Chapter 14: Christmas Spirit

BPOV

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I was sitting beside Edward while Emmett and Alice basically destroyed the whole hospital room with decorations. I wasn't sure how Edward was going to take it because of his relationship with Christmas and Christmas' Eve, but I wasn't going to be the one to point that detail out to Alice and Emmett because they seemed like they needed the distraction.

When they finished, they went to get the food and stuff from the Cullen's house and to let Carlisle and Esme know that the room was ready. I opted out and stayed where I was. I was trying to write something when I felt a tug on my hand. I turned and saw that Edward had his eyes open again.

"Hello there, sweetheart" he smiled and I brushed the hair away from his face "Are you feeling better?"

"My side… hurts… and my… throat" his voice was scratchy but I preferred that over silence.

"Your throat is hurt because of the tube that helped you breathe better. And your side is… well they had to drain the fluid and blood from your lung" He grimaced "It helped you so don't complain"

He looked around the room and saw the decorations "What's… all that?"

"Uh… your sister and your cousin… well…" he smiled and motioned for me to continue "They wanted to brighten up your room, I guess"

"What day… is it, Bella?" he asked and I wanted to hit someone – a Cullen with a taste for decorating or the one who helped her – because they left this part to me.

"Christmas' Eve, sweetheart" Edward closed his eyes and sighed. I could see his face changing to something somber and I didn't like that even one bit. I stroked his hand and whispered "It's going to be okay, Edward. I promise"

He didn't say anything else and I understood it. It was hard for him to get into words what this day meant for him. I knew he still felt guilty about his parents and the general sadness that came with knowing that, in a date for happiness, his family got destroyed. A knock distracted me from the patterns I was drawing on Edward's skin. Esme's head poked out with a smile

"Is everyone awake?" she asked and Edward smiled. I noticed a while ago that Edward couldn't help but smile at Esme every time she gave him one of her 'mother smiles' as Emmett called them. She walked to the bed and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "Are you feeling better?" Edward shrugged and she scowled at him "Don't lie to me, young man"

"A little… sore, still. And my chest… hurts." He answered and cringed when a cough interrupted him in the end. His hand went immediately to his side.

"I'll tell Carlisle or Dr. Zafrina to bring you some pain medicine when the next nurse does her rounds" she told him while stroking his hair. He caught her attention again by grabbing her hand.

"What's… all this? Why?" he asked and she looked at him with affection.

"Ask your twin that. She actually made Carlisle break the rules for today so we could have a family dinner here. Bella's dad is invited, Jasper and Rosalie too." Edward was watching her closely. "You asked me a long time ago to not make you celebrate this day. I accepted it in that moment because it was your decision but… honey, you have so much to be grateful today. Even if you're currently in a hospital bed." Edward wasn't convinced still. "Elizabeth and Edward would love to see you happy, honey" Edward turned his head away with his eyes closed. I could almost see the wheels turning in his head. I looked at Esme and she smiled sadly at me. "Edward, you can tell Alice you don't want to do anything today. But it'll have to be you that do that. I'm not gonna be your messenger this time. Your sister is trying to do something nice and different for you and I'm not gonna spoil it for her" she gave him a kiss on the cheek and turned to leave "I'll see you guys later, whatever your choice might me, sweetie"

After Esme left us, Edward remained with his eyes closed. I couldn't stand it any longer "Do you want me to leave you alone?" he didn't say anything right away so I took it as a yes. "Okay, then"

I got up and grabbed my things. Charlie had been bugging me about going home even for a few moments for days. Maybe this was the right moment to do so, but my feet felt like stones while taking the steps to the door. I opened it and said "See you later, sweetheart, I love you"

Edward then screamed at me "Don't leave! Please, Bella! Don't leave me alone! Please!" I dropped everything and returned to his side. His chest was heaving and I thought he was having a new attack until I saw his face. He was sobbing hysterically and his tears were falling freely on the pillow. I knew that he could develop a new attack if he didn't control himself.

"I won't leave you but please calm down, love. Calm down. Shhhh it's okay, love. Don't panic. It's okay" I stroked his cheek and sent a text to Alice telling her to come here ASAP Or I think that's what I wrote.

I kept soothing him while he sobbed quietly now. I was kind of worried for is health but also for his mind. He seemed kind of lost right now and I didn't know if I should call Alice and hugged her or murder her slowly for doing this to her brother. Speaking of the devil… While I decided on my options, Alice opened the door slowly and looked at the scene in front of her without making a sound. Emmett, Jasper and Rose were with her and I knew I had to let Edward know his family and friends were there.

"Love, your twin and your cousin are here. Jasper and Rosalie too…" he opened his eyes. Damn, his eyes are bloodshot from crying. Alice came to my side and sat on the bed with him. I let go of his hand so she could take it.

"What's going on, twin of mine?" she asked with a voice so soothing I almost wanted to confess all my troubles to her. He didn't answer, only looked at her in the eyes and kept crying softly "Oh, Edward. I know you miss them. I do too, but we can't keep hiding or trying to stop living because they're not here physically with us." Edward remained quiet but his tears were less and less with each of her words "I remember our first Christmas with Esme and Carlisle, do you?" Edward nodded but didn't say anything "You freaked out when Esme pulled out the lights to hang in the living room. You had to stay in the hospital overnight because of a panic attack. It's okay to be afraid. It's also okay to feel pain and remember our parents with mixed emotions. What's not okay is to remain in the past and not moving on"

"How?" was the only thing out of Edward's mouth. I felt a squeeze in my hand and looked up to see Jasper. They were all watching without making a sound.

"Living… loving… being grateful… there's so many ways to honor them, twin. So many ways. And you know that. Every time you take a pencil to draw, you honor mom's love for the arts. Every time you, or me, do good at school, we honor dad's preoccupation for our futures. Every time we love we honor them."

I squeezed Jasper's hand this time and he smiled at me before clearing his throat "Besides, Christmas Tree, we're already here. And, to be honest, we're kind of hungry so… if you're going to throw us away, we're kidnapping the food"

"No one's kidnapping the food!" Emmett's voice boomed around the room making Edward laugh and nod, which made everyone be in motion to prepare everything.

Alice hugged Edward without disturbing the wires and whispered in his ear "I love you, so much" and he kissed her cheek. She smiled and started taking bowls after bowls of food from the coolers Emmett and Jasper carried around. Apparently that was the unspoken sign for everyone to join us. My dad was with Carlisle and Esme and he came to hug me first before flashing a weird grin at Edward and going to grab a plate and a root beer. Alice placed some food on plates and handled it to Edward and me. It was a weird way to celebrate Christmas' Eve.

Emmett went to grab the remote and changed it to the sports' channel where a basketball game was starting and after cheering grabbed his things and set camp at the foot of Edward's bed. I looked around and realized that I was in my place…not because we were in a hospital, but because we were all together. A family. I sat beside Edward on the bed and he put his head on my shoulder while smiling faintly at the weird sound the voices of our family made. I looked at him then…

"You just have to say the word; I'll kick their asses out. I promise" he laughed quietly.

"I know you would… but it's okay." He said and I nodded "At least… until Emmett starts sulking because… his team is losing…" he added and I laughed.

"My team won't lose this time, little brother. You'll see." Emmett said with a piece of roast beef on his mouth making everyone laugh except for Alice and Esme…

Well… That's the spirit…

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AN: I'm sorry for the delay, I know I said I would be here as soon as possible. But... my grandma passed away like 3 weeks ago and honestly, this chapter was already on the works but... I just couldn't do it. I finished it right now and I'm gonna start with Prince of Hearts today too... hopefully next chapters will be better than this one... and faster too... thanks for waiting.

AYEN.