Chapter 1 – Coming Home

'Do you think we should go check on him?'

'He's been gone nearly an hour, he just said he wanted a shower, how long does it take to shower?'

'What if he's collapsed?'

'FRIDAY would have told us.'

'Maybe I should-'

'I'll go,' Steve says, standing up. 'It might give us chance to…' He doesn't finish, he doesn't need to. Everyone in the room knows that he and Tony need to talk. No one knows the true extent of why.

Ever since Tony had walked off that spaceship with Nebula supporting him, and the genius had collapsed into his arms it's taken every shred of his self-control not to pull the shorter man back to him.

'Just…try to keep the noise levels down,' Bruce sighs. 'And don't get him too worked up, he's in pretty bad shape, Steve.'

'I know,' he swallows and moves to the corridor which will take him to the room Tony is using. Every step his heart pounds a little faster, and he finds it a little harder to breathe. When he finally reaches Tony's door his hands are shaking as he knocks. 'Tony?' he calls when there's no answer.

'Fuck off,' comes a quiet reply, which Steve wouldn't have heard if not for his enhanced hearing.

Steve closes his eyes for a brief moment, and then opens the door, walking in and then closing it softly behind him.

'Do you not understand the meaning of the phrase "fuck off" now or something?' Tony's voice is still quiet, he's sitting on the end of the bed, still wearing what he came off the ship in, staring down at his hands.

'I couldn't just leave you in here, Tony.'

It's a harsh laugh that scrapes past the inventor's lips. 'But you could in Siberia?'

That hurts, but Steve knows he deserves it. 'Tony-'

'-save it, Cap. I don't want to hear any of it. You left. You left, Steve. You left me, without a backwards glance, with someone else. Why the fuck do you think I want to hear anything you have to say?'

'I don't,' he manages to get past his dry throat. 'You don't have to listen to anything I say, Tony. I just…I wanted to see if you were…I…' He can't finish any of his sentences, everything he starts trying to say sounds so wrong and meaningless.

'I couldn't even tell Rhodey everything I was feeling,' Tony sniffs. 'No one knew about us, Steve, how could I explain how much it hurt that you left me there and walked away with someone else when no one knew what we were to each other?'

'I can never make it right, Tony,' Steve takes a few steps towards him, 'I know I can't. I'm not asking to. I'm not asking for you to take me back, not when you're building a new life with Pepper, not when you've got everything you deserve within your grasp. I just…when you came off that ship and I saw you alive I just wanted to hold you again, and…'

'I can't wash them,' Tony says eventually, holding up his hands but still not looking up at Steve. 'I can't wash them, Steve, because if I wash them I'm washing the last bit of him away and I can't do it.'

'Who, Tony?' Steve sits next to the inventor now, desperately fighting against the bile rising in his throat as he wonders who this mystery 'him' is that may have taken his place in Tony's heart.

'Peter,' Tony's voice cracks, 'Spider-Man.'

'The kid from Germany? The one from Queens?'

Tony nods. 'He got on the ship with me, he followed me even though I told him to go back. Damn stubborn kid. When we watched the others dusting he must have known what was going to happen to him because he…he was asking me to help him…he said he didn't want to go and I…I couldn't stop it, I couldn't help him…and then,' Tony's breath catches, 'he told me he was sorry. He apologised to me when I was the one who couldn't save him. I…'

Tony finally looks up at him and Steve's heart breaks. There's so much pain in those brown eyes that he does the only thing he can do. Steve reaches up, cupping one of the bloodied cheeks with his hand, running his thumb over the dry, chapped lips.

'I never stopped wanting you,' Tony admits, 'and I hate you so much for that.'

'I still love you,' Steve whispers, 'I didn't leave you for him Tony, I always wanted to come back to you, I just didn't know how.'

'I know, I think if you'd left me to restart a relationship with someone else I could have handled it better, but knowing it wasn't that just made it harder.'

'Come on,' Steve moves his hand down to take hold of Tony's, 'we need to get you washed or you could end up worse than you already are.'

'I can't-'

'Come on, Tony,' Steve stands up, pulling Tony to his feet, 'I need to get you fit enough to fight, because this,' he holds up the inventor's hands, 'is not going to be the last bits of Peter, alright? We are going to get you clean, you are going to rest up and then we are going to get what's left of this team together and we are going to go hunt down this son of a bitch and we are going to get everyone back.'

Tony hold's Steve's gaze for a few moments. 'You really don't ever stop with those goddamn speeches do you?'

'This isn't a speech,' he replies, 'this is a promise. My promise to you, Tony.'

Tony looks away, blinking at the tears gathering in his eyes. 'Not sure how I feel about that. You've made a lot of promises to me before.'

Steve turns Tony's face to him again. 'This is one that I am not going to break, not while there's still breath in my body.'

He nods. 'Alright.'

'Come on,' Steve gently leads Tony to the bathroom, sitting him down on the toilet while he starts the water running into the bathtub. 'Didn't think you'd feel up to standing?'

Tony shakes his head. 'Bath's fine.'

He's still worried about how easy it is for him to lead the genius around, but decides to face one problem at a time and, as the tub fills with water, he gently helps him undress, though he pauses before helping him take off his underwear.

'Come on, Steve, not like you've never taken them off before,' Tony says, but despite his attempt at humour it falls short as his tone is too flat.

'Didn't think I still deserved to do it without checking,' he replies, and is relieved Tony doesn't ask as he reaches to turn the water off before helping him stand up again, and helping him out of his underwear before getting him into the tub.

Steve moves Tony's hands away from the shampoo, picking the bottle up himself and squirting it into his hands, lathering it into Tony's hair and massaging into his scalp.

'What are you doing, Steve?'

'What I should have been doing for years,' he admits, 'and taking care of you. I know it's selfish but I just want this last chance to do right by you, Tony, because as soon as we step out of this room I lose you to Pepper. I just want one last memory before I do.'

Tony doesn't argue, doesn't say anything else, just let's Steve continue his ministrations. Slowly, very slowly, the genius relaxes as Steve focuses on getting rid of the grime and dried blood from his body until he's finally clean and Steve can pull out the plug, letting the filthy water flow down the drain as he reaches for a towel. He doesn't let Tony stand up, just bends down and scoops him up out of the tub, wrapping the towel around him and taking him back to the bed.

'Stay here,' he tells him, voice soft, and goes to get the first aid kit. Neither of them speak when he returns and starts tending to the various wounds on Tony's body. When he finishes its Tony that breaks the silence.

'Steve,' Tony takes hold of his hands, stopping him from moving away, 'I…I need to give you something. Can you get the reactor from my shirt?'

Steve just nods, taking the kit back to the bathroom and collecting the shirt from the floor where he'd left it folded, bringing it back to the inventor. Tony takes it from him and, with shaking hands, presses on the reactor. It opens up, revealing a hidden compartment that had never been in any of the previous ones.

'I couldn't get rid of it,' Tony admits, pulling something out from the centre and letting the shirt fall to the floor. 'And I wanted it with me just in case we ever saw each other again and…well…'

Steve tries desperately not to cry. In Tony's palm sits the ring that the inventor had given him not long before everything had happened with the Accords. It's a plain, dark blue band with a silver stripe running through it. Tony had given it to him when he first told Steve he loved him. Steve had dropped it with the shield in Siberia, knowing he deserved the ring even less than the shield after what he'd done.

'Please take it,' Tony pleads.

'I don't deserve it.'

'I still love you.'

Steve can't help it. At those words he leans forwards and kisses the man in front of him, wrapping his arms around him and bringing him close. He knows it's messy. They're both crying and desperate, but it's the first time he's kissed Tony in years and it feels perfect.

'Please take it,' Tony repeats when they pull apart, still so close together that Steve can feels his lips moving against his own. Steve nods, looking down and taking the band from Tony's hand and slipping it back on his finger. 'Steve?'

He looks up at Tony's nervous question and loses himself in those brown eyes all over again. No matter how many times he's looked at him, Steve can never get enough of those eyes. Tony's face might be a perfect mask, especially to the media, but Steve's always been able to read everything in his eyes. Tony's hand goes to the back of his neck, pulling him closer for another kiss, the other goes to the front of his shirt, clenching in the fabric and pulling him forwards as Tony lays back on the bed.

'Tony?'

'Please, Steve,' his voice is breathless, 'I've missed you. I just…I want you.'

'Someone could walk in, they may come looking for you and we can't-'

'If FRIDAY is half as well programmed as she should be she's already locked the door and will let the others know not to disturb us. Come here, soldier.'

Come here, soldier. It was the line Tony always used on him that made his resolve crumble and had him dancing to any tune the inventor wanted to play. Every protest and argument he has against this dies on his lips as Tony pulls him forwards into another kiss, and those talented fingers find their way under the fabric of his shirt. His name falls from Steve's lips like a prayer and a plea at the same time, and he lets Tony pull his shirt over his head.

'She knows, you know,' Tony says as they lay together on the bed, legs tangled together and Tony half laying on Steve tracing intricate patterns on his chest that only Tony could understand the meaning of.

'What?'

'Pepper,' he sighs, letting his hand fall flat over Steve's heart, 'she knows I've been in love with someone else. I never told her. I didn't need to. She's always known me too well, but we both slipped into something we could both be content with.'

'Tony, what are you saying?'

'I'm saying,' Tony leans on his other arm so he can look at Steve easier, the determination back in his face and taking his breath away. 'I'm saying that if you really do still love me Steve, if you are serious this time that you want to be together that Pepper isn't going to be surprised when I tell her. So what I want to know is this: do you still love me enough to want to be with me?'

'Yes,' Steve doesn't hesitate in his breathless answer, feeling his heart speed up with anticipation.

There's a small, genuine smile on Tony's face now. 'Alright,' he presses a kiss to Steve's lips that he has to resist chasing when Tony pulls away. 'Then I have two conditions.'

'Alright?'

'The first is that if you want this then we do it properly this time and we don't hide away. I'm not ashamed of us, Steve, I never have been. I don't care about any bullshit you might try and say about it maybe making dynamics in the team weird, we go public and to hell with-'

'Yes,' Steve cuts him off. 'Yes, Tony, we will.'

'Huh,' the dark haired man raises his eyebrows at that, 'I was genuinely expecting more of an argument over that one considering everything before.'

'I didn't do right by you then,' Steve sighs, 'I'm fixing that this time around. No more hiding what we feel, we do it all out in the open for everyone to see.'

'Well,' Tony grins, 'maybe not everything Steve. There are laws against that you know.'

Steve blushes, making Tony laugh. 'You know what I mean.'

Tony kisses him again. 'Yeah I do. I love you.'

'I love you.' Steve repeats. 'What's the other condition?'

'We don't tell anyone until we get back from defeating Thanos,' he says, 'I just…we don't know what's going to happen Steve, and some of us might not come back. If I'm one of them I don't want Pepper to feel unloved. I don't want her last memories of me to be of me leaving her. I want them to be of me loving her.'

Steve holds Tony's gaze for a few moments then nods. 'I understand. When we come back, when we get everyone back, then we'll tell everyone. Pepper first.'

'Thank you.'

A/N: Hi everyone. I'm back with yet another Stony - because I am going down with this ship no matter how much I love the others.

Hope you've all enjoyed this first chapter, as always please do let me know what you think.

Hope you're all staying safe out there!

Love always,

L x

As always here's your sneak peek:

'Tony!'

'Mr Stark!'

'No!'

There's lots of shouting, lots of noise as he hits the ground. He rolls, the movement making the knife dig deeper into his stomach, pulling it across to rip more muscle. He thinks he hears a grunt and the sound of something hitting the ground, but he's face down in the dirt.

Then there's hands on him, rolling him onto his back. His head is being held by someone and there's more shouting. His stomach is on fire and it gets worse when he coughs.