Chapter 20
Five Years Ago...
Tobias paces back and forth debating whether he should leave the building or not. His mother, a woman he has not spoken to in a few years, recently contacted him saying that his father is in the hospital with days, maybe hours, left in his life. Tobias has not spoken to his mother nor father for the past five years. The moment he turned eighteen, he left his home and never looked back.
Evelyn, his mother, left his father when Tobias was only nine years old. Growing up in his household was a hellhole for Tobias. His father was an alcoholic who enjoyed going to bars almost every night after work wasting away his money on liquor. His father, Marcus Eaton, would come back home not only reeking of alcohol but women's perfume as well. Marcus was far from a loving father and a kind man. He blamed his problems on his wife which led to Tobias spending most of his childhood locked away in his room, and sometimes closet, listening to his parents arguing at night. So when Tobias was nine years old, his mother had had enough with Marcus' bullshit. She packed her bags while the boys were asleep.
"Tobias, Mommy's going to go away for a while okay? But I'll be back before you know it," Evelyn has said to nine-year-old Tobias. She kissed his forehead and that was the last he heard from her for almost a decade.
It was a surprise to Tobias when he learned his father had attempted to sober up after Tobias went away to college. Marcus had contacted Evelyn and they tried to work things out. It took many months for Evelyn to trust Marcus again. Tobias didn't even know his parents were trying to work things out until three years ago when Tobias was a junior in college. But he wasn't going to talk to his parents again, especially after what Marcus did to him and his mother. No way in hell was he ever going to agree to see them. His mother didn't even bother to contact him after he left. His father had spent many years tormenting him. No way, no way, was he ever going to see them ever again.
But it wasn't until he got a call a week ago from an unknown number.
"Hello?" Tobias sighed into the phone. Tris was cuddled up asleep into his side, and Tobias was riding the high he just got after being intimate with Tris.
"Tobias?" Suddenly, Tobias tensed and his face became pale. "Tobias? Is that you?"
Tobias slipped away from Tris' grasp and went into the other room. Suddenly, he felt angry and he wanted to throw something across the room. "Evelyn." He says through gritted teeth.
"Oh, Tobias. I'm so sor—," He cuts her off.
"What do you want, Evelyn." He spits, a sudden sour taste rising in his mouth.
"Your father—," She starts.
"I don't care about Marcus. I told you this last time, and I'm going to say it again. I want nothing to do with the both of you. Don't call me again." He's about to end the call when he hears Evelyn scream.
"He's dying! He only has about a week left. He wants to see you, Tobias. Please, son." Tobias feels like he should feel some sort of emotion about learning that his father is dying, but he feels nothing. But there's some part of him that feels like he should maybe see Marcus one last time and say the things he wished he could say before.
So there Tobias was, pacing back and forth in front of the hospital his father was at.
"Fuckkkk. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckkkk." Tobias sighs and puts his hand to his forehead. Tobias glares at the people who pass him and gives him weird looks. "You can do this. You can do this, Tobias. It's not that hard. Just do it," he mutters to himself. And face the man who tormented you and abused you your whole childhood? God, I cannot do this.
He never told Tris about his father dying and this whole situation. He did not tell her he was going to see him either. Yes, she knew about his past, but this was something he didn't want his future wife to be involved in. It was something he wanted to deal with on his own, and he thought he could. But maybe it was better to tell her so she could be with him throughout. For support.
He blows out a huge breath. "Okay." Tobias then finally steps into the hospital making his way to the room his father is staying.
It takes all the courage for Tobias to finally knock on Marcus' door. The door is slightly open, and he hears a quiet "come in".
The whole scene is almost too much for Tobias to take in. He feels almost small, like a little child again. And that's something he never wants to feel like ever again. Tobias suddenly regrets coming and thinks about how it might not be too late to make a run for it.
Evelyn is standing next to Marcus who lies on the bed. She looks tired with dark bags under her eyes. It looks like she hasn't gotten any sleep in weeks. Marcus does not look any better. His skin is as pale as it comes. His hair is fully gray. He looks like a living zombie. The sight of Marcus' state almost relaxes Tobias knowing that his father cannot hurt him while he's this weak.
"Son," Marcus' voice is barely a whisper.
"Hi," Tobias grits out.
Evelyn senses the tension going on in the room and quickly tries to ease it. "Tobias! My boy! You have grown into such a handsome man."
Tobias wants to yell so loudly. He wants to tell his mom to get the hell away from him and that she has no right to touch him. But the little boy in him gives him. He wants his mother. He needed her. But she did not deserve him or his love. Neither does Marcus.
So, Tobias moves away before his mother can get any closer to him. "So you wanted to see me?"
Marcus had meer minutes left in his life, and he needed to tell his son something.
"Son," he says again. Marcus attempts to lift his arm but he's too weak.
"Marcus."
"I'm so glad you could come. I wanted to apologize. I was a drunk. An alcoholic. You deserve much better. I'm sorry." Tobias's blood runs cold. Years and years of torment and that's all? No apology could ever be enough for what Marcus did to his son. His own son for god's sake.
Tobias scoffs. "You're sorry? Sorry that you locked me in a closet for days on end with no food or water? You're sorry that you used to whip me for not having good posture? Sorry that you are a pathetic son of a bitch who deserves what he is getting?—" Tobias clenches his fist so hard, they turn white. His nails dig so hard into his skin that they almost draw blood.
"Tobias!" His mother exclaims rushing toward her son. She tries to calm him down, but all Tobias sees is red.
"If you could just please understand," Marcus pleads.
"No," Tobias says harshly and points his finger at his father. "I will never forgive you, Marcus. You have done your damage. You deserve everything coming your way. I'm leaving. This was a waste of my time." Well so much for that.
"It was for your own good, son." Tobias stops dead in his tracks.
"Rot in hell, father." And he leaves without looking back.
He's fuming. He needs a drink. He needs lots and lots of drinks. And he needs them now.
Tobias stumbles into the closet bar near the hospital. He grumbles to himself. And plops onto an empty stool near the bar.
"Hey sweetie, you look a little upset. Can I make you anything to drink? I'm Marlene by the way."
"Just a shot of your strongest liquor, please."
Light jazz music fills the quiet pub as Tobias drowns himself in alcohol. There are three shot glasses stacked up in front of him, and once he finishes his fourth, he motions to the bartender to give him another.
"Ughhhhhhh..."
"Sorry, handsome, but I think I should cut you off." After all, it is only three in the afternoon.
The bartender is a tall brunette woman with brown eyes, he notices.
"I don't think you should make that decision for me," Tobias slurs.
The cute bartender takes one quick look at the clock and back at the man. "Let's make a deal," she reasons, "tell me what's got you so gloom, and if I think that you deserve another drink, I'll give you one. Sound good?" Tobias scowls but ends up nodding his head in agreement.
"I guess you could call them daddy issues. My dad's been in the hospital for the past three months. He's an alcoholic," he then takes a moment to scoff. "Ironic, is it? Complaining about my alcoholic father as I drink myself into oblivion. Anyways, he had liver cancer; he died a couple of hours ago." He stares at the empty shot glasses and releases a deep sigh.
"I'm sorry," the woman doesn't know what to say.
"I'm not. That bastard got what he deserved. It's a family thing, alcoholism runs in the family. My grandfather was an alcoholic, my ma' was alcoholic, same with my dead aunt. My father used to beat me with his belt until I passed out. God, he even had a collection of them. He used to keep his belts in an antique wooden closet. Do you know how some people take good care of their trophies, like, cars, coins, I don't know?! His belts were like his prized possessions." A cold shudder runs through his spine. Nevertheless, the words fly out of his mouth without him even knowing it. Tobias doesn't know why he's telling this random stranger all of these things but feels nice for him to say them out loud, especially for a closed-off person like himself. "My fiancé cannot see me like this. She doesn't even know what's going on."
The bartender presses her lips in a thin line. "I'm sorry that happened to you." Tobias always hated it when someone pitied him. The look in her eyes, he concludes, is something he dreads. Tris never gave him pity though. That's what he loves so much about her. She accepts him for all his insecurities and faults. Those things that he hides from everyone else just makes her love him even more.
There's a sudden urge for him to go to the restroom after drinking too many drinks. So he does and throws up all the content in his stomach.
Present Day...
"Thanks for coming with me, bud. I know it's your day off and everything, but I really appreciate it, and—," Tobias cuts his friend off before he can continue.
"No worries, man. I didn't have anything to do today anyway." Tobias sees Zeke noticeably relax instantly.
"I'm just worried about Uriah. He hasn't been answering any of my texts or calls. It's just not like him, you know?" Zeke says.
"Yeah. I'm sure whatever it is, he's fine. You know your brother, Zeke." Tobias reassures him.
When the two of them knock on Uriah's apartment door, they are greeted with no answer. But Zeke knows that Uriah is home because his car was parked in his usual spot.
"Uriah! Open up," Zeke bangs on the door. "Uri, I know your home. Open the goddamn door. Uriah!"
"Go away!" There is a faint groan on the other side of the wall. "Ouch, fuck!"
"Uriah." Zeke is growing impatient. Tobias and Zeke share a look. But lucky for them, a short moment passes and the door finally swings open.
"Geez, you look like shit." Zeke earns a glare from his younger brother. Zeke is not wrong though. His brother looks like he has not gotten any sleep. His hair is ruffled, there are multiple and questionable stains on his white shirt. There are dark circles under his eyes and he looks paler than normal. "God, Uriah, when was the last time you took a fucking shower?"
"Ugh, Zeke, if you're here to lecture me, then you can just leave. I don't want to deal with this shit right now." Tobias stands awkwardly to the side as he watches the brothers interact.
"What happened? I've been trying to text you and my calls keep going to voicemail. What's going on?" Uriah moves out of the way to let the two men into his home. Tobias scrunches his nose at some smell that lingers in the apartment. There are several empty beer bottles on the table and stacked up in the recycling. There are a few bags of chips opened that are just on the floor.
"Yikes," Tobias mutters to himself.
"What happened here, Uriah?" Zeke asks again.
"Tris happened." Tobias stiffened and Zeke groaned.
"What do you mean Tris happened?" Zeke asks.
"It means that Tris and I are not going to be friends for a little bit. I don't want to talk about this anymore. So just leave it alone okay, Zeke?" Uriah holds his head from the pounding headache he has.
It's been about a week since the night Uriah and Tris happened. Neither of them has been feeling so well after putting their friendship on pause. Uriah tried to text her several times telling her that maybe the two just overreacted and they could work things out. But every time he types out the message, he just deletes the message and puts his phone away. It's better for them to have space and figure things out on their own. But it didn't make things hurt any less for Uriah. If anything, it was worse being away from her. Tris was his best friend in the entire universe. They told each other everything. If anything, he just misses his best friend.
Uriah should have known nothing would ever become more than a friendship with Tris. After all, she almost married two other men in which none of them were him.
"Uriah, what happened between you and Tris?" Uriah started to grow annoyed. With this hangover and his brother pestering him. And wait is that Tobias? Has he been here this whole entire time? But Uriah knew that his brother wouldn't stop pestering him until he gave him answers.
So Uriah sighs not caring that Tris' ex is here. "I went over to her place last week. Try to smooth things over. It didn't turn out how I planned it. I ended up telling her that I wanted more than a friendship, but she turned me down. That wasn't my intention though. I just wanted things to be less awkward. And then the next thing you know, I'm professing my love to her. Again. Unghhhhhh, gosh." Uriah rubs his eyes. "So yeah. It didn't work out. And now, we are taking a little time away from our friendship. Ughhh. What did I do? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!" He hits his head.
That was a lot to take in for Tobias and Zeke. Tobias feels somewhat betrayed that his best friend's brother would try to pursue Tris. Uriah and Tobias aren't that close but you'd think bro-code or whatever would be taken into account. Whatever.
Zeke grows a little frustrated. He's so tired of this high school drama. With Tris this, Tris that, Tris this again! But being the good older brother he is, he tries to help comfort Uriah. "I'm sorry, Uriah." But he doesn't know what else to say.
"Yeah, whatever." Uriah waves him off. " I just want to be alone right now and sulk and eat a pint of ice cream. Like Ben and Jerry's. I fucking hate Ben and Jerry's, but that's what I want right now. Maybe let myself go because I just wanna feel sorry for myself. Just for a little bit."
"Okay, Uri. Let me just clean up. Your place is a mess." Zeke leaves the room leaving just Uriah and Tobias.
The silence is agony between the two and tension seems to be running high. Tobias is starting to regret agreeing to come to Uriah's place with Zeke.
"So...," Tobias rocks back and forth on the heel of his feet.
"Look, Tobias, I didn't mean to make things awkward or uncomfortable. I don't know, I just—," Uriah starts.
But Tobias interrupts him, "It's fine, Uriah. Look," he sighs and lets out an uncomfortable laugh. "Tris is, ugh, she's really special. And I don't blame you that you have feelings for her. It doesn't make things hurt any less though. But I get it, man. I do. You guys have been friends for what? Over 12 years? I guess maybe I've always suspected, but I guess I'm just not surprised." God, Tobias wishes Zeke would just finish cleaning already and come back. Where is that fucker?
"I wasn't even trying to pursue her. I just wanted to talk to her and smooth over any awkwardness there was between the two of us. I guess it just backfired and I let my feelings get in the way. And now we're not talking for a little bit. So yeah. And I know you guys were together for several years, and I don't want there to be anything weird between you and me."
"You don't have to explain anything to me, Uriah." Frankly, Tobias didn't want to hear any more about Tris and Uriah even when it's about their friendship going to shit. If anything, he should be filled with joy. However, Tobias doesn't want to think anymore about Tris with another man.
"Thanks, I appreciate it."
To both Tobias' and Uriah's relief, Zeke finally comes back to the room. "All done!" He claps his hands together. "Woah, what happened here?" Zeke asks, sensing the weird tension in the room. Tobias and Uriah glare at Zeke.
In response, Zeke puts his hands up in surrender. "Geez. Okay, okay, don't shoot me. How about lunch?"
"I'm down," Tobias replies.
"I can't. I actually have work stuff to deal with at the moment." Uriah responds.
"What's going on with that Youtube channel of yours, Uri? The one you share with Tris." Zeke asks.
"I don't know. Probably just going to go on a hiatus or something while I figure stuff out. I really don't know. But just go on to lunch without me. I'll be fine."
"You sure? I'll come back tomorrow just in case."
"I'll be fine, Zeke," Uriah says more sternly.
"Okay. But let me know if you need anything, okay?" Zeke gives his brother a look.
"Yes, dad. I'll be fine. I promise."
"Okay, but I will be back tomorrow. Just so you know." Zeke points a finger at his brother but he just earns an eye roll.
"Okay, bye Uri. We'll see you later." Zeke says. Tobias presses his lips in a firm line and gives him a polite smile and wave.
"Take care, Uriah." Uriah smiles at Tobias.
"Thanks, Tobias."
"So what brings you here today, Beatrice?" A woman asks. She looks like she's in her mid-forties. Her dark brown hair with a few strands of gray cascade down to her shoulders. Tris can see a few tattoos peaking out of her neck. She's dressed in a dark purple blouse and tan khaki pants. Something about her presence just seems so comforting to Tris. Like she can trust her. Like she can finally let someone into that brain of hers.
"Oh, it's just Tris. Tris is fine...But uhm, well, wow...I don't know where to begin. I've never done this before? I'm a little nervous, to be honest." Tris stares at her hands as she fiddles with her fingers.
"It's okay, Tris. You have nothing to be nervous about. I'm here to help you out as much as possible. Therapy is not easy for everyone."
Tris blows out a sigh of relief. "Wow okay," she takes a deep breath. "Well, I guess I'll just have to start from the beginning then."
A/N: Please let me know what you think! I always appreciate your input! Also, check out my new divergent one-shot I published last week! Stay safe everyone! Lots of love to you all!