"I'm going to I-Island."
The ensuing silence was palpable. Ayano forced herself to look at Bakugou. She was slightly afraid of what she would see, but he deserved a face-to-face conversation.
His expression was nothing short of utter shock. Of course, that was most certainly not the response one would expect to get from their girlfriend of all people. Especially for a moment like this.
He had just shown her his provisional hero license, and he got this bombshell in return?!
Ayano never really adhered to expectations and Bakugou rarely ever knew what she was truly thinking, but that declaration was hardly an appropriate response in this situation…right!?
Not only that, but they hadn't spoken to each other civilly since their fight.
He was shocked but surprisingly, his shock didn't fade into anger.
It faded into defeat, and now it was Ayano's turn to be shocked. That wasn't the reaction she was expecting from him. Her fingers tightened their grip on his hero license in anticipation of his words.
"…So you decided…" He breathed out, barely above a whisper. It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement. It was as if he were trying to convince himself of what he just heard.
Bakugou let out a shuddering sigh, tearing his gaze from Ayano's. He slowly walked over to her bed to sit on it, his elbows leaning on his knees and his head bent over into his hands. Ayano's head turned to follow him, her hands still tightly holding the license.
After a few moments of silence to collect himself, Bakugou spoke again. "When did you decide?" He asked.
"Just now."
His head jolted up at that, directly meeting Ayano's eyes. Unusually, they didn't hold the typical fire in them that they always did. She didn't look away from him, but her eyes showed guilt – they were apologetic even.
"I decided when I saw your provisional hero license." She immediately began explaining, knowing he was going to ask anyways. "You are getting closer and closer to your goal…meanwhile, I am just wasting my time."
Her brows furrowed in frustration and she grit her teeth. "Seeing you in that joint training battle with Class 1-B…I saw how far ahead you had gotten when you saved Jiro-san. You finally weren't a hero that just wins. You became a hero that saves and wins."
Ayano smiled a bit, but it disappeared into a frown soon after. "In that moment, I was so proud of you. More than you could ever know. Then, my insecurities decided to surface. Perhaps that word may be a bit much given my personality, but I can't seem to think of a better one to describe my feelings. Seeing you come so far, develop so much…I couldn't help but think that I'm basically just where I started to begin with."
"The Hero Course and Support Course here are fundamentally structured differently. Our classes don't dedicate time to undergo our licensing exams like yours do. We don't have as many opportunities. There are just so many laws that it makes it difficult to have an aggressive and progressive program in the Support Department no matter what school you go to." She shook her head, as if berating herself.
"I know that…I know that…But that doesn't mean I don't feel like I'm not going anywhere. That's why I need to do something now. I received many offers from various support companies in Japan, but that's not good enough. If I were to work for a major support company, I may end up stuck in their shadow forever. I can't let that happen. I need to catch up to you."
Bakugou wanted to interrupt. He really wanted to, but he couldn't. Not when Ayano looked like that. He had never seen her look so defeated before. Her state after her kidnapping was one thing. Anybody would be mentally scarred after that.
This was something else entirely though. She just looked so vulnerable. Despite what everyone thought and despite how she always acted, Ayano was indeed just a high school girl. She was just a teenager like everyone else. She had her weaknesses, her problems, and her insecurities. Maybe she had less than most others, but she still had them. They weren't the product of some traumatic experience, but of just going through life itself.
She was feeling incompetent, like she wasn't good enough, and it made her question herself. It was entirely normal, especially for people their age.
Bakugou just couldn't believe he didn't see it earlier. What kind of boyfriend was he!? Of course, it's not like Ayano was one to really let her emotions show, but he thought he might be the exception to that.
Was he not someone she could rely on when it came to these things? He wanted to be someone she could depend on, be it for trivial things or serious ones.
"And…" Ayano began again, Bakugou's ears perking up to hear her. "Even though I had made the decision to catch up to you, I still couldn't fully put everything I had into it. I-Island is the best opportunity to help me reach my goals. I can learn things there that I never would be able to in Japan. I had a full understanding of that, but…I also knew that I didn't want to leave you. That I wasn't prepared to."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Bakugou finally spoke, his hands balling into fists.
"I already told you that I need to make these decisions by myse—" "Not that!" He interrupted her.
"I'm not talking about that. Why didn't you tell me that you were feeling insecure? Why didn't you tell me about how you felt this whole time?!" His voice was slowly raising. He was a bit upset with her for shouldering all of this by herself, but he was more upset with himself.
He was mad that he wasn't someone she was relying on, but he was also mad that he hadn't brought this up sooner. That he wasn't the one to initiate this conversation. If he hadn't been so petty this whole time, he could have talked things out with her before it got this far. They were both feeling the same way. Why couldn't they understand each other better then?
"Why didn't you tell me earlier? Why didn't you let me help you!?" He shouted at her.
"It's because of that!" Ayano pointed at him, confusing him. "It's because of that…that face of yours! The face you're making right now. I didn't want to see that kind of face while I was trying to make my decision."
"What? Did you think I wouldn't let you go?" Bakugou asked, almost offended. He was relieved when she shook her head.
"I'm not dumb enough to fall in love with someone that wouldn't let me make my own decisions…but I am dumb enough to fall for you so much that your words weigh more heavily than my own." Ayano put her head in her hand, the mental fatigue of the conversation setting in.
At his confused look, Ayano elaborated. "Katsuki, I don't think you understand just how much your words mean to me. I knew you would support my decision to study abroad in I-Island…but just because you would let me go doesn't mean you want me to."
He looked down as she gently took his hand into her own. Their warmth mingled together as their hands connected. "I know you feel the same way as I do, Katsuki. We may be very different, but we tend to agree on these things."
She was right. Just like before when they both blamed themselves for All Might's end, they now both felt the same way here. He would never stop her from doing what she wanted, but he didn't want her to go. He wasn't prepared to let her go.
He looked back up at her when her other hand cupped his cheek. "If I told you about this before I made my own decision, your words could easily sway me. If you were to make the face you're making now, and tell me that you don't want me to go…I knew that I would break. I would instantly use that as an excuse to somehow justify not accepting the offer. I couldn't let something like that decide my fate. That's why I didn't tell you anything before I m—"
She was cut off by Bakugou roughly pulling her flush against him, her cheek pressing into his beating chest. "I don't want you to go…" He admitted.
"I don't want you to go…" He repeated. "…but if you don't go to I-Island, I'll never forgive you." He declared, finalizing his resolve by holding her tighter. She made the decision that she thought was best for her. She made her choice, and now he had to make his.
Ayano returned his embrace with equal force, giving a small breathy laugh. "You don't want me to go, but you want me to go. Which is it?" She nuzzled her head into him.
Bakugou pushed her away slightly so he could look her in the eyes. "Just so we're clear, I'm still mad that you didn't tell me about the study abroad stuff. I know why you didn't now, but I want you to depend on me more. I'm your boyfriend, aren't I? You should come to me if you're having problems, and you can tell me anything."
"I'll try…" She quietly said. They both knew it wouldn't be easy, but at least she had promised to try. Bakugou also had issues with letting his problems out, always shouldering his own burdens. Blaming himself for getting kidnapped by the League of Villains and All Might's end the perfect example of that. He internally promised that he would try to be more open too.
"Just don't tell me you don't want me to go or do something until I've already made my decision." Ayano added. The ash blond rolled his eyes at that.
They moved to lay down on her bed, all the while still embracing. "When do you leave?" Bakugou asked the dreaded question.
"The program lasts for the entirety of our second year, but it is almost our Winter Break and then our first year will be over. Since there are no other major events for Support Course students other than final exams, the I-Island directors told me that I could arrive earlier if I wished, so long as U.A. allows me." Ayano explained. She felt Bakugou hold tighter.
"…Do you want to?" He asked another dreaded question.
"No…I don't want to…But I should." He held on even tighter at her answer.
"…Then do it." Bakugou managed to get the words out, his actions contradicting his words.
Ayano nodded her head against him. "I think I will. Thank you."
After some more silence, the boy asked more questions. "The security there is pretty tight, isn't it? It's not open to the public, so I can't visit but will you be allowed to come back at all while you're there?"
The girl hummed in thought. "I will have to ask about that. Hopefully, I will be permitted leave on major holidays and breaks at the very least." Bakugou nodded, squeezing her as if to reassure them both.
It was her turn to ask a question. "Does your phone plan cover international calls?" As expected, the blond shook his head. "Neither does mine." Ayano responded.
"I suppose I can invent a communication device with an international range." She remarked, but then frowned. "Although, I highly doubt a place like I-Island would overlook something like that. They must have some sort of electromagnetic field surrounding the island to prevent unmonitored calls because of all the confidential information and government research located there. If not, then that would be incredibly concerning."
Bakugou smiled down at her as she muttered about various solutions. He scoffed, catching her attention. "We don't need something like that, so don't worry about it. It's just one year and we'll both probably be too busy with school to talk anyways." He may have sounded like the usual Bakugou who roughly brushed everything off, but his expression didn't match his words one bit.
Ayano understood that this was just his way of dealing with the situation. He wouldn't admit to weakness so easily because he knew that it would make her worry more. So, she decided to humor him. "I suppose you're right. After all, we didn't talk to each other for most of junior high…"
Neither of them smiled to make the act more convincing. They just couldn't. Instead, they just pulled each other closer, holding onto each other's warmth to remember that they were still together. To cling to the limited time they had left with each other.
One year shouldn't have been such a big deal. Yet, they couldn't help feeling this way.
"You better not look at some lame foreign boy while you're there." Bakugou quipped.
"You know I've only ever looked at you. I would tell you not to look at some other girl, but your personality does a fine job of repelling most, if not all, of them." She countered, chuckling.
"Hey!" He shouted, but didn't really have the heart to fight back right now. He wanted to just enjoy this peace. "Pfft, all those other girls can fuck off. I already have you."
The girl smiled, nestling closer to him if that were even possible. Bakugou continued. "Also, I'm telling you not to look at other guys so that they don't bother you. If you even so much as give them the time of day, they'll never leave you alone."
Ayano laughed again. "Oh, so you're worried about me?"
"I just don't trust those other guys." He responded, looking away with a small blush.
She cupped his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. "Then, you can trust me. Trust that I won't look at any other man but you. That I won't even give them the time of day."
"I'm holding you to that. You better remember it." He gruffly answered.
They both leaned in for a kiss, sealing their promises to each other.