No Shave November Part I

~November 2018~

A loud trill came from Josh's computer and a FaceTime alert appeared on the corner of his screen while he was working his way through emails from the DCCC. He was in desperate need of a break and eagerly clicked "accept", though if he was asked he would be quick to admit that he would have dropped everything to accept this call whether or not he needed a break.

"So, Jake, when did you decide Orthodoxy was right for you?" Josh asked, not skipping a beat from the moment he laid eyes on his son's full beard as it appeared on his screen to the moment he made his little crack.

"Dad," Jake whined in a way that could only be properly described as Lymanesque.

"No, really, I'm curious," Josh said, feigning genuine curiosity, though his dimpled smile gave him away.

"Don't mind him," Donna told Jake as she walked toward Josh so she could get a better look at the beard she had spotted all the way from the other end of the study. "He's just jealous because he can't grow a full beard. Mustache yes, beard, not so much."

"Donna!" shouted an indignant Josh.

"What?! It grew in patchy that time you stayed home sick for a week and didn't shave," this time it was Donna feigning innocence as she gave Jake ammunition to use against his father.

"Face it dad, I am da man now," Jake said triumphantly while he stroked his beard which, for the moment, he was embracing as a sign of his virility just to irk his father.

"Can we all stop questioning my manliness please?" Josh asked after running a hand across his face. "You started it, Patchy," Donna said as she patted him on the shoulder.

"Why'd I marry you? Can someone please tell me what possessed me?" Josh asked as he glared up at Donna. Donna and Jake rolled their eyes simultaneously.

"How does Annie feel about all of that?" Donna asked, gesturing at the beard.

"Oh she doesn't mind now that it's grown out. She didn't care for it the first couple of days when it was just stubble and scruff," Jake smiled as he recalled his wife's complaints when the scruff on his face had caused an uncomfortable irritation when they'd kissed or when he'd tried to spoon her in the middle of the night and the scruff had come in contact with her bare shoulder, the unpleasant sensation causing her to wake up and accidentally elbow Jake in the chest.

"Hi Grampa, hi Gramma!" came a shout from offscreen.

"Hey Zach, is that you buddy?" Josh asked, practically bouncing with excitement at the prospect of talking to his grandson. Golden brown curls appeared on the lower corner of Josh's laptop screen and Jake turned slightly to give his four year-old son access to his lap.

"Yeah, it's me!" he finally responded when he finished climbing up his father's long legs and was seated comfortably on his lap.

"What'd'you think of your dad's beard, Squirt, do you like it?" Josh asked, not willing to let go of the subject even if his wife had poked fun at him.

Zach nodded enthusiastically.

"It's not sharp anymore," he said as he turned to stroke his father's chin. "But it tickles," he added.

"Sorry, Dad, he's on my side," Jake practically crowed. Jake pulled his son into a hug and kissed his cheek. Zach squealed in delight as he felt the beard brush against his skin. "Joey's the only one that doesn't approve, he tried to use a baby wipe to clean it off my face. He wasn't too happy when he realized it was actually attached to me. He gave it a pretty firm yank once it got long enough for him to get a good grip."

"Joey pulled daddy's beard, and daddy made a funny noise because it hurt," Zach explained.

Annie walked into the room during Zach's explanation.

"Joey asleep?" Jake asked her.

Annie gave him a tired nod.

"Hey Josh, hey Donna," Annie said.

"Hey, sweetie," Donna replied.

"Hey, Annie, we're just admiring the yeshiva bocher's beard," Josh said to his daughter-in-law, thinking himself quite clever for bringing the Yiddish.

"Oh, did he tell you?" Annie asked. Josh's eyes widened, he could sense a story coming, a story bound to have ammunition to use against his son.

"Tell us what?" he asked, unable to hide the glee in his voice.

"What happened at Temple the other day," Annie began.