A/N: Hi friends! I'm so sorry I haven't been updating in forever! I originally started to write this chapter back in September, but it gave me a major writer's block, so I got rid of that draft and rewrote the whole thing. Life has gotten in the way as well as pure laziness and procrastination. I really appreciate all of you who have been super patient. Thank you for that! You guys are truly amazing and are the main reason why I continue to write. I promise, I will finish this story, I have most of it planned out, so don't worry. I'm not leaving.
Also on another note, I would like to give HUGE thanks to my awesome beta reader eunice339 for all your hard work. You make my life 100x easier and I really appreciate everything you do for me.
Chapter 15
Movies and White Fluffy Unicorns
Three years ago...
The silence in the room is making her feel extremely uncomfortable as she stares at the camera in front of her. Tris is sitting at her desk, her legs criss-crossed while her hands rest on the desktop, the fingers intertwined but motionless. Her hair is carelessly tied up in a bun. Several strands of hair have fallen to the side around her eyes – eyes that are usually bright, but now look dull; the fire that is almost always there has gone. Instead, they are a flat gray color, red and puffy around the rims from crying.
"Hi guys," she says breathlessly. "I'm sorry this isn't one of my usual videos, but I just wanted you to know that I'm going to stop making videos for the time being. I know I look like a mess right now, but honestly I could care less. You guys on the internet are, like, my second family. Disregarding some of the hate I get, which is a hundred percent tolerable and I don't really take those comments to heart because I've learned to ignore them, but I just wanted to share something personal that has occurred. It's a sensitive topic, so if you want to know then you can keep listening, but if not – if you don't really give a shit about my life – I really don't care if you leave right now. Sorry, I feel like I'm just rambling right now." Tris lets out a forced laugh.
There is a long pause before she continues, "Four and I broke up. Some of you are probably thinking I'm just being a whiny bitch and that I made this video so I could complain about him and everything, but that's not my intention. My intention for this video is to let you know that I'm going be on, like, a hiatus.
"Four was my first long-term boyfriend. I've only ever had two boyfriends in my life. My first, as all of you know was Uriah, but we had a mutual break up and are still best friends. With Four, it's different, because I've never experienced heartbreak before, but now that I have…it hurts, a lot.
"Call me weak, call me stupid for all I care, but I just wanted to update you in case you start wondering why you no longer see him in my videos or whatever. That's one of the down sides of the internet. Because if you don't see someone for a certain amount of time, I end up getting so many comments asking why that particular person hasn't shown up in a while." Tris wipes her wet cheek with the back of her hand.
"I hope you all understand my predicament. It's really hard getting up everyday and forcing myself to get through the day. I really loved Four, I still love him, but I really hope you guys understand that I won't be making videos for a while. Thank you for spending time with me. I know this wasn't the video you were expecting, and I know it's totally short, but I really hope to see you guys soon and not be gone for too long. Thanks again, and I'll see you guys later. Bye."
Tris stares at the camera for a minute longer before finally getting up to turn it off. She then takes out the SIM card and inserts it into her laptop. She doesn't bother editing it because she doesn't want to see her red eyes and that helpless look on her face that she already has to deal with every morning. Instead, she uploads it to her YouTube channel and leaves it at that.
Tris plops back down onto her desk chair and buries her face in her hand.
"God, I'm such a hot mess," she says under her breath.
Present Day...
The office is surrounded in eerie silence as the small paper spit ball flies through the air and lands on the back of the neck of the CEO of Sony.
Tris laughs out loud as everyone else turns to stare at her, their eyes wide and mouths hanging ajar. Edgar's hand touches the place where he was hit as he slowly turns around. His eyes dance across the room searching for the culprit before finally settling towards Tris' direction.
"Prior, what is this?" he asks even though he knows the answer to his question.
"What?" Tris shrugs. "I'm bored and I'm almost finished with all the projects you've given to me." Tris presses her lips together then turns them up, giving her boss a crooked smile.
He points a finger at her, "you are so lucky I like you." Edgar turns and leaves to go back into his office. Tris makes sure her boss is out of view before rolling herself to Volker's desk right beside hers.
"Guess who owes me twenty bucks?" Tris sings as the German gives her a dirty luck.
"Zicke," Volker mutters under his breath.
"Hey! Sweetie, it's not nice cussing at someone in another language. In fact, it's plain rude," she declares in an overly dramatic way. Volker just rolls his eyes and hands her the twenty dollars.
"What are you going to do with your winnings this weekend, my darling?"
"I don't really know. My life is sort of a mess right now. First, my best friend hates me, my other best friend is getting married so I have to help her plan some stuff, and my ex...my gosh, don't get me started on my ex. I don't know, man, I'm just trying to sort through all my problems right now."
"Hold up, sweetie, you're ex? Like the hot, blue-eyed man candy?"
"Yes, the one that cheated on me and has now somehow wormed his way back into my life like the stupid, delicious man that he is." The words slip out of her mouth without her realizing it.
"'Delicious' huh?" Volker asks, giving her a sly smile.
"Shut up! I don't hear you disagreeing," Tris reasons.
"That is very true. So tell me more about Four. What has he done to annoy such a beautifully, annoying, little bitch?" Tris takes a pencil and chucks it at him.
"Can I be honest with you? Deep down, I still like him a lot. He's still that incredibly kind and intelligent person I originally fell in love with, but then again he cheated on me. So, how can I trust him not to hurt me again? He keeps popping up everywhere and I don't know what to do. I'm so confused and it's...ugh! It's so frustrating. I've never been so confused in my entire life. And at the same time, I feel like I should hold back, like I'm doing wrong by Robert," she rants.
"Darling, is this what it's about? Robert? You need to understand that Robert would have wanted you to move on. You can't keep letting him hold you back from your full potential. He would want you to be happy. You should learn from Robert, life is too short to stay mad at Four forever. If you think that there might still be a spark with the man candy, I think you should go for it. I think the time you spent apart from him should teach you to appreciate that you have a second chance with him. Sure, he was an asshole for cheating on you, but spend some time with him. Maybe he has changed. Baby girl, not everyone gets to have a second chance with a person they once loved." Tris stays silent throughout Volker's mini speech.
"You're right. Maybe I should call him. Should I call him? Do you think I would seem too desperate if I called him? Maybe I should wait until he calls me. I don't want to look desperate. Or I can just–"
"Honey," Volker shakes his head and cuts her off before she can continue rambling, "just, call him."
"Okay," she nods her head. Tris takes out her phone and sends Four a quick text, "Hey, do you want to come over to watch a movie or something?"
"I just sent him a text asking him if he wants to come over."
"Whatever happened to calling the boy? Do you know what? It doesn't matter." There's a small moment of pause before Volker registers what Tris has just told him. "Wait, did you just say you invited him over to your place? I hope you're not planning on doing the dirty with him."
"No! That's not my intention! I just want to hang out and talk with him privately."
"I'm just playing with you, darling. Just make sure that he knows you only want to hang out with him, and not the other thing," he says wiggling his eyebrows up and down.
"You are a disgusting pig. No wonder you're single again."
"Look who's talking, baby girl."
"Mhm...and when was the last time you went out on a date?" Tris asks, smirking.
"Shut up, Blondie," he mutters with that smooth German accent of his.
After a long moment of silence, Tris finally says, "we should probably get back to work before we get fired."
"For once, I agree with you, sweetheart – Ow! Fuck! Hey, stop it with those spitballs. I'm just gonna – you know," Volker gestures to his desk as he slowly rolls himself on his chair back to it.
"I think that's a good idea, sweetheart."
After a long day of work, planning a new project for the latest Sony camera and completing all of the paperwork to get it started, Tris heads home and immediately crashes onto her couch.
It's around six-thirty when the doorbell to her house rings, just as she is preparing dinner. At first, she thinks it's Tobias coming over to watch the movie, but then she remembers that he texted her back saying he wouldn't be able to get there until a little bit after seven forty-five. Curious, Tris quickly runs to the door and opens it to see Uriah standing there holding a bouquet of roses.
"Apology roses for being such a dick?" he states, unsure if he'll be welcomed inside.
"Come in, come in." Tris wipes her hands onto her apron and then motions for Uriah to enter the house.
Once Uriah steps inside the front door, he places the roses on the small table beside it.
"How are you? How have you been the past few weeks?"
After their fight, Tris decided not to let the argument get to her head. Sure there were times when she had questioned their friendship, but she never really thought that he still had feelings for her. Despite that, she knew they would eventually be okay because that's how best friends are. No matter how bad things got, there would always be a patch of light that allowed their relationship to be mended.
"I'm great. Thanks for asking. How about you?"
"Good, good. Listen, Bea, I wanted to talk about the other day. I was such an idiot for yelling at you. I was just angry at myself for being so foolish. None of this was your fault. It was mine and I'm sorry."
"Uriah," Tris steps forward to bring him into an embrace. "I'm not mad at you. I was just shocked. I felt so guilty for making you think – or like, if I led you on or something. You're my best friend and I don't want things to be awkward when we're around each other. I love you, but not in a romantic way. You're like my second brother."
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry," he mutters against her shoulder. "I just miss my best friend."
"I miss you, too." She gives him a reassuring smile.
They break apart from their hug and Uriah stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "It's going to take a while, but I hope things can get back to the way they used to be."
Tris presses her lips together and gives a closed smile. "I know they will."
When Tris opens the door of her house for the second time that evening, the first thing she notices about Tobias is the way his hair is sticking up in all directions. He's holding a large bag of tortilla chips in one hand and a container of salsa and guacamole in the other.
Tobias has a small goofy grin on his face. "I brought one of your favorites," he states as he holds up the Mulan DVD. "Well, at least hope it still one of your favorites."
"Oh yes! I haven't seen that movie in forever. I love it so much!" Her smile is so large Tobias cannot help but smile even bigger than before. Tris lets him enter the house and takes the snacks from his hands, placing them on the dining room table.
"Have you eaten dinner yet? I can make you something if you want," Tris offers.
"I'm good, but thank you. I ate right before I came here."
"Oh, ok." Tris starts to fiddle with her fingers. "Umm...we should probably talk first." A tense silence fills the room as Tobias slowly nods his head.
He's reluctant to speak first, so Tris ends up speaking. "I was talking to my co-worker earlier today. He was telling me how life's too short and all that, and he basically made me realize that I shouldn't hold onto this grudge against you anymore. I can't lie and tell you that I'm perfectly fine with what you did, because what you did was incredibly disgusting and heart breaking, but I don't want our relationship to stay awkward forever. Especially since you are suddenly showing up everywhere. Umm..." Tris closes her eyes and exhales.
"Tobias, you need to understand that–," she takes a deep breath before continuing, "that you broke my heart. There were days when I wished I didn't exist and days when I would constantly question my worth after what happened. It's hard when someone you love tears apart your trust and happiness and I..."
Her gaze stays focused on the carpet flooring of the living room. A small tear runs down her face and her chest hurts. It feels like her heart is breaking all over again and all she wants to do is curl up into a ball and cry.
"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I never got to tell you that in person. And I know those words probably mean nothing to you right now. People can say they're sorry, but it doesn't always mean anything. But I am sorry. More than you know. Words and actions cannot express how sorry I am."
"I just want an explanation. Was I not good enough? Did you suddenly realize how bad it would be to spend the rest of your life with me? I want to know why you...you...did what you did." She finds it difficult to say the word aloud, especially in front of him.
"No! No! It was never like that. And I wish I could give you an explanation, but I just – I just don't know what happened. One moment we were okay, and the next I woke up and we were done. I can't remember..." he shuts his eyes trying to see if he can squeeze any memory out of that night. "I know it's a lame explanation, but I really can't remember. And it crushed me that I hurt you, but if you'll let me, I'd like to try and move past this and make it up to you."
"Well..." Tris clears her throat after several minutes of silence. "I'm willing to try. I hope one day we can fully move past this too and be normal around one another again. Friends?" She wipes any remaining wet spots from her cheeks and then sticks her hand out for Tobias to shake.
The warmth of his hand in hers sends tingles down her spine that she hasn't felt in a long while, causing her to quickly retract her hand in surprise.
"So..." she draws out the word hoping to remove some of the tension. "Want some wine? Beer? Water?" She subtly wipes her hands on the back of her jeans.
"Wine sounds great, thanks." His favorite was always Stella Rosa, she remembers.
When Tris walks into her kitchen, she immediately leans against the wall and releases a deep breath. She takes a quick moment to calm herself before she remembers her purpose for going into the kitchen in the first place. She climbs onto the counter to reach the high cabinet and grabs two wine glasses.
Although she has a great love for practically any type of alcoholic drink, her tolerance isn't as high as you would expect. But ever since Tris learned that five ounces of red wine helps blood circulation, she hasn't been able to keep her lips off of the Stella Rosa during dinner-time.
She pours them each a half glass, but when she looks over her shoulder to see Tobias sitting there on the couch staring at his hands, Tris purses her lips, adds more wine to her glass and quickly drowns it within ten seconds. She glances at Tobias once again then puts the wine bottle up to her lips and takes three big gulps. "I needed that," she says to herself before pouring herself another half glass. Picking up the two glasses, she makes her way back to the living room.
"Hey, sorry that took so long. Here's your wine." As Tris hands Tobias his glass, their hands make contact for a brief second, causing Tris' cheeks to heat up slightly.
"Thanks. I put the movie in the DVD player and set everything up. I was just waiting for you to come back before I started the movie," he says, looking at her with a soft expression as she sits down.
"Oh perfect. Thanks."
Tris almost wants to get up and jump out the window with all the awkward tension between them still. Considering she's spent time with him quite a few times already in the past month, she would have expected all the awkward tension to be gone by now, but unfortunately, it's still there.
Tobias is sitting a foot away from her on the couch and he doesn't know if moving closer to her is a good idea or if she would even be okay with it. So many thoughts run through his head at the moment as the movie starts playing. All he wants to do is wrap his arms around her perfect body and hold her close to him forever. He's missed her so much.
The brightness of the television in the dark room illuminates all her facial features making him want to kiss those luscious lips as well. He tries to brush those thoughts away, but all it does is make him think of her more. So instead, he brings the wine glass to his lips and finishes the drink in two large gulps.
I'm going to need more of this, he thinks to himself as he dives into the chips and salsa instead.
"So...how's Zeke and everyone?" Tris snaps him out of his thoughts.
"He's doing well. What about you? I mean, like...uh...how have you been?"
"Good...good..."
Tobias trains his eyes to the painting behind her as she turns her eyes to him.
"You have...uh...there's guacamole on..." Tris motions to the lower part of the left side of his lips. Tobias brings his finger up to his mouth, but brushes at the wrong spot. "No...," she laughs a little. "The other...here." Tris takes the sleeve of her shirt and brings it up to his lips wiping it clean. "There."
Tobias finally brings himself to gaze towards Tris. She stares back at him and the corner of her lips lift up into a smile, and he almost melts.
It's then that Tris realizes how close they have gotten, so she pulls away.
"Ahh...uhh...sorry! I didn't mean to get so close," the words tumble out of her mouth in a quick mess. "Oh, would you look at that?" She stands up from where she's sitting on the couch. "Your glass is empty? Do you want more wine? Here, let me get you some more. I'll be right back."
"Wait! Ugh, okay..." he groans when she leaves the room in a rush and he buries his face into his hands. "Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!" he repeats to himself.
"Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!" Tris says under her breath as she pushes the door to the kitchen open.
Tobias is slowly pacing back and forth when Tris comes back holding two full bottles of red wine.
"We're going to need these."
By the time the credits are rolling down the screen, Tris is lying with her head on Tobias' chest and her legs thrown over the backrest of the sofa. Because of her position, everything is upside down, causing her to giggle for some unknown reason as she attempts to read the credits.
"What's so funny?" Tobias' cheeks are flushed from drinking way too much wine.
"I don't really know. I just love looking at the TV, it makes me laugh."
Over the course of an hour, Tobias and Tris have managed to finish off most of the two bottles of wine. There's only a tad over a cup of wine left in total. However, maybe it's because of his size or possibly because he vowed never to get as drunk as he did that night he woke up in bed with another woman and lost Tris, but Tobias isn't as drunk as Tris.
"Hey, I have a really good idea," Tris states suddenly, moving into a sitting position.
"What?" Tobias laughs.
"I think we should play twenty questions!" Tris exclaims as if it's the best idea she has ever come up with.
"But that's the most boring game in the world. If you wanted to ask me questions, you should just ask instead of playing some dumb game, silly!"
"Oh," she says defeated.
Tobias notices her sudden glum expression. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you sad. Forgive me?"
A bright smile breaks out on her face. "Of course! I could never stay mad at you forever."
"I really like you, Tris." Tris can feel Tobias' breath against her cheek. The rhythm of her heart starts to speed up and his hand makes contact with hers.
"I like you, too. I'm glad we're friends again." Her laugh echoes throughout the room. There's a comfortably, long silence as Tris and Tobias stare at one another.
"Woah!"
"What? What?!" Tris stammers looking all around the room.
"Is that a stuffed unicorn?" Tobias asks as he spies a stuffed unicorn similar to the one in the movie, Despicable Me. "Isn't that the unicorn from the movie with the yellow looking marshmallows that talk in gibberish?"
"You mean minions?" Tris asks.
"Yeah, something like that."
"I don't really like minions. Did you know that Despicable Me spent over half a billion dollars just on marketing for the merchandise alone? It's kinda ridiculous. I don't understand why people waste money for that stuff when we could spend it on schools or to help children," Tris says turning their conversation to a more serious topic.
"I don't know. Companies just do whatever they can to make money, and they don't take into account education or whatever as long they are making money."
"You're right. Our country is so messed up."
"Ha! Tell me about it."
"Tobias, do you want to be my date to Christina and Will's wedding?" Tris looks at Tobias with sudden confidence.
"When is their wedding?"
"I don't really know. It's probably in, like, a year more or less from now."
Tris can see Tobias' wide grin even in the dark. "Can I ask why you're asking me now?"
"I don't really know. I just want to know that you'll be somewhere is my future. Think of it as a promise to us. If we're still friends in a year than will you be my date?"
"What if I want to be more than friends?"
"Oh Tobias!" Tris shoves Tobias lightly on his side. "You're so silly!"
An unknown feeling washes through Tobias as she practically friend-zones him. He has a hard time trying to change the topic because he doesn't know what to talk about with his head feeling so foggy.
"Okay, that unicorn is so adorable!"
Tris giggles at how cute Tobias seems to be at the moment.
"Thanks. I hate it because it reminds me of how awful Despicable Me is, but I keep it because my niece gave it to me."
"You have a niece?"
"Yeah, she's the greatest. Her name is Arianna. Oh! I have pictures, do you want to see?" Before Tobias even has a chance to answer, Tris is already climbing over him to reach for her phone. She scrolls through her pictures, finding one where Arianna is dressed as a bright orange pumpkin for Halloween and shows it to him.
"She kind of looks like you."
Tris looks up from her phone and smiles at him.
Tris yawns loudly, "Can you tell me a story, Tobias?"
Tris lies down on the couch and pats the small space beside her. "Lie down with me," she instructs.
Tobias furrows his eyebrows in thought, wondering if this is a good idea or not. But of course, being intoxicated, he decides to lie down beside her in a spoon position, grabbing the remote and shutting the TV off beforehand.
His arms wrap close around her and Tris sinks into his body.
"Once upon a time there was a village boy..."
"Oh! Oh! Can we name him Declan?"
"Uh...okay." He takes a deep breath before continuing, "He was kind of scrawny boy with shaggy brown hair and blue eyes. In his free time, he worked on fixing computers–"
"That kind of sounds like what you do...but you are muscular. Much, much more muscular." Her fingers poke at his stomach.
"Anyways, he and his family owned a small little farm that produced most of the food for the village."
"Did they grow pickles? I hate pickles."
"Well you can't really grow pickles, because pickles are technically cucumbers. In order to make a pickle you have to soak cucumbers in–"
"Oh yeah...," she interrupts. "Okay, continue."
"One day, Declan and his sister were planting fruit seeds when a small beat-up truck pulled up. A nice looking blonde girl stepped out of the car along with her brother, Samuel. She had light blue eyes and a smile that could be seen for miles."
"Was she pretty?"
"She was the most beautiful girl that Declan had ever seen, so yes. Her name was Clementine. She and her brother Samuel were on their way towards the southern part of Illinois when they got lost. The two of them had been driving around in circles until they came upon the small village where Declan lived."
Tris smiles. "Do they fall in love?"
"Yes, they do. Clementine and Samuel stayed at the village's motel for a few days, but within those days Clementine gets to know Declan and they fall in love," he explains softly.
"But how is that supposed to work? She lives on the other side of the state?" Tris questions as she becomes extremely invested in the story.
"They make it work somehow. Because when you love somebody, you should fight for them no matter what the costs are. I learned that the hard way."
But Tris doesn't catch the last part of what he said. Her eyes start to feel heavy and the deep rumble of his chest just helps to lull her into a deeper trance.
"Did...they ever...get...married...?" Her eyes flutter closed as her body relaxes into his.
Tobias feels Tris' body fall even deeper against his causing a heavenly warmth to spread throughout his body.
"Married?" he asks even though he knows she is asleep. "I really hope they do...one day."