Chapter 5

TRAX

Stupid and angry are a bad combination. Stupid I don't have any tolerance for. Angry is how God made me at the hands of my old man. He was angry at the world and took it out on his family. Me, Sugar 'cept back then he was called Merle like I was called Daryl, and our Ma were his favorite victims. She died and Merle joined the army around the same time. They both left me with the biggest asshole on the planet. The scars on the outside healed over two decades ago, but the ones I carry inside me every day have never gone away.

Sometimes the pain makes me do stupid things like I did tonight. Seeing Sophie here at the club was a shock. Seeing her with Wolf of all the fucking people pissed me off. The brother's a good guy, but he can have any pussy in the world he wants. I'm a guy and even though I don't swing that way, the man is just too fucking good looking.

That ain't me. I hold my own, but I ain't nothing like him or Diesel or even Striker. And I got at least ten years on them. So why with the millions of women in Georgia did he have to hit on Sophie?

My Sophie.

I grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels from the bar and found myself a corner to sulk in. I took a long swig from the bottle wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. My eyes closed as the long burn from the whiskey hit me.

Fuckin' Sophie. The woman I couldn't shake. The first woman in years to make me want more than the quick fuck we had. That's usually all I did was quick fucks and one-night stands. I didn't even enjoy fucking the Hellions over again too many times. We got a new girl in, she'd last once or twice with me. After that maybe a blowjob or two but nothing more.

Until that one rainy hot as hell afternoon with Sophie.

I remember her telling me she was moving in with her cousin. I was clueless that her cousin was Diesel's ol' lady. We didn't talk about where I lived or where she was headed. She never asked me about the club that was written all over my cut. The same cut I had on now was the one I wore when I met her. Since her cousin is heavily involved in the club why didn't Sophie say anything to me?

She was right under my nose the entire time and I didn't realize it. If I had only asked her for her damned number, I could've easily been with her this whole time and Wolf wouldn't even have had a chance.

I hated to admit it but I fucked up bad. Really fucking bad.

I should've never hit Wolf. Stupid ass move on my part, but all I saw was red when he had his arm around her. They looked cozy together, and I hated that. This is gonna come back to haunt me. Bear told me not even an hour ago that I was doing good and now I hit a brother? Over pussy?

That's where the stupidity came in. Combine that with me being pissed off, and I became a total asshole. The best thing for me to do right now is to stay right where I am and get drunk off my ass. Maybe I'll forget this ever happened. Maybe I'll forget the woman who's haunted my dreams for the past couple of weeks ain't the person I hoped she'd be. Or maybe it was who I wanted her to be.

I had made a good dent in the bottle when I felt hands undoing my belt. I was doing some 'class A' wallowing, so I had my eyes closed with my head resting on the back of the chair I was slouched down in. In my dreams, it was always Sophie doing this so that's who my whiskey clouded head imagined it was. The button popped on my jeans and the zipper slid down nice and slow.

My previous soft dick was now on its way to being steel hard. With the help of her fingers, I popped free of my pants. Her tongue swirled around the head and all I could do was groan.

"I knew this was what you needed, Trax. That slut isn't for you. Wolf will use her up in a day or two, but I've always been here for you."

That wasn't the voice I was expecting. I cracked open an eye and saw it was Lola. The one Hellion I made the mistake of fucking more than a couple times. And she was my regular blowjob bitch. Fuck, it wasn't Sophie. I wanted Sophie, not Lola. So did my dick as he started to deflate instantly.

"Go away." Damn, those words came out in a slurred.

"No, baby. You need this. Relax and let Lola take care of you."

If I wasn't so drunk, I'd pushed her off me. But I was and felt good. Maybe I'd pretend it was Sophie's sweet lips around my cock and not Lola's who'd probably given more blow jobs in her life than ten times the number of bikers in here tonight…and it was crowded.

My head brought up the images that I've lived off since that afternoon with her. The sight of a naked Sophie climbing over the seats to get to me. Her tits swinging free and me wanting to grab one, but I was afraid to scare her off. The feel of her bouncing on top of me as my dick was in her as deep as it could go.

So I let Lola suck my now hard dick.

It was the thought of Sophie that had a smile on my face, not Lola. I opened my eyes to watch even though there was a chance that seeing the Hellion and not the girl of my dreams would fuck up everything.

And it did. I started to feel the change in my body as I watched Lola go down on me.

That's when Sophie walked into my line of sight.

She turned her head toward me and I could see the surprise on her face as she watched Lola suck on my dick like the pro she was. Sophie was with Wolf now so my only revenge was to smile at her as if I was enjoying this. I lifted the bottle to my lips and took another swallow. She was still staring at me. The shock on her face was clearly evident.

So I did a totally dick thing. I gestured to see if she wanted to join us. She responded with a middle finger that caused me to laugh. I mouthed the words to her "Your loss" and saw her storm away.

If there had been anything to salvage, I just blew it.

People hurt me then I hurt them.

I lasted about another minute with Lola trying to bring my limp dick back to life. Right before Sophie ran off, our eyes met for a brief second. Hers were shining with tears and I let her go. I didn't stop her or Lola.

Everything I did tonight was nothing short of a complete fuck up. And my dick knew it as it refused to get hard again. I had enough of people tonight. Hell, I had enough of myself. I pushed Lola off me and she fell off to the side. She was spouting curses at me as I shoved myself back into my pants.

"Listen, Bitch," I said grabbing her chin roughly with my hand. "Stay away from me. Don't touch me or try to sneak into my room like you've done in the past. If you do, you're done having any part of this club. We'll throw you out on your overused ass. You're easily replaceable, don't forget that." I stood up using the arm of the chair for support. The room was spinning.

Lola stood up with fire in her eyes.

"Whatever you're thinking of doing, don't," I snapped at her. "And stay away from Sophie. If I hear that you've harassed her or even talked to her, you're gone. And if I hear you call her a slut again, you're going to have to worry about more than being banned from here. Much more." Her eyes widened at my threat. "There's only one slut in this clubhouse tonight and I'm looking at her right now. So get gone!"

I didn't wait to see what she did. Still gripping my half-full bottle of Jack, I drunkenly pushed my way to the stairs. It took several tries with my key before it made it into the lock and my door finally opened. I took a quick piss with not everything making it into the bowl, before collapsing on my bed with the bottle still in my hand.

Sitting up I guzzled down way more of the whiskey than I should have. The only smart thing I did was put the bottle down on the nightstand before I passed out.

I lived up to the club's name tonight. I was nothing but a motherfucking sadistic devil. Hopefully, I'd wake up tomorrow and forget all this happened.

Sophie

This night was nothing short of a disaster. I was trying my best to hide in the back of the SUV with Diesel driving Chrissy and me home. He hadn't said a word since we got in the car. I knew once he dropped us off he was going to head back to his club. I was so embarrassed and furious at the same time.

Everything had started out just fine. Wolf was a really nice hunky guy, but he just wasn't right for me, but that didn't mean I wasn't having fun talking with him. When we got to the club, the place was pretty busy, so we started with drinks from the bar and that's where Chrissy introduced me to Wolf. He came strutting up to us like he was God's gift to women and frankly he was. He was one of the best-looking men I had ever seen. He knew it, but at least he held any cockiness about in check.

And the more we talked, the more I liked him but not the way Chrissy hoped. One minute we were laughing and the next Wolf is staggering backward holding onto his jaw. I had turned away for a second wondering how I could get his arm off my shoulders without looking like that's what I was doing when Daryl walked up to us and punched Wolf right in the face.

I was shocked to see Daryl there looking like he wanted to kill Wolf. Then he said I belonged to him. I think we all were surprised by what was going on. That's when I noticed he wore the same cut as Diesel and Wolf did. I had learned that's what the leather vests all the guys wore were called...cuts.

I had no idea he was a Road Devil. Hell, I didn't even know what they were until Chrissy explained it to me when I arrived. To say I was shocked was an understatement. First, with Daryl suddenly appearing out of nowhere, since I didn't think I'd ever see him again and I frankly really wanted to, kind of freaked me out. Then he goes and punches Wolf in the face. No provocation, no nothing just a solid blow to the jaw.

Daryl must have thought I was with Wolf and I wasn't. The jerk never gave me a chance to explain.

Instead, he completely humiliated me by telling everyone that we had sex in my car. I came off like such a slut I wanted to melt into the floor and just disappear. It was the first time I had ever done anything like that but no one else knew that. These people didn't know me and they must all think I have sex with random guys. It wasn't about just fucking anyone, it was being with him.

I wouldn't have ever done it with anyone else. There was something about Daryl that I was strongly attracted to so that's why I did what I did.

Except, he made it out to be dirty, and that made me look like a cheap whore.

I was so humiliated that I slapped him. It was a reflex, but he deserved it. Then with hate filling his eyes, he walked away.

Even after all that, I still wanted to talk to him. I guess I am a glutton for punishment, so I walked around the clubhouse getting my ass patted and pinched countless times plus propositioned by almost every guy in the place trying to find him. Except, I never should have tried because what I found ruined everything for me.

I thought he was a nice guy, but he isn't.

Sure I barely knew him, but those few hours I spent with Daryl he was not only fun to be with but he also knocked my socks off. Best sex of my life.

The guy I saw tonight wasn't him. I had really liked Daryl, but I hated Trax.

He got over being jealous real quick. I saw one of those cheap tramps whose job is to keep the guys 'happy' with her lips wrapped around his dick. The room was full of people while he sat relaxed in a chair getting a blowjob. That was something I had fantasized about with him. Could I fit him all the way in my mouth with that big dick of his?

Nope. That would never happen now or frankly ever.

And he had the nerve to smile at me when he saw me looking at him. He smiled! Then he invited me over to join them. That was the last straw. I was not the skank he made me out to be and there was no way I was going to join in. He was fucking crazy if he thought I'd even consider that.

That's when I found Chrissy and asked if we could go home. I was surrounded by strangers who now thought I was nothing short of a whore. Even Wolf had left us and I just couldn't take it anymore.

I just wanted to crawl unto a little ball and die of embarrassment.

I was staring out the windows into the dark night when Diesel finally spoke. "Anyone gonna tell me what the fuck that was about?"

The anger in his voice started me to cry. First, it was just a few tears that I wiped away then it was all-out sobbing.

"Christ, Chrissy! Do something."

Knowing my cousin, she probably rolled her eyes at him. "Hey Soph, it's okay. We're going home where we can put on a movie and eat a tub of Rocky Road. Okay?"

I shook my head yes.

"Do you want to tell Diesel what happened or do you want me to?"

"You do it please, Chrissy," I mumbled trying to get myself under control.

"Everything?"

"Everything."

"Okay, babe. This is what happened. Remember, I told you that Sophie had that flat tire on the way here? Well…" My cousin told my whole story to Diesel. How I met Daryl. How it started to rain before he could change my tire and what we did while we waited.

"Sophie, you didn't know Trax was a Road Devil?" she asked.

I shook my head no. "I didn't even know he was called Trax. He told me his name was Daryl."

"Was he wearing his cut?" It was the first time Diesel spoke since Chrissy filled him in.

"He was, but I remember thinking of it solely as a just a leather vest. I know I didn't see the back of it but come to think about it he didn't have it on in the car so it didn't make that much of an impression on me. I wonder why he took it off?"

Chrissy laughed. "Is Diesel wearing his now? Or on the way over?"

The man wore black all the time, so it was hard to tell in the dark car. "I can't tell."

She then held up his neatly folded cut to show me. "We don't wear then in cages," Diesel told me. "Trax is done with you now, you know that, right?"

Well, that got my dander up. "What the hell did I do, Diesel? He's the one that slugged Wolf. That wasn't me. He's the one that spilled what we did to everyone in that damn clubhouse. Again, that wasn't me. He never told me he was with the Road Devils, hell he didn't even tell me anything. So why would he be done with me? Not that there really was anything to be done with."

What had I done? It made no sense. Maybe if Daryl had talked to me without overreacting this night could have turned out a lot differently. Diesel had it backward, Daryl or Trax, whoever the hell he was, wasn't done with me because I was done with him.

"Babe, explain." Diesel was starting to piss me off.

Chrissy tried to turn in her seat to look at me. "Soph, MC's are all about the guys. The women, even the ol' ladies, come second to the club. It's just the way it is and those of us that are part of this world have to accept it."

"I'm not part of the MC world."

"You are. Through us. We don't argue with our guys in front of the other club members. We don't do anything to make them look bad. Got it?"

"Wait, are you saying that with everything Trax did it doesn't matter? Just the fact that I slapped him for spilling my personal…our private time together is what this boils down to?"

"Yep." I saw Diesel's eyes look at me in the rearview mirror. He was dead serious. "Trax will have to answer to slugging Wolf at church next week, but you may not be allowed back in the clubhouse."

Right now I wanted nothing to do with the Road Devils or that clubhouse so frankly, I didn't care.

"Diesel…Honey, you'll tell the guys how this was her first time there and she didn't know the rules. Trax disrespected her and you know that. I need you to stick up for her, baby." I appreciated Chrissy asking Diesel to put in a good word for me but it wasn't needed. I had no plans to step foot in that horrible place again.

"Babe, c'mon."

I saw Chrissy lean over and whisper in his ear. He shook his head no, but she kept softly talking to him until I saw a small smile appear on his face. "Okay, I'll say something at church but I can't promise you anything."

"What's church?" I knew they certainly didn't go Sunday services, so I was confused. Again.

"That's what it's called when they have their Friday afternoon club meetings."

I turned my head toward the window so Diesel wouldn't see me rolling my eyes. So far all I learned about this motorcycle club was that it was nothing but a boys club where they could be in charge with very sexist views about women. Nothing I had learned made me want to be any part of this life.

"Can I ask a question?"

"Sure," Chrissy answered.

"It's for Diesel."

"Ask."

Here goes nothing. "I only know bits and pieces about what MC's are like. Chrissy said that you guys aren't like Hells Angels which is what automatically comes to mind."

"We're not a 1. Sometimes we skirt the line but we don't wear that patch." He was confusing me even more.

"What's a 1?" I asked.

"It's an outlaw club whose businesses are usually illegal like drugs and gun-running."

"Why did you join, Diesel?"

He hesitated a few seconds before answering me. "When I got out of the Marines I was lost for a while. It's hard to assimilate back to everyday life when you're used to seeing death and hate all the time. I knew every guy in my unit had my back. We lived, fought, and pissed together 24/7. I missed that brotherhood when I came home. That's what the MC offers. Guys I can count on that would die for me or mine. They have my back and I have theirs. Plus, the structure helps. We don't just do whatever we want. We follow the officers of the club and what they tell us along with the bylaws of the MC. They grounded me when I was about to go off the deep end."

That's not what I expected him to say. I figured they did it simply to look badass and get women. I never thought about the brotherhood as he said.

Before I could thank him, we pulled into the driveway. We all got out of the SUV and I saw Chrissy hand him his cut. "If you drink too much, then please don't ride home, stay at the club. Okay?"

I watched Diesel put on that leather vest that meant so much to these guys before pulling Chrissy into his arms. "Then I'll probably be at the club tonight," he chuckled before he kissed Chrissy goodbye. I wanted to leave to give them privacy but my feet wouldn't move. It was an all-consuming kiss that I envied. I wanted that kiss, not by Diesel, but by a guy that loved me the way he loved my cousin. They didn't care who saw them they were that much in love.

"Ah, Soph…I'll meet you inside, "Chrissy giggled.

The sound of a zipper going down had me scurrying away. "Night Diesel!"

The only sound he made back at me was a deep grunt followed by an "oh fuck."

By the time Chrissy came back in the house, I was in my sleep shorts and top and getting a glass of water in the kitchen. She had a sex kitten look on her face. "He's gone?"

"We'll see him in the morning," she told me with a wink.

"You're not worried about him and all those women there?" There's a lot of temptation at the club tonight. I saw it firsthand. The Hellions and other women there were dressed extremely provocatively.

"Nope. When I agreed to be his ol' lady he promised me he was done with that. I know he loves me and I trust him completely. Plus, I reminded him of what he has a home before he left. He so loves my blowjobs," Chrissy laughed.

I smiled at her shaking my head. This house had thin walls. I heard more than I cared for every night. While they were loudly having sex across the hall, I'd remember being with Daryl and how good that felt. My fingers had to take care of my pent up frustration. I knew Chrissy was lucky when it came to Diesel. They certainly grew these Georgia boys bigger than usual.

It was late one night, and I had fallen asleep watching TV. The creaking of the stairs woke me up. I peeked over the arm of the sofa seeing a fully nude Diesel coming down for a drink. I watched him through tiny eye slits as I pretended I was still asleep. He was semi-hard and impressive. Daryl was still bigger as least I thought he was, but Diesel's cock was enough to turn even me on.

When he was done, he headed for the stairs and I got a great look at his perfect ass. It really was perfect. He had taken maybe two steps up and said, "Sophie when you're done staring at my ass can you turn out the lights before you head up." Then he was gone.

I was busted. The next morning Chrissy thought it was hilarious and I was mortified to have been caught staring at her man. I was just glad that Diesel had already left for work when I emerged from my room.

This reminded me it was time I found a job and a place of my own. These two needed their privacy and so did I. And it would remove me from anything MC related too.

At least tonight I could count on getting a full night's sleep without being woken up my by extremely loud cousin screaming, "Harder, baby. Harder!"