A/N: Hi guys. I just want to take a brief moment to say thank you to those of you who messaged me saying you want me to continue this story. I was so inspired that I wrote this chapter yesterday and well here I am! I really hope to finish this story, but I don't want to make any promises. I haven't been writing in a long time, and I hope this isn't just a phase and then me leaving again for good. I really want to make you guys proud.
The main reason why I stopped writing was that I kind of had no idea about the direction of this story. I felt like there was no storyline and no plot. After re-reading, I kind of realized that nothing interesting has happened in the story. In the end, I had no idea what to write about and that's what caused me to lose interest in this story. I had been reading so many fanfics too at the time, and I was reading so much that I felt there were no more stories to read. It's been three years now and I'm sure many stories have been published. It saddens me knowing some of my favorite authors I used to read do not publish as much nowadays either. But anyway, I took the time to figure where I wanted this story to go. I feel pretty good about it. There's going to be more drama and what not to keep the story interesting. I feel like I tend to write a lot of fluff, but I guess you just have to bear with me and trust me haha! I know this is a really long message, but I wanted you guys to know where I'm at and give you guys an explanation. I really do apologize for this three-year hiatus. Bear with me, it's been a long while since I've been writing. This chapter was just easing back into the groove and seeing where things are for me. I hope you enjoy. Once again, thank you to everyone who showed me support. It means so much. I love you guys! Please let me know what you guys think! Lots of love!
Chapter 18
Five Years Ago...
"Do you think we would ever have kids, Tris?" Tris breaks her attention from the television and looks up to see Tobias staring intensely at her for an answer. Her chest flutters when he implies the notion they may have kids together in the future. They're not even engaged, and yet, she cannot believe he is asking her about their future.
"Well, I hope to. Why? Do you not want to have kids?" Her eyebrows begin to furrow.
'No—wait—no, yes? I mean," He takes a deep breath as he starts to confuse himself. "Yes, I do want to have kids. I do want to have kids." He says again. "I was just curious." Tobias lets out nervous laughter and cratches the back of his head.
Tris suppresses a smile and tilts her head. "Okay." She leans down to press a kiss on his cheek. She turns her attention back to the sitcom playing on the TV.
A few minutes pass as thoughts run through Tobias' head.
"What about marriage?" Tobias blurts out, once again, interrupting her attention from the television.
"Yeah?" She asks, her heart suddenly racing and her chest feeling a little tighter. "And what about marriage?"
"Well like—", Tobias stares at his hands as he plays with his fingers. "Well, like where do you see yourself in the next five years, you know?"
Real smooth, Tobias. He thinks to himself. Just pray she doesn't think you are an idiot.
He prepares himself for the worst as she starts to answer. "Uhm, well I guess I never really thought about that. I'm still pretty young, and I still have to finish school. So I guess maybe in five years I'll have a solid career in engineering maybe photography. I don't know." She scratches her head and thinks for a split second. "I hope to be still making videos with Uriah. I guess, I'll be twenty-six in five years, so that's kind of young though. I hope we are still together in five years. But I'm not sure if I am ready for kids until I'm at least in the late twenties or early thirties?" Tris answers, thinking out loud.
"Do you think you can see a life with me?" Tobias manages the courage to ask. He knows that most couples should have a serious talk before one even considers the idea of getting married. For Tobias, he knows that Tris is in it for the long haul. He cannot imagine a life without her. He feels so confident and so unsure about their relationship. But despite his insecurities, his confidence wins out. That's why two months ago, he and Zeke had bought an engagement ring for Tris. He wants so badly to spend the rest of his life with her and only her.
"Of course I can." At that moment, Tris has all the confidence in the world that she will be spending the rest of her life with him.
Tobias sighs out a breath of relief. He had not even realized he was holding his breath until she gave an answer. Tris notices his stiff behavior and lets out a small giggle that helps put him at ease. "Calm down, Tobias. Do you want to know what I see?"
Tobias nods his head allowing her to continue.
"Well, I see the two of us sitting on a front porch with two little kids running around. I see a little daughter with blonde hair and a son with light brown hair. Hopefully, they get your beautiful deep blue eyes. And maybe—just maybe—we'll have a third kid. But we'll have to see about that."
At that moment, Tobias is filled with so much love and so much emotion. He just cannot believe Tris feels the same way about their future. He smiles a smile that makes Tris' heart melt every time.
"And I guess—", Tobias says in a teasing tone. "Maybe we'll even have that dumb cat you keep talking about how you want in the future."
"The cat is not dumb!" Tris exclaims before hitting Tobias playfully on the chest.
Present Day...
"So...how far along are you, Chris?" Tris asks once she settles down from that mini panic session she had just moments ago.
Christina looks at Will with a glint in her eye. She and Will definitely were not expecting to have a child anytime soon, but the two of them aren't complaining. Sure they will have to now adjust their wedding plans around the pregnancy, but that does not stop the excitement high the couple is currently riding. "About 17 weeks," Christina answers.
"Wow," Tris states with an excited sigh. "Despite that mini-breakdown I just had, I'm genuinely excited for the both of you." Tobias had been on her mind lately. With so many things going on in her mind, so many thoughts swirling, and so many emotions conflicting her, the moment Chris and Will accidentally announced their pregnancy, all of Tris' emotions just broke which led to her freaking out about their pregnancy. Deep down though, she wasn't actually freaking out about them but rather her own feelings about Tobias. Tris shakes her head trying to shoo away her thoughts. "Do you guys know if wedding plans are going to change or anything?"
Will starts to answer but Christina quickly interrupts him. "We're planning to keep things mostly the same. By the time our wedding comes, It should be a few months after the baby is born. As much as I love our baby, I don't want to be pregnant during my wedding. Also, hopefully, I have enough time to get rid of pregnancy weight to fit into my dress too. I got to stay fabulous for the pictures, am I right?' Tris lets out a small chuckle and rolls her eyes.
Just then, she receives a text message from Tobias. Butterflies start to erupt in her stomach, but the moment she reads his message, it's as if her heart suddenly deflates.
'Sorry, can't hang tonight. I've been thinking we should stop seeing one another for the time being. Lots of things going on. I'll be in touch. Sorry.'
What?
What does that even mean? How could this have happened? And why? Tris thinks to herself.
Christina, sharp as ever, notices Tris' sudden change in mood. "You okay, honey?" She questions. Tris' jaw clenches tight and her eyebrows furrow. She holds up her phone that way it is eye level to both Chris and Will. Tris watches as their eyes scan the message.
Christina tilts her head in confusion, but that confusion suddenly turns into anger. "What the fuck? What annoys me is that he acts like a wounded and heartbroken little puppy. He's all like I miss Tris, I'm going to ger her back...blah blah blah. And then he suddenly flakes? What the fu-?"
Tris cuts her off. "I know." She sounds defeated. "I'm just confused because I thought we were having such a good time. I really do not know how to feel at the moment. Like, am I angry? Sad? I don't know. All at the same time, I feel kind of dumb for almost giving in too easily, you know?" Then she starts to laugh, feeling like she is losing her mind. "That bastard cheated on me for fuck's sake. And look at me giving him another chance? Am I dumb or what? I don't know, guys. I feel like I should feel heartbroken or sad or even angry, but I almost feel nothing now."
"I'm sorry, Tris. You deserve better." Will says after letting the girls rant amongst themselves. It was almost as if the two ladies forgot he was standing beside them.
"It's not even that," says Tris. "It's the fact that I gave in so easily. I saw him and all these memories came flooding back. It's like something was back to normal for the first time in a really long time. I didn't even think, I just jumped straight into his arms or whatever it is I did. What am I even doing?" She throws her hands in the air. "I feel blinded. I wish I had been more careful with my heart."
It's as if suddenly the reality of the situation finally hit Tris. All those shared moments, all those feelings she once had for a man she was betrothed to, they were so strong and so easy for her to be blinded by. Tris takes a deep breath, "I told myself no more men. I should be sticking to those words. I need to focus on myself and my career. No more heartbreak. At least not now." Tris says the words and tries to believe them.
"We're with you with whatever you choose to do," Chris states.
"We support you no matter what." Will agrees.
"I had to end things, Zeke."
"You," Zeke points Tobias right into the chest. "You-you didn't have to do anything." Zeke is getting tired of this nonsense. "I tried to help you. Me. Zeke. Me." Zeke starts to pace back and forth. "I'm getting really sick of cleaning other people's mess. I really don't know why I'm trying so hard. First, Uriah. And now you. I love Tris like a little sister, but like can't the both of you guys not be into the same woman?"
Zeke had been exhausting himself over comforting Uriah after Tris had friend-zoned him that New Year's Day. Uriah was very heartbroken after Tris had turned him down. Deep down Uriah knew she hadn't felt the same way. But they had so much history together though. Uriah and Tris had dated for a year during high school. Uriah had really cared about her, but along the lines of their relationship, Tris felt they were better as friends. She still loved him, but not the same way he felt towards her. Uriah eventually noticed that Tris had fallen out of love with him, but the friendship love still remained. Eventually, Uriah had accepted their fate, and the two of them broke up mutually. They still remained friends. Their bond was too strong to falter. Yet, Uriah still never gotten over her. Ten years, it has been. Ten years later and he still has slight feelings for her. It was ridiculous, really. How do you not get over a girl when you clearly know nothing will ever work?
So, there Zeke had been, picking up the broken pieces for Uriah. Being a good older brother, he looks after Uriah. Zeke really loves Tris as a sister, but he knows Uriah and Tris will never work. Sometimes you just need your brother to learn on his own rather than Zeke telling him and Uriah not believing it. Now, Zeke has another problem on his plate. What once Zeke thought it was a good idea to get Tris and Tobias talking again, is now something he is starting to regret.
"I feel that you have made a mistake. I know you are trying to figure out what happened to you the night you and Tris broke up, but you didn't have to ruin things by pushing her away, Four. You and I know both know what that leads to. I know you still love her, but now you are just making this harder for yourself." Suddenly, Zeke feels tired. He doesn't want to meddle in relationships anymore. Maybe it is better for Tobias and Tris to be separated for a little. Maybe they both need their space and to figure things out on their own.
"Tobias, I think you need to take some time to sort things out. Yes, you may have ruined something, but maybe it is for the better." Zeke says.
Tobias is confused by the sudden shift in tone.
He sighs. "Why is this so complicated?"