Chapter 36: Change

Nessie's POV

A few minutes after taking off I felt my eyes getting heavy with sleep. My body felt physically drained of energy. I tried to fight it off at first but eventually I gave in. What seemed like only a few seconds after drifting off Alec was shaking me awake.

"What-what is going on?" I couldn't stifle the yawn that threatened to escape.

"We're about to land in Berlin. You slept the whole way here,"

"What? Why didn't you wake me up earlier? I could've kept you company,"

"Why would I wake you up? You clearly needed the sleep. Besides your mere presence is company enough for me,"

"So what do we do now?" I asked as the plane started to descend.

"I think for now we should look for a hotel to stay in. Then we will see from there. I think it's important for us to lay low for awhile,"

"Oh," I couldn't hide the disappointment in my voice.

"Does that not please you?"

"Well...it's just that I was kind of hoping to go on a tour of the city. I've always wanted to visit. It looks like a beautiful city,"

"Nessie I'd love to take you on a tour of the city,"

"Really?" The excitement made my voice go up an octave.

"But I really think you both need some rest first," we both looked down at little Lucy who was still fast asleep. Poor girl. She must be so confused by everything that's going on right now. She'd been through so much in her short life. I was determined to make sure that she was taken care of. I didn't know how yet but maybe my family and I can figure something out after this problem with the Volturi was resolved. If it was ever resolved. If I ever saw my family again.

Images of Carlisle and Esme danced across my mind. I still couldn't believe that they were dead. I didn't want to believe that they were dead. Tears fell from my face.

"Nessie what's wrong?" Alec was quick to ask.

"I was thinking about my grandparents again,"

He froze when I said that. A reaction that I did not understand. He seemed distant all of a sudden.

"Are you okay?" I asked him this time

"I'm fine Nessie. You shouldn't worry about me,"

What? "Why not? I know you're physically much stronger than me but I still worry about the people I lov-care about,"

Love?! Was I seriously about to say I loved him?! No I couldn't love him. I was way too young to love a boy. I was only eleven years old for godsakes. I'd barely started puberty less than a year ago. I was way too young to love a boy. I cared about him. Yes that was all that it was. I cared about him a lot. I didn't want anything bad to happen to him. I had a strong attraction to him but that was it. Nothing more. Nothing less.

We didn't say another word to each other as the plane finished descending and touched down. We rushed through the airport quickly. Since we didn't have any checked luggage it was easy to leave the airport quickly. We went lucky when we stopped at the closest hotel. They had one free room available. It was a suite with a lot of luxurious accommodations. I balked at the price but money was apparently no big deal to Alec.

I felt a stromg mixture of emotions stirring in my stomach. Sorrow for how much I missed my family, dread of the Volturi, and a strong sense of excitement that I was alone with Alec in a foreign country.

Alec, on the other hand, looked very worried.

"What's wrong?"

"This is all so new to me,"

"What? Visiting Germany? It's definitely new for me to,"

"No not that,"

"Then what?" I asked.

"Being here. Not once since I became a vampire have I dared to leave or defy the Volturi. Not once have I ever been seperated from my sister either. We are always together and being apart feels so strange,"

"You miss her?"

"Of course I do. She is my family. She may have a more sadistic personality that I don't entirely like but I still love her,"

"Why is she like that? Why does she enjoy inflicting pain on others,'

"It has to do with our experience as humans. Being burned at the stake. She never had much compassion for humans after that. For a long time neither did I,"

"and then what happened? You grew a conscious?"

"A conscious that I tried to bury as deep down inside me as I could. I tried to justify myself and say that humans were nothing more than a source of food. I convinced myself that it was just in our nature. But as you said before that's no excuse for toying with humans and torturing them. Before you I never considered that there might be another choice,"

"So could go vegetarian like my family?"

Alec smiled at me. "I don't know if I have the willpower to commit to that kind of lifestyle. But for you Nessie I would give it a try,"

"Alec you should do it because you want to do it. Not because I asked you. But it is kind of flattering that you would do something like that for me,"

He sighed. "I don't know what it is about you Nessie. But there is something about you that has completely turned my world upside down. Something about you that is making me do insane things that I don't even completely understand,"

"Like the Volturi to protect me?"

"Exactly like that kid,"

"You're not the monster that you think you are Alec,"

"But I am. What would you do if you found out that I told you a horrible lie?"

"Well I would forgive you. We all make mistakes. Do things we regret. But that's why God gave us the ability to forgive one another,"

He eyed me wearily for a second. Then a thought occured to me. Had he lied to me about something? I deliberated whether I should ask him or wait for him to tell me. I decided on the second option.

"How old are you again?" he asked.

"I'm only 11 years old. Why?"

"Because you speak with a wisdom beyond your years,"

I stopped for a second and considered what he said. "I haven't always been this way either. I don't even completely understand it,"

"Maybe awakening your half vampire side has caused you change in more ways than you thought," he said. "Anyway you should get some more sleep. Later I can show you the city if you'd like,"

I smiled. I'd definitely like that.

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