A/N: This chapter is all over the place, but bare with me. I thought summer would be easier to update and write, but my summer school is just as bad a regular school. But that's what I get for wanting to get ahead in math. I'm thinking of publishing my new story this coming Friday, going to turn fifteen. Going strong. So that's my gift to you. And bare with me, there may be some errors. But enjoy!
Chapter Eleven
Four years ago...
Tris remembers to buys extra bottles of champagne this time because last time, Uriah manage to knock out all of the bottles causing them to break and shatter against the hardwood floor.
Champagne has got to be one of Tris' top ten alcohol drinks. She loves it so much because it reminds her of her first date with Tobias and how she felt so scandalous drinking under age, even if she was only three month under the age of twenty-one.
As Tris buys five bottles of the alcohol, three for the party and two for herself later. She roams through the different aisles piling her shopping cart with large bags of chips and soda. She also buys other food to cook for the party.
New Years isn't something that Tris looks forward to. Yeah, it's a nice feeling of making it through three hundred sixty-five days of torture, but New Year's party gets boring after a while.
Tris finds herself spending a little too much money for this party that Tobias thought would be a good idea for. He had recently proposed so this is where she and him will be announcing the engagement. She plays with the ring as the cashier scans and bags her items into paper bags. Never in her life would she have thought that there would be a ring on her left ring finger. She always thought she would die alone with her futuristic cat named Theo.
"Cash or credit?"
Tris is pulled away from her thoughts as the cashier stares annoyingly at her.
"Oh, sorry, here." She hands the man her credit card that earns her an eye roll. Some people are just so rude.
Tris smiles sweetly at the cash register man in a sarcastic sense. She wheels her cart outside the store after she finishes checking out and buying her items. She's already impatient with this whole shopping trip that Tobias forced her into.
"I hate you." Tris says immediately as she answers her phone.
"What did I do this time?" Tobias pulls on his hair as he smiles into the phone.
"Next time, you are going to go grocery shopping for this party. After all, it is your party." She says into the phone.
"Was it that bad?"
"I mean it was okay. I just don't like grocery shopping in general. Some people literally have to learn to leave their cart one one side of the aisle. No one can fucking get anywhere if your cart is literally smack daddy in the middle. Like jeez. And don't get me started on this one lady. She started screaming at me of 'being in the way'. Like what the fuck? She was like 'Ma'am I don't appreciate you hogging the space in this aisle'. Like excuse me, I don't appreciate you and your damn dog drooling all over my shoes. That's right bitch, your dog is stupid. Ugh, like people these days. They literally need to learn." She continues rambling about her horrid grocery trip.
Tobias had put his phone down to make a cup of coffee. He put the phone on speaker, but left it two rooms down. He comes back in time as she finishes her rant.
He wings it. "I agree."
"It's so nice to finally let it all out to someone." Tris says.
"Mhm." He hums.
"I'll see you at home, love you."
"I love you more, bye." Tobias puts his phone down and waits for Tris to come home. Sometimes...actually most of the times, he is a lost puppy waiting for Tris to tell him what to do. Zeke always jokes that he is whipped, but where is his dignity if he does admit to it? Which is horrible because Tobias knows he is so whipped.
"Boo!" A blond giggling face pops out of nowhere, but Tobias does not flinch. He checks his watch and sees that she has come home within fifteen minutes.
"You're not that scary, Tris." Tobias says with a smile making Tris frown.
"Fine, just because of that, you're not getting dessert tonight." Tris tells him.
"You bought cake?" Tobias' eyes suddenly light up.
Tris' fingers crawl up Tobias' chest as she actually says, "sure, but I was actually talking about this new push-up bra and panties I bought the other day. They really make my boobs look bigger." Oh, that dessert. "But I guess you're fine because, you know, I guess you were expecting cake tonight."
He groans loudly as he adjusts himself.
"What?" I smile. "Cat got your tongue?"
Tobias pushes her roughly against the wall. "When I get my hands on you..." He growls and bites her bottom lip.
"Hey-O!" Then a scream. "Why does this always happen? Every. Single. Time. Get a room, my abnormally horny friends!" Tobias lets go of Tris and sighs as her hears Tris' close friends comes into her apartment.
"Hey, Uri." Tris says as she composes herself. Four continues to face the wall as he tries to calm himself down. He walks back to their room walking sideways steps in order to continue facing away from Uriah.
Tobias mutters about how their apartment door is always unlocked and how 'they' are always ruining the moment.
"Anyways..." Uriah sings. "We bought the beer."
"We?"
"Zeke and I. He should be coming right about-"
"Hey guys!" A smiling Zeke enters the apartment.
"Now." Uriah finishes.
"Come on boys, help me clean up. People should be coming in soon." Tris says as she takes out a small vacuum.
The two brothers groan but comply.
When Tris goes back to her and Tobias' bedroom, she hears Tobias groaning in the shower. Part of her gets really turned on by knowing what is happening behind the closed doors, but the other part knows she has to be helping the boys clean their apartment.
"Trissss..." She hears Tobias moan. With that, she walks in the bathroom and strips her clothes.
Tris laughs out loud at something her best friend says even though it wasn't that funny. She wiggles herself around as she sits on her boyfriend's lap and turns to face him.
Her eyes twinkle and she smiles she stares into her boyfriend's eyes. "Do you have a New Year's resolution?"
"Not exactly." Tris plays with the bottom lip of Tobias.
"Do you want to know my New Year's resolution?"
"What is it?" Though Tobias is in a buzzed state, he still manages to have a conversation with his fiancé.
"I want to be a better girlfriend." In her sober state, she would never admit this. "Sometimes I feel like you deserve more, and I know you're happy with me, I just wish I could give you more than you deserve." She admits while staring at the floor. "I'm scared that one day you'll realize you don't want me and leave. Don't leave me, okay?"
"Tris." He forces her to look at him and when she does, he tucks in a chunk of hair behind her ear. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I would never in a million years leave you. Now matter what. You're going to be stuck with me for a very, very long time. Okay?"
She slowly nods her head. "Good, because I don't know what I'd do without you." She smiles and he smiles back hugging her closer to him.
"I love you."
They don't realize it's ten seconds till midnight until they hear their friends shouting in the background.
"Ten...nine...eight..." Tobias leans in close and rubs his nose against hers. "...four...three...two...one...Happy New Year!" He grins and presses his lips sealing a promise to her that he eventually does not keep.
Present Day...
"Hey my internet friends! Today, I am here to talk about New Year's." She says. "I've been getting a lot of questions regarding the topic and I am here to answer some of yours in what I believe is the best answers."
She pulls out her phone and reads off the first one. "Tris, what are you New Year's resolution and how do you manage to keep them. Okay, well personally, I don't have New Year's resolution, at least not anymore because I find that I, myself never keep them as well as my friends and family. I do not discourage not making them, but if you do, I recommend hanging note cards everywhere reminding yourself of that goal you have. My brother, every year, I would see him have little small pieces of papers hung up everywhere in the house that says his goal. He'd go through with it for like two months, but then in March those little notes would be gone. But point is, makes sure you have a constant reminder of your goal so it will always be on your mind when you are home.
"Next question, why do you hate New Year's so much." Tris looks at the camera and back to her phone. "Ah, as many of you know, New Year's isn't my favorite thing to celebrate. It's more of a personal reason, but I'll just say, it reminds me of broken promises and failed years. Is it just me, or...but when I reflect on my year, I often think more of all the bad things that happened because they tend to linger on my mind more than the good things. New Year's always reminds me of what...ah..let's just say I'm more of a pessimist than an optimist. Which is really bad. I know.
"Uhm...what has been your favorite memory this year? Well, I have two. I love, love going to VidCon because not only do I get to spend time with you guys, I just love it in general because I get to meet really cool people and meet or reunite with other Youtubers. It's usually what I look forward to every year. My second favorite memory was when I got to go bungee jumping in Yosemite. It was incredibly terrifying to the thought of jumping out of a bridge 300 feet high, but it was so fun. So yeah, those were my favorite memories.
"Can you make a tutorial on your favorite New Year's drink?" Tris grins widely. "You asked the perfect girl for this."
Five minutes later, an excited Tris has her camera set up in he kitchen with a variety of alcoholic drinks sitting on the empty marble counter. "I learned this recipe from my mom who I'm pretty sure found it online. It's funny, because once I hit 21, my mom started sharing so many recipes with me, that included alcohol. Don't get me wrong I love to drink. If you're under twenty one please don't be doing anything illegal. And if you are over the age or allowed to drink, you can skip this part of watch I don't care. You can share this with a friend of family, doesn't matter to me." Tris rambles. "But anyways, as you all know. I love champagne. And this recipe is for like a large group, just to warn you.
"So what I have is one cup of superfine sugar, a cup of lemon juice, a quart and a cup of water, four ounces of dark rum, one and a half cup of brandy and one bottle of a rut champagne." Tris points to each ingredient laid in front of her.
"First, you want to dissolve the sugar into the lemon juice. Then, you dump everything in besides the champagne, leave it out for like half an hour or until the party. When you are going to serve it, you would then pour the champagne in and dump a bucket load of ice. This drink is called the Jubal Early Punch and it's one of my favorites." Tris sets the mixture aside that she will use for Christina and Will's party for later.
When she sets up her stuff back in her room she continues to answer several questions.
"Okay last one, will Uris finally be a thing next year. Uris...? Oh! Me and Uriah?" She then laughs. "No we're just friends. I don't think we'll ever be more than that especially since he and I totally moved on from each other. But no, sorry guy. I think I'm done with dating guys for a little while. Which if you think about it is sort of sad because I've only had three guys in my life. Wow. I'm going to be forever alone. It's a good thing I have this!" Tris pulls out a bottle of Vodka as a joke. "I'm kidding. Please don't watch this if you are under 18. I'm such a bad influence. Anyways...subscribe to my channel and my other channel that I share with Uriah. I'll see you guys next week. Bye, bye! And Happy New Year's!"
She goes onto her laptop and uploads the videos she recorded into her Mac. It takes her a while to make edits and cuts to her mini bloopers and 'inappropriate moments'. As much as she tries, she attempts to keep her sexual innuendos and curse words to a minimum, but it never really happens. She just can't help herself.
As she is just about done, she hears the pounding of little feet.
"Mommy! Mommy!" She looks up to her small three year old with a small smile on her face.
"Hey sweetie." The little blonde screeches and hides on the other side of her bed.
"Hewp. Daddy being bad! Hewp me!" Tris hears louder footsteps as a man comes charging in her room.
"Where's my little tickle monster." Her husband shouts as he pretends to not know where his daughter is.
"Not hewe." A small voice says from behind.
Tris slaps her forehead with her hand. "Baby girl, when you're hiding, you usually don't say where you are."
The girl giggles. "Sowwy."
Tris looks up and her eyes meets with Robert. He smiles and says, "I love you. We made a beautiful girl, you know that?" He at the edge of the bed next to her. "Hey you okay?"
She shakes her head. "It's nothing."
"You sure? Hey, Tris look at me. Tris? Sweetheart? Tris. Tris-"
"TRIS! For god's sakes wake up. Tris!" Tris' eyes snap open as she bolts up from her previous position. Her eyes focus and she realizes she fell asleep mid-editing. She rubs her eyes and her focus turns to Christina standing impatiently in the doorway.
"Sorry, I..." Her attention goes to the dream she had with her dead husband and nonexistent daughter.
"You okay?"
"I just had the weirdest dream. Uh..ah...Robert was there and I had a daughter. It was weird. And I..." Her chest constricts at the thought that she will never have a future with him.
"Hey." Christina sits besides her. "I'm here if you ever need to talk to someone. I know it's almost been a year. But he'd be so proud of you for almost moving on."
"Yeah...Uhm, anyways, what is it that you need?" Christina becomes a little frustrated that she changed the topic so easily. She just wished Tris would be more open about her feelings instead of constantly bottling them up.
"I'm here to pick you up, remember?"
"Is it three already?" She looks at her digital alarm clock and sure enough, it is. "Oh okay, let me just finish this up and we'll leave, sound good?"
"Of course. I'll be on the couch."
"Of course you will."
Tobias knows Tris will be at the New Year's party because after all, he is going to her best friend's house. Will knows he's coming, so hopefully that would bypass Christina' anger if he happens to run into her. Zeke was the one who suggest for him to come. Though it took a lot of promises and favors from Zeke, he managed to convince Tobias to tag along with him.
"Hey-o! My friend!" Zeke tosses the spare apartment keys Tobias gave him to the nearest table.
"Don't lose that." He points to the metal object.
"Oh, I won't, trust me."
"I don't. That's the thing." Tobias says with seriousness.
"I bought wine and flowers because knowing Christina, she may be a little dramatic-"
"A little?"
Zeke ignores his friend's comment. "So you are going to give her this when they invite us in. Zeke hands Tobias the bouquet of flowers and red wine that Christina loves.
Tobias is the one that ends up driving them to the party and he can't help but feel extremely anxious throughout the drive there. As he pulls up to their driveway, he sees Tris' car already parked in the front. This only makes him even more anxious.
"I don't know why you made us come early. I think it's better to come later so that way they won't notice us."
"Yeah...but-" he says in a playful tone, "-that means you have more alone time with Tris." He points out. Although that may be true, Tobias isn't sure he wants to spend time alone with Tris.
"I'm pretty sure she hates me."
"Well obviously, but it's still better than trying to talk to you as drunk people roam around the house."
"Zeke, this isn't some college frat party."
"I know, but you know what I mean. But for now-" Zeke shoves the flowers and wine in Tobias' hands almost causing him to drop them due to the sudden surprise.
"Thanks."
"No problem, bud."
Zeke walks towards the front door, but Tobias slowly lingers behind trying to stall as much as possible.
"For pete's sakes, Tobias!" Zeke walks back and grabs Tobias by the arm dragging him along to the front door. Zeke rings the doorbell and the door swings wide open.
Tris stands in front with a long sleeve dress that stops mid-thigh. Her hair is curled and she has very light makeup on. Her eyes are as wide with her mouth hung slightly open.
"Uh..." She says for the longest time. "Uhm, hi." She says as awkward as it can get. "Uh...Uhm...I- we...uh hi. I'm just going to." She slowly backs away from the door. "You know. I'm on my period." She blurts a stupid phase and dashes away.
I'm on my period? Seriously, Tris? Can you get any stupider than that? She asks herself as she marches straight to Christina's room.
Zeke and Tobias stand uncomfortably as Will spots the duo.
"Hey guys! How did you get in here? Chris and I didn't hear...oh." He stops mid way his sentence. "Okay, how bad was it?"
Zeke answers. "Bad. Like the name North West bad."
"Oh shit. That's bad." Will bites his lip at the Kanye West reference.
"I should go check on the girls. They're probably going to give me a handful but I'm dating Christina, so I'm used to it." Will says giving the boys a playful smile.
"HE WHAT?!" Is the first thing Will hears as he makes his way towards his and Christina's room.
"Knock, knock." Will says softly.
"Oh don't you go knocking on my door, you son of a bitch!" Christina yells.
"Woah." He puts his hands up in defense. "I'm sorry Tris, but I did this because he is my friend, and although I know you probably hate me right now, it doesn't really matter to me. Look he cheated. You got over him, I don't understand the big deal out of this because you are perfectly fine without him and one short evening isn't going to do harm." Will shrugs his shoulders.
"Will, I hate the fact that I can't hate you right now. Curse you and your stupid nice personality." Never in Christina's and Will's relationship dos will ever do anything to wrong her. If nothing, Will is like an older brother to Tris. Always defending her and Christina even if they don't need it. He's such a sweetheart. "All I know is that you, my friend, aren't going to get lucky tonight." Tris can visibly see Will's shoulder slump and Christina continues to glare at him. However, she knows that Chris is the forgiving type and will end up immediately forgiving him for inviting her best friend's ex to the party.
"Anyways, I'll be down if you need me." Tris takes a calming breath before going to the living room, silently wishing Tobias is not in there.
The room is empty and she wonders for a second if she can go back to Christina's room and lock herself in it as she watches TV shows on her phone.
"Hey." Tobias slowly approaches her.
She plays with the skirt of her dress as her eyes dart everywhere in the room but the devil himself. "Hi." She says breathlessly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude."
She shakes her head. "It is what it is, right?"
"Look, babe- Tris, I mean-"
"Tobias, like I said, it is what it is. We all have regrets, and you can't change the fact that our actions define us- who we are as people. And, I know things could have been different. But you have to live with these decisions we make."
He takes a step forward almost until their bodies are pressed into one another. Tobias takes a deep breath, "I wish things were different. With you and me. With us."
There's a long silence. "I should help them take out the food and drinks. I should go." Tobias exhales a large breath.
He slowly nods his head. "Yeah, of course." He watches her leave the room as he curses himself for ruining his chance of speaking with her. This emptiness he feels without her presence is heart wrenchin
The moment Tris enters the kitchen, she heads straight for the fridge and grabs a bottle of beer.
"Woah. Slow down tiger. It's only seven, and you're already drinking. You know, it's not even twelve yet, and that's usually when the party gets started." Tris turns around and gives a forced smile.
"Hey, Uri. I'm just a little...I don't know. I just need a drink." She pops open the bottle with the assistance of a bottle opener and takes a swig of the beer. Her lips pucker at the bitter taste. "I don't even like beer, and I have no idea why I'm drinking it? Do you want it?" She asks handing him the drink.
"I'm good."
She puts the beer on the counter and hauls her body so she sits besides her drink as she swings her legs back and forth.
"So what's up?"
"Ah. The award winning question." He's stuck in the middle with trying to carry on a casual conversation and confronting his feelings to his best friend. "Not much really though. So, do you have any New Year's resolution?"
"Uri, you know I don't believe in that stuff anymore."
"But you gotta have something you want to improve...anything."
"Uhm...I want to...focus more on work and instead of distractions. I don't know!"
He smiles. "That's a start. And what do you mean by 'distractions'."
"Boys, TV, life. I don't really know. I feel like a high schooler all over again when I say that. But I guess it's sort true, you know. With Roberth gone, I just have to move on. And don't get me started with Tobias. It's like I'm seeing him left and right these days. So yeah, no more boys. More work and less play."
Uriah tries not to appear hurt when he says this to her. How is he supposed to confront his feelings when she doesn't even want to be in a relationship? And also now that Tobias is suddenly appearing everywhere? He's stuck in a virtual reality of a mess.
"Well.." He says after a long pause. "I'll drink to that." Tris hands him her beer and he tips it in her direction before taking a large gulp.
Three hours later, the house is filled with friends of Christina and Will's. Red solo cups are discarded everywhere as music plays through your the house. They managed to get cool lighting for the living room where most people are there do dance around. By this time, Tris is tipsy and she stumbles everywhere in the house.
"Woahh." She almost trips over her feet.
"Hey!" Uriah cheerfully speaks. "You know, Tris, I've been meaning to tell you spent long for a very long time." They're both alone in the patio.
"Okay, what's up?"
"I think I still love you." Her senses suddenly awaken as the little hairs on her neck stand to attention.
"What? You're drunk, Uriah. I'm drunk, you're drunk."
"Yeah, but isn't there a saying that, when you're drunk, you tend to be more honest? Something like that. I forget the words. But it's true. I still love you. Haven't stopped since high school."
"That was ten years ago."
"You never forget your first love, Tris. That's goes for everything."
Her mind swirls as a series of information is thrown at her. It feels like Uriah just took a baseball and threw it at her gut.
"I need a breather." She says, but it's ironic because they're already outside. She ends up going back inside to the crowded house and sweaty mess of room. "And more drinks. Yeah, that's what I need." Ironically, there aren't many people in the kitchen where all the drinks are.
It's a half an hour till midnight when Tris is completely drunk. She has had five drinks and is completely out of her mind.
"Woooo! Party!" She screams as she grinds against an unknown male. She earns many screams in response. "Oh gosh." Her stomach suddenly twists and groans. "I'm going to be sick." She ends up trying to run to the bathroom before tripping on her legs and falling in her face. "Ow."
She pushes herself off her feet when she feels her dinner about to come out. As she runs to her friend's room, she goes into their bathroom before bending over the toilet and throwing up.
She opens the medicine cabinet and looks for the spare toothbrush she uses in case she needs to crash in their place. Christina and Will have the same thing at her place just in case one of them ever get into a huge fight and need to crash as well.
She brushes her teeth and washes her mouth with mouthwash. "Never again."
After she finishes, she opens another cabinet and finds air freshener and sprays it everywhere in the room masking the smell of her vomit. She opens the window, just slightly to allow some fresh air in.
"You okay?" She hears a voice.
"Woah. God? Wait, no. Stupid question."
She looks up and sees Tobias standing in the doorway.
"Not really. I'm sort of really drunk right now."
She walks out and sits on the bed of her friend's. "Come sit with me." She pats the bed and let's out a giggle.
"That sort of makes me feel better because I think I drank a little too much too." He says before sitting besides her on the bed.
"How was your year."
"Crappy. Like always." He answers softly. She lays her head on his shoulder.
"Sometimes I wonder why you didn't try harder. You just let me go. You didn't even try to get me back, Tobias." She feels a tear run down her face. But at the same time, it feels like a weight has been lifted at her confession. "Maybe if you tried harder we could have been still together. I always wanted to have kids. But I knew you didn't. Remember after our late nights when we would talk about our futures. You would always listen to me as I talk about children. But I knew you didn't want them. Maybe that's where we went wrong. We had too many flaws and secrets." She wonders if Tobias had never left she wouldn't have met Robert and they wouldn't have fell in love. Maybe she wouldn't have to go through so much pain of Tobias' cheating and Robert's death.
Tobias stays silent as he listens to Tris continue rambling. "Here's to a better year, right?" He doesn't really know how to respond. So instead, he says something else to steer the conversation elsewhere.
"Right." She yawns which ends up sounding like a baby kitten.
She feels her head hit the soft pillow and arms circling around her body. She feels the even breaths on her neck as hers start to slow as well. She feels warmth engulfing her body as she falls asleep.
But most of all, she feels safe. Safe in the arms of a man who cause her so much pain.
Within the last two minutes before New Year, Christina and Will both look for Tris hoping nothing bad has happened to her.
"Woah." Christina says as she opens the door to her bedroom. For a second she feels content for her friend. Looking at the two brings back a smile on her face.
"What?" Will peaks in the room. "Should we wake them?"
A soft smile lingers on Christina's face. "No, I think they're fine like that."
"But that's our bed." Christina smack Will in the arm.
"We have a guest room, it's fine."
As the New Year arrive, Tobias and Tris stay content in each other's arms.
"3-2-1! Happy New Year!" The crowd shouts.
He tucks a strand of hair out of her face. "Happy New Year, my love. Stay safe."
He was her guardian angel- keeping all things bad away. Not all thing could be mended and fixed, but he knew they could be.