~x~ Chapter 36 ~x~

"What do you mean by that?" I nearly screamed.

"It is almost impossible to keep someone like you a secret, Kai. It was only a matter of time before talk about you reached the ears of the court."

"But why?" I ran my hands through my hair. "Why would they care?"

"If you were merely a student who excelled in combat, usually it wouldn't stir up this much interest, but you are much more than that, especially after today when talk of how many marks you have received reaches court."

"Again, why does it matter?"

"Because you are the dhampir that was found by chance in the city having had no real training as a guardian-to-be and yet you have taken down more Strigoi than many fully fledged guardians twice your age. Within days you had built up a powerful reputation for yourself here at the Academy, but by now, you have a reputation amongst the royal court, Kai. The number of calls that I've received asking about you has been rising like the tide ever since this morning when you guys got back."

"I'm starting to think that everything I did was a seriously bad idea." I groaned and slapped my forehead. "I just had this massive conversation with Ali -"

"Oh yes, how is he? Has he calmed down now?"

"Yeah, I think we scare each other, Martin. We're the same, but at the same time we're not and we're finally beginning to realise that. I do wonder what our relationship would've been like if I hadn't left. But living by 'what ifs' isn't the best way to go so I stop before I get too far with my thoughts."

"These things are bound to happen, Kai. Even if you hadn't left, there would always be differences. As much as we may all like to, we can't remain kids forever."

"I know what you mean. But Ali did mention something similar to what you just said though. He brought up the topic of the fact that next year, I'd have to be careful because apparently people will be tripping over themselves to get me to be their assigned Guardian after graduation." I smiled sheepishly.

"You only just realised that?"

"I never thought of it that way, Martin. When I was out there, I never had to. I wasn't fighting to impress people, I was fighting to protect those I cared for and it's the same now. There isn't just one person that I want to protect no matter what so I don't know if I want to become an assigned guardian or not. I'd already said this to Brooks today, until I find the person that I want to risk my life for, I don't intend on becoming anyone's guardian."

"That is a fair answer, maybe I'll get you to just stay here and help out with the elementary division. You seem to handle kids really well."

"They are really adorable, I can't help loving them all." I smiled.

"You are so much like your father," he smiled fondly at me and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I am?" I glanced at him in surprise.

"Yes," he murmured. "Yes, you are."

"It's a little weird you know? Suddenly having people tell me that I resemble my parents, I mean. It's never happened before, especially not six years ago when I used to be so anti-social." I smiled shyly. "It's nice, to know that I really am my parents child. I used to doubt it being the nervous wreck that I was."

"You've always been like them, but when you're only ten, it's harder to tell. You only really start to notice the traits once the child grows up a little more and matures." Martin chuckled. "You shouldn't worry, Kai. You really are so much like them. You may need to be careful here in this Academy. The similarities are really beginning to show through and an observant guardian just might piece things together."

"I've already thought about that." I grinned. "I thought about that on the first day back that I've developed a few traits from my dad's influence."

"So long as you're aware."

"Oh, and by the way, I don't know when Ali intends to see you, but he thinks that I should go home tonight after lights out." I whispered nervously, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.

There was a small pause before he tilted my head around so that he could look at me. "Are you ready?" Martin watched me carefully with a frown.

"I'm never going to be ready, Martin." I told him honestly. "But I can't just run away forever either. I think I've already done that for long enough, don't you think?"

"I'm glad you ran away back then."

"Oh?" I blinked in surprise. "You know, you're the only person who hasn't just about mowed me down for causing so much trouble back then."

"You were suffering, Kai. You were suffering so much and there was nothing any of us could do to help you. Not to mention, you never would have become who you are if you hadn't left." Martin smiled warmly.

"Now you seem to be saying the same things as Rosette." I smirked up at him. "Speaking of Rosette, how are things?"

"What do you mean?" he frowned though I could see the slight nervousness in his eyes.

"I think you know."

"Kai, I think there are more important things we should talk about."

"I don't think that there is anything more important than the happiness of people dear to me, Martin." I scoffed. "Stop hedging. How are things?"

He stared at me for several moments before giving a defeated sigh and an emotion that I couldn't name flashed across his eyes. Something that was akin to loneliness and grief seemed to settle in his usually stern eyes and he glanced away from me. "Nothing's changed."

"Why?" I couldn't help but ask. It had been six years after all, you'd think that with or without probing, something would've changed at least a little between the two of them. How could nothing have changed especially when most others like Ali and the four royals had changed so much?

He stepped away from the sofa and seemed to pace towards the windows and he merely looked out of them for a while, gazing up at the sky, before he finally spoke with a tone of voice that I'd never heard him use before. It was a tone so full of grief, sadness and loneliness that it made me want to cry, made me want to cry in his place.

"It didn't feel right, little sky. It was bad enough after your parents' death, but when you left, everything seemed to come to a standstill. Alistair changed, but that was to be expected because he was still so young back then, but for the rest of us? We were lost, we couldn't move on and I don't think that any of us particularly wanted to. We wanted to cling onto the hope that if everything was still the same, then it would all just seem like a bad dream and that you would return to us the next day. But of course, you never did, not until now."

"Oh, Martin… I'm so sorry…" I murmured and jumped off of the sofa and hugged him.

"No, it's not your fault. But we couldn't move on. Without you here, I don't think any of us knew how to move on. We simply carried on the way we would, and yet at the same time we were all too afraid to take a step forward. That was the case for Rosette and I."

"Martin, no matter what had happened, you and Rosette deserve happiness." I told him, sensing the train of thought that must have been going through his mind. Knowing the two of them, they must have been thinking that taking everything that had happened into account they didn't deserve to be happy. That what they already had was enough and to hold on to what they knew rather than risk stepping into unfamiliar territory.

He turned around in my arms since I had been hugging him from behind and he cupped my cheeks. He bent down and kissed my forehead tenderly before giving me a smile. "You are a lot more outspoken about your perceptiveness than you used to be, Kai."

"Like we'd already established earlier, it's all thanks to the confidence that I'd developed out there." I grinned up at him cheekily with a wink. "But you do, Martin. I mean it. And not just you and Rosette, but all of you. No matter what had happened, that doesn't mean that you guys are less entitled to being happy. I may have had some of my happiness torn away from me, but I wasn't the only one. My parents' death affected you guys as much as it affected me. I'm not the only who lost something dear back then and I am grateful that not more of my family unit died during that attack. These things happen, unfortunately, that's the kind of life that we live."

"Not only perceptive but wise as well I see," he chuckled. "You really are their child…"

"Yes. Yes I am." I told him proudly. "I couldn't have wished for better parents or family to support me at all. Mum and Dad may be gone physically, but they will forever remain in our hearts and in our memories and that's what's most important of all. Though I suppose if I come into contact with older royals or people who knew my parents well, I'll have to be careful otherwise they just might see the resemblance and work out the truth before I'm ready for the secret to be exposed."

"Speaking of your secret being exposed, well done with how you handled the situation today with Jenson."

"I like him. He seems really different, sort of like an odd mix between Joey and… well me I suppose."

"Oh? And what makes you say that?"

"He's clearly been through his own fair share of unpleasant experiences and yet he's still as chirpy and friendly as Joey is. He's a good guardian and I'm glad that he gets on so well with Joey, I can completely understand why."

"You've barely known the man a week, how have you managed to work out so much about his character?"

"It's in his eyes, Martin. He seems to have the balance worked out perfectly for him between casualness, playfulness, maturity and professionalism. In a way, I can sort of imagine Ali becoming a little like that later on when he's even older." I laughed at the thought.

"You know, I might have to agree with you on that. I'm glad that Jenson decided to transfer here as well. He's been keeping Joseph company as a teacher and those two really do get along well. I think that you chose well in trusting him."

"I don't think he'll betray our trust." I shook my head. "He really seemed to understand why I'm doing this, Martin. I didn't think that anyone else would without some sort of explanation, but he did. He saw, he noticed."

"I know, Kai. After he threw him out of the office, I noticed his chance in attitude reverting back to how he would've behaved towards you before he found out. It can't be easy for him, especially since it's in his nature to follow the hierarchy of the system, but for you, it seems that he's willing to place your feelings first and that is his way of showing his respect towards you as a person and as a royal."

"I noticed that as well. That's why I think that we'll be okay. It won't be easy later on, and we do still need to talk, but I think that it'll be fine."

"Having said that, I think we should keep the exposure of your secret to a minimum. Your escape with the royals out of the Academy into the outside world caused enough of a riot amongst the court, then to find out you actually took down Strigoi and protected another royal caused even more of a chaos. Things will be different enough as it is, I don't think we need to add any more fuel to the fire than you already have."

"I fully intend to lay low for as long as I can." I nodded in agreement. "I don't think I can handle any more commotion than what's going on at the moment. I've probably had enough excitement to last me a life time."

"But more is to come your way if you intend to see the house tonight. We have seriously diverged from that topic, might I add?"

"So we have." I laughed. "I will go to the house, partly because if I don't then Ali will probably find some way to drag me there anyway."

"If you aren't ready, I will tell him to lay off."

"No." I told him firmly. "I think now is as good a time as any to be honest. I'm never going to be ready to go back there, as I've already said earlier so it won't really make that much of a difference whether I go back there tonight or another time."

"I just don't want you to overwork yourself."

"I'm fine. I got a full eight hours' worth of sleep so I'm highly unlikely to random collapse from fatigue."

"Only if you're sure, Kai," he sighed.

"Thank you, for worrying so much, Martin. But I do agree with Ali about this as much as I hate to admit it. He is right in saying that it'll be better for me if I don't delay it for too long and tonight is as good a time as any to go back."

"How are you feeling now that you've been back for a week?"

"To be honest? It's been so hectic that I haven't really dwelled that much on how I'm feeling. I'm just taking each emotion as it comes really. I've been focusing on familiarising with the grounds first and there are moments when I think back to those days when everything was still alright. I would be lying if I didn't have the occasional flashbacks whenever I see a place where I used to train with my parents but it's toned down quite a lot since the first day of being back. It hasn't been nearly as bad as I'd feared it might be."

"So, no more breakdowns since that first night back?"

"No more breakdowns. Well, unless you count the incident with Marissa." I pointed out.

"You should not have had to endure something like that."

"If she knew who my parents really were, she never would've dared. Besides, no one in the world deserves to endure that kind of insult about their parents."

"Her punishment should've been a lot worse than it is."

"I think her social humiliation is punishment enough, Martin. I have to admit though, going onto another topic, I did feel quite odd on Thursday when I went out shopping with the girls."

"Oh? Why was that?"

"I was so used to carrying stakes with me whenever I went out that it felt really weird not to have one anymore…" I admitted sheepishly.

"Kai, I am not giving you back your stakes. Not until you've graduated. It is a rule and not one that I can exempt you from."

"I know." I sighed. "I'm just saying. Oh yeah, before I dash off to dinner, you said that there was something you needed to say to me. What is it?"

"Ah, that's right. I have a message from Lord and Lady Badica about your achievements over the weekend and Lady Drozdov wants to know if there's anything you would like."

"What for?" I blinked in surprise."

"To express her gratitude for saving her life."

"That's my job, Martin." I scoffed.

"I know, but she is one to believe in rewards for those who are worthy of it."

"Well then I'll find her tomorrow and let her know myself that it isn't necessary. I may not have graduated and she may not know who I am, but for all intents and purposes, I am being trained to protect her and other Moroi no matter what the situation was so there's no need for her to reward me. Besides, her healing my wounds and injuries is definitely payment enough." I rolled my eyes. "Seriously, a Moroi and a royal one at that rewarding a novice for saying their life from a Strigoi… just what on earth is going on with the world? When did they start getting so nice?"

"They've always been there, Kai," he chuckled. "You just never met them before, that's all."

"That's what I don't get, if they're so nice then why haven't I met them before? Surely it would be the nice ones who were close to Mum and Dad?"

"I think that you may have met Lady Drozdov a couple of times but only when you were really young. She was in Russia and England for a while before coming back here to teach about four years ago. "

"Well, that certainly makes more sense." I huffed.

I let go of Martin as he stepped over to his desk and took out a folded piece of paper. He gave me a small smile and watched me expectantly. "You want me to read it now, don't you?" I arched my brows at him.

"I've read it already. They'd sent an email so that it would get to you fastest and when I printed it out I skimmed the letter."

"That's a bad habit, you nosy guardian." I glared playfully at him.

I unfolded the piece of paper and the first words that seemed to leap out at me were the words: Congratulations for your molnija marks.

I hastily read the letter and I felt my face heat up in embarrassment at the compliments the lovely couple had given me. Then at the bottom of the letter, I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach and I glanced up to stare at Martin in utter shock.

"What?!" I screamed at him with wide eyes. "What is this?"

"I would've thought that it would be obvious that it's an informal invitation, Kai," he smirked at me at my fluster.

"But… what… why?" I stammered. "Oh my god, they're going to kill me for placing their beloved children at risk. What am I going to do, Martin?!"

"Kai, relax, breathe," he laughed.

"I'm in so much trouble, Martin? What do I do?!"

"Kai!" he shouted at me and clapped his hands together in front of my face to snap me back to the real world.

"What?"

"Just relax. They wanted to meet you in person. They've heard a lot about you and they just want to know what you're like. They are very curious people, Kai, so just humour them."

"You're telling me to go to dinner with four of the royal families, Martin! How do you expect me to relax?!"

"You have plenty of time to calm your nerves and relax. I think the first thing to do is to calm down, and to write a respectful reply, thanking them for the invitation and that you accept."

"Martin!"

"You will go, Kai. There is no reason for you to refuse them nor would it be wise."

"But… but…"

"No buts, Kai. What happened to your fearless attitude?"

"Fights is one thing, formal dinners is another!"

"Then just get the four royals at the school to help you. They have been banned from training, no? Just ask them what might happen at the dinner and get them to run you through it."

"How are you so calm about this?"

"How are you freaking out about this?"

"This is a perfectly legitimate reaction." I threw my hands up indignantly. "You are no help."

"You will be fine, Kai. Remember how easily you charmed Lord and Lady Badica? Just remember to be yourself and everything will be fine. Besides, you won't be alone with them, the four royals themselves will be there as well."

"Will Trace be there?"

"Trace? Ah yes, I'm not sure."

"I'll ask Jacks and Quinn at dinner if they're there. See you around, Martin. I'd better get to dinner otherwise there'll be no food left!"

"Try and stay out of trouble for the rest of today at least, Kai."

"I'll do my best." I winked before dashing out of the office and tucking the letter into one of my many pockets.

As I was making my way to the dining hall, I frowned when I heard some low but rather angry shouts near the edge of the woods and being the nosy person that I was, I couldn't resist going off to find out what was going on.

I passed by the senior obstacle course and soon I found a dhampir I recognised surrounded by a couple of Moroi and dhampirs. For a moment, I thought that nothing was wrong and that they were just having a friendly fight, but then I took a better look at the surrounded dhampir's expression and it was anything but friendly. In fact, it was downright hostile and furious.

"Just how long are you going to hang around us, you faggot. Hasn't Nick gotten sick of you yet? Or maybe he lets you jack him off whenever he can't get a girl, especially now that Marissa's gone," one of the Moroi sneered as he sent a nasty look at the dhampir.

"I'll bet that Nick's suffering now from withdrawal without Marissa opening her legs wide open for him every day and offering him release."

"You don't have any right to talk about either of them like that!" Christian shouted furiously.

"Don't we? The way I see it, Marissa's gone and her reputation is in the gutter for the world to know and Nick? Well, pretty boy isn't doing any better either. The four royals never cared much for him but now he's angered them, he has no chance of getting back onto the table," the Moroi laughed nastily. "Say, I've always been curious. Does he let you take him with your mouth?"

Christian flushed several shades of red, none of it was due to embarrassment and I could see from the way that he was clenching his fists that he was doing everything he could not to throttle the Moroi. Remembering my fight with him during the weird game from a few days ago during training, I knew that Christian definitely wasn't bad at fighting and he would most likely get a few hits in before the dhampirs held him back.

"No words to say? Well then, I guess he does. Boys, hold him, I'd like to see just what's so special about him that Nick puts up with this freak," the Moroi smiled.

Christian managed to get a few hits against the three dhampirs who suddenly lurched towards him and he managed to knock one of them out but the other two latched onto his arms and legs and forced him onto his knees. I watched in horror and disgust as the Moroi I didn't recognise began to reach to the belt of his trousers and knew that if I didn't step in, Christian was about to be subdued to a mind scarring experience.