Konata and Kagami arrived at the supermarket near her house sometime after school ended.
"So Konata… do you know what are we are going to cook now?"
"I was thinking of something simple because… well, I'm still scared." Konata answered. "How does rice with curry sounds? It's more or less the simplest dish I can think of."
"Yeah that sounds rather easy. You're sure we shouldn't try something harder?" Kagami wasn't liking the treatment she got from Konata.
"Kagamin~, Tsukasa almost fainted after we told her about the cooking lessons and you did something with rice you had to clean the kitchen for hours... So no, I think I'm overdoing it already."
"Okay, fine…" She pouted but stopped resisting. "What do we need for it?"
"I have rice at home. We need some meat, a curry mix, potatoes, carrots, and onions. Maybe something for desert but well I don't know if I even survive until then so just let us buy some instant pudding or so..."
"Sounds fine, I mean ignoring the last part. What meat and what curry mix?" Kagami tried her best to stay calm.
"Beef or chicken, whatever you prefer and the best curry would be a spicy mix because it can cover possible or rather unpreventable flaws quite good."
The girls bought everything they need and went home afterward.
…..
"We should change our clothes first. I have a bad feeling that they'll get dirty today." The clothes weren't the only thing Konata had a bad feeling about.
"I would love to hit you right now but I can't because you're probably right..." Kagami mumbled more or less to herself.
"I still don't want to do it..." Konata started whining again.
"With what do we start?" Kagami just ignored her as usual.
"The curry, the meat needs the longest time."
"Okay, so we have to cook it first, right?"
"Nah, we first cut it into smaller pieces and so with the with the carrots and potatoes and then chop the onions."
"Oh, yeah, makes sense." Kagami nodded.
"I would say I take care of the meat and the onions and you start with peeling the carrots and potatoes."
"Okay."
"Ehm… Kagamin~?" Konata asked a couple minutes later after observing her a bit.
"Yes?"
"You know… two small carrots are more than enough for two people. You're at what you sixth?"
"…number five. How am I supposed to know how much we need?"
"Uhm…" Konata scratched her head. "Common sense?"
"You didn't just give me a lecture about common sense, right? You..." Kagami hissed but quickly apologized after recognizing that Konata had indeed a point.
"Okay, looks like we can use three or four carrots in this case here. Kagamin~, it's enough to peel the outer layer of the carrot, not... well... half of it.
"Okay, what after that?" Kagami decided to just listen and took the advice.
"You cut them into smaller pieces and do the exact same thing with the potatoes. Take two big ones, peel the skin and cut them into smaller, bite size, pieces. I'll start cooking the meat in this pot with some onions. When you're finished and the meat is a bit browned, we add the potatoes, carrots, and water and let it simmer until everything softened a bit."
"…Okay, can I add them now." Kagami asked after she finished cutting the potatoes.
"Sure, the meat is ready…" Konata looked at them and sighed. "Uhm Kagamin~, you didn't have to hack the potatoes this much, that's not really bite sized. Anyway, whatever… it should be okay. I already added the water. You can add your stuff."
"Okay."
Kagami added her vegetables and the two let everything simmer for 5 minutes.
"I think we can add the curry roux mix now." Konata said after looking at the cooking ingredients.
"Sure." Kagami answered while throwing the entire content of the curry mix in the pot.
"But only two or three of the eight roux blocks inside the package, that's already more than enough." Konata added after realizing she forgot to add it in the first place.
"Oh!" Kagami gasped and turned a bit pale.
"K-Kagamin~?" She had a bad feeling before even looking.
"That advice was a bit late..." Kagami muttered.
"Uhm good... please cut the remaining carrots, we're going to make some more curry, like family sized. I'll cut some more potatoes and we also can add some tofu because we have no meat left. With this, we probably have enough to compensate the extra curry mix." Konata said while also quickly adding twice the amount of needed water.
"Okay... Konata, I'm sorry." Kagami was a bit dejected.
"It's fine. The situation has some moe points on its own but you were supposed to be moe on Wednesday tomorrow and not today."
"Oi! It's not like I doing it on purpose, you know? And don't call me moe out of nowhere!"
"Ah there's the tsun, it's Tuesday after all." Konata teased, mainly to distract Kagami.
"Grr..." It more or less worked. "Anyway, how do we continue with the curry now?"
"Put your carrots in the pot, I already added some more potatoes. With that and the tofu I'll add later, we'll have enough curry for the next three days or so." Konata sighed.
"Sounds good, wait, we could bring some for tomorrow's lunch then, right?"
"Well, I had a small incident with overnight curry before but if we put it in the fridge fast enough, we could do that. As long as it is edible in the first place, I have to add." Konata glanced at the pot with the now army sized curry.
"I'm sure it'll be good!" Kagami reassured mostly herself. "What now?"
"We wait because the curry needs to cook an hour."
"That long? Wow, cooking is torture."
"That's true, with you it's a lot harder, yes" Konata silently mumbled.
"What was that?"
"Nothing! Besides, the longer it cooks the better it tastes in the end. We could start with the rice now because it also takes some time."
"I... uhm... okay." Kagami suddenly turned as pale as a ghost.
"What's wrong? Flashback to your mysterious rice accident at home nobody wants to tell me about?" Konata was now also concerned.
"No no, absolutely not. Nothing like that." She quickly shook her head.
"… Okay…" The bad feeling Konata had all this time got stronger again but she decided to play dumb for now. "Anyway, can you wash the rice? I'll look for a pot to cook it in."
"O-Okay." Kagamis behavior made Konata feel just more and more uneasy.
A couple minutes later. Kagami had washed the rice and added it the pot Konata had brought. She also added the water and then placed it on the stove where Konata was looking after the curry because she couldn't imagine Kagami could mess up washing rice.
"Wow that actually looks similar to curry." Konata said amazed at the inside of the pot.
"See, I'm a natural." Kagami teased after she placed the pot of rice next to it,
"Uhm…"
"Just shut up!"
A couple minutes elapsed and the rice started behaving rather weird.
"Ahh Kagamin~!" Konata suddenly yelled. "W-Why is the rice pot smoking?!" She quickly removed it from the stove then.
"I-I have now idea." Kagami also panicked a bit.
"I didn't know it's physically possible for rice to smoke. Sure steam and stuff but no dark smoke… Wait, why is the complete pot full of rice? How many did you add?"
"Uhm everything?" Kagami quietly answered.
"What?! You mean you added the complete bag?
"Yeah, sort of…"
"WHY?" Konata started yelling because she was getting desperate.
"You said we made way too much curry and so I thought more rice would be good…" Kagami answered with the innocence of an idiot, at least when it comes to cooking.
"Wow." Konata said after examining the pot and calming a bit down. "I bet just a minute more and that whole thing would've just exploded and go through the roof." Konata tried to make a joke.
"Well…" Kagami started. "That's what more or less happened last time."
"Wait, what? That was supposed to be a joke. I... mean... wha... how, I... uhm..." Konata was to perplexed to speak.
"I'm sorry Konata. *sniffle* I'm really not doing it on purpose *sniffle*." Kagami started crying.
"Don't worry, Kagamin~, I'm not mad, just amazed. More importantly, nothing happened. We can clean the pod and the top half of the rice is, well, still like new. It never had contact with any water, so we can still eat it. Next time we'll just start from the beginning with some more basic things like measuring and stuff." Konata tried to cheer her up. "Now stop crying and get up. That's way too cute for me than I can handle. I almost had a nosebleed over here."
"Really?" Kagami stopped crying and faced Konata.
"Absolutely, a clumsy tsundere who can't even cook rice or measure stuff and starts crying in the cutest way I ever saw, even Miyuki and Tsukasa together aren't that moe. I'm about to faint, if you keep that up or even top it on moe Wednesday, I'm dying for sure!" Konata was in high spirits and Kagami was thanks to her calm again.
"Idiot…" Kagamin laughed. "I already told you that I'm not participating on 'moe Wednesday'! I didn't mean that. Are you really going to teach me more?" Kagami asked.
"I have to. I can't release you into society with skills like that." Konata laughed, so did Kagami. "And besides, you weren't cute on purpose today, so you can't be sure that moe Wednesday isn't going to happen."
"That's somehow true... Wait, shut up Konata!" Both were laughing again. "And thank you for."
"Oh boy, I'm not going to survive this week." Konata teased.
"Shut up already. Don't say stuff like that, besides wasn't your dream 'death by moe'." Kagami was also teasing again.
"No, well not really, it's certainly a good death but that was the dream of my dad."
"Oh yeah, right, I remember." Kagami awkwardly scratched her head. "So, what's your favorite death?"
"Me? I don't plan to die at all!"
"Is that so? How do you want to accomplish that?"
"Easy, I'll wait until I turn 30 and become a wizard and boom, immortal!" Konata cheered while posing a victory stance. Kagami laughed a bit.
"Good luck with that. Wait, don't you have to stay a vir…" Kagami suddenly stopped after realizing what she said. Konata just started laughing really hard.
"Just perfect… You really understood that reference! I Can't believe it. I knew you like that stuff as much as I do!"
"N-No- No, it's nothing like that!" Kagami started blushing. "You just forced me to watch the anime, idiot!" Kagami started yelling to desperately defend herself.
"Kagamiiiin~." Konata had a mischievous grin.
"What is it?" Kagami snapped.
"Even I haven't seen the anime yet."
"What? Of course you did. I'm sure of it, stop teasing me or I'll go home you stupid otaku!"
"Kagamin~, I know I didn't. I wanted to finish the last two manga volumes first before watching. I know the reference from the manga, not the anime." Konata said while Kagami started blushing even manga.
"Shut up, idiot. Then I just happen to see it while switching channels or something."
"Kagamin~, you don't have to deny it that hard, I'm just proud." Konata cheered. "But yeah, you're right, it's a pretty hard wish especially because you originally have to be a boy who isn't allowed to have a girlfriend until he turns 30. I may have the mind of a boy but uhm… yeah…" Konata stopped because she lost where she was going with it.
"Wait, what?" Kagami thought. "Ehm, I lost it a bit in the middle but good look with that… I think." Kagami was equally confused.
"Me too but yeah, thanks, I guess." Konata scratched her head. "You have to think big and there's still plan B. Death by Tsundere rage. I'm pretty sure this is doable."
"Yeah that´s a more likely death for you." Kagami started thinking while Konata was smiling. "Shut up, idiot. I really want to hit you know but I'm not going to kill you, probably… Wait, shut up again, I'm not a tsundere. Ahhh I hate you! I can hit you, right? Right?" Kagami was fighting really hard. Konata just wasn't sure against what she was fighting again her or herself.
"Kagamin~, I didn't say a single thing until now. You were just ta..." Konata got interrupted.
"Konata, just stay silent, okay." Kagami said, still not being sure herself if she should laugh or not now.
"Okay~. By the way, the rice is done I think we can try to eat now."
"I thought the rice was ruined." Kagami asked.
"Part of it was but while you were talking about virgins and wizards, I washed the remaining rice again and got it ready." Konata teased while Kagami got a new reason to blush.
"K-Konata! I-I said you should shu... oh whatever, you win." Kagami had no power left.
"Ah, tsun Tuesday. I hope this becomes a regular thing." Konata grinned.
"Grr. C-Can we eat now?" Konata couldn't hold it anymore and started laughing again. Kagami tried not to but in the end, she joined Konata. After a couple minutes of their shared idiocy, they calmed down and started to eat.
"Hmm." Konata said after tasting.
"Hmm." Kagami agreed.
"It's better than expected." Konata nodded. "I mean worse than expected isn't possible but still..."
"Oi! Well, you have a point..." Kagami more or less agreed.
"It's definitely edible."
"Thank you, I guess." Kagami scratched her head. "It's my first try after all, okay with helping."
"I can definitely understand your family now, though."
"I heard that!" Kagami shouted.
"Kagamin~, remember the rice? I still can't understand how is that even possible. I-I mean..."
"And once more, shut up. Rice just doesn't like me, that's all."
"That's a totally valid reason. Just like me and homework." Both laughed a bit because both were rather unreasonable.
"Anyway, I think the curry is okay. Okay… maybe the first carrots and potatoes I added are a bit too soft because I cut them too small and it's a bit spicy because I added too much of the mix stuff but still..."
"Yeah, I seriously thought I would die today so I'm also a bit surprised here."
"Don't overdo it now, Konata." Kagami threatened her.
"I'm not overdoing it. I was scared! In fact, I'm still a bit. Good thing we're done now I'm super tired right now."
"You don't need to be scared, I think…" Konatas eyes widened. "Yeah good thing we're done, so I can end today's lesson with an at least small success."
"That's good…" Konata sighed. "I think we should clean the kitchen now, put the curry in the fridge and then take a bath."
"Sounds like a plan. Wait, why are we putting the curry in the fridge?"
"So that it doesn't spoil. You already forgot? It was even your idea… We can bring something to school for lunch and show it to Tsukasa of course."
"Oh, right… What? You want show Tsukasa my creation?" Kagami shivered.
"Sure! Why not?"
"Because it's embarrassing."
"I bet that is the first edible thing you have ever created, right?"
"Sort of…" Kagami got silent again.
"I'm sure Tsukasa won't laugh too hard or anything."
"Oi."
"Sorry!"
…..
Later that day in Konatas room. Both were sitting on Kagamis futon.
"Look Kagamin~, your anime is running right now?" Konata suddenly said.
"What? Kagami turned towards the TV.
"Your anime with the wizard reference, the anime you 'accidentally' watched." Konata chuckled.
"Ah, you're right it is. I remember this guy…" Kagami stopped. "… almost not at all."
"Kagamin~…" Konata started while grabbing a manga. "Look this is the scene with the wizard…" She turned a few pages. "And this is the normal character design. You have to have watched more to recognize the character in an instant."
"…"
"Kagamin~."
"Fine!" Kagami groaned in defeat. "Maybe I watched a couple episodes."
"Was it that hard to admit?"
"Geez, you don't believe how annoying you can be!"
"Nah, I have a pretty good impression of that." Konata just grinned at her
"Wow, I... you... wow. I can't believe you." Kagami stuttered.
"Yeah, I know I'm awesome, so do you."
"Awesome, I don't think I had this word in my head." Kagami teased back.
They continued watching TV and chatting for some time until they got tired.
"I guess we should go sleeping. I'm pretty tired." Kagami yawned just after finishing her sentence.
"Yeah, you're right, your cooking did cost me quite a lot energy and I'm going to need more for tomorrow."
"You're pretty mean sometimes, you know?" She pouted.
"Like the tsundere can talk, besides, the truth can hurt sometimes."
"Shut up! Let's go to bed now"
"See!? By the way, I'm going to sleep in my own bed, you're way too clingy while you're sleeping Kagamin~." Konata nudged Kagamis side.
"More than fine with me... Wait what?" Kagami suddenly asked.
"Remember last time?"
"Hmm… Oh yeah… I mean, shut up, that wasn't on purpose." Kagami shouted and Konata giggled.
"Sure."
With that, they went to bed and fell asleep quickly because both were exhausted. Thanks to the events of the day, Konata had a little nightmare.
"…Kagamin~ don't touch that pot… no that doesn't belong in curry… Kagamin~ how can that happen to rice… what are you doing… no you don't cut it like that…"
Her mumbling continued for quite some time. She later even started moving in her bed as if to run away from something, to the point where she fell out of it. However, due to their exhaustion neither Konata woke up nor Kagami realized anything at this point.
.
BTW I don't guarantee success with any recipes I'm using, especially in the upcoming chapters. I'm pretty sure I mixed up some steps or even forget some.
For those who are wondering, the anime with the reference is Haganai/ Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai.
Poor Konata... She never saw it coming and it's just the beginning of her odyssey in the kitchen with Kagami.
But maybe she'll get her moe Wednesday to cheer up again as a reward for her hard work.