"Aye, Ma!" Harley shouted once she had the door open, not feeling the need to knock. "You still alive?" she waltzed inside, checking each room as she passed through them. "You hungry? I'm starvin'. Oh, hey!" she grinned when she spotted her standing on a step stool in the kitchen, reaching for a jar of peach preserves. "I guess we could eat here, if you're makin' lunch."

"Who let you in?" Lillian wanted to know, already upset.

"I've got a key," Harley reminded her, jingling her keychain to illustrate. "You gonna make a pie or somethin'?"

"No," Lillian muttered, retrieving the jar and stepping back down to the floor. "I just wanted something sweet, now please leave me be."

Harley clicked her tongue, shaking her head. "Can't do that, Ma. You know I gotta check in on ya. If you and Pam were nicer to each other it would probably be her here...but since pigs still can't fly, yer stuck with me!"

"I'm only 60 years old!" Lillian argued, her typically chilly demeanor giving way to legitimate frustration. "I'm not going to fall and break my hip! I just want to be left alone, please almighty god."

Harley wasn't fazed. "Let's go on a walk or somethin'. Stretch our legs, get you outta the house."

"Is it compensation you're after?" Lillian wondered; her desperation obvious. "Because I will pay you never to come back here."

"And miss out on time with my favorite mother-in-law?" Harley gasped. "I don't think so."

"I'm your only mother-in-law, Harleen."

"That's right," Harley confirmed. "So quit being such a grumpy bitch and let's hit the town. I'm your only daughter-in-law too, ya know."

"And I'm tortured every day by that fact."

Harley shrugged. "Your fault for not havin' more kids. You got any errands to run? Pammy let me take the Rimac today, so we're gonna do it in style."

Once Lillian concluded Harley wasn't going away any time soon, she decided on a more nuanced approach. "I was under the impression she gifted you that car. Why do you need her permission to drive it?"

But Harley could see that shit coming from a mile away and she was not going to let it distract her from the task at hand. Nice try. "It's cuz I got too many tickets and almost got my license suspended. So it's only for special occasions now…like spending the day with you! Now let's go," she clapped to encourage Lillian to get a move on. "Time's a wastin'."

Harley waited outside in the car for Lillian to change. She thought the outfit Lillian had been wearing before was totally fine for a quick trip to the dry cleaner and the farmer's market, but whatever. If she'd learned anything about the Isley women in her life it was don't question the look. Everything had it's own uniform and you do not question that.

Her phone vibrated in her lap, and she smiled at the text message. Is she behaving?

Never, Harley replied.

Pammy: Looks like we're both having shitty days.

What happened?

Pammy: I had to visit a plant where hard hats are mandatory.

Harley laughed, biting her lip as she responded, was your hair OK?

Pammy: Required triage, but yes.

You're so brave.

Harley saw Lillian approaching and opened the passenger side butterfly door for her, the older woman tapping her foot impatiently as she waited.

"This vehicle is absolutely ludicrous," she complained as she bent over to step inside.

"Electric, too," Harley grinned, the door mechanism never failing to delight her as it closed them inside together. "So what have you been up to?" she asked once they were on their way into town. "Anything fun?"

Lillian glanced over at her, refusing to engage in small talk. "Are you physically incapable of wearing a shirt with sleeves?"

"I thought Pam said you were pro 2nd amendment…" Harley laughed at her own joke while Lillian rolled down the window, looking like she was contemplating escape. "You like my new tattoo?"

"No."

"You didn't even look!"

"I don't like tattoos."

"This one, right here on my shoulder, see?" Harley insisted, gesturing towards it with her head. "It usta be a 'J' for my shitty ex but I made it into a mermaid."

"How wonderful for you."

Harley let out a happy sigh. "Yeah, it's been nice ta leave all that shit behind me. It can be tough to realize how much power people still hold over you, even after they're gone. Kinda sad, actually, if you think about it too hard."

Lillian kept her eyes pointing resolutely forward.

"He's not dead," Harley clarified, although Lillian hadn't asked. "He just doesn't mean nothin' to anybody now, which is worse than dead, maybe."

Again, there was no response, but Harley didn't mind.

"So…" she changed the subject, drumming on her steering wheel as they crept down main street. "What do you think? Dry cleaners first? Me and Pam got banned from a dry cleaner's in Gotham one time because I threatened to use his guts like curtains."

That, Lillian couldn't ignore. "How would that even work?"

"I don't know," Harley admitted. "It wasn't my best line, but it sure scared the shit outta him."

Lillian sighed, resigning herself to this reality. "Dry cleaner first, and you'll be waiting in the car."

"Sure, whatever you say. I should take a right here, yeah?"

"Yes."

Harley slowed to a stop at the 4-way intersection, waving at the pedestrians who'd stopped mid-crosswalk to take a picture of her car. Lillian shielded her face with her hand, sinking deeper into the leather seat.

They took the 15-minute parking spot on the curb outside the dry cleaner. "Don't have too much fun in there," Harley warned once Lillian made it to the sidewalk. "And let me know if you need backup, I'm the two-time defending champ I'll fuck literally anybody up for you."

Lillian turned on her heel without responding, entering the store front with her head held high.

"You just say the word, Ma!" Harley called after her.

Her phone was ringing now, Pam's name popping up on her lock screen. She answered with a smile. "Heeeyyyy, pretty lady."

"I don't think I like that."

"How come?"

"You sound like my father's creepy friend at my 18th birthday party."

"Oh, yikes," Harley cringed. "How 'bout this one, what's up my sexy wife?!"

"…better."

Harley laughed. "Hey, your mom's actually in a really good mood today."

"Why do you say that?"

"I gave her the chance to be mean about my mermaid tattoo and she just said she didn't like tattoos in general," Harley revealed. "I actually think she might love me."

"I wasn't expecting to be confronted with such compelling evidence."

"You're bein' sarcastic and that's why you're never gonna have a healthy relationship with her."

"What time is your flight tomorrow?"

"I don't know, didn't your assistant book it?"

Pam sighed on the other end of the line. "It turns out a good assistant is hard to come across. I never should have promoted Barbara. I miss her."

"You still see her like every day, Red."

"I mean I miss her being on top of things for me."

"Ah, gotcha, I—oh, wait, your mom's back," Harley opened the door again, turning on the engine to switch her phone call to Bluetooth while Lillian climbed back inside.

"This car doesn't have a back seat, where am I supposed to put anything?" Lillian complained.

"Just on your lap works," was Harley's answer.

"Hello? Harley? Are you still there?"

"Is that my daughter?"

"Yeah! Red, say hi to your mom."

But Lillian was already leaning into the speaker. "Pamela, please stop this torture exercise. I am deeply uninterested in a bonding opportunity with this woman you made the mistake of marrying without a prenuptial agreement."

"She'll be in Gotham City for the next 6 months, so enjoy this time while you have it. Harley?"

"Yeah?"

"If my assistant did remember to book you a flight, I'll have her email over the itinerary."

"OK, sounds good. Love you, Red, see ya at home tonight."

"I love you too. Mother? I'll see you for brunch on Sunday if you can stomach it." And then Pam hung up, leaving a smile on Harley's face.

She hadn't been expecting Lillian to be picking up so many clothes (just throw it in the washer, geez!). At this point there was more fabric than woman in the passenger seat. "We should probably skip the groceries for now," Harley decided.

"I assume your season's starting back up, is that why you'll be gone for so long?" Lillian wondered.

"Yeah," Harley confirmed, trying not to be too excited by the personal question. "I try not to travel much when I'm training. It can get kinda distracting and I've gotta be on my A-game since they started letting us actually fight."

"What inspired their change in business model?"

"I guess they bought out a league on the west coast and couldn't keep things on the downlow anymore with all the new athletes and management and all that," Harley shrugged. "Got more expensive to cheat."

"And Pamela visits you? In Gotham?"

"Mhm," Harley nodded, starting on their route back to the Isley estate. "She comes to all my fights and usually stays for the weekend."

"I was never able to be apart from Robert for that long," Lillian said, sort of to Harley, sort of to herself. "Even when he was home, he spent most of his time and energy on work, but…it was reassuring to have him there. I don't think I realized what that meant to me until he was gone."

Harley blinked, not expecting a confession like that. "I was never really good at bein' alone either. Forced me into some choices I ain't proud of. But I bounced back. It's crazy what people can bounce back from. I once broke this chick's jaw in the first round and her nose in the 2nd and she still ended up beating me in the 5th. Can you believe that?"

"What an inspiring story, truly."

"She had to get plastic surgery to fix her face," Harley continued. "And now Pam's invested in some new downtown high rise with her. Weird, right?"

"It defies explanation."

"It harvests renewable energy or something cool like that. First step to makin' Gotham green! That's what Pam says. It sounds cooler when she explains it," Harley assured. "You should ask her more about it on Sunday."

"We'll see if it comes up…"

"Hey, it's been really nice havin' a mom again," Harley said before Lillian could retreat to her emotional ice castle. "I'm gonna miss our afternoons together when I'm back in Gotham. And the grass and the fresh air," she added. "I always miss that stuff. Can't believe Pam ever willingly gave it up."

Lillian cleared her throat lightly. "I'm sure she planted a garden to breathe some life into the place."

"Yeah, she did," Harley said, smiling at the trees that bracketed the long drive leading up to the house. "But I meant the havin' a mom part too."

The car was silent as they pulled up to the front porch.

"Listen, I don't know if you'd…ever wanna come to one of my fights, but Selina still let's Pam watch from the skybox, so it's pretty cushy," Harley told her as she put the car into park. "Doesn't have to be this one coming up, but…whenever you're ready, might be kinda fun."

"Why would I want to fly to the cesspool that is Gotham City to watch you brutalize other women in your undergarments?"

"I don't know," Harley laughed. "The open bar?"