish what he was saying. His mind was racing, and his mouth could not keep up with it.
It just didn't make any sense! How can she be missing? Why was she missing? They had dinner together last night, she seemed fine… Had she run away? But why? Was she not happy in the mansion? Was he not enough for her? Of course, he wasn't, how can anybody with no friends whatsoever be enough for anyone?
A thought, in particular, crossed his mind. Of course! Father must know where she is! He must!
"Where's father?" He rasped. His voice had become small, as the lump in his throat only seemed to have grown.
"He's in his office, but, Adrien, he asked not to be disturbed," Nathalie answered.
The teen didn't hear the last part, as soon as he learned that father was in the study, wobbling legs guided him there.
He could not think straight, he didn't know how he got there, but as he's suddenly aware of his surroundings again, he's inside the dark study.
"Where is she?" He rushed to his father side, who was looking at the Gustav Klimt's inspired painting of the woman who owned both their hearts.
"She's gone." He simply stated, in a coldness that ran through the young teen's spine.
He stood frozen, green eyes searching for any sign of emotion from his father. However, the man did not budge. He just stood there, his back turned towards his son, his hands clasped behind in fists. It was at that moment that he realized that, at the young age of thirteen years old, he had lost his mother, and soon enough he would lose his father if he hadn't already.
A hand rested on his shoulder, and when Adrien looked back, Nathalie was already guiding him to the prison that was his room. He ceased to function altogether. His lungs were no longer working, his legs were now too heavy to move, so they just collapsed underneath him. Breathing had stopped to be an automatic function, and he faintly heard someone screaming his name. His vision was swaying, and the edges of his vision field had now turned black.
God! He wanted to say something, how could he deny anything his mother asked? But he just couldn't speak. A lump was blocking his throat, and no matter how hard he tried to fight it, he was just too exhausted.
His maman was now sitting on the bed, her delicate touch was on his arm, as she kept encouraging him to speak. His wet eyes did not drift from hers. He tried to move his arms or his legs, but they just would not budge. They were just so impossibly heavy…
When he opened his eyes again, he was no longer on the floor. He had been moved to the bed and covered by blankets. Adrien moved his knees to his chest, although he found it incredibly hard to do so.
The room was dauntingly dark and despite the fact that Paris was now in the middle of Summer, it felt unbelievable cold.
The teen tried to move his head or his arms, however, just like his legs, they were also too heavy to move even an inch.
He felt a weight moving on the bed, and it was at that moment that he noticed that he wasn't alone in the room. Nathalie was sitting right next to him, staring at him and waiting for some kind of reaction from the grieving teen.
She rested her hand on his hair, stroking it softly, in an unprecedented gesture, when she noticed that he was awake.
"Are you feeling better?" She trod carefully, "I'm sorry that I had to give you a sedative, but you were having a panic attack, I… didn't know what else to do…"
"Your body must be aching, your heart stopped not long ago, we only want to check if your head is okay." The doctor explained.
Adrien inhaled a large gulp of air through his oxygen mask, mentally preparing himself to speak to the woman he had missed dearly for the last year.
"Is she really gone?" He rasped, hopeful eyes searching for an answer from his father's assistant.
"Are you… really here?" He rasped, his voice no louder than a wheeze.
Émilie broke down the moment she heard those words. Her own exhaustion, combined with the relief she felt at hearing her son after so long, was a deadly combo in breaking down the walls she had built in her mind in order to keep herself together.
She kissed her baby's forehead, stroking his soft sun-kissed locks, "I am…" she sobbed, "I'm here, Ade! Everything will be alright…"
Tears were now making fat trails down the faces of both mother and son. Émilie lightly rested her head on the crook of Adrien's neck, feeling his constant pulse, another proof that he was okay.
"Mom…" her son breathed, which caused the blonde woman to snap her head to look at him in the eyes, "I'm sorry… I hurt people… friends…" His frail voice was rambling, muttering apologies, backed up by the sincere regret in his emerald eyes.
The blonde woman could never be prouder of her son. Despite everything that had been done to him, he was still prioritizing other people's happiness over his, when others would have simply given up. "Sweetie, you don't have to apologize. None of this is your fault." She kept stroking his hair, "I am so proud of the young man you had become. What you did for me, for your friends… your friends… they told me what happened, what Gabriel made you do. You were always so kind, so strong… I only wish I could have stayed and watched you grow, I never wanted to leave you," Her voice quivered, "I promise you will never be alone again. You have me, you have your friends, who are just outside waiting to see you…"
Suddenly, as if summoned by her words, the door to the small ICU room opened, revealing a frantic Marinette, who was breathing heavily, as if she had just run a marathon inside the hospital.
Hope you liked the chapter! This one had a few flashbacks as I wanted to contrast the moment Adrien learned his mother had gone missing with their reencounter. My headcanon is that Nathalie was the one to break the news to Adrien.
Next chapter: "You are too important to me! Promise me you will never pull a stunt like that ever again!" She said overcoming her stuttering.
See you next chapter!