Aware (Awah-ray) is a Japanese word that describes a brief, fading moment of transcending beauty.

Aware

The frigid air whipped around the carriage, chilling Kai's bones as he walked beside the wagon. Jay and Cole sat on the bench at the front, pretending to find something interesting about the buildings around them instead of engaging in conversation.

Kai had thought that time would break the silence between them, but nine hours of traveling through town and forest had proven him wrong. The sun was setting on an a day that they would all agree hadn't been their best.

The inn Jay had suggested they stay at for the night was located on the border between the Middle and the North, in one of the less populated towns where they were less likely to be noticed by patrols. Kai could see it ahead and to the left of where they walked on the road. It was old. But not in a dilapidated way. It was more...quaint. Antique. A sign hung on the eaves, covered in a layer of frost that glittered in the light of the inviting fire on the other side of the windows. White Rose.

Already Kai yearned for the warmth that he could practically see radiating from the little inn. His body shivered harder, begging him to enter, perhaps get a strong drink to help him forget about his terrible morning.

Jay flicked the reins with his hand, ordering the two horses pulling their carriage to stop. They obeyed willingly. "This is it," he said, white puffs of air escaping his lips. He dropped the reins into Cole's hands and leaped from his lofty seat.

Kai followed him up the steps, pulling his cloak up to cover his eyes. He hadn't shaved in several days- again- so his hair was growing unfashionably across his face. If nothing else, it would keep him from being recognized.

Boisterous laughter made its way to Kai's ears from within the White Rose. He suspected that the reason the streets were so empty was because everyone was in here.

Jay shoved the door open, then sauntered in with the confidence of a man who controlled the world. "Oi!" he shouted, making Kai jump. "Grayren, you still alive?"

A young man with blond hair and pale yellow eyes looked up from the mug he was filling. He saw Jay and beamed. "Well," he said over the noise of his loud customers. "If it isn't the Lightning Thief. It's been a few months, uhma!"

Jay laughed, then dug into his pocket for the coins Kaytake had given them. "Hey, I've got a favor to ask." He tossed small sack over the heads of a few patrons sitting at the counter, and Grayren caught it. "I've got a carriage outside, and some luggage. And three more people."

Grayren pocketed the coins without counting them. "Porter!" he shouted. Did no one speak quietly in here? Kai feared he'd get a headache from all the bitter smells and noises he was being attacked with. "Oi! Got a customer!" He skirted the counter and stopped before the two men. "Lodging for five?" he said. "Not a problem. One room?"

"Two," Jay said. "We've got a couple women."

"Excellent. I'll have the missus start the fires. It's a chilly night."

"Thanks," Jay said. "Say, how's she doing?"

"Jess?" Grayren beamed. "Got a kid on the way..."

Their conversation continued like this the whole way out to the carriage, where Cole was still sitting with that perpetual look of boredom.

The porter- a tall man, built like an ox- appeared out of nowhere and collected the few belongings that Kai had brought with him, then disappeared again.

"Your carriage and horses will be taken care of," Grayren said, hand on Jay's shoulder. "What kind of heist did you pull to get this fancy thing?"

Kai didn't care to stick around anymore. He went to the side carriage door and opened it.

"How's she doing?" he asked Varasach.

"I can't tell," Varasach said. She sat on one of the two benches with Besai. Both were wrapped in furs. "Her skin is still frozen. Drank a whole cup of water. Hasn't thrown any of it up yet."

Besai leaned against Varasach, eyes open and staring into space. Her skin was pale as if all the color had been drained from it. She wasn't shivering.

Kai climbed into the box and stroked Besai's icy cheek. "Ready to go, Besai?" he said.

Besai blinked, then focused her eyes on Kai's face. She looked to be too tired to smile. "Mmm. Yes." She slowly sat upright, then shrugged off the furs.

Kai unclasped his cloak and draped it over her bony shoulders. "Thanks for helping, Vara."

Varasach stood, nodding once to him before leaping from the carriage to join Cole.

Kai took Besai's hand and helped her up. "Do you still feel nauseous?" he asked.

Besai shook her head. "No. Eet just..." she yawned, "...aches."

"Aches where?"

"Everywhere."

"Hmm." Kai helped her down from their transportation.

"Oi, Jay," Grayren said. "More of these foreign women? Where are you getting them from?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Jay said. He looked at Besai. "How's she feeling?"

Kai wondered if she was getting tired of hearing that same question over and over. "Fine enough," he said. "She needs to go to bed."

"Ah, she's not feeling well?" Grayren said. "I'll take you to your room, then. Hurry now." He ushered everyone into the White Rose and shut the heavy door with a Bang that made Kai wonder if they were prisoners or something.

They went through the main room under the eyes of many recipients in the main room. But once they saw Jay's face they quickly turned away. Kai could not tell whether they were displaying respect or fear.

Up a flight of stairs, then to the end of the hall. Grayren tossed two keys to Jay. "Both have two beds. One of you will have to take the floor. Sorry."

Jay handed a key to Kai, then pointed to the door to their right. "It's fine," he said. "We're used to it."

Kai unlocked the door and helped Besai inside. A fire danced lethargically within a fireplace; it had likely been started by the 'missus' mere moments before. Two cozy beds sat side by side, and a few unlit candles were set atop a round table in the room's center.

After placing Besai on the nearest bed, he kissed her forehead and turned to the innkeeper, who was still chattering with Jay. "Excuse me," he said. "Can we get some tea up here? Something to help her relax."

Grayren beamed at him. "I'll have it up as soon as possible," he said. "Ah. Speaking of which, I have customers downstairs. Forgive me, gentlemen. I must take my leave." He pressed a fist to his chest in a strange gesture- was it a salute?- and ran back down the hall.

Jay tapped Varasach's shoulder. "Hey. You're sharing that room with Besai, okay? Us men will take the other." He shot a cheesy grin in Kai's direction. "This doofus gets the floor."

Kai cringed. It's not like I don't deserve it, he told himself, but it still hurts.

His expression must have been glaringly obvious because Jay's face softened, and he sighed. "I was kidding," he said as he unlocked the door. "I'll take the floor."

"No," Kai said. He pushed past Jay and into the room, which was like an inverted image of the previous one, except that his baggage sat on the floor. How did that man get them up here so fast? "I've gotten us into this mess, so I'll take the brunt of the punishment."

"Jay never said that it was a punishment," Cole said. He sat on the bed furthest from the fireplace and set his cane against the wall. "Stop being so serious."

"That's big talk from a guy like you," Kai said snappishly. He grabbed a spare blanket from the foot of Jay's bed and planted himself on the floor, legs folded.

"Suit yourself," Jay said, shrugging. His cloak and shirt were carelessly tossed aside, and he climbed into the bed. "I don't even want to eat anything." He yawned. "I'm so tired."

"Sitting in a carriage all day is a gruesome task." Cole undid his shirt buttons as he spoke.

"You know what I meant," Jay said.

"Sure, Lightning Boy."

"It's Thief, Cole. Lightning Thief."

"Of course." Cole folded his shirt and set it at the foot of his bed. Bandages still covered much of his chest because of his rib injuries, but the whip marks were mostly healed. Granted, they were swollen and red, but at least they were no longer open and festering.

Kai spread the blanket over himself and laid down, eyes staring at the orange flickers on the ceiling. He desperately wanted to go to Besai and help her, but he felt too ashamed to go near her. Varasach was more than capable of helping her, so why risk getting everyone into more trouble?

"Are you cold?"

Kai lifted his head- and an eyebrow- at Jay. "What?"

"You're sitting next to the fire and wearing your shirt. Don't you like, I don't know, sweat when you sleep? It's a bit gross to sleep in the same shirt you're going to wear tomorrow."

"I don't care."

"Don't care?" Jay said. "You're a nobleman, for Mena's sake. Are you going to tell me that-"

"I don't care," Kai said. He huffed as he let his hand fall to the floor.

"I know it's there," Cole said. "Why do you hide it?"

"Why do you hide yours?" Kai was pleased with this response. Surely that would shut him up. Surely now he'd be able to-

"It's the shame," Cole said. He leaned forward, eyes staring into Kai's intently from across the room. "The guilt. Knowing that you're the Overlord's property. It's a lifelong reminder of everything he has done, is doing, and might do to you."

"...Yeah."

"But it's beyond that." Cole unwrapped a portion of his bandage, revealing the black dragon. A huge, ugly mark among a thousand smaller scars. "It's fearing that no one will ever see you as a person. That your own family will reject you because of what you've become: a filthy, worthless animal that's been trained to roll over at its master's feet."

Kai feared that if he didn't break eye contact soon his mask would break. Stupid Cole, making him feel weak. Pulling apart every facade he had worked so diligently to put up to cover his...

Jay watched them with an 'I'm interested in this, but I'm trying not to appear so' expression.

Cole traced the dragon's head with his thumb. "I got this while being a selfish fool. I have nothing to be proud of. You got your mark defending that fool, which proves that you are an upright man. Feel proud of that."

"But..." Kai averted his gaze. "What I did last night...causing all this trouble. We would not have left in such a dishonorable way if I'd just... Father left for the Middle, making a show of pretending I don't exist. Cole, I didn't even get to say goodbye to my sister."

Cole laughed soft and dryly. "At least you were able to part knowing that she loves you," he said.

"Still, what I did-"

"Stop going on and on about that," Jay said. "Yeah, it wasn't smart. But we forgive you." He pointed to the door. "She needs your help to battle whatever illness she has. Stop distancing yourself from her and just be there."

Kai blinked. "You...mean it?"

"Everyone longs for something that only they can protect," Cole said. "For you, that's Besai. Don't feel ashamed of it. Go and help her, or I'll be forced to do some painful thing to your miserable excuse for a face."

Kai stood and wadded his blanket under his arm. "Whatever you say, Cole," he said. "You clearly know best."

Cole snorted.

Kai nodded to the two men, smiling tiredly, and left the room. He stopped in the dark hallway a moment to compose himself, then lifted the latch to the other bedroom.

Varasach sat on Besai's bed, helping her drink a mug of some sweet smelling tea. She saw Kai and stood. "Yes?" she said.

Kai took the warm cup from her hands, praying to the First King that his eyes weren't watering. "I've got it," he said. "Thank you for all your help today."

Varasach returned his smile, then went to the table and poured herself a cup of the tea. "I want to go downstairs and find something to eat," she said. "You will probably be asleep by the time I get back."

"Sounds good," Kai said. "Try not to socialize with too many men. Who knows what kind of reputation they have."

"Okay." Varasach shut the door quietly behind her.

"Kai," Besai whispered hoarsely. She lifted a pale hand, which Kai took and kissed tenderly. She felt even colder than before, if such a thing could ever be possible.

Screw medicinal teas, Besai just needed warmth. He climbed onto the bed and held the mug to her lips. She drank in slow sips, as if each mouthful was a tiring exercise.

Once the cup was drained, Kai set it on the floor and pulled the blanket over both of them. "Do you feel cold?" he asked.

Besai nested herself next to him. "No," she said. "I feel warm."

That wasn't a good sign...

Kai pulled her body close. She needed to get warm, and she needed to do so fast.

Besai didn't even hesitate. She buried her nose in his shirt with a moan, arms tucked close to her body. "I hurt," she whispered. "My stomach...eet ees hurting."

Kai held her tightly, chin resting atop her head. Almost immediately, he started to shiver. It was like sleeping in a snowbank. A shuddering, sniffling snowbank.

"Kai?" she whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Do you...steel love me?"

"Why would you ask something like that?"

"I caused you trouble last night. I should not have done-"

"Don't say that," Kai said. "I need to be accountable for my own actions. I don't blame you."

"But...do you still love me?" Her face was hidden in his chest, but he was sure that she was crying.

Kai shut his eyes. Goosebumps from the cold were crawling up his back, warning him that most of his blood was flowing out of his arms and legs to protect his organs. He wondered if her body was doing the same.

"Always," he whispered. "I made a promise to you last night. We are one, Besai. You are mine, and I am yours."

Besai pushed herself away from him, eyes desperate. "Look at me," she said. "Look at me and promise. Please."

"Forever, Besai. I will never stop loving you." He stroked her cheek, then pressed their foreheads together. "Even the Overlord can't separate us."

Besai's breathing hitched, and her sobs came faster. "Why?" she said. "Why do you love me so much? I'm...weethout worth. A slave-"

Kai's lips stopped her words.

Time had no meaning. They could have kissed for five seconds, or it could have been five weeks. But it was the most beautiful kiss he had ever shared with her, and even five months wouldn't have been enough time to savor the bizarre feeling that coursed through his body. Of her bluish lips against his, tasting of tears and smelling of sharp peppermint tea.

There was no pain. Not even lust. In truth, it was a feeling that made Kai want to jump up and laugh. Run outside, command the wind to cease.

And by the Blades, he knew he could probably do it.

Love. That's what he felt. Like an all-consuming fire in his chest. Pure, strong, and wild.

A million years later, Kai separated their lips. He realized that his hand was still cupping her cheek, and he caressed it with his thumb. "Do you see it?" he said. "Do you feel it?"

Besai looked delirious, mouth parted and eyes glazed. She dropped her head to his chest, groaning softly. "Thank you," she whimpered. "Yes. I..." She clutched her stomach. "Eet...hurts."

Oh, no.

Kai looked around the room for anything she could vomit in. There was the teakettle on the table and a small washbasin. Too small.

He quickly pulled his shirt over his head. It would be enough, he was certain. She hadn't eaten anything today, so there wouldn't be much in her stomach to-

Red.

As her body strained every muscle it could to push her stomach inside-out, a sense of dread filled him.

Everything she threw up was thick and red and...

Besai was screaming between her gasps for air and coughs that sounded like they probably hurt her lungs a lot.

All of Kai's strength left him. This fantasy of him being able to stop wind...it was foolish. How could he do something like that he couldn't even stop his love's suffering? The nauseating smell of copper pervaded his nostrils, and for a brief moment he wanted to throw up, too.

When she was done, he carefully tied his shirt, closing all the vomit inside, and set it on the floor. He made her lay down, and she curled her body around her stomach, unable to keep quiet. He hoped no one was trying to sleep nearby.

He rubbed her back, wondering briefly if she would be disheartened if he cried with her. "You'll be okay," he said. "You'll be okay. Just sleep. Things will be better in the morning."

He felt that he was lying through his teeth as he repeated those words over and over again.

But as the hour grew later, he began to believe that it was the only optimistic thing he could say.

Cole awakened with the sun feeling, to his surprise and pleasure, rested and fresh. He immediately got up and put his shirt on, then took his cane in his left hand and stood. Something felt different about this morning, but he couldn't put his finger on it. The room was quiet; Jay was sleeping with his blanket on the floor. He must have moved around a lot in his sleep.

Aside from last night when it has been dark, this was the first time that Cole had seen Jay without a shirt. He wouldn't have thought much of it, but then he noticed Jay's ribs. They cast long shadows in the valleys of his skin, giving him a gaunt, emaciated appearance. Was Jay...starving himself?

No, that wasn't right. He had seen Jay eat breakfast and lunch yesterday. No dinner, but none of them had felt like eating then.

So why was he so skinny?

Cole exited the room quietly, intending to go down and arrange breakfast with Grayren. But he thought of Varasach and, feeling slightly guilty about not keeping her close last night- she was clingy, to say the least- he opened the door to the other bedroom.

The scent of blood brutally accosted him and he recoiled, tense. He searched the room for the source of the smell, and his eyebrows went up. Inside one of the beds was Kai, his back to Cole, arms wrapped around Besai, who was crying softly into his bare chest.

"She got worse?" Cole asked.

Kai jumped in surprise but did not raise his head. "Yeah," he said. His voice was hoarse.

"And you haven't slept, huh?"

"No. She did for...maybe an hour, but the pain woke her up."

Cole hummed. "I'll get something to help her with that," he said. "Come on, Vara. Let's-..."

The second bed was empty. Untouched, not a single wrinkle in the sheet.

"Where'd she go?" he asked.

Kai shrugged almost imperceptibly. "I...guess she never came back after saying that she wanted to find some food."

"What?" Cole dropped his cane. "Did she have money with her?"

Kai shrugged again.

"Well, how was she going to pay, then? If she didn't have money, then... Oh, no."

"What's wrong?" Kai asked, then made a soft shushing noise to Besai, whose soft whimpers made it clear that she was indeed fighting a lot of pain.

Cole picked up his cane and went for the door. "She was a...slave," he said. "She doesn't know anything about this world. If someone offered her a few coins in exchange for...services..."

Kai lifted his head, bloodshot eyes wide and alarmed. "Would she?"

"She might have felt obligated. You...just stay here with Besai. I'll go alone and find her."

Reluctantly, Kai laid his head back down, and Cole left the room. The metallic scent still lingered in his nostrils, fueling his desperation as he barreled down the hall. He nearly tripped over his feet more than once on his way down the stairs.

"Varasach!" he called, searching the faces of the morning crowd, all seated at tables and couches around the room. Several men and women looked up with raised eyebrows as if to say 'How much drink did you have?' but none stayed interested long enough to consider that perhaps he was actually in trouble.

"Oi, friend," Grayren said behind him, "did you lose something?"

Cole's free hand had a firm grip on the young innkeeper's shirt faster before could blink. "You," he snarled. "Where's Varasach? If you've let anything happen to her..."

Grayren's easy expression was replaced by one of fear. "Er...let me explain, sir," he said quickly. "The foreign child came down here last night, asking for something to eat. I obliged, of course. You see, Jay and I have this deal, since he's such a frequent customer: thirty copper chips buys him accommodations for himself and whatever companions he brings with him. So she gets whatever meal she wants on the menu, yes? We had to read it for her, but-"

Cole's voice could only be described as a panther growl. "Get to the point."

Grayren looked at the hand holding his shirt, and swallowed. "O-okay, sir. Well, halfway through her meal, this man approaches her. He's got a reputation for being a bit of a bed hopper, if you get my meaning. He strikes up a conversation with her, and she's all skittish. She picks at her food, swirling it around her plate as she answers his questions. Finally, he takes her arm and tells her to follow him to his room. She reluctantly obliges him-"

"Where is he?" Cole asked. "I'll rip him apart, the-"

"C-calm down, sir," Grayren said. "You didn't let me finish. You see, Walker warned me about these women. How they feel obligated to behave around men and all that. He said if anything were to happen, I should stop it immediately. Which I did. The man left. My porter ran him off. I-I'm so sorry, sir. I- Ooof!"

Cole dropped Grayren's shirt. He felt proud of himself for not strangling the pitiful man. "Where is she?"

Grayren pointed with a shaky finger to the fireplace. "Over there, sir," he said. "She was shaken right badly by her treatment, so..."

Cole didn't stay to hear the rest of it. Somewhere between Grayren and the armchairs situated around the fire, he realized that he'd dropped his cane. He also realized that he didn't care. He had enough adrenaline in his blood to keep him on his feet.

Varasach was on the chair closest to the fire, legs tucked under her chin as she slumbered peacefully.

"Vara," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "What in Mena's name..."

She awakened with a jolt, then relaxed when she saw it was him. "Cole," she said through a yawn, burrowing into his embrace. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Cole nearly laughed. "What's wrong is that you left your room. This place isn't safe."

"Mmm," Varasach said. "Yes. Not safe. But Grayren protected me."

"So that's it? You're just going to sleep in the main room because you think Grayren is going to have the time to protect you from every dog that comes through? Why didn't you come back after that?"

"I did," she said, yawning again. "But Besai was coughing up blood, and the room smelled bad. And you and Jay were sleeping, so I came down here. These seats are comfortable enough."

Cole chuckled ruefully and kissed her forehead. "I don't care if I'm sleeping," he said. "If something like last night happens again, you come and wake me so I can make him hurt. Got it, Via?"

Varasach nodded. "Thank you, Cole." Her eyes moistened, and she sniffed. "I...I thought it was over. I thought we were safe. Why does this happen?"

Cole figured that she was confused. Her only interaction with a man who hadn't been Transformed was himself and his team, so she had probably thought that all men in Ninjago had their moral standards. She had thought that she'd be safe anywhere on this island.

A false hope from the young, fragile mind of a girl.

"Corruption is everywhere," he said finally. He lifted Varasach to her feet, then wavered. He felt lightheaded and his heart was fluttering. "Not just on the Dark Island. Everyone has a bit of darkness in them, but the difference is that some of us choose not to embrace it."

Yikes. Where had that corny speech come from?

"Enough of this," Cole said. He used her shoulder to support himself as they walked back to where his cane lay. "Say, Grayren. What's for breakfast? Vara here likes fruity things."

Grayren stood and straightened his apron, which jangled quietly as his hands brushed the pockets. "We...have some apple sausage," he said.

"That'll do," Cole said, accepting his cane from Varasach. "Have enough for five people brought up in ten minutes, along with a strong mug of ginger tea. And ah," he patted the man's shoulder as he walked past, "sorry about that whole episode. I'm known to go into fits of rage when my family is in danger."